A/N: Hi there. This is my first Phil and Dan story. It will be an angsty one, but hopefully funny at times too. Please comment so I will know if anyone is interested in this sort of story! ;)

I do not own Phil Lester, Dan Howell, or any other known person mentioned in the story. ):

Dan smirked at Phil as he squinted in the blazing sunlight, bright blue eyes shielded with one hand. The bag of American candies was swinging in the other. "Where are your sunglasses?"

"I was just wondering the same thing," Phil said, patting his pockets.

"You didn't leave them...back there, did you?" Dan asked, feigning horror at the thought of battling the ever-growing crowd of spectators. They had been trailing behind since they'd left the busy candy shop.

"I don't know."

"Hey look! They stopped! Love you guys! Can we get a pic!" A female voice rose above the din of voices and the steadily passing traffic.

They both sighed. It wasn't that they didn't appreciate the attention. It had just been a very long day, and here in Los Angeles it was only one o'clock in the afternoon, too many hours until bedtime. The flight alone had lasted over eleven hours, and naturally the most annoying passenger ever, was seated in their row.

The culprit, a small man dressed in a navy polyester suit, with a cleanly shaven head and enormous glasses, emitted sounds from his nasal passages that frightened the "bejeesus" out of them, as Dan had so bluntly put it. Periodically and without warning, he would pull the glasses away from the bridge of his nose, and honk loudly. The obscene nasal sound reverberated about the plane's cabin, and was far too close for comfort.

Phil jumped in his seat just the same as Dan when he heard it, but he politely busied himself with a magazine when he saw that the man seemed sincerely apologetic. However contorted his face may have been, he was ready to forgive. Dan on the other hand, blatantly stared point-blank at the small man with his piercing dark eyes, boring holes into the shiny little skull until he truly believed it was a one-time offense. However, it wasn't long before the sound startled them from a nap once more.

"The hell?" he whispered to Phil. "Sounds like a...rhino..packaderma...upagus...er..." Quizzically staring out the window, Dan searched for the perfect terminology to describe the little weasel who had even made him turn away his snack.

Phil's eyes widened when he realized that the man had heard what Dan said. He threw his companion a chastising look, and shook his head ever so slightly in warning. Dan rolled his eyes, but slid lower in his seat. They'd both hoped to catch a bit of sleep before arriving, but with the man obviously having no intention of sleeping himself as he sat poring over a stack of messy papers, there was little chance of it for anyone else aboard either.

Dan put his ear buds in, and gave Phil a scowl instead. Phil leaned his head back on his headrest and closed his eyes, hoping the guy would get the hint to get some shuteye, himself. There was no such luck, as he proceeded to make the ridiculous sound at regular intervals, from Heathrow to LAX.

Now, wandering the streets of L.A. exhausted and slightly out of sorts, there would be little time to unwind before they were to meet up with Chris and PJ. Then, there was the fact that they were being trailed by over a dozen fans who had recognized them.

"I expect paparazzi any moment, at this rate," Phil said with a sleepy twist of his mouth.

Dan looked over his shoulder, and flashed a charming smile just as two girls sidled up. He wrapped a long arm around each of them, still grinning.

"Hello," he greeted, politely pushing the sunglasses to the top of his head to make eye-contact.

"Oh my God!" one squealed, preparing the camera she held for a selfie of the three of them. Dan grinned for the camera, while the other girl bounced up and down excitedly, jiggling him senseless. He could only imagine what the photo would turn out like.

She clicked it. "Thanks!" she cried, planting a surprise kiss on the exposed dimple he sported when he smiled, making him blink furiously with embarrassment.

"No...problem," he replied, looking a bit flustered.

Simultaneously, Phil had been flanked by two girls who were giggling uncontrollably. "Would someone please take this?" he asked the crowd, hoping to put an end to the girls' high-pitched screeching.

"I'm too nervous to take it myself!" she exclaimed for the third time.

"Aw, don't be," Phil said, smiling.

"I'll do it," Dan said, desperately wanting a break from the abundance of admiration. He took the camera and stepped back. "Say cheese!"

x-x

Twenty minutes had elapsed before they finally inched away, waving sheepishly at the new faces that they wouldn't be stopping to greet. "Nice meeting you!" Dan called, waving.

Phil was already way ahead of him, practically sprinting back to the shop. He had a bag of candy to delve into, and a pair of sunglasses to find.

"Phil! Wait up!" Dan called. He raced to catch up.

They hadn't gone far when the street seemed to almost magically clear. "Hmmmm..." Phil said, looking about curiously. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, must be something though. It was just jam-packed a moment ago." Phil mopped at the back of his neck. It hadn't been this hot the last time he visited California.

"I'm sure that if I did leave my glasses in there, they're gone by now," he said wistfully.

