It was a lovely day in New York City. Spawn, sitting in Spawn Alley, relaxed atop his throne of skulls.
"Ah," he said, "what a lovely day to battle the forces of Hell, which I happen to be one of."
Suddenly, the tell-tale click click click of heels approached the alleyway. "WHAT?" bellowed Spawn, "Someone dares disturb lair of solitude?"
"That's right, hamburger face," said a feminine voice with attitude, "I'm here to kick your demon ass." Out from the shadows stepped a lithe, athletic 5 foot 9 figure of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "Isn't that right, Willow?" she asked her companion, also stepping out of the shadows.
Willow waved. "I like Ellen Degeneres and listen to KD Lang."
Spawn grimly responds by firing a plasma bolt at the red-haired sidekick, but Willow quickly used her witch powers to deflect the blast. Buffy, quickly taking advantage of Spawn's unreadiness leapt into the air and landed upon his chest with a solid kick. Spawn went toppling backwards into a dumpster.
"Ah, fuck! You little bitch!" cursed Spawn.
An unannounced flash and swirl of colors heralded the sudden arrival of Wolverine, who quickly sliced Buffy into two even pieces with his adamantium claws.
"Anyone else, bub?" he stated grimly.
Meanwhile, in another part of Earth, the Masakai household was alive with activity. Ryoko and Ayeka were fighting, Sasami was cooking in the kitchen as Ryo-ohki watched on, and Mihoshi was watching Mol Diver. In another part of the household, Washu's lab to be exact, the diminutive Scientific Genius looked worried. She quickly tapped on her holo-computer to bring up as much data as she could gather. Washu studied the readings and began to speak to Lex Luthor. "This is very strange... dimensional pressure building. Apparently, due to the influx of cosmic radiation being intensified via the sunspots of this solar system, the dimensional coefficient is exponentially decreasing, weakening the barrier between the various universes." Washu's face fell slightly as she continued to explain. "If this universal instability continues, the multiverse as a whole will begin to experience a quantum abnormality in its singularity quotient, and thus we will experience multiversal compression and all the universes will combine into one, causing all individuals within each universe to be in dangerous proximity! We will continue to experience these... crossovers, if you will, until either the instability is stopped or the Earth contracts into a reverse Big Bang. Oh... and the dead are being brought back to life."
Outside the Tenchi shrine, Yosho and Kiyone quickly worked to dispatch the zombie hordes. Kiyone fired off several laser rounds at the undead monsters, while Yosho leapt from zombie to zombie, slicing them cleanly in two with strokes from his masterful bokken. After many hours of this, the zombies of the Masaki shrine were all dispatched with. Breathing heavily, the two combatants turned to each other slowly. Their heads tilted upwards ever so slightly, so that their eyes met perfectly. The two slowly stepped towards each other, and in the time it takes for a heart to beat once, the two were in each other's arms, mouths slowly moving towards one another to lock together in perfect harmony.
Meanwhile, in Sydney, Australia, Gigantor and Godzilla grappled. Gigantor gained the upper hand and through Godzilla onto a large housing district, killing millions of people. Godzilla leapt to his feet, and immediately picked up his giant shotgun and fired it at Gigantor, sending him flying back into the Atlantic Ocean, causing massive tidal waves at some other place.
Back in Spawn Alley, the lone survivor of the epic combat stood victorious, picking her teeth with one of the adamantium claws of the slain Wolverine. Spawn lay pinned to the wall, dead, by 40 arrows. Willow walked out of the alley, commenting to no one in particular, "I enjoy the work of Anne Heche." Willow surveyed the streets of New York. Zombies roamed the streets, attacking the civilian populace. In the middle of it all, pushing aside Zombies and hysterical citizens alike, stood a menacing figure from the alien species known simply as Predator. The Predator states in his native tongue, "You are my prey and will die." With a SCHINK his shoulder cannon armed. Standing at the other end of the road, aware of the vile hunter's presence, stood the voluptuous millionaire archaeologist Lara Croft. Water dripping off of her skin tight wet suit, the agile and intelligent adventurer stood ready to face her adversary. Her saturated outfit accentuated every curve of her body, from her firm and ample bosom to her shapely buttocks, each water
droplet falling from her braided pony tail showing how truly sexy she was. Her muscular physique hefted an M-16 assault rifle which she loaded an ammo cartridge into with a "click." Lara lowered the rifle at her opponent. "Tea Time." she stated coolly with her British accent, each word sounding like music to the soul, each sultry syllable pronounced with exceeding clarity. Willow, standing on the sidelines, looked at Lara approvingly.
In Kansas, Mulder and Scully drove along in their car. "The Truth is Out There, Scully." said Mulder.
Scully sighed and responded, "Yes, Mulder, I know, but this so-called alien crash site must have a scientific explanation."
"We will see Scully, we will see..." The FBI-issued car slowed and pulled into a backroad that lead into the depths of the woods. The car rumbled along the dirt road. Suddenly, a figure in the darkness ran out. Mulder screamed, "Holy Shit!" and swerved the car out of the way. The car sputtered to a stop, and Fox and Dana quickly stepped out of the car to investigate. They looked over into the darkness where the figure was, and saw a cigarette be lighted. Stepping into the path of the headlights illuminated the figure. Both Scully and Mulder drew their sidearms and pointed it at the figure. The man, who was not the person the pair had been expected, was dressed in a suit and had a large spike of black hair. He is Vegeta.
Vegeta grinned and laughed his merciless laugh. "So we meet again, Fox Mulder."
"What?" exclaimed the agent, "I've never seen you before in my life."
