So after 3x15 and all my personal problems, I tried to write again so I could get back into the swing of things (I promise for people reading Here and Now, I am now trying to write the next chapter). I added this on tumblr a couple of days ago so I'm now adding it here too. But anyway I did try to make this fluffy but it turned into angst as well (my muse is coping with my lose this way sorry). But anyway I hope you enjoy this :).
Oliver's heart was pounding. He could feel the blood rushing through his veins. The adrenaline in his system should have meant he was nervous, scared but he wasn't. Oliver was excited, elated, the smile on his face like none before. As he stood there he couldn't help his mind wandering back to a time when this seemed completely unimaginable.
3 years earlier.
Oliver stood there by his best friend, no, his brother's side. He turned slightly to look at the small but excited congregation chatting away. Suddenly the place fell silent as the doors opened and the music started to play.
She looked stunning. Her floor length ivory dress hugging her figure, her eyes full of life as she stared into the eyes of the man she loved. The smile that spread across her face melted Olivers heart. He turned his head slightly his eyes drawn to the blonde locks glowing in the sunlight from the front row. She was staring at the bride, but she looked beautiful in her red gown. A carefree happy smile on her face, oh how he wished those smiles were still directed at him. He watched as her plus one leant forward whispering into her ear. He saw the blush spread across her face, and down her chest, saw the way she licked her lips as she turned her head to look back at him. Olivers head dropped as he pulled his eyes away. He had made his choice and she had made hers.
He stood in place as Diggle greeted Lyla. There smiles the brightest he had ever seen. He grinned at the love this couple clearly shared. When the vows and rings were exchanged Oliver caught glimpses of Felicity in his peripheral vision. She was leaning into Ray's side, rubbing the happy tears away. Oliver blinked trying to not think of the couple, not to think of this life, of everything he was soon to be giving up. The crowd erupted as the two kissed and Oliver found himself cheering a long too. His smile came easily because he was genuinely happy for his friends, his family. There happiness gave him joy, and then his eyes caught hers. Blue on blue, across the room and he tried to look away but he couldn't. He thought he saw the matching ache in his heart in hers, but she blinked and turned her attention towards the newlyweds.
The evening party was in full swing. Thankfully no bad guys had decided to surprise them all today and Oliver found himself enjoying the party atmosphere. He had posed for photos, made a celebratory speech, and even danced with baby Sara. Now he was stood by the bar as Lyla was about to throw her bouquet into the crowd of women. But Oliver only noticed one, his blonde partner, stood at the back looking slightly unsure.
"You do realise you've spent most of today staring at her right?" Diggles voice came in loud and clear.
"I don't know what you're talking about Dig." Dig shook his head with a smile as he took a sip of his champagne.
"Oh of course not." They both watched as Lylas bouquet flew through the air some of the ladies grabbing and screeching but somehow it landed in Felicitys open arms. She stared at it in shock as Ray slid beside her whispering in her ear again. She laughed and Oliver turned away swiftly. Diggle looked between the couple and him.
"I thought you had made your choice?" Diggle asked.
"I have. And she has made hers."
"Oliver-"
"Dig she's happy. I've proven I'm not good for her, he is. She deserves everything from life and I can't give her that-"
"No you can't give her that if you decide you're going to be Ra's al Ghul." Diggle said raising an eyebrow. Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Dig we aren't having this discussion tonight. She knows how I feel-"
"Fine but there is a difference between words and actions. You've done nothing to show her how you feel."
"And I won't."
"Why because you think you're putting her life at risk?"
"No because maybe I am Ra's al Ghul maybe that's the life I'm meant to lead." Diggle shook his head slowly.
"You aren't Ra's and you aren't the Arrow. You're Oliver Queen and you have to do the things that make you, you Oliver."
"But that's the thing Dig. I don't know who I am anymore."
"And I think that's a lie. I think you know deep down who you are and that life, this life." Diggle gestured his hand towards his wife and daughter twirling on the dance floor. "That scares you more than anything else. Because you think everyone around you gets hurt. And you wouldn't be able to the live with yourself if you had this with Felicity and anything bad happened." Oliver dropped his head unable to meet his friends gaze.
