A/N: Hello! So, as some of you are aware, I do have two other stories that are unfinished. The first one, I've pretty much abandoned and I will be removing it soon. Sorry. The second, I do want to continue, but sadly, I have been having trouble writing the next chapter, especially with school going on. Somehow, though, I've had a sudden inspiration thanks to the recent Sly Cooper: The Movie trailer. After skimming through fanfics and fanart, I've decided to add my own to the mix!

Also, I'm still debating on the story title. I feel the current one is a bit cheesy (fitting for Sly Cooper, but meeehhhh). If anyone can think of anything better, let me know!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper

Baldur von Dittmar: a former German military general. After trying to take over a military operation, he was stripped of his title and excommunicated from the military. Ever since his disgrace at the military, he's been amassing his own army, one he has promised the world to. But with his current age, he wouldn't be able to handle a hostile takeover. He recently "confiscated" a very valuable glass bottle from a black market trader from Spain. Supposedly, the water it contains is from the Fountain of Youth. The old badger was a force to be reckoned with back in the day, and it seems he wants his glory days back.

I don't really believe in something as ridiculous as the Fountain of Youth, but either way, I'm stealing that bottle. The container alone is worth thousands, and, if we find the right suckers, we could get millions for the water.

Besides, what's more fun than stealing from a paranoid old coot?

"I dunno, Sly. The general hasn't skimmed on security."

I smirked into my binocucom, making sure Bentley saw my amusement, "Oh c'mon, Bentley. I've snuck through tighter. Just make sure Murray makes his cue and gets back to the van without anyone noticing. Gotta make the rendezvous."

Bentley sighed, his eyebrows coming together. "I know, I know. I'm just worried. Our plans have a habit of going wrong..."

I rolled my eyes, "But we always come out on top. Listen, I'm about to get into position. Relax, okay?"

Without waiting for a response, I cut the connection, pulling the binocucom away from my face. Crouching on the spire of a cathedral, I could see all of Cologne. The German city really is beautiful at this time of night. There were lights everywhere, reflecting off of the Rhine like stars. It makes me wish I was here with Carmelita on a date instead of stealing a fancy bottle. Not that the fox isn't here. The Inspector has a habit of figuring out where I am. Well, which city at least.

I remember seeing her this afternoon at a café. She was drinking tea with one hand and holding her gun with the other. I swear she knew I was there! But she never saw me, and I stayed at a comfortable distance. If I wasn't in the middle of a mission, I would've donned a disguise and played waiter.

With one swift movement, I leaped off of the spire, whipping out my Paraglider as I fell. Lazily, I glided down to a telephone wire and lightly ran across it, quickly stuffing my glider back in my pack. I ran along the wire for a bit before hopping off to hitch a ride on a sail boat. The captain was none the wiser as he steered me closer to the bridge. With a strong jump, I grabbed onto the edge and hoisted myself up, being careful not to click my cane against the stone. Even at this hour, Dittmar's guards were patrolling his mansion. Luckily, the one watching this bridge had his back to me, so I was able to knock him out with my cane.

I snuck closer to the mansion, stealthily avoiding the bears that carried their flashlights and large guns. The brutes were huge and wore military uniforms. Although, they looked more like mercenaries. Hiding behind some bushes, I pulled out my Binocucom and looked around. "C'mon Murray...where are you?" , I whispered.

As if he had heard me, the familiar pink shape of my longtime friend appeared around the corner of the mansion. He was wearing a pretty convincing military uniform, and he even carried an axe to make him seem more believable. I zoomed in on the hippo, listening in through his communicator as he approached the guard watching the front entrance.

"Hallo, friend! Nice night, huh? Pretty clear."

"Oh, ja. Nice."

"You know, it sure is a shame to have to stand here guarding where there's so much nightlife to check out."

"Ja... I vanted to go to a night klub, but I'm schtuck here inshted."

"You know what, pal? I'll take your shift for ya! You really deserve a night off."

"Really? Dat's vunderful! Danke!"

"Eh, it's no problem really. Just...helping out a comrade, right?"

I couldn't believe he bought it. Murray hardly even tried to sound German! But sure enough, I see the guard run off while Murray takes his place. With a quick look around, I ran over to him.

The pink hippo gave me a huge grin. "Did you see that? I was totally owning it! I channeled my inner German and Bam! Instant victory!"

I chuckled and patted him on the shoulder, "Nice job Murray. Make sure not to stand here too long. Need you to warm up the van."

My burly friend smiled and nodded, opening the front door for me so I could slip inside. He closed it after me, already playing guard. Adjusting my grip on my cane, I snuck down the hallway, making sure to check the corners before I pass them. At one point, I saw a guard walking towards me from the end of the hall. Before his light could reveal me, I shimmied up a banner and hooked my cane on the lights hanging above. There's a soft clink, but the guard doesn't notice it, walking right under me without a clue. As soon as he's past, I deftly swing down and make my way further down the hall.