"You find me so easy to forget? I am the one who abducted your sister, since I am a Saiyan... and YOUR FATHER!"
"Nnnnoooooooo!" yelled Mulder. Scully raised her gun and fired at Vegeta, but the bullets simply bounced off. Vegeta, is response, raised his hand and with a quick energy blast disintegrated Scully into nothingness, like a giant foot kicking a tiny bug.
"RRRAAGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Mulder. Around him, the landscape changed. Pebbles lifted off the ground, the earth shook, and trees fell. Raw chi energy coruscated around his body, illuminating the area brightly and shredding his clothing. The gun in his hand melted like sticky marshmallows in a campfire. His hair arced up into a flurry of points, and flashed into blondness. His eyes flashed before turning blue. "You killed my sister and partner, who I secretly loved... now you die!" Raising his hand, Mulder shot a gigantic energy blast at Vegeta, who was vaporized instantly. The landscape quickly calmed, leaving Mulder breathing heavily. Another figure, much shorter than the one before, stepped out of the shadows. "Good job, Mulder. My name is Washu... I am sorry about your partner, but you still have much work ahead of you. Come with me..."
Washu stood in front of the large group of men and women they had been assembling over the past 3 years. First they had gotten Mulder the super Saiyan who was full of rage and prepared for the battle that lay ahead. Then she found the lovely Lara Croft who she had taken from her home in London living with a witch named Willow who was also there. Lara had been taken to the Dagoba system to be trained in the Jedi arts by the master Yoda. Lara stood there in a skin tight wetsuit with a brown cloak over it with a green light saber in hand. Next to her was Willow her roommate apparently and best friends since her and Lara were always running off with each other. Next to Willow was Tenchi and thing had not been going to well for good old Tenchi. When Washu went to Dagoba, a Borg cube had attacked them and Tenchi had been captured and assimilated. Washu had cut him off from the collective but could not remove the implants. So Tenchi was left being a kind of cyborg. But he was willing to join the fight that was ahead. Next to him was maybe the most powerful of them all they called him Pooh Bear. But he had changed a lot since Washu had visited him. The evil Tiger who was once his friend had captured him and Washu brought him into our world to help. But then Tiger went bad. And almost killed his friend by lining the stuffing that made up Pooh's insides with a metal called Adamantium. This would have killed him had his friend Eeyore (a CEO of a major software firm) called in the X-Men for help and saved Pooh's life. Now having trained with the X-Men he was more then ready for combat.
Washu looked over her chosen fighters and nodded happily "Oknow you all know you have been chosen to save the world and you all know why you have been chosen. And you all know who you will be fightingso go out and do it! But first we need to go over how the world has changed. Not all of you may know." A map of the world popped up out of thin air. "Ok the whole U.S.A has been over run Zombies so we know that he won't be there. Keanu Reaves now rules the rest of the world besides Asia with an iron fist. Acting classes and hair gel forced on all. Now as for Asia that is that has be over run by Ewoks making it safe for anyone unless your driving a AT-ST or wearing thick heavy armor. So where will he attack.." Washu stood there thinking hard. She stuck her finger up in the air as if she had figured it out. "I have figured it out! The man causing all this "crossing over " is in fact on the moon that now has a great city on it populated by McDonalds employees and frogs. He must be there." Willow stepped out of line and said "umm Washu, who are we fighting again?" Washu tilted her head and looked at the young red head "Well Pikachu is doing it. A Pikachu is a small yellow thing that can shock you. But this one has figured out how to open gates to other worlds and bring what ever it wants to into our world. This one is pure evil and very smart. It can even talk. So you must go to the moon and destroy it! Now go! And good luck! Yes Pikachu's clever plan well be stopped!" and with that the group of 5 stepped into a portal and was on their way to the Moon.
With a green poof the 5 figures stepped out of a blue portal all ready to fight. Lara came out first and turned on her light saber. The others drew their weapons as well. Pooh readied his Honey Pot Projector, which shot empty honey pots at light speed. Mulder turned in to his super Saiyan form ready to fight. Willow readied a fireball in her hand. And Tenchi charged up his laser gun, which was his arm. They al looked around the now ruined city and saw the dead frogs laying about and far off at the end of the street stood the small yellow form. A black lighting forming around him. He said in a deep evil voice "HAHAHA! Welcome my friends. I am ready to let my plan go and my plan is" Pooh Bear stepped forward and yelled, "Shut up you damned little yellow thing! I will kill you! You piece of shit!" he let off a volley of honey pot, which struck a shield of lighting and broke. "hahaha! You can not destroy me. I will destroy you." The little mouse like thing shot a huge black shock right at the bear causing a burst of silver stuffing to spray everywhere. "No Pooh Bear!" Tenchi charged at him yelling "I would rather die than allow any one of them to come to harm!" but a huge Romulan blade decapitated Tenchi. "Ha! You can not harm my master!" the tall Romulan stood there holding a 12-foot long blade that was struck by a green Light Saber. Lara took an angry slash at the Romulan and almost hit him. Willow let go of the fireball and tossed it at the yellow being and made it burst into flames and turned into ashes. The Romulan turned around "No!" he was then cut in half by Lara and green blood went everywhere. Willow looked over at Lara and smiled winking "ready to go home hun?" Lara put her lightsaber back in her cloak "indeedI am in the mood for somerest." she smiled and opened a blue portal and let Willow go in first she then walked in after her smiling all the way.
THE END
Ok that's my happy little story hope you enjoyed!!! And by the way I would like to thank Dave for writing about the first half of this.