Maybe Next Time
Chapter 1/Prologue
I used to hike a lot up in the woods. It was fun. Especially at night, with the cool breeze filtering through the bushes and trees. There was woods behind my house back then, and it was so easy to just escape from my mother and her dreaded calligraphy lessons. I would of rather been with Grandfather at his dojo that was further down our road. But she wouldn't let me go unless I finished my calligraphy.
While I excelled at both calligraphy and kendo, it still always felt like I couldn't get my head around what I was supposed to be doing. That's why I hiked. It made me forget about all the confusing thoughts in my head, between my family duties, and my new best friend who kissed me two days ago…
Ok, I should elaborate. I was never one for friends. I got teased a lot, between the dorky haircut my mum insisted on, and the baby fat that no amount of kendo and hiking could get rid of. I got teased a lot by this kid in my class, Niou Masaharu, who was intent on picking on all the dorky kids. (Yes, that was me at the time). But then in the last year of elementary, Renji showed up. We became close pretty fast; though he was smarter then me, he was a lot more dignified then someone like Niou. I learnt that he liked to hike as well, and used to take him into the woods with me.
It had been a particularly hot day. We had stopped in my favourite clearing, chomping on bentos my mother had made for us. He'd been silent most of the week; apparently, something had happened that he'd heard about and didn't want to talk about it. I guess he wanted to talk about it more then I thought.
"Genichirou, have you ever been in love?" he had asked, and I'd looked at him like he was a complete freak.
"Isn't love for grown ups and teenage girls who swoon over the boys on TV?" My cousins did that all the time.
"I didn't think so," he muttered, and then there was silence. I didn't know why he had started the conversation, but it confused me, and I wanted more then anything to reciprocate the question.
I didn't need to.
"I wanted to know what love is, because I think I was in love."
"With who?" I asked attentively. The closest thing I'd ever had with love was the crush I'd had on the third grade teacher, and every boy in the class had had a crush on her, even Niou, though he'd never admit it.
"My old best friend before I moved here."
I blinked. Renji was my best friend at the time, so it confused me. I'd never had any friends before him, but I knew that boys could have girl best friends if they wanted them. Was that what Renji was talking about?
"But he didn't return the feelings. That's why I didn't feel bad when I left."
Apparently not. I was even more confused when he said that. At that age, I'd never heard of guys liking guys, because I'd grown up in a very traditional family that would not allow that talk to be heard in the ears of a youngster like me.
Renji was looking at me to see my reaction. I didn't know what kind of reaction he was hoping for; all I could do was blink. Finally, I found my voice again, and asked the question that was least pressing into my brain.
"So what's wrong then?"
Renji smiled, seeming to like my reaction. I was glad; Renji was my first friend after all, and I didn't really mind if he was in love with another boy. I didn't really understand that society didn't accept it. I didn't realise what it implied till later. At the time, he was just my best friend. So what if he'd been in love with another boy.
"Genichirou…" he started, putting his chopsticks down against his bento, looking at me. I smiled at him.
"It's cool, Renji. It's just me, you can tell me. Best friends, like you said, right?" I tried, and he smiled at me again, nodding.
"He tried to contact me. He wanted to meet me, wants to keep playing tennis with me. We were doubles partners before I moved," he just kept talking, repeating things, spilling out things, the deep bond they'd had between them, the knowledge of every little thing about each other that was there. And then Renji had had to move. It almost makes me want to cry when I think about it. And I hated crying, even back then.
When he stopped, he was crying himself. Small tears fell down his face, but he made no noise. Renji never did cry out loud; always to himself. I moved closer to him, wrapping my arms around my little friend, knowing that's what my mother did when I was hurt.
"Don't cry," I whispered, my mother's voice echoing in my mind. "Boys shouldn't cry. Because then girls wouldn't have anything special about them." Even as I said the words, it made me think that those words were probably silly in this moment. We weren't talking about girls, we were talking about Renji's old best friend.
Renji sniffed once, before moving to wipe away his tears. "Genichirou, if you ever fall in love, will you tell me?"
I nodded, not knowing what else to say. "I will, I promise. You'll be the first person to tell, even before the one I love."
Renji smiled again, looking up at me, and then I realised how close we were, and remembering the last thing that my mother did to calm me down, I pressed my lips lightly to Renji's forehead. His hair stuck lightly to my lips, and his forehead tasted of sweat from the hike and soap. Renji looked up at me, a bewildered look on his face, before smiling yet again, and leaning up and pressing his lips to mine.
At the time, I didn't know what to do. His lips were softer then his forehead, or my mother's cheek, or my grandmother's hand. I didn't know what to do, but I figured if this would comfort him, I'd allow this bit of comfort. I pressed back, my hands moving to rest on his arms gently. His hands moved to my own, and he curled his fingers around my palms.
We sat there like that, lips pressed together, hands holding each other as the sun began to sink lower in the sky. We only stopped when I heard my mother's voice echo through the woods, calling to us that it was time to come home. I pulled away, cool air rushing against our lips, our fingers still threaded together.
"You promise?" he asked again, and I nodded, a smile lighting up our faces.
"I promise," I whispered back, and as my mother's voice cutted us off again, we let go of each other's hands, grabbed our packs, and ran towards my mother's voice.
My first ever kiss, in my favourite hiding spot as a kid.
With my best friend, still madly in love with his doubles partner.
It was not that long until it was time to fulfill that promise.
A/N Ummm.. So I know I've got heeps of stuff that I could be updating right now, and Meo is gonna kill me for starting something new, but I finally got out of my ditch, and while I could go back and finish Zuki-chon's chapter on Yagyuu's fan fiction, I have to find it first… and I probably could finish chapter No.3 of Stuck or even Prince of Seidonku. And I even thought about doing a sequal to Gods and Alcohol Don't Mix… but here's this, anyway… It's not a one-shot, there will be more, so just… be patient!