FOREVER HIS REBOUND
xONESHOTx
I am in love with Natsume Hyuuga.
Natsume Hyuuga. Campus hottie. Captain of the basketball team. Tall, handsome and mysterious. Every girl in the campus has been eyeing him as a prize. A trophy to be won. He even has his own fan club which he totally despises. He hates fangirls which is why he never has a girlfriend.
I am considered lucky to be mostly seated next to him in class. I am usually seated in the back because my surname ends with an S. He usually sits next to me because he likes sitting in the back. I always wonder how he gets straight A's when he always slacks off in class. I can barely get passing grades even if I take notes and listen. He never talks, and I never make any attempt to do so. I usually just talk to my best friend, Hotaru Imai who is seated in front of me. Hotaru has been my best friend since we were kids. She's a little cold at times, but I know she means well. She's also very beautiful. Tall, slender with black hair and lavender eyes. She turned down a lot of proposals from different boys in our class and even from the higher years. She never told me why.
It was about two months before senior prom when this happened. We had free period and I was reading my favorite John Grisham book in the library, when a cool husky voice came out of nowhere.
"Oi." I looked up and gaped at the handsome face of Natsume Hyuuga. I blink and look to my left and right to ensure he is talking to me.
"Yes, I am talking to you." He rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath. "Idiot."
I blush profusely. The campus crush is talking to me! "Y-yes Hyuuga-san?" I stutter over my words.
"Come with me." He turned around and I stuff all my books in my bag and quickly follow him. He walks fast. I follow him outside where he walks past the gym, the greenhouse, and we are at the edge of a forest. I hesitate and he senses it and turns around.
"You'll be safe." He turns back and proceeds walking through a path that one would barely notice. I follow quietly.
He stops suddenly and I collide into his back. He smells like peppermint. I step back and apologize, my face still red as a tomato.
"Sit down." He takes a seat at the base of a beautiful Sakura tree. I gaze at the marvellous view of the flowers on the trees swaying with the wind. I take a seat next to him and he places his hands behind his head and leans back on the tree trunk. He closes his eyes. I wait. After ten minutes, he opens his eyes, probably remembering I'm there with him.
"You're awfully quiet." He said. I blush again. "You're normally noisy whenever we have class."
"Well, y-you as-ked me t-t-to come here. What do you want?" I looked at him shyly. Surely he doesn't bring just any girl here. This must be his hang out whenever he skips classes.
"I need to know about your best friend. What does she like?" The words pierced through my heart like a sharp knife.
"Oh." I clearly looked crestfallen.
"Well?" He asked, expression clearly annoyed.
"Well, Hotaru's cold and unfeeling on the outside but she is very kind deep inside. She likes seafood, especially crab. She also has expensive tastes. She's very good with computers and technology. Her favorite color is purple." I wanted to add that my favorite color is red. I wanted to tell him what I liked. But I know he wouldn't ask for my own preferences. I look at the hands on my lap which were clenched together.
"Why doesn't she have a boyfriend?" I looked up at him.
"She never tells me why she never went out with anyone. Her suitors all get rejected. But I guess she has high standards. She is beautiful after all, unlike me." I lower my eyes again. I want to cry but I force myself not to. I feel his fingers under my chin and he forces me to look at him.
"You're not ugly. You're cute." My eyes widen in surprise because his face is just inches near mine. Just a little closer, and he would kiss me. I could feel his breath on my face. I closed my eyes and wait. But nothing happens. When I flutter them open, I see him back on his seat near the trunk of the tree with a smirk on his face.
"Tell her to meet me at Crazy Crab Restaurant this Saturday at 8PM." Then he stands up and leaves me there, sitting dumbfounded, feeling like a fool, thinking he would kiss me.
I tread back to the school with tears threatening to fall from my eyes. He would never like me. He likes my best friend. I found Hotaru waiting for me at the library.
"You're late, baka." She said coldly.
"Natsume Hyuuga asked you to meet him at the Crazy Crab Restaurant on Saturday at 8PM." I told her as I sat down. I looked at her and her face was expressionless as ever. Then, as if I never said anything, she opened her trigonometry book and started to doing her homework. I let out a sigh. Hotaru knows how much I like Natsume. She would never go out with him. Boy, was I ever wrong.
The next Monday, it was the talk of the school. Natsume Hyuuga was dating the Ice Queen, Hotaru Imai. They were an item now. The most unexpected couple. And he was taking her to prom. I ended up going with Ruka Nogi. He was also a very handsome guy. He had courted me, but I had said no, blindly still hoping Natsume would take notice me. Ruka was a blonde, blue eyed boy. He was half Japanese and half French. He continued courting me, no matter how many times I said no. So when he asked me to prom that same Monday, I finally said yes. Even though my heart was breaking. Even if I didn't really like him the way I loved Natsume.
