So this is my new story. Lose Yourself. It's kinda dark, I know, and it'll get darker later but right now Im in a kinda dark mood. I kno it's kind of like my other stories but it does have its own certain twist and I really think this story could be my new baby lol so please review and let me know what you think.
Oh, and if you don't like the mention of drugs, don't read. I'm warning you now. I own nothing but Peyton.
It was midnight and everyone in the small town of Ipswich was fast asleep. Everyone except for one person, me. Peyton Cooper. Instead of being fast asleep in bed, I was standing on the edge of a bridge, looking down at the rushing water below me. It was about a thirty foot fall and I knew that standing on this edge was dangerous; if I fell, there was no way that I would come back. And that's the thought that comforted me the most. I wouldn't have to feel any more sadness, loneliness, any pain. With one quick fall, I could end it all. I took a deep breath and prepared to fall when my phone rang in my pocket, Let You Down by Three Days Grace playing loudly in the quiet night. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked down at the caller I.d. Chipmunk flashed across the screen. He always did have perfect timing.
"Hi Jon." I said softly, giving a small cough to cover up the fact that I had been crying.
"You alright Pey?" Jon's warm voice asked. Of course he would notice something wrong.
"I'm fine. Just tired." I told him.
"Did I wake you up?" He asked.
"Since when do you ever care?" I asked, making him laugh softly.
"Very true. But with the time difference…." Jon's voice trailed off.
"It's only two hours." I said.
"So can you talk or do you want to go to bed?" Jon asked me. This was weird, he always tried to get me to talk to him.
'I wanna jump off this bridge' I said to myself but out loud I told him I would like to talk. I looked at the bridge one last time before walking away and heading north to Spenser Academy where my dorm was completely empty and waiting.
"So how are you liking your new school?" He asked.
"I hate it." I told him. "I hate everything here."
"It'll get better. I'm sure you'll hook up with a guy real soon." He said and even though I tried to fight it, I couldn't help but laugh.
"You know there's only one guy I think about." I said and all joking was completely lost from the conversation. Before moving to Ipswich, I had had this thing for Jon and I thought he did too, until he asked out my worst enemy and my best friend. I had closed myself off and that's where my suicidal thoughts started. I looked down at my arm where a years worth of scars stood out and sighed.
"I'm sorry Peyton." Jon said with a sigh. "I tried, I really did it's just…"
"I know." I said, though I didn't understand. I didn't understand how I could've had those feelings for a year and no matter how much I talked to him, confided in him, let him know how I felt, he couldn't even return a part of those feelings.
"Don't say that, you don't." Jon said.
"Yeah I do, everything's fine." I told him, which was a clear notice that I wasn't fine.
"Don't. What's wrong Peyton." Damn him, he ruined the best chance that I had at leaving this life and now he was going to bug me about it.
"Nothing." I told him as I walked into the Spencer dorm building.
"Peyton." Jon tried again.
"I've gotta go. Bye." I hung up the phone and turned it on silent before tossing it into my pocket and walking upstairs to the second floor. There, I walked down the hall and stood outside room 217 and fished out the key from my pocket. I quickly unlocked the door and threw the key on my desk before face planting onto my bed. I hissed in pain as my side started throbbing. I pulled up the shirt to reveal a dark bruise taking up my entire left side.
"Thanks dad." I muttered under my breath as I moved into a more comfortable position and quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.
The next morning, I woke up to find that the sun was shining brightly through my half open curtains. Damn it, I should've shut them last night before I fell asleep. I took out my phone and saw that Jon tried calling me five more times before deciding to text me until five thirty. I didn't look at any of the messages and closed out of the notice to check the time. Six forty five. Classes started at seven thirty. I walked over to my closet and pulled out my uniform and slipped it on. I had to adjust it a little so the bruises on my legs weren't visible at all. I quickly did some makeup to hide the bruises around my eyes and sat down on my bed.
Sighing, I opened my bedside drawer and pulled out a small baggie filled with a green substance, a lighter, and my hitter. I took the substance out of the baggie and packed it into the hitter before lighting it and taking in the very strong smoke a few times before holding it all in for a few seconds and letting it out, coughing in the process. One thing I learned when I first started, it hurts to cough but when you do, it means your getting so much higher. I waited a few seconds for repeating the process, coughing harder than before. I instantly felt myself starting to relax more and become slightly light headed. I finished off what I had packed into the hitter before dumping the remains in the toilet and flushing it. I walked back into my room and lit up a cigarette as I opened the window and febreezed my room. As I took a drag on my cigarette, I noticed that my tongue felt numb, as though the nicotine was coating it. I smiled as I recognized the first sign that today would be a numb day. Once my cigarette was completely out, I sprayed body spray all over and grabbed my backpack, stumbling slightly as I walked out into the hallway.
I noticed a lot of people were hurrying on their way to class and rolled my eyes. If they all just smoked a blunt before class, they would be as calm as I was. I walked out of the dorm building and down toward the school which wasn't so far away. I stumbled most of the way, my legs feeling as though they were asleep. Once I made it in, I walked over to my first class of the day, English Literature. I made my way over to my seat slowly and took a seat just as the bell rang. I felt someone plop down beside me and looked over to be met by a blonde boy with intensely blue eyes. I remembered him. His name was……what was it?
