I came up with this after seeing a meme, and I didn't want to lose the idea, and I couldn't resist sharing it with you all. Sorry- I really should be trying to continue my other fics UwU" I'll update them soon (Maybe, lol) Anyways! Enjoy! There's a lot of pairings in this fic, and I apologize in advance if you don't ship it, or if it's your NOTP. I'll try not to focus on spamano too much either! (OTP 3 ) And, sorry this chapter is so short, the next ones will be longer, I promise! This is a fic packed full of smut! And different kinks. RxR and I hope you all like it! ^-^

A sexy contest among nations. Chapter 1

It all started at a world meeting. Everything began the same way as usual, France and England bickering over nonsensical things, Italy interrupting and successfully distracting Germany by being all over him, America speaking (yelling) over everyone, and Denmark climbing onto the table.

Yup. Sounds very...fun...

The trouble started when Hungary, Belgium and Japan began reading gay comics, or manga, if you'd rather. Greece became curious and peeked over, smirking at the sight he saw. Then Netherlands looked over, to see what his sister was looking at. The moment he saw the page, he made a disgusted face and shook his head solemnly. His sister was such a pervert.

"It's porn." Norway commented, having peeked over Hungary's shoulder. At that, all the nations turned to the three reading the book.

Japan became flustered and tried to hide the book, but Hungary grinned and nodded. "It's called yaoi. It's really good!" She snickered.

At that everyone's interest piqued. France stopped pestering England in favor of looking at this 'good' porn. He made his way to the other side of the table and scanned the page, a perverted smirk on his face a few seconds after.

Spain blinked a few times before looking at Romano, as if asking for permission to view the book. The latter rolled his eyes and waved him away. Understanding, Spain sprung from his seat and stood beside his french friend. "Hey! That one almost looks like Lovi!" He said happily.

That was a mistake. Before Romano had the chance to react to such a statement to a vulgar book, all the nations became thrice as curious and gathered around Hungary and the book.

"Ve~ it does look a lot like you, fratello!" Italy said excitedly.

"Oh damn! Spain, is that the same face he makes too?" Denmark asked, a smirk on his lips.

Spain only smiled, but everyone could see the malice in his eyes. Romano felt his cheeks getting hot and he sunk lower into his seat.

"So, does this mean Romano is like, totally a screamer?" Poland grinned as he glanced back and forth at Romano and the book.

"Ow! Ow! A-Anto-!" France yelped as Spain's grip on his shoulder became firm. Everyone ignored the two, in favor of a new and interesting topic for discussion.

"Whenever big brother Spain comes over, it's not really screaming..." Italy recalled, tapping his fingers on his chin. The group 'ooh'd', and continued talking amongst each other.

"Even if he was a screamer, Nor's totally louder, and sexier." Denmark said matter-of-factly. Norway immediately punched him in the gut, a light blush painting his cheeks.

"I dare say Arthur makes the most noise! He's the loudest there is!" France added. England's jaw dropped and he stared, shocked, at the frenchman.

"Nah, man! Kiku is not only a screamer, he's the kinkiest little shit in this room!" America winked as Japan blushed a deep shade of red and buried his face in his hands.

"Ve! I think the kinkiest is Luddy~" Italy chirped. Everyone nodded their heads, not doubting it for a second, much to Germany's horror.

Then, all of a sudden, the doors burst open. "Nien! If you're talking sexy, it's definitely Matthew!" Prussia cackled loudly. Canada was now glad no one ever noticed him.

"Bruder, I told you to go walk around town to pass the time-" Germany murmured exasperatedly.

"All of you guys are wrong. The sexiest is definitely Lovi. Trust me, one moan from him is enough to make you all jizz in your pants." Spain grinned. Romano blushed up to his ears and glared at the spaniard.

However, before any other words were able to be uttered, Hungary slammed her fist onto the table. Everyone turned to her as she recomposed herself. "I think..." She cleared her throat. "We should have a contest!" She said loudly.

Belgium's eyes lit up and she clapped. "Yes! To see which uke– I mean– bottomer is the sexiest, or kinkiest, or loudest!" She exclaimed. Hungary nodded.

"Yeah! And the seme– toppers, too!" She said excitedly.

At first, everyone was quiet. Romano and England throwing death-glares at Spain and France. Daring them to agree with the outrageous game. Suddenly, Denmark's hand slammed on the table and he pointed at Sweden, who sat in his seat throughout the entire meeting. "I challenge you, Ber!" He shouted determinedly. Sweden glared pointedly and after a long silence, he nodded.

Yup. Nodded.

After that, Prussia laughed loudly and pointed to his younger brother. "I challenge you, West! See who's got the better game!" He winked and smirked. "And you two! It's a hell of a lot more fun if you're in this too!" He pointed to France and Spain, who were smiling nervously. England and Romano seething with rage beside them.

Romano's frown deepened, and he looked at Prussia angrily. "Fuck no. We're staying the fuck out of this. Right, Antonio?" He turned to Spain, who chose to play with his thumbs.

"Ve~ scared Luddy might be better than big brother 'Toni?~" Italy snickered from across the room. Everyone gasped and the room went silent.

Romano, however, stood from his seat, his teeth clenched and his hands balled up in fists. "What the fuck, Feli!? You little shit!-"

"He must suck in bed, huh? Or is it you?~" Italy teased, the atmosphere in the room growing tense.

Romano seethed, and he picked up the nearest coffee mug, hurling it toward his brother. "Shut the fuck up! We'll show you! Antonio's the shit in bed!"

Everyone stared aghast at what the South italian had just admitted. Spain on the other hand, gave a smug look to the younger italian and winked.

Realizing what he just said, Romano gasped and turned the reddest anyone, especially Spain, has ever seen. He turned and quickly waltzed out of the room, Spain following closely behind.

Italy, who had been hiding behind Germany the entire time, sighed in relief and giggled. "Yay!~ Fratello's playing!~" Italy squealed in delight.

Hungary nodded and took out a pen and began writing on a piece of paper. "Alright! So we got Spain and Romano in this! I'm very curious to find out how this turns out!" She pondered. Belgium nodded happily.

"Oh for goodness sake! We're joining too!" France said as he raced out of the room before England could throw a punch at him.

"Wanker! Get back here!" England shouted and chased after him.

Hungary grinned and returned to writing on her paper. "Alright! France and England also!" When she was done, she tucked it back into her purse and stood up. "I say the first challenge be who is the sexiest at seducing and who's the best at it!" Hungary proudly proclaimed.

Denmark agreed happily and pulled Norway close by the waist. "Make me proud, baby!" To which he was answered with a swift punch to the cheek.

That was the start of a very...strange (and sexy)...contest.

To be continued~