I check a few doors before I find the one I needed. It was the ballroom, but there were four guards patrolling the area. The bottle wasn't here, but the keys to the room were. Based on what we dug up, I needed all four of the guards keys in order to get into the room. Grinning mischievously, I walked up behind the nearest guard.

It was a ram, his thick arms telling me that his punches would hurt like hell. I needed to be careful and make sure to knock him out before he got any chances. With steps as light as air, I snuck up and carefully extended my cane towards his back pocket. In one swift movement, I coaxed out a few coins before finding what I was looking for: A large brass key. The guard paused, probably starting to realize his pockets were noticeably lighter. I didn't give him the chance to even turn his head. Hooking my cane on the back of his uniform, I heaved him up into the air before smacking him back down with an audible crack.

The noise echoed in the large ball room, attracting the attention of the other three guards. None were as heavy set as the ram, and I was able to fight them head on. Three geese, each wielding an axe that seemed way too heavy for their thin wings to carry, swung at me with wide arches. It wasn't difficult to dodge, and a few well-placed swipes of my cane knocked them unconscious. With the last of the guards out, I pilfered their keys before moving on. I had hit them pretty hard, so I wasn't worried about them waking up and sounding the alarm anytime soon. They'd be lucky if they even remember last week when they do anyways.

Bentley guided me to the room that housed the valuable artifact. The door was ridiculous. Over fifteen feet tall and as thick as Murray's head. The keys worked like a charm, and with some effort, I managed to crack open the massive doors enough to squeeze through.

There in the middle of the room was the case containing the sacred bottle. Even from thirty feet away, I could see the intricate designs on the bottle, gold leaf curving around it in water-like waves. A sapphire decorated the lid, making the magnificent piece sparkle in the laser light.

That's right, lasers.

This guy really was paranoid. Red hot lasers crisscrossed the entire room, making the path to the case impossible to anything bigger than a rat.

I whipped out my binocucom, glancing around the room as I opened the channel with Bentley. "Sorry buddy, but I'm stuck. I'll be Swiss cheese if I try to get through that."

Bentley nodded, "I see your problem. Give me a minute, I'll see if I can hack in and deactivate it." And with that, Bentley left the channel. I put the binocucom back in my pouch and leaned against my cane.

This was the part of the job I hated the most: waiting. Staying still was not something I did easily, especially in the middle of a heist. Even when sneaking up on a guard, I was constantly moving. From a simple flick of my tail to shifting my weight from foot to foot, movement was essential. In this room, however, there wasn't much movement to be made. I had to be careful of where I held my tail, not wanting to singe it on the red hot lasers.

After about thirty seconds, I started playing with my cap, spinning it on my finger. "C'mon Bentley. Can't you work faster?" I muttered. Apparently Bentley had his headset on and replied with something along the lines of "you can't rush perfection" or something like that. I huffed, waiting impatiently for another three minutes before some of the lasers started turning off. I grinned, already starting to weave my way through the hole Bentley had provided. The lasers stopped disappearing after a while, an explanation quickly following.

"Sorry, Sly. I can't deactivate any more without tripping the alarms. You'll have to do the rest on your own."

I smirked, "Don't worry Bentley. I like a challenge."

Treading carefully, jumping and crawling between the lasers like an acrobat, I approached the case. Below the box, I saw a red button and quickly pressed it without thinking. Lucky for me, it wasn't an alarm. It deactivated the remaining lasers. Grinning at my good fortune, I happily smacked my cane against the glass case, breaking it with a single hit. Careful of the shards, I swiped the bottle, holding it carefully in my hand.

I didn't notice the pressure plate that the bottle had been sitting on.

All of a sudden, the lights went out except for a flashing red light, a blaring horn sounding throughout the building. Metal shutters fell over the windows for lockdown, coming down with a noisy clatter.

"Sly! Get out of there now!"

I was already moving. Stuffing the bottle into my pouch, I ran to the doors. Locked, of course. But there was more than one way out of a room. After a quick look over in the dim light, I noticed an air duct. A quick swipe of my cane dislodged the grated cover and I slipped inside, crawling forward on my stomach. As I crawled, I heard the guards trying to break down the door in the room behind me. I had to move fast if I wanted to get out of there before they realize where I had gone.

"Murray, you read me? Is the van running?"

"She's fired up!"

"Perfect. Bring her to the bridge. I'll meet you there."

"Are you sure? There are a lot of guards now. How're you gonna get through?"

I smirked, "I think I have an idea."