Warning for explicit discussion of past emotional child abuse.
Lena was sprawled comfortably on Kara's couch, her feet propped on the coffee table like it was no big deal, her shoulder and the entire outside of her arm brushing against Kara's, eating crappy pizza and listening to Alex and Kara reminisce. When Kara had invited her to her monthly sisters' night in, Lena had almost refused, sure she would be intruding, that it would be strained and awkward. At the moment, though, she couldn't imagine feeling any more at ease.
"Fuck, Kara, remember the early years while we were still sharing a room?" Alex was saying, gesturing with her droopy pizza slice. "I was vicious. I'd do anything to get you out of there. Did you know I only started playing the drums because I knew you couldn't stand the noise?"
Kara laughed and shoved at Alex playfully. "I knew it! You were so bad at it, it had to be on purpose!"
Alex sniffed. "I was pretty good, actually. I only pretended to be tone deaf to maximize my annoyance potential."
"Right," Kara teased. "So when you were always horribly off key every single time you sang me Happy Birthday, that was intentional, too?"
Alex bowed her head swept her arm in a grand gesture. "All part of my master plan."
Lena laughed along with them, feeling included, amazingly relaxed. "Oh, I remember that phase, as a teenager," she said, the words bubbling up with barely any filter, eager to share some personal piece of her experience, just like Kara and Alex had. "When I'd just always want to hole up in my room and listen to music and read—um—you know. Assorted fiction. My mom would get so frustrated about me wasting my time. Eventually she had my bedroom door removed altogether. I'd get so angry about it, ha! I used to hide in Lex's room so I could get some privacy. Then she got rid of his door too. He certainly wasn't happy about that, even though I pointed out to him that he wasn't even home that often. After that I'd camp out in the bathroom whenever I could get away with it."
She chuckled a little as she finished her story, lifting her eyes to find Kara and Alex's expressions appearing not only unamused, but downright troubled.
Lena's smile faltered. She found herself crossing her arms defensively, a gesture she rarely had need for in Kara's company. "What? Don't tell me you've never done some embarrassing things in private when you were teenagers."
"Oh, no, believe me, we all have," Alex assured her, posture relaxing slightly. "When Kara got cranky, for example, she used to—"
Kara waved her hands frantically, rushing to interrupt. "Ah-pa-pa, Alex, thanks for that, no need to elaborate, thank you."
Alex snorted. "Anyway, yeah, we won't be giving you any shit for that. But, uh. Did your mom really take away your bedroom door? Permanently?" She eyed Lena with obvious concern.
Lena frowned at her, feeling intensely uncomfortable. She's been trying her whole life to fit in, with her adoptive family, other students, older colleagues. She hated it whenever she'd inadvertently reveal something unusual about herself. "Yes," she admitted, clearing her throat. "I, um, get the feeling yours didn't?"
"Of course not," Kara told her softly, covering her hand with a palm. Usually Lena couldn't get enough positive physical contact, especially with Kara, but she was too tense to appreciate it right then. "Everyone deserves to have access to privacy."
"Well, it was her house, her door, her property," Lena said, the familiar rationalization jumping automatically to her lips, almost without her cognizance.
Kara and Alex shook their heads in unison, and Lena was suddenly hit with an inexplicable, intense need to hear them disagree. "It may have been your mom's house, but it was your room," Kara said, vehement, frowning. "She had no right to do that to you."
"A parent has a responsibility to provide care for their child," Alex added. "Privacy is an important emotional need. It was wrong of her to deprive you of that."
She'd wanted them to say it, but having heard it, Lena just felt… bad. She swallowed convulsively several times and rubbed her forehead. She worried she might start to cry. Even more disturbingly, for reasons she couldn't explain, she was beginning to feel a little… angry.
"I… I guess I always believed that, on some level," she admitted. "But it never felt like it was something I could disagree on."
Kara squeezed her hand. She had such a firm yet gentle grip. Unwavering.
"She was so matter-of-fact about it," Lena continued, gaining momentum. "I was disobedient, frivolous, lazy, so of course I didn't deserve to have that door. It was never even a question. It wasn't a question for you, either, was it?"
Kara shook her head, looking so god damn empathetic.
"Our parents would never have threatened us with something like that," Alex said softly, almost apologetically.
Lena wasn't sure how to reconcile that. Two totally opposite realities, in each of which the other viewpoint had never even been considered. She knew Kara was an alien, but right then the Danvers sisters both seemed like they were from a different planet.
"Lena," Kara murmured quietly, squeezed her hand again. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Lena sighed, deflating. "Let's, uh, change the subject," she offered, chuckling slightly, already regretting her brief flash of misplaced anger.
Alex nodded, opening her mouth to do just that, when Kara cut her off before she could start by physically throwing herself at Lena and tackling her in a fierce hug.
"Lena, you deserved that door, you deserve a hundred doors. I'll get you a big fucking door for your birthday." She pressed a disorienting, lingering, seemingly endless kiss to the side of Lena's head, just above her jaw, and draped herself back over her, allowing her entire weight to rest on top of Lena, heavy and comforting and alive. "Alex, get over here," she ordered.
Lena might have pointed out that she had plenty of highly secure doors of her own, and that Alex certainly didn't have to hug her if she didn't want to. But Alex had already wrapped her arms around both Kara and her, and Kara was rubbing her nose in Lena's hair in a way that made her shiver, made the hairs on her arms stand on end and the knot in her belly loosen; so Lena closed her eyes instead, and let the thought 'This feels like family' settle in her mind, shining, undisturbed.