Title: Love is Forever: Part One: Your Forever is All That I Need
Author: The Emcee
Pairing: Hidashi
Summary: There was no escaping it, not now, not ever. He couldn't escape it, this feeling, even if he wanted to, and he didn't. Nothing else really mattered. As long as he has Hiro, everything was perfect.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, the fandom, or the song lyrics.
A/N: So, I love the Sleeping with Sirens album If You Were a Movie, This Would be Your Soundtrack and I decided to write separate fics kind of based on the songs. There will be five of them in all and, to be honest, I have no idea when I'll get to each of them, but here's the first one! Let me know what you think! R&R. Enjoy!
~…~
Love is Forever
~…~
Part One: Your Forever is All That I Need
~…~
They met in high school.
Tadashi can easily recall the first time he ever saw Hiro because he was the shortest, and youngest, in his graduating class. He watched him as he fumbled to reach the lock and his locker and couldn't help but find him endearing and too adorable for his own good. Many of the students passing in the hallway laughed at Hiro; he was too short to reach the lock and unlock his locker and they found that amusing. Tadashi thought it was cruel. And they were cruel for laughing at him, knowing that the others meant it in a malicious way. It wasn't Hiro's fault that he was too short to reach the lock; he was a child prodigy, a true genius, and Tadashi knew that Hiro was easily far more intelligent than all of the people, both teenagers and adults, combined. Everyone knew that. That didn't mean they all respected him.
Shaking his head, Tadashi made his way over to the newest addition to his graduating class and slung his bag over his left shoulder. Smiling kindly down at the boy, he opened his mouth and probably said the first nice thing to Hiro since his arrival at their school.
"Hey, there. Did you want me to help you out?" Tadashi asked him, bending down slightly.
Hiro's face was scrunched up in concentration as his hand, so small and his fingers so thin and tiny, reached for the lock that must have been just a couple of inches out of his reach... Just enough to tease and frustrate him. But there was glint in his eyes, a glint that Tadashi recognized, having one of his own, a glint that said that Hiro was not only determined, but stubborn as well.
"N-No. Th-thank you, though! I just need…to…stretch a little…more…!" Hiro, who was already standing on his tippy toes, tried to force his arm to go high, to reach the lock.
It didn't work. But it was cute and adorable to watch, though.
"Are you sure? Because it looks to me like you're just a few inches shy from reaching it," Tadashi said, his voice light and teasing, a gentle smile still on his face. The last thing he wanted was for Hiro to think he was making fun of him, which he wasn't.
"No-o! I…I'm good," Hiro said, still trying to grab the lock. Tadashi straightened up and shrugged slightly.
"Well, okay. Suit yourself," he said and had barely begun to walk away when Hiro's voice stopped him.
"W-wait!" Hiro sounded so small, so young, and so helpless that it almost broke Tadashi's heart.
He turned, a soft smile on his face, and gazed at Hiro, who now had both feet firmly on the ground. His forehead was pressed against his locker and his eyes were closed. It looked like he was about to cry, his face was read and his nose and eyes were scrunched up, like he was fighting it. Tadashi wondered just how stressful it was for Hiro to be a genius at such a young age but still have so many physical limitations. Not to mention the way his peers were treating him.
"Here, let me help you," Tadash said gently and he bent down and picked Hiro up, hoisting him close enough so that he could reach the lock on his locker.
Gasping, Hiro looked down at him, unsure and surprised at his actions, but Tadashi gave him a reassuring smile and nodded encouragingly at him. Turning back to the lock, Hiro entered his combination and the locker opened. He put a few of his textbooks inside, mostly the larger, heavier ones, before he closed the door and spun the lock. Then, Tadashi put him down and stood up. He smiled down at Hiro, who looked embarrassed and was chewing his bottom lip.
"You…you didn't have to lift me up, y'know," Hiro told him, not meeting his gazed.
Tadashi knelt down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder. He almost gasped at how small and bony it was! Perhaps it was just because he wasn't used to having such young kids around, but it made him worry. Was Hiro eating properly? Or was it just his metabolism? A mixture of both, possibly?
"I know, but I wanted you to start getting used to the height, because someday soon, you'll be able to reach that lock without help," Tadashi said, giving him a smile that he hoped was encouraging. The bright smile he received made his heart thump in his chest and told him that he had done and said the right thing.
