"More Than Words"

Based on Blangstpromptoftheday #958:

Blaine's an affectionate person who thrives on personal contact. He knows Kurt is a private person and tries really hard to respect Kurt's renewed need for space/boundaries. He's trying not to be so needy/clingy but struggles, sometimes just wanting desperately to be held by someone. It's not until Mercedes complains to Kurt that his fiancé spends more time in her boyfriend's arms than she does that Kurt realizes there's something going on with Blaine.

"What movie are we watching tonight?" Blaine asked excitedly as Kurt returned to his spot on the couch. It was their movie night at Blaine's apartment tonight since Mercedes and Sam weren't at home, and Blaine had been waiting for this all week. He just wanted to curl up next to his fiancé and fall asleep after a calming movie. It was going to be perfect.

Kurt smiled, leaning against the arm of the couch. "One of your favorites. You'll see."

Blaine's heart warmed and he hummed contentedly, scooting closer and leaning into his fiancé's shoulder. He smiled when Kurt wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

They stayed like that for about twenty minutes before Blaine noticed Kurt starting to shift oddly beside him. He tried to adjust, hoping to make Kurt more comfortable. But Kurt kept shifting. And shifting. And shifting. Until finally Blaine sat up and looked at him, frowning in concern as Kurt paused the movie with a sigh. "What's wrong?"

Kurt shook his head. "It's nothing."

"No, it's not. You have that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The one that means you're annoyed but you don't want to hurt my feelings. So just tell me."

Kurt groaned, frustrated. "Fine. Look, we talked about this okay? I… I love you, but I need my space. Cuddling is fine when we're going to sleep, but it's hot in here and I can't stand all that extra body heat you put off."

Blaine scooted away a bit, looking like a kicked puppy. "I didn't realize I was smothering you."

"Blaine…"

"No, it's fine," Blaine stopped him. "I… I've been trying to give you space or whatever it is you need, but apparently I need to try harder. I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have to—"

"It's fine," Blaine repeated, shaking his head. He scooted to the other end of the couch, grabbing a pillow and resting his head on the arm of the couch. He refused to look at Kurt, curling up in a ball and hoping Kurt wouldn't see the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

Kurt woke up the next morning with a stiff neck after sleeping on the couch. Halfway through the movie, Blaine had gone to his bedroom, not saying a word to Kurt. The older boy had left it alone, hoping that whatever this was would cool down a bit by morning.

To his relief, when Blaine shuffled sleepily into the kitchen a few minutes later, he didn't seem upset with Kurt anymore. Smiling, Kurt walked up behind Blaine and hugged his waist, kissing his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Blaine said, smiling and turning his head to catch Kurt's lips in a chaste kiss that soon grew deeper. "Mm, love you so much," Blaine murmured against Kurt's lips.

Kurt smiled and turned Blaine's body, pressing him against the counter. Blaine took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Kurt's waist and squeeze, pulling him closer. He loved moments like this, where it was always perfectly acceptable to pull Kurt a little closer or ask Kurt to hold him a little tighter. He loved when he could just shamelessly beg for the extra bit of contact that he constantly craved. Although he didn't always want those intimately close moments to be sexual, he would take what he could get from his fiancé.

After a few moments, Kurt broke the kiss, smiling sweetly at Blaine. "I love you," he repeated, pecking Blaine's nose.

"I love you, too."

After that, Kurt thought they were fine.

Blaine was spending more and more nights at his shared apartment with Mercedes and Sam, trying desperately to give Kurt the space he so obviously needed at the loft. He hated the idea that he was smothering his fiancé. He didn't want to push him away when he was only trying to pull him closer. He couldn't bear to lose him, not again.

So he only visited the loft when Kurt asked him to, or when the entire group had dinner there. He hated not seeing Kurt as often, especially hated the absence of his comforting touch, but if that was the price he had to pay to keep Kurt from pulling away, then so be it.

Still, there were some nights that he just couldn't stand it. He would roll around restlessly at night until he finally fell into an equally restless sleep, which was polluted with nightmares. He never remembered what the nightmares were about when he woke up screaming, but it didn't matter, he supposed. Every time he woke up in a sobbing mess, Sam would burst into his room seconds later and try to soothe him.

He tried singing, massaging his back, holding his hand, and a few other things, but nothing seemed to work. On the third instance, though, Blaine finally worked up the courage and the clear-headedness to ask for the one thing he knew would help ease the nightmares.

Just as Sam was about to leave for his own room and ask Mercedes for help, Blaine latched onto his wrist to stop him. "Wait," he said weakly. "Please stay. Can you… um, can you just hold me for a little while? I think that would help."

Sam nodded. "Of course, dude. Whatever you need."

Blaine played the part of the little spoon from then on. Every time he had a nightmare, Sam would assume the same position as quickly as possible, cuddling his friend until he could fall asleep peacefully.

Finally, Blaine had the closeness he needed. Still, something was missing. Someone was missing, and that was Kurt. He needed Kurt to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

But for now, this would have to do. He didn't have a choice.

Blaine and Sam's little ritual had been going on for about two weeks before Kurt knew what was happening. He was enjoying a walk through the slightly chilled streets of New York with Mercedes when his friend spoke up.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that Sam spends more time cuddling your fiancé than he spends with me?" she asked, irritated. "They've been spending an awful lot of time together lately."