Hotaru and I were in my room, preparing for prom. She was doing my hair in curls when she suddenly stopped and sat on my bed.
"Are you mad?" She asked me. I knew what she was talking about.
"No, why would I be?" I wanted to say yes. But I didn't. She was like a sister to me after all. She also deserves to be happy.
"You've loved him ever since junior high." She stated it as a fact.
"Are you happy, Hotaru?" I asked her.
"Yes."
"Then I will support you. Anyway, it's just a crush." She gave me a look that said she knew better than that, but didn't argue. She continued doing my hair and told me to get dressed.
"Thank you Mikan." She whispered quietly, and I gave her a tight hug.
"Take care of him Hotaru." I told her.
Ruka was holding me close during the last dance when the pair had caught my eye. They were in the balcony, the moonlight illuminating their forms. I could still tell it was them, I knew Natsume's silhouette better than anyone. It was when he dipped his head closer to hers that I averted my eyes. I knew they had kissed. And I knew, for the sake of my friendship with Hotaru, that I had to let him go. I meant to let him go that night. But fate had other plans.
Ruka and I ended up dating all through-out college. He was fun to be with. He took care of me when I was sick. He took me out on romantic dates. He liked giving me presents. But something was lacking. He could never be Natsume. I knew he knew that but he never complained. And I acted like I loved him. I cared for him. I didn't want to hurt him.
Natsume changed a lot ever since he dated Hotaru. He became like a love sick puppy. He followed her wherever she went and even applied to the same university Hotaru, Ruka and I were studying in. They were together 24/7. In school, in between classes, in our apartment. Hotaru and I lived in an off campus apartment just outside the university. Whenever he stayed over, I would make up an excuse to leave. Hotaru would give me that look again, and I just told her to enjoy their alone time. Deep inside, I just wanted to die. I knew she didn't do it to hurt me. She loved him too.
Ruka had to go on a foreign student exchange program. He was one of the top students in his class and I was sad to see him go. He wanted me to wait for him. I said I wouldn't. He and I both cried. I told him I was sorry. He said he knew. I felt guilty because he didn't get mad.
"I will always love you Mikan Sakura." Those were his parting words before he got on the plane bound for the United States.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Why couldn't I love him the way I loved Natsume? Why was I so cruel to him? Yet he loved me. He loved me the way Natsume never would.
The next few months went by in a blur. Only my depression got even worse. Ruka was a stable anchor in my life. He would give me the balance I needed. He made me happy when I was sad. Now, I had no one.
We were almost graduating. Everything was set. I was preparing myself as I was scheduled for a job interview the next morning when I heard shouting from the living room. It was Hotaru and Natsume. They were fighting.
"I'M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS NATSUME!" She shouted at him.
"Please Hotaru, please don't do this to me." He was sobbing like a child.
"YOU WON'T GIVE ME ANY SPACE. YOU ALWAYS DEMAND TIME FROM ME. I NEED TO GO AND LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT!"
"Hotaru, I love you.. so much. I can't bear it if you aren't with me." He was on his knees now, begging for her not to break up with him.
"I'M GOING ABROAD AFTER GRADUATION, AND THAT'S FINAL. IT'S OVER NATSUME." With that she pushed him out of the room and slammed the door in his face. Then she went to her own room and I heard her sob into her pillow. I came in with her favorite pint of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream and sat down on the bed.
"I'm sorry Mikan." I held her close as she sobbed in my chest.
"It's alright Hotaru." I comforted her as she cried.
"I promised I would take care of him but he's changed. He's not the guy in high school I fell in love with. It's like he became softer when he dated me. I need someone strong, someone who won't succumb to me easily. Someone who can take care of me." I slowly patted her hair as she cried. I knew she still loved him. And I knew what I needed to do.
"He just loves you so much, that's all. Maybe you guys just need a breather. I know you still love him." I whispered.
"But I'm going away next week. For two years. What if he falls in love with someone else?" She cried. Her mascara running down her cheeks.
"I'm so selfish for wanting to be by myself. But I also don't want him to be with anybody else." She said
"We need to be selfish for ourselves, once in awhile.I'll take care of him while you're away. He'll be waiting for you, I promise." She knew I always keep my promises.
A week after graduation, I took her to the airport. She cried because Natsume was mad at her still. I told her I would handle him. She left in tears and I told her to call me when she got in. I headed to a bar downtown that I knew he would be at. He was drunk. Bottles and bottles of beer littered the table he was in.
"Wha arrrre yyy-yyyouuu—do—doing heerrrrree?" His words were slurred as I struggled to get him to stand up.
"I'm taking you home. You're drunk."
"I—I—do-don't wwannnt tooooo liiiivvveee anyyyymoreeee…" He was bawling. With assistance from one of the bouncers, I got him into my car and drove him to his apartment. I got him into the living room and dropped him on the couch. He was still crying. My heart ached for him.