"You really think so? How soon? Like, pretty soon?" Hiro asked him, looking so excited and awed that Tadashi just wanted to pull him into his arms and cuddle him to death. How could someone be so adorable? How was it even possible?
"Yeah, I really think so! And I don't know how long it'll take, but it'll be worth it when you can finally do it, right?" Tadashi said, smiling at him.
"Sweet! I cannot wait! My aunt will flip when I can finally make it on my own. She's always saying that I'll be shorter than her!" Hiro exclaimed, his eyes bright and wide and curious and excited. He looked happy, so genuinely happy, and Tadashi was glad for it.
"I'm Tadashi, by the way," he finally introduced himself, grinning a bit sheepishly. Hiro looked up at him, still beaming his one hundred watt smile.
"Hiro. Hiro Hamada," he replied.
And that was how they first met.
~…~
Stay for tonight,
If you want to,
I can show you,
What my dreams are made of,
As I'm dreaming of your face.
I've been away for a long time,
Such a long time
And I miss you there
I can't imagine being anywhere else
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here
~…~
Tadashi didn't know how Hiro became the most important person in his life. He just had without him even noticing. Not that Tadashi had a problem with that. As a matter of fact, he didn't; he felt the opposite, he felt privileged and proud and happy that Hiro was in his life, was his best friend and closest companion.
Over the months since they had met, they had gotten closer. Hiro, it turned out, was in all of Tadashi's classes, which didn't really surprise him seeing as how he was taking the most difficult courses that were available at the school. It also so happened that Hiro had a passion and fascination with technology, much like Tadashi himself, and often spent his weekends and holidays creating robots and gadgets and all kinds of things that would take Tadashi weeks, if not months, to create. And they were all so interesting and sturdy; Hiro knew his stuff inside and out and he knew what made a good invention and what didn't. Of course he did; he was a genius after all!
Being in class with him was amazing. All of the things Hiro knew! And at such a young age! Aside from his vast knowledge, Hiro overall was just adorable and huggable. The way he would carry his books, most of them incredibly heavy and thick, how he had to poke his head around the stack in order to see where he was going just made Tadashi want to pull him into a tight hug and never let him go. And whenever Hiro had to stand on his chair so that his hand would be noticed when it was raised made Tadashi laugh and coo all at once. For all of his genius, how could Hiro not see how cute he was? Or was it just Tadashi?
Was Tadashi the only one who saw just how unique and incredible and amazing Hiro was? Hiro's aunt, Cass was her name, seemed to realize and understand how special he was, and the teachers and faculty at their school also seemed to realize this, but their peers? As time wore on, most of them had stopped teasing Hiro for his short stature and age, but there were still a few of them who just had to make Hiro's life miserable. Tadashi didn't like it, not one bit.
He didn't like seeing Hiro sad or upset or angry or hurt. He didn't like it when those big brown eyes, usually so full of curiosity and wonder and amazement, would dull or darken because of something someone had said about him. It was during those times that Tadashi tried his hardest to cheer Hiro up. If would bring a smile to his face and light up his eyes again, then Tadashi would do it or say it. Whatever it took to get Hiro out of his funk, he did without a moment's hesitation. Hiro was worth it.
Hiro was worth so much more.
And somehow, without Tadashi realizing it, his feelings, those that had been purely friendly and helpful, became something so much more. He often thought about Hiro, about something he did or said or had come up with overnight or over the weekend. He thought about how much he just wanted to have Hiro in his arms, to feel his smaller body pressed close to his, not doing anything, merely holding him as though he were a priceless jewel, and treasure that he didn't want anyone else to have. He thought of Hiro's eyes, his smile, his laughter, his youthful excitement, his childlike wonder, and his intellectual maturity. And he thought about how he would mind, not one bit, if things went beyond the realms of friendship.
That wouldn't be so bad. Being with Hiro, having him as a companion, a significant other, a lover. In fact, Tadashi bet it would be amazing. Hiro was already amazing, so being with him in an actual relationship would be nothing short of incredible.
