The Princeton Chronicles
By: Marie
Disclaimer: My birth certificate has a typo. It says I'm not David Shore.
"Doctor House checks in for clinic duty at three." The gruff doctor mumbled to the nurse. He was missing a very important episode of General Hospital, Missy was finally coming out of her coma, this information was crucial! Now he was missing it because of Cuddy. He grabbed the nearest patient chart and turned to the awaiting patients.
"You'll never take me alive!!" He shouted as he made his way to exam room three. Upon entering the room he was shocked at what he saw, a blonde. Not just any blonde, a beautiful blonde, he had to admit she was definitely artificially blonde, but the fact that she happened to be wearing a very low cut tank made up for that. 'This must be my lucky day', he thought as he shut the door. He pulled up a chair.
"Well, what seems to be the problem?" He asked as his eyes roved over her perfect body, her perfect curves. She looked frightened.
"I found a lump." Her voice quivered. Tears welled up in her eyes.
"A lump?" House quirked his eyebrow, "Would you mind telling me where?"
She hastily wiped away her tears.
"Yeah sure." she said as she pulled down her low cut tank even further.
"Yowzer!!" House shouted as she flashed her bare chest at him. "It's right here." She pointed to a small red bump on her breast. He leaned in closer.
"Uh, I don't really know how to tell you this but…." He was quickly cut off with the cries of the weeping blonde.
"Oh! Theresa was right. I knew it too in my heart. I have breast cancer don't I?! Tell it to me straight Doc!!" House was stunned as the sobbing woman threw herself on him crying hysterically.
"Ah, what was your name again?" He asked as he managed to push her off him. Tears stained the front of his shirt. He grabbed a pen and his prescription pad.
"Barbie!" she managed to get out between sobs. "Well, Barbie, here give this to the nurse outside." he said handing her the prescription he had written.
"What is it?" Barbie asked confusion in her voice.
"A prescription."
"What? How can you treat cancer with a prescription?" House slowly stood up and reached for his cane. He turned toward a very bewildered Barbie.
"It's a bug bite, you idiot!" House shouted. Barbie's eyes grew as wide as saucers and her mouth formed the shape of an 'O'. He wished he had his camera with him. Then he lumbered toward the exam room door. Another clinic case another stupid clinic patient. Then a thought occurred to him. He turned back toward Barbie.
"Do you know how you got the bug bite in that spot exactly?"
Barbie looked shocked. "Is it important?"
"Sure."
"Well than it must have been when…" Her brow furrowed in concentration. "Oh, yeah! It must have been when me and my boyfriend, Ken, were at the beach! It was really hot so he convinced me to.…"
"Whoa! Hold it! Too much information, and did you say your boyfriend's name is Ken?"
"Yeah?"
"You're joking, right?"
"No, why would I?"
"Hold on, do you have siblings?"
Barbie seemed completely unfazed by the fact that a strange doctor was asking such personal questions, which she answered carelessly.
"Sure I do. There's Stacy and Kelly…."
House's eyes widened as he tried to hold in his laughter! "Ah, that will be all, Barbie." He said quickly before shutting the door on the still babbling blonde. He called over a nurse.
"Please send the patient in exam room three to the psychiatric ward to be evaluated."
The nurse was new but recognized the doctor from all the stories that she had heard. This was obviously doctor House and her instincts told her that he was up to something. "Might I ask what's wrong with said patient?"
"Let's just say after 43 long years together, I have a feeling that Barbie and Ken are breaking up!"
The nurse gave the crippled doctor a strange look as he hobbled out of the clinic. Dare she open the door to exam room three to find out what the estranged doctor meant? She opened the door quickly and immediately regretted her decision as the wrath of Barbie was unleashed!