"I'm going now Natsume, I'll be back in the morning." I turned towards the door.
"Please, don't leave me." I turned back towards him and he looked like a lost child.
"I'm always here for you Natsume." I whispered. I sat next to him on the couch and he suddenly wrapped his arms around me, sobbing on my chest.
"S-she left meeeee. She doesn't love me anymore" I cradled him in my arms. I wanted to tell him to love me instead. But I kept quiet. I comforted him for hours until he stopped crying. He looked up and saw the tears running down my cheeks. I felt his warm hand brush the tears away.
"Why are you crying?" He asked. He sounded sober now.
"It's nothing." I told him as I took out my compact from the bag and composed myself.
"How did you find me?" He asked me. I assumed his head was throbbing so I went to the bathroom and got aspirin from the medicine cabinet. I went back to him with a glass of water and handed him the aspirin which he gratefully accepted.
"We've been friends for almost a decade. Of course I knew how to find you." I wanted to say that I loved him all these years and I knew where he went when they fought.
"Thank you." He said. Clearly embarrassed. I brushed it off and stood up to leave.
"Stay. It's late. I'll take you home in the morning." I nod and sat back down on the couch. I couldn't trust myself to say anything more. He was crying again. I took his face in my hands and cupped his cheeks.
"Stop crying. You know she hates that." He takes my hands away from his face.
"She hates me." I shook my head.
"She loves you." I love you too. I always have.
"She left me." He looked pathetic.
"She'll be back. But you have to pull yourself together. Be the man she fell in love with again, not some love sick man following her around like a puppy on a leash." He sounded surprised.
Then what he did next surprised me. He pulled me close to him and kissed me, hard. His kisses were rough and rushed. I felt him spear his tongue in my mouth and my mind was swimming with emotions. I can't do this to Hotaru. But I wanted to. For once in my life, I wanted to be selfish. I wanted him to be mine. I kissed him back with the passion I have always wanted him to feel. The next thing I knew, we were naked on the couch and his hands were all over my body. I felt him thrust in me and I moaned his name in ecstasy. Just when I was about to reach climax he came, shouting her name.
"Hotaru…" It was enough to slap the sense back into me. A tear fell down my cheek unconsciously. I try to catch my breath as the gravity of what I've done envelopes me. I pushed him softly away. He was tired, he fell asleep. I grab my clothes and head to his bathroom. I turned on the shower and stood there, letting the water mingle with my tears. I was so stupid to think that he would easily forget about her. That he kissed me because he suddenly realized he loves me. Stupid Mikan! Idiot Mikan!
I scrubbed myself furiously, letting the water wash away the pain and the hurt I was feeling inside. I changed back to my clothing to find him sitting on the couch, half dressed, eyes bloodshot. I told him I would sleep in the guest room. He shuffled to his room and closed the door. I lay awake the whole night.
I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. I went to the kitchen and found him sitting there, reading a newspaper. I grabbed a cup and sat down across the dining table from him. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't look.
"Mikan, about last night –" I cut him off
"Let's not talk about it." He didn't expect me to say that. I could see it in his eyes.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." His voice was low, barely above a whisper.
"Don't feel like you took advantage. You didn't. I wanted it to happen." I let him off the hook easily.
"Why are you so kind to me? After what I've done to you." The question lingered in the air.
"I love you." I finally said it. He bowed his head and said nothing. So I said it for him.
"But you don't. You love Hotaru. You love my best friend. I know. I've been next to you guys for the past 8 years so I definitely know. Call me stupid. Call me a fool. I don't care. It didn't stop me from loving you back then, and it won't stop me from loving you now. I've been in your life, in the background for 8 years Natsume. I was always there for you, giving you advice, helping you when you couldn't understand her. I helped you get her to your first date. So don't bother apologizing. I'm used to it. I'm used to being just her best friend in your life."
I stood up and washed my cup in the sink. Then I took my stuff and I went home. Hotaru called and I told her I didn't see him that night. I didn't see him for the next 6 months. I pulled myself together to finally move on. I went on dates. I moved to a new apartment. I started going through the motions of a normal life. Hotaru was in constant contact with me on Facebook. The time difference making it hard for us to call each other. She posted a photo of her and a guy she was dating. He was a doctor in the states and they had gone out for coffee. Not one hour passed after the photo had been posted that I received a text from an unknown number.
Please help me forget about her.
I instantly knew who it was. And the next morning, I was in his bed, naked. I had did it again. I had become his rebound. This time around, it was different. We never mentioned her. He never moaned out her name again. This time it wasn't a mistake. It was a choice.
He took me out on dates. He made me laugh. He would hold my hand in his whenever we walked down the street. I was happy. I finally got what I wanted. But there was still something missing. Whenever I would gaze into his eyes, there wasn't that spark in them like before. But I pretended not to notice. He pretended it wasn't there.