But would that be something Hiro would want? He had just turned thirteen after all. Did he understand, fully and completely understand, things like romance and relationships? It was one thing to be book smart, but it was another thing to understand what one felt and even what feelings one was, well, feeling. Would Hiro be able to understand the things Tadashi felt for him? Could he comprehend Tadashi's need to be close to him all of the time? Could he understand that he was Tadashi's most important person, that Tadashi just felt so…whole and complete when he was around him? Did he understand that Tadashi wanted to protect Hiro, make sure that he was happy and healthy and safe and secure from all of the things the outside world could throw at him?
And if he did understand all of that, would he reciprocate Tadashi's feelings? Would he desire the same things Tadashi did? Would he feel the same need for closeness that Tadashi felt? Would he even want to? That very thought caused fear to surge throughout Tadashi's entire body. His feelings were so strong already, mere months after they first met, and he didn't know what would happen to his world if Hiro wasn't in it. It already felt as if they had known each other for a life time; how could Tadashi go back to a life without Hiro?
The answer was simple: he couldn't.
~…~
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don't think words can express your beauty
It's singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me
I fell in love from the moment we kissed
Since then, we've been history
~…~
Needless to say, the first time that they had ever kissed, Tadashi had been stunned, completely and totally stunned. Floored. Shocked, but pleasantly so.
They had been hanging out in Hiro's garage, the place where he did most of his work on his projects, much to his aunt's chagrin. Tadashi had been looking over Hiro's shoulders as the boy worked on something and all he had been feeling was astonishment and awe at just how unlimited Hiro's mind was. Problems that took some scientists months, even years, to figure out, Hiro solved within minutes or seconds. Ideas for projects, inventions, and the like constantly flowed out of him and onto the screen as he typed.
Tadashi had never wanted to take Hiro into his arms and hold him so badly as he did right there. Hiro was just something else, but it was a great something else. And nobody got to see this side of him aside from Tadashi. He felt privileged and honored that Hiro was allowing him to get so close to him and Tadashi knew that he needed to be gentle, tender, warm, and loving. Being anything but could break the boy, and he had already been through so much (that was why he lived with his aunt; it was hard to live with parents who had passed away before he was old enough to even remember them). And it had just been him. Even being with his aunt, Hiro had been all alone, with no one who really understood him or encouraged him or given him the boosts that he needed to get the things he wanted done done.
Not until Tadashi met him, that is.
How Hiro is now, Cass had told him one night last night while Hiro was in the bathroom during diner, was not how he was before. He had changed. He had started to open up a bit more, had become more easily receptive to affection and had been showing more affection himself towards her, towards Tadashi. Cass' eyes had started to fill up with tears as she smiled at Tadashi and thanked him for helping her baby so much. It had made Tadashi's heart swell and when Hiro came back, all he wanted to do was tell Hiro that he cared for him, that he was Tadashi's most important person.
But he hadn't. He hadn't wanted to frighten Hiro or to make him retreat back into his shell.
As he looked over Hiro's shoulder, Tadashi felt a strong urge to say something, perhaps ask Hiro out on a date. Start simple and work his way up. Something, anything, to get Hiro to understand that Tadashi was interested in him and desired a relationship that went beyond that of just friends. But as he begun working up the courage to do so, Hiro turned his head to face him and their lips connected.
The first thought Tadashi had was, Oh, my God, this is happening. This is really happening! His second was that Hiro's lips were slightly chapped, but still soft and warm and sweet against his own, a perfect fit, like pieces of a puzzle. The third was that their faces had been closer than he had realized and that that had been a good thing. The fourth thought he had, and he had thought it too late, was that he really should be returning their accidental kiss. And his final thought was that he wanted to kiss Hiro again and again and again and that he didn't want to him pull away as he was.
Hiro didn't just pull away, though.
Summoning a strength Tadashi didn't even know Hiro possessed, he shoved Tadashi away from him hard enough for the older teen to stumble and fall on his butt. Looking up at the boy, he saw that Hiro's face was dark red and that tears were streaming down his face. He looked petrified and young and helpless…it broke Tadashi's heart. As Tadashi stood up and took a step towards Hiro, the young boy shook his head and pressed himself against his chair, which was pressed against his desk.
"No, no, no, no, no! You…you weren't supposed to find out! Not…not like this!" Hiro almost shouted, tears flying through the air as he shook his head back in forth in denial. Tadashi knelt in front of him, much like he had when they first met, and gently took hold of Hiro's trembling shoulders.
