For T'Challa to say you were incapable to love would be false. Believable, but false. Coming up alongside Erik in the Oakland streets of the 80s, you only loved one thing- it was freedom. Growing up, your "mother" would trick and lie to you- pretending she cared about you only for you to give her money when she wanted to hang on International and get high off of drugs. Your saw your father a couple of times throughout your life, but there was no relationship there. It seems as if he only called or dropped by to clear his guilty conscience and to make him feel like a better father- a better man. But, even at a young age, you could see straight through the bullshit.

One man you did look up to, though, was your neighbor. He introduced himself to you as Brother Njobu when you were eight and told you he has a son who was nine named Erik. Brother Njobu basically took you in and bought you clothes to put on your back and food for your belly as your own mother neglected to do so. His wife, Sister Erianne, put you into school and helped you with homework and educated you on your femininity, social powers, and ways the world would try to bring you down as a woman. She even taught you and Erik how to fight. You saw her as the perfect mother and there was no doubt in your mind that you wished she was the one you could call your own. So when the day came that the FBI busted in their home and dragged her away, you cried and cried from your hiding spot in their apartment as the woman you idolized was ripped away from her family.

If it was even possible, you and Erik became more attached at the hip, so when Erik and his father disappeared at the age of eleven you were indeed lost.

You were stone cold as everyone in your life left you alone… even Brother Njobu's best friend James left without notice. By the age of 13, your mother had been dead for three years now. You wanted to grieve, but you couldn't feel for someone that you deeply despised. Even if she was your mom. In school you fought everyone who you thought just looked at you the wrong way causing people to fear you and not want to be your friend. Not like you cared, though.

Flashing forward to 2016, you heard someone walking in the hall besides you, but you didn't pay them no attention. Your twenty four inches of Brazilian Deep Curly extensions swung over your shoulder freely as you squinted your eyes trying to get your key in the lock of your childhood home. "Stupid shit!" You hissed, jiggling the key trying to force it in the lock hole.

"Still stubborn and impatient as hell" You heard a deep voice rasp behind you followed with an even deeper chuckle. You rolled your eyes and stood up straight, flipping your hair back from out of your face. Your hand rested on your hip as you fixed your glare on the man in front of you. The smirk that played on this man's lips looked way too familiar. The sight of your childhood best friend- your only friend- flashed through your mind. It was Erik.

You froze in place, your jammed lock and key situation completely abandoned from your mind. You took everything about him in. His hair was in messy locs that framed his face. His face. His brown skin radiating even in the dim, flickering, lights of the building. He stood tall and proud, legs spread, arms crossed over his chest with his shoulders squared. The posture of a king.

"Oh, so you can't speak now?" He teased stepping forward. Your mouth was suddenly dry and your emotions were racing. The one thing with abandonment was that you were used to people leaving…. but you never dealt with them coming back.

"Erik?" You questioned stupidly. You heard your voice quiver, but you didn't care. Not in this moment. Apparently he heard it too.

His arms dropped from his chest and he used one to rub the back of his neck. "C'mon, don't cry man" He plead, his own voice getting lost.

Too late.

That was two years ago. Two years ago Erik came back into your life for just three short months before he left again. You hated yourself for how broken you became,again, and you vowed that you would never let anyone in again- even if they were just a friend. If Erik had no problem doing it, then you knew anyone else wouldn't.

And again, you broke your promise to yourself by getting romantically involved with T'Challa. You two met when you got a mysterious phone call in the middle of the night from someone named W'Kabi saying that Erik wanted to see her before he was sentenced to death (per his request). Long story short, you ended up in Africa pleading for them to spare his life when you caught the attention of the King. You were babbling and begging him to spare your old friend's life when the King just calmed you down and told you that Erik is the one who said he would rather die than live as a prisoner. You marched up to Erik and slapped the shit out of him. Needless to say, Erik is still alive.

"My Lady, are you alright?" T'Challa's smooth voice called you from your memories. You couldn't fight the small smile that played at your lips at the nickname. He never called you by your name but always something so sweet. You turned from your favorite spot in the whole palace, the cliff that sat right in front of the large Bast statue, to stare at the man who had literally stolen your heart. Just seeing his face brought you an immense amount of happiness. A happiness that made up for ten years of loneliness. As he approached, you held out your hand from him to grab which he did with no hesitation. He could read you easily and you absolutely hated it. You simply was not used to it.

Your love is like, wild fire

I know you're afraid love

"I'm just thinking" You responded, not wanting to go into too much detail. Although he knew everything about you, you still tried hiding things from him. Things that made you vulnerable that you didn't want him to worry about.

Now you see

You ain't acting like you supposed to be, baby

And I know love can be so hard at times baby girl

But if you trust me it'll be okay

He let your hand go, and your face dropped with worry. You were about to protest until you felt his arms wrap tightly around your waist and pull you flush against his front. "You can talk to me about anything, my love" He started. "I don't want you standing around with a heavy mind when I am just around the corner, alright? Don't shut me out" He whispered firmly into your ear before kissing your temple.

Won't you gimme lil luv

When the rain come pouring

Why won't you gimme lil luv

When the sun comes shining

"I love you!" You blurted out. Your declaration was so sudden that it even shocked him. He froze in his spot when he heard the words forcefully escape your lips. He had said it plenty times to you, but hearing you say it made him want to run a lap of joy. His face craned around your shoulder to look down at you, but you avoided his gaze and instead played with his fingers nervously. "I don't mean to shut you out I swear I don't" you began rambling "I just…. don't know how to express it. I get lost in my thoughts way too often and can't really put it out in words"

Gimme lil luv

When the sun is on the horizon

"I love you, T'challa. So much" She whispered to him

Why won't you gimme lil luv

When the sky turns blue

Ok honestly, yall, I don't know how I never posted this on this specific website (I write different things on different websites just to keep my fandoms seperate) and accidently only posted this on Tumblr *whoops*

Anyways I may *most certainly do* have an undying love for song-fics because I am super connected with music.

I think I am type- rambling.

Most definitely am.

If yall want, you can hit me up with song requests *or not, I am probably gonna still write them anyways, lol*

Ok, im embarrassing myself, bye