A/N: Very messy post "Goodbye" drabble. I had a lot of feels and a lot of ideas, so this happened.
Just a Shirt
When she meets her fathers at the hotel, they immediately pull her into their arms. Rachel cries all over again. But that's the last moment she thinks about Finn while in New York. The trip is a whirlwind of NYADA and Broadway shows and vegan restaurants. It's loud and bright and everything she ever dreamed of. They visit the dorms on their second day, and the rooms are really cramped. But it's so New York and absolutely what she wants.
That night she logs onto the NYADA website and submits her preferences. She starts thinking about how long it will take her to get to the class buildings two blocks down from her top choice dorm, and that turns into timing the distance to the nearest subway stop. Then she starts thinking about Quinn, and the relatively small distance between New York and New Haven. She thinks about the tickets at home pinned proudly to her bulletin board. Then she's searching for Metro North, and, wow, those tickets are expensive.
And Quinn Fabray spent that kind of money on her.
The next day, they visit the NYADA bookstore, and Rachel begs her fathers for a shirt and stationary. They happily pay for the items and try to take the second shirt from her arms. She pulls back and purchases Quinn's NYADA shirt on her own to the sight of her fathers' perplexed smiles.
She thinks about Finn as they fly back to Lima. She swallows heavily, but no tears fall. She tells herself it's because the air on the plane is so dry.
It's Quinn who shows up on her doorstep the day after they've returned home. Not Kurt. Not Tina. Just Quinn armed with vegan ice cream.
And that's what makes Rachel cry.
She forgets about the shirt then, and when she remembers, she decides it's not the right time to give it to Quinn. It's just a shirt, but it feels like more.
She sees Quinn almost every day. They don't talk about Finn or Puck or Joe. They talk about the coming fall semester and relive their favorite songs. They swap novels and watch mindless TV. They shop for dorm supplies and dream about their careers.
Rachel hangs on to Quinn's NYADA shirt. It sits in an off-white gift bag tied with a green ribbon in her room. It's just a shirt, but she's waiting for the right moment. Whatever that moment may be.
When Quinn mentions visiting Beth with Puck, the floodgates open. They talk about Finn and Puck. They talk about boys, but always—always—in the past tense. Because Quinn loves Puck enough to help inspire confidence, but she's not in love with him. Rachel thinks of Finn at times, but there are train tickets to New Haven in her room. And a shirt from NYADA waiting to be given to her someone significant with a tag that reads size small and not XL.
It's the happiest summer of her life. She's free. Her own person. Being just Rachel with infinite possibilities at her fingertips. Being RachelandFinn was a constant battle of two to be a single entity—only one personality, one passion could survive.
Rachel is uninhibited and unencumbered.
As Rachel, the looks she has always exchanged with Quinn promise more. As Rachel, the graze of a hand against soft skin and the small smiles shared over secret jokes promise too. They promise Rachel and Quinn.
Finally, as July turns to August, and the endless summer nights become numbered, Rachel gives Quinn the NYADA shirt. She happens to be wearing her own version of that shirt at the time. She didn't plan it that way. It just happened.
Quinn opens the gift bag and pulls out the shirt with a soft smile. But then Quinn looks at her, really looks at her, and she asks to switch.
"You want mine?" Rachel says confusingly.
"Yes. Yours," Quinn says, stepping in close. Her hands hover at her sides, and Rachel nods.
Quinn gently pulls the shirt off over her torso, and then hands her the new one. Rachel's aware of Quinn's eyes on her the entire time she tugs on the unworn shirt. Once she's redressed, she meets that gaze, and she's the one to take the step forward.
"It's not just a shirt," Rachel says.
"No, it's not," Quinn agrees.
This time, they meet halfway as Rachel and Quinn.