"What wasn't I supposed to find out, Hiro?" he asked, his voice soft, calming, relaxing. Hiro met his eyes and Tadashi saw a whirlwind of emotions within them; some of them good, some of them bad.
"You… I can't…You shouldn't…k-know," Hiro hiccupped and looked away from him, embarrassed. Tadashi cupped his face and pressed a soft kiss to Hiro's forehead.
"I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you. And I'll never laugh at you, either. So please…please tell me what it is," Tadashi asked him, his brown eyes meeting Hiro's.
Hiro sighed and then took a deep breath.
"Tadashi…I…I kind of…haveacrushonyou!" Hiro mushed his words together and then closed his eyes tightly, as though waiting for a blow. Tadashi didn't need him to repeat what he had said though; he had heard Hiro perfectly. And it made his heart light as a feather and caused it to soar to unimaginable places.
Tadashi pulled Hiro off of the chair and onto his lap, holding him closely, securely, and he was happy that Hiro hadn't tried to push him away. He nuzzled Hiro's soft, messy black hair and inhaled his sweet, innocent scent. Relief flooded his entire being as the boy's words sunk in. Hiro cared about him, Hiro cared about him, Hiro cared about him…
"Hiro, you have no idea how seriously happy I am that you feel the same way I do," Tadashi told him, his voice thick with happiness and joy, a deep laughter resonating from his chest as his entire body tingled with pleasant sparks. Hiro pulled away from him just enough so that they could look into each other's eyes.
"You…you are?" he asked, sounded so young and so vulnerable. Tadashi smiled at him, putting all of his love and happiness into it, and he was pleased to see the sadness and heartache and desire Hiro had been feeling begin to dissipate.
"Yes, Hiro, I am. Very, very happy," Tadashi reconfirmed before he kissed Hiro again, this time on purpose.
It was slightly sloppy; Hiro had had no practice or experience whatsoever, and neither had Tadashi, for that matter. But it was still perfect and everything Tadashi had thought it would be plus so much more.
~…~
It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of, and I
Can't fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake at night
And I'll fall in love, you'll fall in love,
It could mean everything, everything to me,
This could mean everything to me.
The way that we are,
It's the reason I stay
As long as you're here with me
I know I'll be okay
~…~
They didn't go all the way that night. They didn't make love. As much as Tadashi wanted to someday do that, he wanted it to be when they were both ready. He wanted it to be a day, an experience that they were both anticipating and looking forward to with excitement and unity and love.
He wanted Hiro to get comfortable with having someone be there with him all of the time, to support and comfort and nurture him when he needed it and even when he didn't' need it. He needed to be reassured that Tadashi wasn't going to go anywhere, that his age wasn't off-putting in any way, shape, or form. And, more importantly, Hiro needed to be reassured, needed to know without a doubt, without question, that he was loved. Truly and deeply loved.
Besides, there was no rush, none whatsoever. Tadashi knew that they had all of the time in the world. Hiro was more than worth waiting for and it wasn't as though they weren't ever going to kiss or make-out or anything. And he wasn't in it just for the physical aspect of it, either. He genuinely and truly loved Hiro. He wanted to be with him no matter what it took and he wanted to see him become everything that he could be. Great things lay ahead of Hiro in the future and Tadashi wanted to see him walk down that path with his head held high, with pride in his work and accomplishments and goals. And he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Hiro would make it.
Just like he knew that Hiro had his heart, he always had, since the day they first met. All of Tadashi's love was Hiro's because Hiro had his heart and he was perfectly okay with that. There was no escaping this amazing and magnificent bond that he and Hiro shared now. Even if there was an escape route, Tadashi wouldn't take it, not in a million years. He didn't even want to. These feelings that he had for Hiro were real and genuine and true and they weren't going to go away, not now, not ever. That really didn't matter though, because he had Hiro and Hiro had him.
As far as he was concerned, everything was perfect.
~…~
They say that love is forever
Your forever is all that I need
Please stay, please stay as long as you need
Can't promise that things won't be broken,
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are what my dreams are made of)
Please stay, please stay as long as you need
Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me
~…~
A/N: Did I forget to mention that in this…uh…mini-series, Tadashi and Hiro aren't related? Oopsies!