For the prompt: "She tasted like every dark thought I ever had."

For Leara Fiera

Warnings: Hints of incest, non-explicit sex

You grew up knowing that you'd marry a pureblood woman, and you grew up knowing you'd hate it.

Already from you were a small boy, you didn't look at the girls. When all the rich families met, you held your brother's hand, and you talked with the other boys. Lucius was always your favourite. He was smart, and he was stylish. As you grew older, he hung around Narcissa Black. They were made for each other, your young eyes saw that. Each was a picture of exquisite beauty, class, and love. You weren't sure what it was about them, but they moved like magnets, always knowing where each other were, and how they felt. You realised too late that your brother also noticed, and that he noticed you and him were the same.

You didn't realise until he was in your bed. It was the day of your 14th birthday, and by now you knew you were gay. Really, you'd always known, but now you also knew the term.

You had heard your mother and father talk about it. Your mother always saw right thought you and shared her worry with your father. Your uncle had apparently been gay, it had become commonly known, and he lost his betrothed because a gay man couldn't make a woman pregnant. Maybe that was why your father refused to believe you were gay, you thought.

He told mother that you'd marry Bellatrix Black and would make her bear strong children, like he himself had with mother. There was something over the way he drew himself into the picture that made you think he knew you were gay, and wonder whether he had been too, and that was what made him so sure that a gay man could indeed make a woman pregnant.

Later, you visited the Blacks, you were to socialise with Bella, mother said, and maybe she knew you had overheard her and father, for she had never told you to do something like that before.

You'd opened the door to Bella'a room, and instantly knew you should have knocked.

"It's no shame to practise," she had told you as you'd found the three girls naked in bed together, and now where Rab lay in your bed, you repeated that to yourself. You were just practising. Like the Black girls. It didn't matter that you actually preferred the company of men, you were going to marry Bella either way.

If she practised, you needed to, too, didn't you? So you'd be equals.

It was painful at first, and awkward, 'cause neither of you knew how to do this, but you practised, and then it felt wonderful.

It was yours and Rab's secret, and you felt bad for taking advantage of him sometimes, but then you told himself that he was just practising as well, and then you could almost forget that brothers shouldn't make each other scream in ecstasy, neither should men.

Than came the day where it was official that you and Bella would get married, and you held hands, and smiled, and you even kissed. Your nights, however, were spent with your brother, and hers with er sisters.

The day you got married though, were she was in white and you suited up, there was no choice.

As customary, you were locked in the same room to consummate your marriage. You couldn't help but wonder whether the room was locked as a symbol of your privacy, or the eternal prison you had caught yourself in.

What you wondered most of all though, was how to do this. You'd ever only been with your brother, and meet wanted to touch a lady as you were supposed to do now.

Bella smiled at you though, and invited you over to the bed where you sat down. As she unbuttoned your shirt and slid it off if your shoulders, the question slipped over your lips without you ever intending it to do so.

"How do you know what to do when you've ever only even with your sisters?"

She had laughed at you when you asked, but you patiently waited for an answer which came as she turned around and placed your hands on the lace of her dress.

She'd had sex with Lucius and Narcissa it turned out. Narcissa had wanted to try it with a male before she was forced to do so on her wedding day, and then she could just as well do it with Lucius. She'd been nervous though, as your hands were when they slid over soft curves to undress your wife.

She was beautiful, Bella, she truly was. Even you could see that. Maybe that was why Lucius had had nothing against it when Narcissa asked whether her sister could be there with them.

You liked Bella's soft round breasts, you liked the wild curls and the devilish smirk on your wife's lips. So you forgot to listen to more of her tale as she lay naked on the bed and moved your hands downwards, guiding your head after them so your lips first brushed her nipples. It stirred within you as you heard her moan. The sound seems shrill compared to that of your brother's, but you liked her moan.

She guided you further down, but you were already more than ready to see if Bella could please you more than your brother. She wouldn't let you though, guided you down, and as you pleased her with your tongue, she tasted like every dark thought you'd ever had. As if she was your secret rather than your brother.

But wasn't she also just that? Your parents knew about you and your brother, so did Bella. They knew how you enjoyed another man, and you thought you'd only ever enjoy men, but oh how you enjoyed the darkness of your wife.

All your shame, she destroyed that night, and she became your dark secret, because you'd always told yourself that you wouldn't enjoy being married to a woman, but she had infected you with the darkness within her.