Kurt frowned, his steps faltering for a second before he continued walking. "What are you talking about? Blaine and I have never been happier. We've given each other space and I think we're starting to get back on track."

"Is that why he has nightmares every other night?" Mercedes raised a suspicious eyebrow at him. "Did you really not know?"

"I…" Kurt's eyes widened before he shook his head sadly. "He didn't tell me that."

Mercedes sighed, shaking her head sympathetically. "I really think you should talk to him. Sam can't always be the one to rush in there and comfort him when he can't sleep. He needs you to notice him at some point, Kurt."

Kurt opened his mouth to say something, that Blaine didn't need him. They weren't in that kind of relationship, where they depended on each other so much that they couldn't function without the other. But then Kurt remembered Blaine breaking down when he thought Kurt was going to leave him because he'd gained some weight. And he remembered how much it hurt to even think of not having Blaine in his life.

Maybe they didn't need each other in the sense that it was impossible to survive without the other by their side. But they needed each other. They couldn't do this alone.

"I'll talk to him," Kurt said.

He had a feeling this talk was going to involve a lot more than just nightmares.

Blaine startled a bit as the doorbell rang. He wasn't expecting anyone, and Mercedes and Sam weren't due back for two or three hours. Curious, he walked to the door, checking the peephole. He felt his heart pound with excitement and hope when he saw Kurt standing on the porch. He smiled and opened the door. "Hey, you," he greeted.

Kurt returned the smile, but it wasn't very enthusiastic. Blaine's heart sank. "Hey."

"I… I didn't know you were coming over. I thought you had plans with Rachel today."

"She understood that this is a lot more important right now. Not just right now. I…" he paused, as if deciding they shouldn't have this conversation in a doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," Blaine nodded, stepping aside. He frowned slightly. "You're always welcome here… What's wrong? Did something happen? Is your dad okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt said immediately. "My dad's fine. He's okay. That's not why I'm here. I just need to talk to you."

Blaine nodded, swallowing thickly as he followed Kurt into the living room and sat beside him on the couch. "So… what did you want to talk about?"

Kurt inhaled and exhaled shakily, reaching out to take Blaine's hand. "I love you. I want you to remember that, okay?"

"Okay…" Blaine's heart pounded uneasily. "Kurt, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"I just never want you to feel like you can't come to me for anything you need. Anything at all."

"Kurt."

"Sorry," he whispered. "The point is… Mercedes told me you were having nightmares. And that Sam has been sleeping in your bed."

Blaine's eyes widened. "I… it's not like that, I swear. I will never, ever cheat on you again. You have to believe me."

"Blaine, honey, calm down," Kurt said, cutting him off before he could finish the last sentence. "I believe you. I just… don't understand why you couldn't come to me for comfort when you were having nightmares. I told you that I would always be there for you, and that includes the times you need to call me in the middle of the night because you can't even close your eyes. That's always. Fearlessly and forever, remember?"

Blaine smiled slightly, still a little shaken from the panic of Kurt nearly assuming the worst. "I remember."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," Blaine shrugged, averting his gaze.

"Yes, you do," Kurt frowned. "Honey, please talk to me."

"I didn't want you to worry," he mumbled.

"I don't think that's it, either."

Blaine huffed, furrowing his eyebrows together as he stared at their linked hands. "I didn't want to push you away. I thought you needed your space. I thought I was smothering you."

I didn't realize I was smothering you.

Kurt remembered their pseudo-fight from a few weeks ago and his eyes widened. "Blaine…"

"You're doing it again," Blaine muttered.

"Doing what?"

"Feeling sorry for me. I'm not just some lost puppy you need to pity. I'm your fiancé. And I'd like to feel like it for a change."

"You don't?" Kurt asked, feeling as if he'd been punched in the stomach, unable to breathe. "Honey, no… That's… I would never want to make you feel like that, or like I don't love you. And you aren't smothering me. I'm sorry if I made it seem like that." Blaine bit his lip as it started to wobble, and Kurt gently cupped his cheek in his palm, bringing his head up so they were face-to-face. "Blaine, I love you. I will always love you. Yes, sometimes I need my space, but most of the time I need that space with you. It can get lonely sleeping in the loft all alone."

"So… I wasn't pushing you away?" Blaine asked in a small voice.

Kurt smiled, heart aching with the idea that Blaine could even think that. "Of course not. You couldn't do that even if you tried. I'm here to stay, I promise you."

Blaine threw his arms around Kurt, holding back tears as he nuzzled Kurt's shoulder. "I love you so much, Kurt."

"I love you, too. And, from now on, I'm going to be the one who keeps the nightmares away. I hate it when you wake up terrified like that." Kurt rubbed a hand up and down Blaine's back, kissing his shoulder tenderly.

"How can you do that when you live across town?" Blaine asked, sniffling.

Kurt smiled, holding Blaine closer and murmuring in his ear. "What if I didn't?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if you moved back in?"

Blaine startled back, staring at Kurt with wide eyes. "Really?"

Kurt laughed, grinning. "If you want to."

Blaine's smile shone brighter than every light in time square. "Yes," he breathed, elated. "Of course, yes."

"You make it sound like I proposed," Kurt teased.

"You might as well have," Blaine said softly. "You have no idea how much this means to me. I love you so much."

Kurt let out a soft sound of surprise as Blaine hug-tackled him.

Now, he knew for sure that they were okay. They were more than okay. And they both hoped it would stay that way for a while.