Dear Ada,
I am having a smashing time at camp. The counselor is angry and the food is smelly. I met Legolas and we became pregnant friends. Unfortunately, Legolas is a nit wit and I sprained my esophagus so we couldn`t go horse-backriding like everybody else. I need more staplers and a mango sharpener, so please paternally pick more when you write back.
Your son,
Aragorn