"This life doesn't leave me-"
"Oliver, stop with the excuses. When you love someone, you figure things out. You support each other through the good and bad, you believe in each other and you trust each other. You know each other and you accept every side of them, no matter how ugly it can be." Oliver closed his eyes. "Either fight for her or let her go." Dig patted him on the shoulder as he turned away, "But I can promise you one thing, she might be happy with someone else but she'd never be as happy as if she was with you." Oliver stared at his drink as Diggle walked away. He grabbed it, swallowing it all in one big gulp. He slammed the glass down on the bar and span around. He stopped dead when his eyes landed on them.
The music was slow and soft. Felicity was in Ray's arms her head resting on his chest as he gently swayed and moved them to the music. His heart stopped; she looked breath taking in the low light. He saw the life he so desperately wanted but couldn't have flash before his eyes; of nights with her in his arms, of shared secret jokes. Of soft kisses and warm smiles. Of dates, anniversaries, weddings, children. Of everything he ever dreamed of with the woman he loved. He blinked stopping the tears. He couldn't have that life not with her. She deserved that future but Oliver couldn't have that with anyone not now, maybe not ever. His heart felt heavy in his chest.
How many people can Oliver Queen lose before there is no more Oliver Queen?
Slades words echoed through his mind. Diggle was wrong. He wasn't Oliver Queen anymore, he hadn't been him for so long and after everything with Malcolm and Ra's he could feel himself slipping away even more with every passing day. Maybe being Ra's al Ghul would be easier than this, than this half life. Maybe by giving up on himself he could protect everyone. Maybe that would be easier than staying and enduring life as Oliver Queen.
His eyes snapped back into the room as he felt her gaze fall on him, her blue eyes sparkled in the light. A single tear was falling down her cheek as she gave him a single sharp nod. Then Diggle was excusing them and taking Felicity in his arms as they swirled around the dance floor. Ray made a beeline straight for Oliver. He stood there his expression as stoic as ever.
"Oliver." Ray said as he ordered his drink.
"Ray." He returned not meeting his eyes.
"I know."
"You know what?"
"You and Felicity. It's kind of obvious now I think about it."
"What are you talking about?" Oliver said turning to him.
"I've been watching you two these last few weeks, the looks, the unspoken things between you. It's pretty obvious how you feel."
"I have no idea-"
"I used to look at Anna like that." Oliver stopped dead. "I would do anything for her, I wasn't able to protect her but I would never give up the time we had together." Olivers fist clenched by his sides. "I'll step aside for you, who am I to get in the way of soul mates. I know what it's like to love someone so much it hurts." Oliver exhaled sharply turning away.
"I just want her to be happy Ray and you… you can give her a life I can't."
"I think you could if you tried, she isn't bothered about our possessions she cares about the men under the bravado."
"Well she needs someone who can live without the bravado, you can give her that. I need you to give her that." Oliver looked him in the eyes. "I need you to take care of her, to be there for her when nobody else can, to listen to her babble, to give her mint choc chip when she's stressed, to know when she's chewing a pen she's concentrating, to listen to her and take her advice on board more than any other. To just love her and give her a life she truly deserves."
"Oliver it sounds to me like that should be you."
"It can't. I have to go." Ray frowned at him. "But if you ever hurt her Ray, I'll come for you."
"I never doubted that for a single second Oliver." Oliver gave him a swift nod before giving the party one last glance and heading for the exit.
"You okay man?" Diggle asked bringing him out of his musings. Oliver turned his head to Diggle.
"I have never been better." He replied with an easy smile.
"Well it took you long enough." Diggle teased playfully.
"I know, but-" Just then the doors flew open and music started.
First was Lyla in a beautiful green flowing dress, arrow green. A nod to their night time activities well other night time activities. Sara was beautiful in a purple sparkly dress, the picturesque flower girl. She held her mother's hand as they came down the aisle together. Thea followed them in her matching green dress. Oliver couldn't help smiling at the beautiful grin his sister had. Even the way she and Roy looked at each other made him smile. He was glad they found each other again.
