I
"You're no Breakdown, though I must confess I have always admired your lustrous finish."
Starscream's shocked yet humble face gave Knock Out an intense tingling in his spine, and he looked away. And at that very moment, Knock Out realized what had made him say that, why he felt those were the right and most important words to say to Starscream were they to die in this here and now.
He had a flashback to when Starscream was in command of the Decepticons and Megatron was lying as a piece of scrap on his operating table. Starscream approached him about Megatron's state, implying he wished Megatron to stay that way, or better yet, be terminated completely. Knock Out saw his chance, and implied to Starscream that he wished to be second in command under Starscream. He did not think anything back then about why he really wanted to have that position – it seemed only natural for any of the higher-ranked Decepticons to want to rise in the ranks, they all did. Of course, even then he knew somewhere in the back of his head that there was more to it in his case, but he did not acknowledge it or even realize there was anything to acknowledge. Nor did he question why he felt that Megatron's demise would be a positive thing. He had only acted on his feelings, as he always did.
But now it all seemed clear. Of course he wanted to get rid of Megatron; Megatron was always the focus of everything Starscream did. Starscream's only calling was Megatron, be it through love, fear, or hate. Not only did Knock Out hate Megatron for treating Starscream so badly, but because he felt like Starscream was obsessively bound by Megatron forever. Knock Out wanted so deeply to see Starscream act out his potential without it being driven by his feelings towards Megatron. For once, he wanted to see Starscream take command, not because he wanted revenge on Megatron or to please him, but only for taking command in itself.
He had always wanted for Starscream to be happy, but for as long as Starscream only cared for Megatron, Knock Out saw no way for him to ever be genuinely happy. Megatron's approval of Starscream's competence only created a fleeting and false happiness, and the same went for the revenges Starscream inflicted on Megatron.
And this was all because of that one feeling that he had felt for only one other person. He had loved Breakdown – there was no question about it. They had teamed up on Cybertron and was a great team too, in the battlefield as well as in the lab. Interfacing was one of their favorite pastimes, and having been at it for so long together, they had known each others bodies intimately. But however deeply he had loved and still loved Breakdown it did not affect the fact that he loved another Cybertronian too.
But Knock Out and Starscream weren't equals like he and Breakdown had been, and as things had turned out, never would be. It was way too late for that now, since Starscream had come back to Megatron, begging on his knees to be accepted back on the ship. If it weren't for those meddling Autobots they could have managed to get rid of Megatron back when they had the chance, and he could have been serving under Lord Starscream, seeing him in his full potential, with Breakdown still alive, and without Shockwave to steal his position.
But he knew that Starscream would never again give up Megatron. Yet Knock Out could not help to still harbor these feelings towards Starscream. And having stated them almost plainly.. Starscream of course knew of him and Breakdown, and having compared them like this.. He felt embarrassed, because he realized Starscream probably understood the implications of what he had just said. And if they did survive, which was probable, would it change anything between them?