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The white, cold, and fragile tile lay underneath me. I spread my hands out on the tile, my delicate fingertips feeling the creases, the cracks, and just the little imperfections in the tile. My comfortable, warm, and inviting bed wasn't enough anymore. I lay against the tile on my back, the cold seeped into my skin, and Goosebumps were noticeable. The ceiling didn't have anything special to look at, but my eyes couldn't stay away. It was blank, just like me. Frustrated, hot, and unwanted tears fell from the corner of my eyes. Depression was the word to describe who I was, now. An unwelcomed hole formed in the base of my chest. Every minute of every day, the hole grew, and grew, and grew. Breathing wasn't as easy as before. Holding the secret that changed me, tore me a part, I couldn't save myself from…myself. A few short months ago, I wasn't like this. Laughter, innocence, and smiles completed my life. My eyes closed tightly, as I remembered what I use to be…

The sounds of continuous typing filled the room. That's all I did, was write. It was my passion. It what was I lived for. What I'd always wanted to do. Little short stories here and there, along with poems, poems that were written directly from the feelings of my soul, my innocent, and saint Clareish soul.

A brief laughter left my lips as I read the instant message from my current boyfriend, K.C.

Kcguth: I figured your affair was with your laptop.

Clarebear: My laptop caters to all my needs, unlike my boyfriend. ;)

Kcguth: ….

Clarebear: Don't be gross, K.C.

Kcguth: ;)

Clarebear: I'm about to sign off from you being a perv, say I won't. :D

Kcguth: you won't. You wouldn't dare.

I clicked the arrow down button, clicking the "sign off" button. It signed me off the chat, a slight smirk formed on my lips. I waited a few minutes before signing back on, just a little tease for him. I signed back in, while waiting to hear the noise of an instant message from KC, or anything. I continued with my paper. It was an essay for a writing competition. I was determined to win.

Kcguth: Clare Edwards has a wild side, oooo.

His sarcasm could be felt through the words. A smile was on my lips as I messaged back.

Clarebear: I'm a real badass.

Kcguth: Saint Clare used the word ass. What has the world come to?

I rolled my eyes at his message. Being called Saint Clare all the time at school, grew to an annoying point. The name was true, but that's beside the point.

Clarebear: The world has come to jerks like you.

Kcguth: hurtful with your words tonight, Clare.

Clarebear: This essay is calling me; I'll talk to you later.

I signed back off the chat, before completely closing off my ties with the social networking. I checked Face range, to see the latest on…anything. I didn't check it that often; I wasn't one for getting into drama. I clicked on KC's page, and analyzed it. Comments can either be private or public on Face Range, I think I discovered a comment that was meant to be private, but it was public. A blonde, pretty, and skinny girl commented on one of his statues, the status read, "Can't get her off my mind." The comment left by the girl was, "Can't get you off my mind, either. Having an affair is hot."

The comment was posted a few minutes ago, I refreshed the page to see if he responded, but by the time it refreshed her comment vanished, I couldn't believe my eyes. I never thought he'd cheat on me. Tears ran down my red cheeks, my cheeks were embarrassed by what a fool I was. I quickly closed out of his page and couldn't proceed on my essay. Thanks a lot, K.C. Guthrie.

That wasn't the secret; it was the start of something I didn't think would become a secret. Why tell it all now?

That stupid alarm clock noise filled the room. Even the noise didn't move me. My eyes still were concentrated on the ceiling. Sophomore year, the first day was today. I'd be going to school looking like a zombie. The usual Degrassi kids should be used to that. That's how I looked through my last month of freshman year. I lost…everything.

My hands pressed against the tile. I pushed myself off the ground, and back onto my feet. Lightly, I let out a sigh. Did it matter what I dressed in? Nothing would change the negative mood I had towards the new school. Sure, it was a fresh start, but starting fresh with no one? Was harder than it seemed, my best friend, Alli transferred to an all-girls school, leaving me stranded in the hallways of hell at Degrassi.

A new face would be nice. A person who didn't know what happened to me last year. Someone I didn't need to share, or speak to my past about, someone who just wanted to know who I was now, that'd be asking for too much, now wouldn't it?