"Just forget them, then?" Dan asked hopefully.

"What? Those are my phillion glasses! I'm at least going to try to find them. I love them," he said with an exaggerated pout.

"Right," said Dan with a crooked grin.

"What? You have danosaur ones!" Phil reminded him.

"Yes, but notice that I'm not wearing them Here! Now!" he teased.

"Your loss."

Dan hung back a bit, digging furiously into his sack of sweets. He was getting really hungry now, since he hadn't eaten on the plane. "Bloody hell..." he complained when he couldn't find what he wanted.

Phil shot him a frown. "What are you doing? Come on!"

"Coming...coming..."He finally pulled open the package he sought, and shook some into his mouth, slamming into the back of Phil in the process.

The cool air-conditioned breeze hit them with a refreshing gust as they re-entered the candy shop. The woman behind the counter looked surprised, but smiled warmly. "Back so soon, boys?"

They smiled back at the friendly round-faced woman in the bright pink smock. "Actually-" Phil began, searching for the right words. He blushed slightly, and scanned the counter where he'd stood to pay for his purchases earlier.

"He's misplaced his sunglasses," Dan finished for him quickly, seeing her perplexed look.

"Oh? That's a shame. Haven't seen any, dear. What did they look like?"

Dan snorted, and Phil whacked him in the ribs with the back of his hand. "Uh...they were-" His eyes followed a young woman who had emerged from a back room to join them.

"Go ahead Phil, describe them," Dan said, backing just out of reach. He smiled smugly, clearly enjoying himself.

"They were lion-mane frames and they had ears on the stems," Phil said in a rush, as if saying it faster might make it sound less unusual.

The young woman smiled broadly. "You're in luck! I picked them up myself, and put them in the back. Thought they belonged to the little boy who comes in on Fridays."

Phil grinned and shoved a hand into the front pocket of his jeans, covering his mouth with the other to suppress a giggle. Dan's melodic laughter permeated the suddenly quiet store.

"Yeah, I'm rather attached to them," Phil explained, feeling the need to elaborate further.

"No need to explain, honey," the older woman said sweetly. "Audrey, would you go get them so these gentlemen can be on their way. I'm sure they have a busy day planned."

The redhead nodded and disappeared into the back room. "Thanks," Dan said, with a paternal look on his face.

"Had a chance to sample the goodies?" she asked while they waited.

"I have!" Dan chirped. "You were right, these candies you Americans call Whoppers, are just like the Maltesers we have!"

"Here you go," Audrey said, handing back the treasured sunglasses.

Phil took them gratefully. "Thanks," he said shyly.

"Come visit us again if you're ever back this way!" the older one called as they headed out.

"Will do!" Phil said.

"Bye!" Dan called. The hot air was like a slap in the face when they pushed the door open to the heat of the day. "Uggg...must be why people are inside somewhere, enjoying the air-conditioning," Dan said.

"What time is it?" Phil asked curiously, busily adjusting the lion glasses on his face.

"Er..." he studied the screen with shock. "Holy Hell! It's three o'clock! We've missed them by now!"

"Okayyyyy..." Phil drew out, contemplating the next move. "Let's see-" he glanced at his own phone to check for messages. "Nothing new. That's odd."

"They won't even be there now! We'll have to find our own way back! We lost track of time for those stupid glasses!" Dan grumbled.

"Hey!" Phil scolded. "Remember, we were stopped by fans too."

"Yeah...but this is our one night to party and-"

"Let's not panic. We'll just head over and see if they're still waiting," he said, scrolling calmly through his messages. Dan eyed him with frustration. He hated when Phil seemed so calm under pressure that it made him look neurotic. "Let's head that way and see if we can catch a taxi."

He suddenly changed direction when he spotted some benches under an awning. They could sit down, sheltered from the sun, and wait for one to hail He motioned to the benches and Dan walked ahead, still sulking.

"I'll text them!" he said with a huff, frantically typing as he walked. "Stupid glasses..." he said again, glancing at them perkily perched atop Phil's nose.

"Shut up," Phil said, inwardly smiling.

They walked along with Dan still slightly ahead, texting intently, and Phil still scrolling. Dan heard the rumbling of tires long before his disgruntled brain ever processed the information.

"Aha!" he heard Phil say gleefully behind him, about to hit speed dial. Taking another step, Dan found himself at the entrance of the alleyway, gravel spraying up and stinging his legs like rubber bullets.

"OWWWW!" he cried, twisting about.

"LOOK OUT!" Phil shouted, rushing forward, and slamming an arm across his chest to hold him back.

The enormous grille of the faded blue bus was instantly up-close and personal. The brakes protested as they ground to a screeching halt, bringing the massive vehicle within millimeters of the two terrified pedestrians.

