Title: Alternative Interrogation

Author: Eyes of Glass

Rating: M

Feedback: I take all constructive criticism. Ratings and reviews would be deeply appreciated.

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"So, have you any confessions regarding the identity of Kira, Kira-san?"

"No. I. Do. Not. And. I. Would. Be. So. Much. More. Comfortable. In. Another. Position."

"If you insist,"

"Damnit that's even worse!"

"Judging by the coloration of your skin and the tone of your voice shall I assume you are uncomfortable Kira-san?"

"Don't call me Kira!"

"That was not a denial,"

"I'm not a mass-murderer!"

"But are uncomfortable?"

"Yes Goddammit!"

"Hmm,"

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Move. Now."

"Fine,"

"Ah, AH, no, no, no, not like that!"

"Like what?"

"Stop moving!"

"You just told me to move Light-kun, I must confess I am getting mixed messages,"

"I. Hate. You."

"So does Kira. What a coincidence,"

"I am not Kira,"

"So you said, I am not deaf,"

"Then why do keep implying it?"

"Implying what Kira-kun?"

"Goddammit!"

"If you hit me again Light-kun, it will be the worse for you,"

"You provoked me,"

"Keep telling yourself that Light-kun,"

"Why won't you get off me?"

"To prevent further physical assault,"

"It didn't stop me the last time,"

"An excellent point,"

"What the-no! Don't- Damn you fucking psycho!"

"Hypocrisy will do you no favor's,"

"Get off me!"

"Why?"

"Do you have any idea what my father will say if he walks in on us?"

"Several, however he will not walk in on us as the team went home three and a half hours ago,"

"You are making me very uncomfortable,"

"I had already ascertained that from your physical reactions Light-kun,"

"Do you have any notion of personal space?"

"I am prepared to sacrifice my comfort for the sake of this investigation,"

"How does this help us catch Kira?"

"How indeed,"

"Do you want me to hit you again?"

"Considering our current position you will find it very difficult,"

"I. Am. Very. Persistent,"

"Of that I have no doubt,"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Merely that you display an attitude that is unwilling to bend towards pressure,"

"This conversation is as uncomfortable as our position,"

"What is uncomfortable about our position Light-kun?"

"You cannot possibly be that socially inept!"

"Would you feel better if I did this?"

"Ngh-no!"

"You're blushing Light-kun,"

"Unlike you I have an awareness of social boundr- stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"Moving!"

"I thought you wanted me to move,"

"Not. Like. That."

"It would appear this situation is not to your liking, however there is a simple way we can absolve this,"

"How?"

"Confess,"

"Oh for- I am not Kira!"

"Confess Kira-kun,"

"No!"

"Is that a –No, you're not Kira- or –No, you won't confess to being Kira?"

"You want me to be Kira!"

"Everything adds to it, it would make logical sense so yes, perhaps I do want you to be Kira,"

"Is. That. All. You. Want?"

"What is Kira suggesting?"

"For the last time I am not Kira and how can you just do that and not- ngh- for fucks sake L!"

"Confess,"

"You-just-don't-oh-god,"

"Now,"

"No!"

"Do it,"

"I'm not-"

"Telling the truth?"

"Stop this now!"

"Or what? You'll kill me?"

"Goddammit!"

"I am almost impressed Light-kun, physical assault should be almost impossible from that position,"

"You deserved it"

"Chance that your are Kira- forty seven percent"

"What the-! Wait, it was fifty one percent this morning,"

"Kira would have blushed less,"

"I hate you so much,"

"So does Kira- forty nine percent,"

"Do you have any intention of getting off me before the task force gets here?"

"I can be very persistent,"

While I cannot honestly say what inspired this fic, I will admit I had more fun than could possibly be justifed writing it,

~Eyes