"Reid Garwin." The blonde introduced himself. So that was his name.
"Peyton." I answered simply and looked back up at the teacher, moving my head quickly which wasn't the smartest thing, I realized, as the room started spinning before me. My hand shot up to my head, holding it as I tried to steady my vision.
"Are you alright?" Reid asked me. God his voice was so attractive.
"'m fine." I told him though the room continued to spin. Another boy sat down on my other side, this one had dark brown hair and lighter blue eyes than Reid. I knew him too and his name was…
"Tyler Simms." Tyler introduced.
"Peyton." I said. My other hand moved to my chest and I could feel my heart beating quickly under my super hot skin.
"You alright?" Tyler asked. His voice was so warm and soft, like honey. I liked it.
"Fine." I muttered as the teachers voice went on. His voice sounded weird, like I was submerged in water and he was above, talking down to me.
"Are you sure?" Reid asked. "You seem out of it."
"I said I'm fine." I snapped at him. It didn't work very well because my head felt like it was going through a wind tunnel but he seemed to get the message and leave me alone for the rest of the class. When the bell rang, my head throbbed slightly and I got up, a little too quickly, and almost fell but Reid caught me.
"Thanks." I said and left as quickly as I could. I knew that by the time school was over, I'd have to light up again. I went through three more classes before disappearing into the bathroom near the lunch room. I picked this one because there was a window next to the end stall. I opened it up and took a small blunt out of my bag and sparked it. I inhaled the smoke like I had done before and coughed almost instantly. I could hear the conversations drifting into the bathroom from the lunchroom and held my head with my free hand. It seemed so loud and all the voices drifted together, sounding like the teacher's had. I inhaled again and coughed, harder this time. Ten minutes later, I flushed what was left and walked out of the stall, swaying as I did. I smiled and turned to the mirror, a frown instantly taking over. You could somewhat see the bruises and I knew that they'd probably get more visible later, they always did. The cover up didn't cover that well, I knew I had to buy more.
I walked out of the bathroom just as the bell rang and immediately went to my gym class. I told my teacher that I felt sick and she let me sit out of tennis, which I silently thanked because I had tried playing tennis high once before and that didn't end very well. After gym, I headed to Spanish and after that was over, I headed over to my last class of the day. Chemistry. Great, now I could blow something up. I sat at a lab table and when I looked up, I saw the blonde from before sit next to me. Damn it…..What was his name again. I know he told me…..
"Reid." I said out loud and he looked at me.
"Yes?" He asked with his cute voice again. Hell, his voice sounded like an angel's. I loved it. I reached over and put my hand on his cheek. He looked confused and I just smiled at him. A few awkward seconds passed and I dropped my hand and turned to the front. The teacher told us about a lab that we were going to perform the next day. He said that it was very dangerous and that we'd have to be careful and pay very close attention to what we were doing. Apparently I wouldn't be smoking up before Chemistry tomorrow. When the bell rang, I gathered up my stuff and walked out of the class, Reid following behind me.
"Peyton." He called as he put his hand on my arm and stopped me. I stumbled back a little and turned to look at him. "What was that in class?"
"Nothing. Forget it." I said as I continued to walk. I got outside and Reid stopped me again. I shut my eyes, the sun hurting them badly. When I opened them again, Reid was looking down at me.
"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked worriedly.
"Your voice is really nice." I told him. "It's very calming. I love it." Reid just looked down at me strangely and then looked into my eyes.
"You're eyes are completely bloodshot." Reid stated, mostly to himself. Fuck, I forgot to put visine in this morning.
"So what?" I asked him as I stumbled back a little. He studied me for a second before realization dawned on him.
"Your high, aren't you?" He asked me.
"So what? Why should you care?" I asked defensively. "You going to tell the provost?" I rolled my eyes and turned around a little too quickly and fell back. He caught me and helped me into a sitting position on the small bench. The world continued to spin for a few minutes and I felt his eyes on me the whole time.
"Reid." Someone called from behind us. I spun around to look and saw a boy with tanned skin and brown eyes coming toward us. He looked down at me and smiled. "Hi, I'm Caleb." The guy said.
"Ok." I muttered, putting my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. I could hear Caleb's muffled whispers and Reid responding to him.
"Peyton. Peyton, look up at me." I looked up and looked directly into Caleb's eyes. They were a warm brown, like chocolate.
"Your eyes are pretty." I told him. "So chocolatey." He looked at me oddly and sighed, shaking his head.
"Why are you doing this stuff?" Caleb asked. I stood up angrily and pushed him away as I started back for the dorms.
"Peyton." I heard both of them calling my name but I ignored it as I stumbled back to the dorms. I achingly climbed the stairs and opened my door once I could manage to get the key in the lock.
"Hey." I turned around and spotted a guy with curly brown hair starting for me. "Aaron Abbot."
"Goodnight." I said as I walked into my room and slammed the door in Aaron's face. I locked the door behind me and quickly stripped off the uniform and slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. I floated down onto my bed and fell into a blissful sleep.
So what did you think? I know I didn't get very descriptive on some things, or maybe too descriptive for some. And before you ask, yes I know what i'm talking about with the whole weed thing so i'm not just using the media's take on it and playing it up. I'm telling it how it is, at least, for me.