Title: Her Fragile Smile
Author: chromeluster27
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: TYL!Hibari/TYL!Chrome -1896-
Prompt: 1896love (Hibari x Chrome Community) 100 Themes Challenge at LiveJournal - #14. Smile
Rating: PG-13/T
Warnings: Character death, OOCness.
Summary: Semi-AU— Define happiness? From this moment then on, he was afraid that, he can't anymore. His exclusive source of that abstract feeling was now only but a faltering dream in the same daylight when he had first uncovered it.
Disclaimer: Why would I even put an area with the label 'disclaimer' if I own 'Katekyo Hitman Reborn!'? LOL. :D Yes folks, for the record, I don't own it, Amano Akira-sensei does. XD
A/N: [Originally posted in my LiveJournal account on July 11, 2011. Posting it here for the pleasure of more readers. (as if many of you were anticipating this, LOL)]
Just a random thing I made to celebrate my survival on my Math test. :D I don't know what randomness should I put in here so just…
Please enjoy my craziness, minna~!
{ Ima demo kawarazu omoidashiteru… Kitto subete ga itsuka tsunagariatte kienai you ni to… }
Define happiness.
Most of you would probably say that happiness is such a sweet abstract feeling. We cannot see it coming, yet we could definitely feel it crippling all through out our whole existence. We cannot hold it, yet most of us would desire to grab on it like our life depended on it. It doesn't have limbs, yet it confines you into its embrace that nobody wouldn't want to get out of.
This premise on 'happiness's' meaning will be already enough for a simpleton to understand. However, sometimes this mysterious thing called 'life' is not that plain for you to be able to substantiate such emotions like happiness. Though on the other hand, some people might give us an answer that was much uncomplicated and less romanticized than of what most of us will be uttering of.
But for instance, try asking the same question to Hibari Kyoya.
Define happiness.
His sole answer will be—her smile. Nagi's smile…
He was never particular with the word 'happy', he might just consider it as a variant of the word 'contentment'. For in his weird personality, we can consider both as one. Since for him, it was Nagi's smile that serves as his 'pulley' to tow him out from his own pit of aloofness. It was the same smile that gave him the reason to step out upon the broad daylight and show her his other side. Her smile proved to him that he was never destined to be alone. It was Nagi's warm and cheerful smile that he felt he was content with his existence.
He wanted nothing anymore, because Nagi was already his everything. He valued her smile more than anything, and nothing could ever change this valued thing of his.
However Fate was never kind to anyone, to any child of the human race, and because Hibari Kyoya is in fact a human being as well, he can't be spared from the fangs of it.
Define happiness.
His sole answer will be—her smile. Nagi's smile…
It is still instilled in his memory like an irremovable tattoo, that blissful afternoon, where they sat together amidst the wide field of dandelions dancing back and forth with the summer breeze.
More than the paradise-like atmosphere that Nagi and he have enjoyed at that instant, more than those sweet humming of birds swirling at the clear skies of the day, more than that sweet jasmine fragrance coming from her flowing blue locks, more than that fair complexion radiated by the daylight, more than that soothing serenity that Nagi's presence have given him, the thing that compelled him to savor the moment and eventually, to be with her at all times, was to see again her smile. Her smile—that was illuminated by the strands of summer rays from the sky. Her smile—like an angel sent to make his coldness melt. Her smile—a precious treasure that only he would claim as his own.
He could not explain it, but somewhere deep in his mind told him that he should hold onto her like his life depended on it, that he shouldn't break out of her company, that he should feel her warmth at all times.
Define happiness.
His sole answer will be—her smile. Nagi's smile…
That smile, what made it the best was the fact that it was so fragile.
However, Hibari Kyoya has overlooked the mere reality that the more fragile the thing we endear the most, the more that it might impair you in the future. That that certain aspect that he was keen of was the same aspect that will tore him into pieces.
Define happiness?
From this moment then on, he was afraid that, he can't anymore. His exclusive source of that abstract feeling was now only but a faltering dream in the same daylight when he had first uncovered it.
Yes, that delicate smile, it was lost, already lost.
For as long as she was confined it the four corners of that gloomy room, he would always be left wandering into oblivion.
Nagi's smile—Kyoya never thought of losing it in this way. Regret and hatred for himself for being useless poked his heart every time he visits her at the recovery room. He was always eager to check on her if she's fine and at the same time afraid for every time he slid open that cream-colored door he always spots her sitting at her bed emotionless, motionless, and lifeless.
As he walked towards her position, his heart always wished that he had the abilities to rewind Time and stopped her from driving her new car. That accident made her zeal disappear and both of them to be sucked in this sheer uncertainty.