"Holy sh-shit!" Dan sputtered, fighting for a breath. His entire body was trembling, and perspiration was trickling down his back.

Phil's eyes were round with disbelief. How had Dan not been hit? He did his best to compose himself, and raised a shaky hand to the dusty windows. He realized that he couldn't see the driver at all as he peered in, but he had to thank him. He was indebted to him, for not killing Dan. His head was spinning, and his thoughts were a jumbled mess.

"S-Sorry!" he heard himself call out. "Th-Thank you!"

Dan eyed him incredulously, mouth agape. "What? You're thanking them? Why the hell were they barreling down an alley like that, in the first place!"

Phil's nerves were taut, and weariness was settling in. Wishing he had the strength it would require to just sling Dan over his shoulder and bolt away with him, he opted for grabbing hold of his arm instead, and pulling him along to pass the waiting bus.

"Come onnnn!" he pleaded. He felt uneasy enough with the ominous-looking bus still idling, he certainly didn't need Dan confronting whoever was inside.

Dan stumbled along with him, looking like a newborn foal learning to work its long legs for the first time, as his knees knocked together from shock. They had nearly succeeded in passing the mysterious bus when the doors suddenly opened, and the sound of determined footsteps pursued.

"What the-" Dan began, startled and craning his neck to see around Phil.

Unfortunately, before he could succeed, a pair of thick arms snaked around him and a meaty hand clamped over his open mouth. He gagged at the salty taste of sweat on his tongue.

The anonymous person began to forcefully drag him backward, as he struggled with all his might. He knew getting on that bus would be the worst-case scenario, yet kicking and flailing proved futile. The person, obviously a very strong man, proceeded to yank him up the steps of the bus. Sheer panic overcame him when he couldn't fend him off, and he screamed under the weight of the hand.

His mind was racing a mile a minute. What was this about? Where was Phil? His question was quickly answered when he caught a glimpse of another large man's back, tugging Phil backwards up the same steps in front of him. His enormous arms were wrapped tightly around Phil's slender ones, and a hand over his mouth as well.

The doors closed with a soft hiss, and the bus immediately lurched forward. They were propelled to sit down on the worn seats of the bus where they were discarded like limp rag-dolls. Sprawled out on the sticky vinyl seats, they gasped for air, hearts thumping wildly in their chests. Were they being abducted by some sick perverts?

Woozy from the heat and lack of food or sleep, they were also nauseous with fear and fighting to stay alert and conscious. They stared with trepidation at the pack of strangers, looming over them. With so many of them, they realized that they wouldn't have been able to escape even if they had managed to wriggle free. The men were staring back with smug satisfaction on their faces. No one spoke, and the only sound was the shifting gears, the rocking chassis, and their own blood coursing through their veins. It seemed like an eternity before Phil was finally brave enough to speak out.

"W-Why?" he asked in a small voice, to no one in particular.

phil's face had turned a ghostly white, and Dan who was wan for him, had frozen with fear, staring blankly at his friend. Had he really just spoken? Phil swallowed nervously and looked from face to face, still waiting for answers. Dan wasn't sure that he wanted to hear what they had to say, but he couldn't stand the silent stares either.

"Who—in fucking hell are you!" he shouted angrily, regaining his voice with a vengeance.

One man with a cleanly shaven head, dressed in a flowing blue tunic and flare gauze pants, stepped forward and leaned down to where Dan sat, only a seat away from Phil. Bringing himself as close to the Brit as possible, clearly invading his personal space, he glowered. Dan's dark brown eyes grew wide, and he backed away as far as possible. The look in the man's narrowed hazel ones terrified him. The resounding slap that ensued echoed throughout the bus, and Dan reflexively reached up to hold the burning cheek.

"That boy, is inappropriate language!" he snapped."You left that kind of language behind back there, understand?"

Dan nodded, but despite the tears in his eyes he couldn't help but glare back defiantly. Phil had both hands held to his face, horrified by what he just saw. The men each took a seat, strategically blocking the exit, while others began reading from small brown leather books, a seal of some sort embossed on the cover. All were curiously silent.

Phil and Dan exchanged looks. The reality of the situation was bitterly sinking in and the outlook was grim. No one would know where they were.

Fearfully studying the group for the first time, they noticed that all the people on the bus were male, and these men wore the same gauzy, tunic-style shirts, flare pants, and leather sandals. Who were these people? And, what did they want with them?

The bus rambled on, traveling far from where they'd been only minutes before, posing carelessly for photos. The alley where Dan had nearly been killed by the bus, was now strewn with melting candy that he'd dropped while being tackled from behind.

The lion sunglasses that once sat on the bridge of Phil's nose, were twisted and ground into the gravel where the wheels of the bus flattened them as it sped away with the two YouTubers on board, their lives forever changed by fate.