Hello everyone! So this story is a little bit different than what I'm used to writing, and I think you'll be able to understand why as you read.
Just as a warning: This story is a sad. That is not an understatement. You have been warned.
Despite that, I hope you enjoy this story! Please remember to review and let me know what you think!
It is cold.
I can't really feel anything, but I know that I'm in a bed. Probably on a mattress made of rocks, because why else would it be so uncomfortable? Or maybe I'm not in a bed at all, but I can't tell because I can't open my eyes.
There's a light sheet over my body - I can feel it, sort of. But it does nothing to shield me from the cold. I feel like calling out, telling someone, anyone to increase the damn temperature. Seriously, does heating even exist in this room?
Am I dead?
I feel like laughing at my own thoughts. It's funny, because I have absolutely no idea what the hell is happening.
I'm inside my head. I'm not crazy. I'm just asleep.
I mean, if I can't open my eyes, I must be asleep, right?
No...no, I think I just woke up.
My mind feels like mush. So sluggish.
What the hell is happening?
I feel tired. So tired. I kind of want to fall asleep again, but now there's something pricking my arm and I can't fall asleep.
Well, that's annoying.
I try opening my eyes again, but I think the connection between my brain and my body is not doing great, so I still can't open my eyes. Either way, I think there's something covering them.
Which is really rude. Because, like...who gave anyone the right to do that?
But I'm tired, I'm really tired, and my brain isn't working anyway so there isn't really a point in me being awake. I try to sleep again, but some people start talking and it's really disturbing me. I wish I could yell at them to shut up, but their voices are kinda muffled so I don't really know what they're saying. I try to focus more, to pay attention, but it kind of hurts my head. I do it anyway because I'm bored.
"...awake?"
"I'm afraid not, sir. And with today, it's been exactly three months."
"Oh..."
"Sir, are you all right?"
"F-Fine, fine, thank you. I apologize. I'm not myself lately."
"Of course, sir. Anyone in your position would be like that. And you've been so good, too, coming in every day to see him."
I don't really like the sound of her voice. Hey, if the guy's grieving, she doesn't have to sound so patronizing about it. I guess I'm just in a really bad mood and probably shouldn't be judging other people. Besides, I don't really get what they're talking about, anyway.
"It's the least I can do."
I kinda want the guy to keep talking. I know it sounds weird - trust me, I'm weirded out by my own thoughts and that's saying something - but I dunno, it's like listening to an addicting song. It makes me feel good. I don't really know why.
It's kinda weirding me out, actually. But that quickly goes away, so I try to focus again on their conversation.
"What?"
"I-I apologize sir, but we really..."
"I can't possibly make such a decision for him!"
"You were...close to him, correct?"
"...I don't deserve to be. I never did."
"But were you?"
"Yes."
I really want to know what they're talking about. Like, really badly. So I can help this guy with whatever he's sad over. It would be great if I could see him, but I mean, beggars can't be choosers.
"Is his family here?"
"Yes. Alfred's brother, Matthew, flew in yesterday, and he said he'd be coming any minute..."
Okay. Okay, so there's an Alfred, and there's a Matthew. Which one is Alfred and which one is Matthew?
Is the guy's name Alfred? But it's weird to call yourself by your name. In, like, the third person.
"Mm..."
Oh my god. Is that my voice?
I guess I'm finally frustrated enough to get my body working. But I sound really uncool, so I try again.
"M'here..."
I hear a lot of rattling and footsteps thumping towards me. I suddenly feel a hand on my arm, and it's cold, colder than the room, and I try to move away from it but it doesn't really work.
"Alfred! Alfred, are you awake?"
"Sir, he's just woken up..."
"Alfred!"
Jesus Christ, why is he shouting? He used to talk so softly and now he's shouting and I feel kinda annoyed. And this Alfred guy needs to calm down too, he can't just walk into a room and totally ruin my life.
Whatever. I wait for Alfred to come over and for this guy to stop talking, but he doesn't stop and finally he falls silent again. The hand doesn't leave my arm, though, and I'm getting used to it being there.