Quiet and still, Nagi glanced towards the door.
Kyoya marched towards her as gently as he could, like a wind that travels tenderly at the height of the day. He sat at the chair beside the bed, and took a second to look at her façade flashing a blank expression at his direction.
Quiet and still, Nagi removed her fixed stare at the door and turned her violet orbs to the window at her far right.
"Nagi…"
He desperately wanted to finish his statement with the question, "How are you?". However, he hesitated to ask it to her for he knew that it will be useless for the reply would be so obvious.
Quiet and still…
She remained silent, static and unresponsive.
She's definitely not okay.
He now moved his gray eyes towards her clasped hands placed over her lap. Little red blots stained the white blanket covering her stretched legs. The blood was coming from her hand.
"Tch. You're really troublesome, Nagi. You have removed the dextrose tube again."
Her blank stare travelled from the window to her clasped hands. She tilted her head down that caused her long, blue locks to cover her face.
Kyoya stretched his arms to brush off those strands of hair covering her face. In this way, he would see her delicate face clearer. In this way as well, he would see once more the scars incurred to her by that fateful accident. His hand was only inches away from being able to fulfill its task, but in the end, due to the latter reason, he hesitated to do so.
Scars and wounds—as much as that to the pain of those damaged organs removed, transplanted and repaired inside her, as much as that to losing her right eye, as much as that to the impaired leg that she was enduring at the moment—what would probably leave a mark to her was the strain and shock implanted in her.
Just by merely looking at her miserable form—he felt it, those warm tears gradually flowing upon her pale cheeks covered by the fibers of her locks. He felt it, her trauma from that mishap. He felt it, her pain and regret for being so happy and excited that day. She never knew it, he never knew it—that excessive happiness and excitement over something can cost you everything. In this instance, her smile was the toll.
Beads of tears continued to flow from her lone purple orb, though she remained still and quiet.
"Nagi…" He whispered monotonously yet worriedly.
She went on letting the tears flow upon her face, while trying her very best to suppress her sobbing and sniffing.
"It's all right, Nagi…"
His words of comfort were of no effect to the bedridden girl. At this point in time, she could no longer hold back her sobs and sniffs. Her crying gradually became more audible as seconds passed.
"Nagi, you don't have to cry. It's already fine."
As each second passed by, the more her situation becomes so vulnerable for him to watch.
"Nagi… don't cry. I want to see you smile."
Her crying went on, and in between her sobs she finally uttered her unspoken agony,
"I-it's… it's my fault… the accident… it's my fault… gone… passenger's seat…"
"Nagi, stop sobbing."
The blue-haired lady is now clutching the stained blanket in front of her chest. She seizes it tightly, so tightly that the veins that were opened due to her abrupt removal of her dextrose tube bleeds even more.
"Nagi, stop this." He spoke monotonously to her.
"I-I know K-kyoya-kun wanted me to smile…"
Define happiness.
"Yes of course. I want to see you do that always." He answered.
The sole answer would be her smile—Nagi's smile…
"B-But it would be meaningless…"
He forgot the fact that it a smile flashed in one's façade would definitely be futile…
"What do you mean by that, Nagi?"
Kyoya cannot control his restrained affection for her. He decided to pacify her swirling emotions by caressing her long blue tresses in the hopes of transferring his unwavering feelings for her.
Because Fate was never tender to anyone, not even to the heart that endears someone truly. Once it has decided to cut your Thread of Existence, a happily ever after would be only but a dream.
"What's this? M-my hand… went through her hair."
"It's c-cold… A-are you here Kyoya?"
"What are you saying, Nagi?"
"If you're listening… I-I'm sorry Kyoya… b-because of me… b-because of the accident…"
That smile, what made it the best was the fact that it was so fragile. But he was wrong, so wrong to be the cause for that delicate smile to fade off…
He just closed his eyes upon realizing what those words meant. But more than losing the chance of holding her hand in the future and for eternity, more than losing that prospect of stroking her silky hair at the moment, more than having the chance of reminiscing the past with her, what he be repentant for was losing the chance to see again her smile.
And he held her bleeding hand in the hopes of delivering her his message, that it's not her fault.
…for as long as the two of them remain confined in the four corners of this nightmare, they would always be left wandering into oblivion.
"I w-wish you'll be here, Kyoya…"
He nodded. He will, until she can show him her smile again.
{ Anata wo kurishimaseru subete no mono ni… Hyaku owari ga ryuu you ni to… }
A/N: Thanks for reading till the end. :D I know, the ending was a bit rushed, because Writer's Block has threatened me again, whew… thank goodness I got away and I was able to finish this, LOL. Pineapples (Reviews, comments, constructive criticisms) are absolutely welcome!