He made me move in with him two months after that. That was the happiest year and a half of my life. We would go antiquing on the weekends or go to the beach. Most of the time, we would spend the weekends in bed. Immersing ourselves in the pleasure of each other's bodies. It was one such weekend, right after we had just finished a round in the sheets when the phone rang. He grabbed my waist and pinned me down on the bed, preventing me from standing to pick it up. He nuzzled my neck as the phone finally stopped ringing and we heard the machine pick it up.
This is Natsume. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep. We had never thought to change that to include my name on the message.
"Natsume? It's me." There was no mistaking that voice. It was Hotaru.
"If you're there pick up. But if not, well, I just wanted to call and let you know I'll be back in Japan next week. I haven't called Mikan yet with the news but I just wanted to let you know first. Give me a call when you get this." The machine cut off signalling she had hung up.
We were both frozen. I had never told Hotaru about us. I didn't have the guts to do it. And I guess neither did he. We never talked about her. Whenever the subject of Hotaru came up, we would both skirt around it. Her name was taboo in our relationship. He got up from on top of me and just lay still next to me. He had his eyes closed but I knew he wasn't sleeping
"You still love her, don't you?" I asked softly. Deep down, I already knew the answer.
"I don't know." He said. He was afraid to look at me. Afraid to see that I already knew.
"Don't lie to me. I know you silly." I forced a laugh. He raised his eyebrow at me.
"How can you tell?" He asked. His eyes were desperately seeking for answers. Answers he knew I had.
"Because, in the past year and a half, not once did you say that you loved me." I was surprise that my voice never trembled. But the last two words came with a salty taste, as the tears had fallen from my eyes already.
"Are you mad?" It was the same question she asked me.
"No, why would I be?" Same answer I gave her.
"Because I hurt you?" He wiped the tears from my cheeks and I brushed his hand away.
"You didn't. I hurt myself. You made me happy Natsume. You really did. And it's not your fault you don't love me. We can never force anyone to love someone they don't. Just like how I couldn't force myself to love Ruka. It was always you. I have always loved you. I'm glad I was able to take care of you. To spend time with you. But you were always hers. You were never mine to begin with." He held me in his arms and we both cried. We knew it was the end. I had to keep my promise.
"I'm so sorry Mikan. I wish I could love you the way you loved me. I really do." I left the bed and put on my clothes.
"It's okay Natsume. I understand. I will always love you and I will always be here for you." And I left. I found a new apartment and moved my things after a few days.
A year down the road and I am in a lavender dress, standing in the ballroom of one of the fanciest hotels in Japan.
"Let's hear from our maid of honor, Miss Mikan Sakura!"
"Hi, I'm Mikan Sakura. Hotaru's best friend. Well, what can I say. I'm happy to be part of the small group of family and friends fortunate to celebrate their day with them. I'm happy that my best friend has finally settled down with the love of her life. Natsume, please take care of her. And Hotaru, never let go of him again. Cheers to the newlyweds!"
I raise my glass up to toast them and I catch his crimson eyes looking at me. The celebration continues and Ruka whisks me away to the dance floor. As a slow dance plays, Natsume taps his shoulder, asking to cut in. Ruka lets him and goes off to dance with the bride. He pulls me close to him and I let myself relax in his arms.
"Back with Ruka?" He asks.
"No. He's just here as a friend. Jealous?" I teased.
"Interesting speech." He changes the topic.
"I didn't get much time to prepare." I blushed.
"What if she lets go of me again?" He asked me, his crimson eyes taking my breath away.
"Well, you know where I am." He looks into my eyes.
"I'll hurt you again." I looked away.
"Some people are worth the pain. I've already decided that you're worth it. We need to experience pain to know we're alive, that we're just not pretending to live for the sake of living. " I told him as the dance ended.
I let him go and head to where Ruka was. He offers me a champagne glass and I accepted. I watched Natsume and Hotaru dance as if they were the only two people in the world. Then it was time for them to go. People gathered around the car they were taking to the airport since they were going to Paris for their honeymoon. I stayed near the bar alone. Before they leave, he pulls out of the crowd and gives me a tight hug.
"Thank you." He said, his eyes speaking the words his mouth could never say. I held his gaze and nodded. Then he left to be with his wife. My best friend.
Ruka came up to me and offers another glass of champagne.
"What was that for?" He asked.
"He was just thanking me." I turned away from Ruka and walked towards the small garden of the hotel. In the company of the moonlight, I let the tears finally fall. Because I knew deep in my heart, I will be forever his rebound.
THE END
I made another sad oneshot (Please don't hate me!)
I don't know why i did it. It just popped into my head.
Let me know what you think
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xoxo Lexi1989