Title: Stars ("Catharsis" missing scene)
Categories: General
Disclaimer: Everything related to Transformers belongs to Hasbro. This story is for fun only.
Rating: T
Summary: The worries usually come out at night
Missing scene placement: This would take place in middle of Chapter Three, Sam's first night in his new quarters with Bumblebee at the base.
Thank you to Graycalls for Beta work, advice, and hand-holding.
*****
The minute Sam's head hit the pillow, he was wide awake.
He logically knew he should be exhausted, and his body was indeed tired, but his mind was far too consumed with thoughts to settle. So he lay in his new bed, trying very hard to not think about anything at all, and of course that just led to all sorts of thoughts.
It was Sam's third night at the new Autobase since his rescue from Sector Seven, and his first night in his new quarters. The first night, he had basically passed out, aided, he suspected, by some of the pills Ratchet had made him take. Last night, Sam had pretty much, he admitted, cried himself to sleep. But now, he had felt ok during the day, had been happy to move into his new quarters, felt safe, and yet now he was unable to relax.
Maybe part of it was the bed, he decided. It was entirely new, from the frame to the sheets. And while it would ordinarily be considered rather cool, king sized and all, he couldn't help but miss his small bed at home. A home that no longer existed.
He turned over, looking around the room. Maybe it was the lack of windows, he thought. His bedroom at home had huge windows and he had always liked to watch the moonlight. Here, he felt and was safe, but perhaps it was a bit claustrophobic. His mind racing wildly, it reminded him of the underground room he had been kept in at Sector Seven.
No, there were two important differences in the room, he reminded himself firmly. One small one, and one very large difference. Mojo and Bumblebee.
Mojo had settled in quickly, snug and content in his new bed beside Sam's. He was dozing peacefully, his tiny paws occasionally twitching a little as he imagined himself running. Sam had to smile as he leaned over the bed, watching his pet. He had always suspected that Mojo dreamed about chasing and catching cats, since the neighborhood cats had always enjoyed tormenting the tiny dog.
A soft noise made Sam look up, and he looked at his larger guardian. Bumblebee crept closer, his antenna twitching. "Sam, are you alright?" he asked. "You should be sleeping."
Sam sighed and sat up, pushing the covers aside. "I'm alright, Bee," he said. "Just can't shut off the mind."
Blue optics blinked in confusion. "Humans can shut off their minds?" Sam had to laugh at himself, shaking his head.
"No, it's an expression of speech. I'm tired, but can't stop thinking, and sometimes that prevents you from actually relaxing and falling asleep."
Bumblebee did some searching on the internet, downloading information on human sleep patterns, and simultaneously contacted Ratchet. The medic confirmed the guardian's initial findings and sent a data burst of instructions. The Autobot's conversation took only a few seconds and during that time Sam gotten out of bed and checked on Mojo. He looked up and saw Bumblebee offering a big yellow hand. After a moment's hesitation, Sam accepted and crawled into the offered hand. Bee grabbed a blanket from the bed, sat down and settled his young charge on his lap, wrapping the blanket around him.
Sam sighed, but accepted the pampering without fuss. Without fully realizing it, he snuggled against the scout's metal, seeking the warm heat and comfort. There was comfortable silence for a while, Bee knowing Sam would speak when he needed to.
"I miss them, Bee," Sam finally said quietly. "I know I sound like a baby, but I want my Mom and Dad."
"I do not think you sound like a sparkling, Sam. You sound like someone who has lost his creators far too early."
Sam hugged himself, starring at the walls of the room. "I just want to see them one last time, you know?"
Bee hummed in understanding. "I think they are still with you, Sam. Alive in your heart, and in your actions."
The teen frowned. "I know I should believe that, but it's just….pretty hard to accept right now."
"It will be difficult for some time, Sam. But you are not alone, and never will be." Bee carefully tightened his hold for a moment, a large hug to the teenager.
Sam nodded, and let his attention wander, trying to find a new topic. "This is really a great room, Bee. Thank you."
"Um, yet you cannot relax?"
"It's just…pretty different from my old room. And it kind of reminds me of the room Sector Seven had me in."
Bee stiffened noticeably at the mention of the secret group. It was already deeply ingrained in his processors to dislike and distrust anything related to Sector Seven. "How does it remind you of that?" Bee commed Optimus and Wheeljack, alerting the newly arrived inventor that changes to the room might be needed the next day.
"Its nothing bad," Sam hastened to reassure his guardian. "There's just no windows. They kept me underground, and I never realized how much I miss the windows I had at home. I used to love watching the stars."
Ah! Sam's quarters had been designed for security, and windows had indeed been deemed a security risk by Ironhide. But they had failed to take into account the emotions of the young human. Bee sincerely doubted that either Optimus or Ironhide would approve installing windows, but perhaps there was something he could do.
Sam sat up in surprise and blinked when a projection of stars suddenly appeared on the ceiling above them. He looked over and saw that Bee was somehow emitting a hologram projection like a 3-D movie. He stared, fascinated at the display, seeing totally unfamiliar constellations. "Is this your home system?" he asked.
"Yes," Bee answered, sound rather wistful. There was a slight change in the display, a huge planet appearing. "Cybertron," Bee sighed, "as it used to be."
"It's beautiful," Sam whispered.
"Yes, and so is your system." Bee did some rapid calculations, triangulating the direction Sam's bedroom windows had faced, and the season of the solar cycle, and the display changed to what Sam would have see out his old bedroom windows on this night.
"Wow," Sam whispered. He smiled, feeling an instant warm connection, and his body relaxed. Without fully realizing it, he stretched out, lying down across Bee's lap so he could view the ceiling comfortably. There was a comfortable silence for a time, and Sam smiled.
"Do you think it's sort of odd that I always loved watching the stars, and then you guys came from the stars?"
Bee made a soft amused sound. "Perhaps it is further proof of your destiny with us," he agreed. He carefully shifted his weight, ensuring that Sam was able to stretch out and relax.
Sam yawned, his eyes starting to blink a little. It really seemed like he was back at home, watching the stars and he relaxed further. "When I was little, I used to have really bad nightmares. Mom or Dad would always stay with me to keep me company. I think that's when I started watching the stars, because I would be afraid to close my eyes, and we would watch the sky. Mom even bought a book on constellations so we could study it together at night."
"They loved you very much," Bee murmured. "And they are still with you."
Sam nodded, his eyes now sleepily watching the projected stars and moonlight, his body and mind relaxing. Before long, he was sound asleep. Bumblebee contentedly waited a bit longer before gently transferring Sam to his bed, and kept watch over him.
The next day, Wheeljack was delighted to install a detailed hologram system that would ensure that each night Sam could see the stars and moonlight. Every night he felt the presence of his parents, and slept easily, knowing they were still with him.
THE END