Author's notes: I decided to write a series of unconnected Stan/Kyle/Wendy oneshots because that pairing doesn't get enough coverage around here. I hope you all enjoy them. I don't own South Park. Lastly, the characters are aged up to be 18 or older in these stories.

...

"Do you know anything about football?"

Bebe laughed into her phone. "You were on the cheerleading team but don't know anything about the game?"

"No. I was on the squad for extracurricular activities; I could give two shits about the sport." Wendy tried searching the internet for information as she spoke with her friend, but it was like reading a foreign language. Which meant she'd eventually pick it up just as she had Japanese and Spanish. Still, having someone who could explain it to her now in simpler terms wouldn't have hurt.

"So then why do you want to learn it?"

"For Stan. He's been ignoring me a lot lately. I think he's in one of those Fantasy Football Leagues online. He's got some folder called 'Football Stuff' and it gets bigger like every week."

"Oh yeah, Clyde's in one of those."

"Yeah well I'm tired of it. He's on the laptop all the time. Sometimes he won't even go to bed with me even when I'm being really obvious about it. I was thinking if I could learn the stupid game maybe we could use it to reconnect. Like a cool girlfriend bonding thing, you know?"

"Just so long as you don't ask him to explain the game to you. Guys hate that."

"I know. That's where I was hoping you'd come in."

"I'll try. Open his folder. You can learn which players he has and stuff and go from there."

"Thanks."

Feeling rejuvenated from the ray of hope that was Bebe's familiarity, Wendy willed herself to sit up in bed. Her free hand clicked through the computer's windows until coming to her boyfriend's 'Football Stuff' folder.

"Huh, that's weird. The first thing in here's a picture of Kyle. He's in a Broncos jersey with no pants on."

Bebe laughed for the second time. "Probably some drunk inside joke." she guessed. "...Does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Yes." Wendy learned that much from the second picture: An aroused Kyle wearing only a Broncos helmet, his head leaned suggestively against the headboard of a bed, as if daring the viewer to ram his well-protected skull against it.

"Hot." Bebe said.

"I'll call you back."

Wendy hung up. She glared at the laptop screen as she scrolled through the folder's contents. Sure enough, it was all pictures. All of Kyle. All provocative. Most not even football-themed. Wendy got out of bed and headed for the walk-in closet to find a change of clothes.

...

"Wendy?" Stan called repeatedly as he moved throughout their shared apartment. No sign of her. Oh well. Stan sat down in bed; deciding to explore the Web for a while to unwind after work. His eyes lit up when he spotted a new e-mail from Kyle in his inbox. A new e-mail featuring an attached photograph. Score! Stan's jeans were quickly discarded. He saved the image to his trusty 'Football Stuff' folder, then went to actually view it.

Kyle was bent over a bed.

And crying.

With a pair of panties stuffed into his mouth and a football shoved deep up his ass. A larger-sized Canadian football at that. Standing over him was a glaring but still sexy-looking Wendy, who had decked herself out in a Broncos cheerleader uniform. Minus the underwear, which were visible between Kyle's teeth.

Stan's skin paled. His hardon quickly softened in fear. "Oh shit..." Hesitantly his eyes returned to the actual e-mail message, which contained some previously ignored text along with the picture.

"Since you're so interested in "football" I decided to learn all about it. Feel bad? You should! He told me everything. Your little boyfriend has cost me a lot of sex lately. He'll be making that up to me tonight. After all, your hobby is my hobby now. ;) Don't like it? Tough. Be gone or asleep on the couch when I get back tomorrow. And be prepared to do some serious begging.

Love, Wendy.

PS: Go Broncos."

Stan sighed and closed the laptop. He gathered up some of Wendy's excessive pillows from the bed along with a blanket, moving for the living room's couch.

He just hoped that once the smoke cleared he could get all the details about what happened!