A/N: This fic was written at 6:00, on a rainy day, when it was just starting to get dark, after I had been alone in the house all day, in reverse reaction to an extremely funny fic. Which still doesn't give an excuse for it, but which might explain things a little.
PS: Yes, that's me.
Warnings: Psychological, mind-bending, mentions of suicide.
A thunderstorm swept over the Destiny Islands, drenching them with much-needed rain and the occasional flash of lightning.
Sora sat in a darkened room, staring at a knife. His knife. Waiting.
Voices came in from outside the room. (In the hall? In his head? He couldn't tell.) Kairi's: "Don't do this, Sora!" Riku's: "Don't do it, Sora. There are other ways to leave Destiny Islands. Just get on the raft with us, PLEASE!"
The room was a clear vault of blue, darkness, and red. Very little red, but red all the same. The edge of the blade shone dully with it. Sora contemplated this and ignored the voices outside. Or inside. He really couldn't tell.
Why am I doing this?
He flipped the blade over.
What's going through my head?
He stared at the blade, and in it caught his reflection. His eyes were arrested in their movement, staring into themselves staring into themselves staring into themselves...
Oh yeah. It was her.
It had all made sense when she came.
He and Riku had been gathering wood for the raft, their raft that would take them off the Islands to adventure. (And the Riku-voice was shouting, shouting something about the raft, not the only way, but Sora didn't hear.) Kairi was coming with them, of course. Sora had decided that the day she appeared on the island.
They had seen a girl, lying on the beach, her brown hair spread across the sand. Sora had dropped his share of the wood and run to wake her up. When she came to, she couldn't remember anything about who she was or how she had gotten there, but seemed to be happy just the same. They named her Kira.
One day, a few months after she arrived, she and Sora were sitting on the beach, watching the waves. It was a beautiful summer day, with the sun shining and the palm trees swaying. (Thunder crashed outside. Sora remained oblivious.)
"It sure is a nice day, huh?" Sora said.
"Mm-hm."
Sora glanced over at Kira. She was sitting with her head on her knees, staring out across the water with a far-away expression. Something about her smile was a bit... unsettling.
Sora shook his head. There was no reason to think that. After all, she had been very helpful in completing the raft, and she always seemed very happy just to be here. He decided to stop thinking at all and just enjoy the breeze. He was succeeding until she spoke.
"I'm going to commit suicide soon, Sora."
"Huh?" Sora stared at her, an icy chill running down his back.
"It's nothing against you, or the Destiny Islands," she continued calmly, still gazing into the distance with that creepy smile on her face. Then she turned to look at him, smiling. "It's just that... I feel I should be moving on."
"W-what are you talking about?" Sora stammered, feeling a dread growing in the back of his mind.
Kira turned her gaze away from him and stood up, watching the waves. "I committed suicide to get here, you know."
Sora felt frozen, unable to move as she continued to speak.
Her gaze turned inward, and her smile held a bitter sweetness at some memory only she could see. "This place... I loved it."
"It was a story in my world. A place you could only see by playing a game, or reading a book. But it seemed so peaceful, so far away from my life." She grimaced. "People said it wasn't real, it was just a fantasy. But I couldn't accept that."
She paused and focused her gaze on a cloud. "Eventually I couldn't stand living there any longer, and I killed myself. Looking back, it was probably a rash action, since I had no idea of what would happen next. I don't think I was thinking at the time." Her gaze softened and she looked back at Sora. "But look what it led to."
She threw her hands up to the sky and laughed. "When I woke up, I was here. I realized that somehow, by dying in my world, I had been brought here. Meeting you all... living on the island... it's been wonderful here."
Her hands dropped to her sides and she smiled maliciously. "But the novelty of this place has worn off, and I can sense destiny approaching. So maybe if I kill myself again, I can go to another place."
Sora's head was whirling, and he fought to make everything make sense. "But how do you know that this isn't reality?"
She glanced back at him and laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, come on, Sora. Don't tell me you haven't had any strange dreams lately?"
"Ummm..." Sora said, unwilling to tell her about the weird glimpses he'd seen in his dreams.
Kira's eyes flashed and she smiled knowingly. "You're caught in this dream-world just like me, Sora. You have a destiny here."
"No. That's... not true," Sora muttered, unsure of what to think.
Kira continued. "Or maybe you're also dreaming. Maybe you've already met your destiny, and this is a memory you're stuck in. Your friends are probably watching you right now, wishing you would wake up and speak to them." She paused and watched Sora, who couldn't meet her eyes.
"Kill yourself, Sora."
Sora's head jerked up and he stared at her, anguished and confused.
She smiled and walked up the beach toward the house where she was staying. "That's the only way you'll be able to find out the truth..."
Sora was left standing on the beach, numb, as she walked away. He wasn't able to do anything to stop her.
Soon after, she was discovered hanging from the ceiling of her room. Everyone was shocked and made a big deal about it - everyone except Sora. On the contrary, he became more withdrawn and silent, shutting himself off. His friends noticed and worried about him. And now he was sitting in his room, staring at the knife.
"Kill yourself, Sora... that's the only way... you can find out the truth..."
"Don't do it, Sora!"
"There are other ways off the island..."
"Kill yourself..."
The cacophony echoed in his head. Sora sat there quietly, looking at the knife. Eventually the voices quieted down, leaving only the rain.
And Sora put down the knife, and lived out a happy life in the Islands, forgetting about the episode...
And Sora put down the knife and went to the door, heedless of the Heartless lurking outside his bedroom window...
And Sora plunged the knife into his chest, crying in despair when he found himself in darkness...
And Sora plunged the knife into his chest, rejoining his friends who cried out in happiness to see him...
And Sora was outside himself, staring down at all four choices. A shadowy figure whispered in his ear.
You have four choices. Two are in your control, two are not. Once you make the choice between Life and Death, these are the outcomes:
You can live in the Destiny Islands for the rest of your life, happy and unaware of your destiny.
You can meet your destiny when it comes, no matter what the pain and hardships.
You can die, and find out that it was all for nothing and you really are dead.
Or you can die and wake up from this dream world.
Which will you choose?...
And Sora was back in his body, staring at the knife.
The rain had stopped. Everything was hushed, quiet. The voices had faded into the background - if they had ever existed at all.
Slowly, Sora reached for the knife. Then he froze.
The world held its breath, watching.
Suddenly Sora spun around and glared. The reader's heart gave a jolt, because he was staring straight at them.
"It's not your life to mess with," he said. "It's my own."
Then he reached out and turned off the computer.