"C-Can we remove the blindfold?"
"Yes, the doctor told me he might need glasses. But he'll be all right."
"Thank goodness."
A sigh.
And then the world becomes really bright. I can see light behind my eyelids.
It kinda hurts at first. But I have to buck up and deal with it so I open my eyes, carefully, slowly, and at first all I see is a blinding white light. I groan a bit, and when my eyes finally adjust I can see someone standing over me.
It's the guy I heard, I think, and he has really light blond hair - like, really light - and I think he's looking at me. It's weird. The light makes him seem like he has a halo. But he has some really fucking huge eyebrows and I can't help myself from staring at them.
A lot. I think he notices, because he fidgets uncomfortably, biting his lip.
When I don't say anything, he begins hesitantly, "A-Alfred...? Are you...are you feeling okay?"
"Better than ever," I lie, even though I feel something woven around my head. I suddenly have a killer headache, and my body is in pain all over, but for some reason I feel like it isn't important to mention that.
"I'll have to take some measurements," a voice to my right says, but I ignore her as she scurries from the room.
The guy in front of me looks to the door with wide eyes before turning back to me again. I can't really see him that well but I think he's crying.
"Alfred," he sobs, taking my hand that was lying on the bed and intertwining it with his own. I feel really confused, because...uh, that's an invasion of personal space. But he's crying so I figure I should let him do what he wants until I figure out what's happening.
"Alfred, I'm so sorry, and I know you must think that you had to do it but you really didn't, I'm not worth it and I never was worth it and..." he trails off, choking on his tears, and I get worried.
"Uh..." I begin lamely, and I clear my throat. "Wait, what's happening?"
And I really need to figure out who this Alfred guy is. From this guy's description, it looks like he did a lot of screwed up shit.
He looks at me in surprise, and even through my blurry vision I can tell he's frowning.
"Alfred...you're in the hospital."
Hospital? Well, that would explain a lot. No wonder I'm so damn uncomfortable. And there's stuff sticking into my arms like I'm some sort of test subject. Okay, and I'm hurting, so...
"That explains a lot," I say, echoing my thoughts as I try to sit up. Bad decision. Lots of pain.
I shrink back down again, and the guy helps me adjust my pillow.
He looks pretty young from what I can tell, actually. He's kinda small - and by that, I mean skinny - and he seems kinda frail.
"Alfred," the man begins again, and at this point I'm fed up with this Alfred guy. I wish he'd stop talking to me about Alfred since he's talking to me and if he wanted to talk about Alfred he should go talk about Alfred with Alfred.
"Look, uh...you sure you shouldn't be talking to someone else?"
After all, the dude's pretty much a stranger and as good as his hand felt - I did not just think that - it's kinda weird talking to a stranger in a hospital.
Isn't the hospital room, for like, family and stuff?
...Yeah. Uh...family.
My head starts to hurt again so I wince, and the guy looks concerned.
"What do you mean?" he asks, and I can tell he sounds pretty hurt. His voice wavers when he speaks.
Uh, okay. Do people normally talk to strangers and expect some sort of emotional connection? Because I did not get the memo for that one.
Then I notice what was bugging me. He has a...what's the word. I sit there until I remember it.
Oh...right! Accent. That's what it is. He has an accent.
"I mean, like..." I frown, and then my forehead hurts so I stop. "Shouldn't you go, like...talk to Alfred, or whatever?"
The dude's eyes widen - a lot, and I consider passing it off as a joke but that doesn't make sense - and he slowly backs away from me, like I just said something horrifying.
"Alfred."
I blink.
"Your name is Alfred."
What? He could have told me that at the start! Then I wouldn't be so confused! I look at him curiously, although I do feel a bit unsettled that I forgot something like that.
"Oh...uh, okay. Sorry."
"Alfred, who am I?"
"I don't know."
I think that it's weird he's asking me who he is, like he forgot or something.
He freezes briefly before he puts a hand over his mouth, and he gives me a quick nod before he leaves the room.
I never want to hear the heart-wrenching sobs he lets out ever again.
I wonder if it was something I said?