Then finally in she came. Olivers breath caught in his throat. Quentin was giving her away. The whole room faded away as he saw only her, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time all over again. She was in a perfectly fitted ivory dress, it pulled in at the waist fitting the glorious cuts of her curves flawlessly. It flowed over her hips to the floor. It was simple but oh so Felicity. Her smile was so warm and full of joy and her lips and nails were red as well as the matching flower in her hair. He smiled as he remembered telling her about the red pen all those years ago. Her blonde hair was down and cascading over her shoulders, her glasses long forgotten. She looked beautiful, heavenly.
She took the first step up to him.
"Hi." She said softly only for him.
"Hey." He replied unable to stop grinning. As he looked into her eyes as they exchanged their vows and rings he saw nothing but love, devotion, admiration, light, strength and most importantly the woman he loved and the future they now had together. Their first kiss as husband and wife was a gentle one full of everything they hadn't said to each other, reluctantly they pulled apart but their hands entwined as they made their way to the exit.
The reception was different for Oliver this time around, he did the mandatory duties and when the bouquet was thrown it was Thea who caught it and Roys face turned seven shades of red. So when the first dance came around, and he took his wives hand everything just felt right. He smiled as he pulled her in close, her head resting under his chin.
"I love you Felicity Meghan Smoak-Queen."
"And I love you Oliver Jonas Smoak-Queen." He chuckled lightly as he kissed the top of her head. She pulled back slightly looking into his eyes.
"I'm sorry I thought we never could have this. I'm sorry it took me so long to get my act together-"
"Hey. It all worked out. That's all that matters. It might have taken you awhile to realise, but you did. Love, family, friends, your humanity they give you strength."
"Yes but you give me the most Felicity." He whispered into her ear. "You helped me realise I was worthy of love, you help ease the burden of guilt, you help me be the better man that I always knew I could be." She smiled tenderly at him.
"Oliver you helped yourself by realising that you need all of this. And I'm glad you fought for me, glad you stopped dangling maybes." He kissed her gently on the lips.
"I'm glad we're partners again."
"We've always been partners Oliver; this just made us more official."
"Exactly I get to call you my wife." He smiled broadly then as he pulled her in close.
"Good because I like being called your wife, and remember we face things together."
"As a team…"
"In our personal lives, our work lives at QI and our night time lives." Oliver smirked. "Not those night time lives, our other business, the more dangerous one, though there was that one time when I tied you-"
"Felicity." Oliver cut her off; she glanced into his eyes that had blown wide with lust. She subconsciously licked her lips causing him to groan and she couldn't help chuckling a little. The song began to change and more people came to join them.
"Do you want a drink?" Oliver asked. "I haven't seen you drink all night." He questioned softly as they left the dance floor.
"Please I'm parched." He handed her a glass of champagne from a passing tray. She glanced at it then shook her head. "Water would be great."
"Felicity?" He frowned slightly. "Are you okay?" She fidgeted slightly before her blue eyes met his.
"I... I wanted to tell you properly but I only found out this morning and then with the wedding I totally got sidetracked and it just seemed so random-"
"Fe-li-ci-ty." He said gently taking her hand in his. She took a deep breath pulling him down to her height.
"I'm pregnant." She whispered trying to not draw the attention of the crowd. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she was not expecting Oliver Queen to scoop her up in his arms and spin them with the biggest grin in the world before planting the most passionate kiss on her. She felt light headed when he finally pulled away, gently placing her feet back on the ground, their foreheads touching.
"Really?"
"Well the 5 pregnancy tests can't be wrong."
"5?"
"I wanted to make sure. I know it wasn't part of the plan-"
"Felicity when has anything we've ever done been part of the plan." She smiled then as he stood up straighter.
"So you're happy then?" She asked. He pulled her into his arms.
"Felicity Smoak-Queen, I am currently the happiest man alive and it is all thanks to you."
He looked into her sparkling blue eyes, and he saw his future, not a dark lonely one like 3 years ago, till his team saved him, but a bright one full of family, laughter and most importantly love.