Five Things to Know When Dating House
By Makai Goddess Ookami
Pairing(s): Gregory House x Robert Chase
Rating: PG
Warnings: Slash, Mentions of Sex
Summary: There are five things one needs to know when dating House, as absurd as they may seem.
Disclaimer: I don't own House, M.D., as it belongs to its respective owners (whom I am oblivious of). I don't own Inside The Actor's Studio, Power Rangers, Trading Spaces or the Sci Fi Channel, Playstation2, or X-Box 360 either. (I do own a copy of both systems though).
Rants: This is my first House, M.D. fanfic, which means it will probably be on the rather... weak side. However, I do my best. As for where this came from, I think it hit me while watching "Inside The Actor's Studio" with Hugh Laurie. Yum. Smexy-ness. Note- I have nothing against any of the shows mentioned, or game systems or any of that shit... I happen to like Trading Spaces...
House is always right, even when he's not.
Chase hates talking to House; because he knows whatever he says will be blatantly ignored and misinterpreted just to spite him. Especially when he's right. When he's right, it's an amazing thing with House. Unless of course House was wrong, then it seems as if whatever had been said hadn't, and House was suddenly the intelligent, right one. It was a confusing thing that took Chase a while to get used to, and for the longest time he couldn't do it. Hell, he still couldn't do it. If House said the sky was purple, then the sky was purple, no matter what a million other scientists said who might have spent their whole life on the subject. House was always right. Like the time House left the door open and the cat came in. He said Chase had left it open, and if Chase had wanted to stay, he could do nothing but take the blame.
If House says 'now', he means now.
Sometimes House wants to go to bed at nine, sometimes at three in the morning. When he said it was bedtime, it was bedtime. Most of the time he'd let Chase stay, because bed often meant sex. Even if it wasn't bedtime and House wanted sex, Chase had to give up what he was doing to satisfy the other's desires. Not that he could complain, it was good sex if he stopped to think about it, it just pissed him off that every thing was done on what he had come to dub "HST" (short for House Standard Time) because there was no way that House operated on a normal time chart. Like, after breakfast when they both had days off together, once breakfast was over, it was time for Chase to leave, if he had been lucky enough to stay the night. Most of the time after having sex and just laying their for an hour, House would tell Chase to leave now, and if he dilly-dallied, it would be days before House would let him back over.
House won't say please, but you must do it anyway.
If the remote is at the end of the coffee table and House at the opposite end of the sofa, Chase knows House will watch whatever happens to be on the channel because he's to lazy to change the channel. Chase has caught House watching Soap Operas this way (not to mention Power Rangers, Trading Spaces and the Sci Fi Channel). He'll demand the remote when Chase arrives, and Chase does it because he can't stomach the show that's on. Sometimes he tells Chase to cook something for him to eat (because he happens to be damned good at it) and he will, even though House has nothing to work with. Hell, he's even done House's grocery shopping on occasion because House tells him too (but he doesn't always mind this, because he can buy stuff to work with when House tells him to cook). Even when it comes to House being miserable and wanting to be left alone, Chase is forced to obey, because he doesn't want to lose whatever it is exactly he has with the other male.
House is always on top.
It didn't seem to matter what they were doing, House was always on top. It was amusing at first, but after a while it got to the point where Chase would argue for something different (and of course he'd lose). At first it was just sex, because that's all they had been interested in at first, but now everything was about it. When they were playing video games, and the screen was split screened, House had to be on top (but since he was normally first this was easily taken care of). Even on Playstation2 House had gotten, and the 360 he hadn't officially bought (not that he stole it, him and Chase had a bet and upon Chase had to pay for half of it) his controller had to be in the first open spot (and since the machines stood on their side, that meant on top). Needless to say, it got real annoying, real fast.
If you tell House 'I love you', he runs away, even if he loves you too.
So technically, he hadn't meant to tell the other male that. It was the most embarrassing thing he'd ever done. It just kind of spilled out after an argument, and House demanding to know why Chase cared so much. The older male paused, staring at the blonde with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. He replied with a quick 'no you don't' and was gone. He slipped out of Chase's life faster then water in a strainer. Not only was he hurt, but he was lost. All his life had seemed to revolve around the bitter man, at work and at home. Now, he wouldn't even talk to him. Wilson said it's because he's afraid of commitment, and this long drawn out speech about how it wasn't Chase's fault. Then, as an after thought, added a 'he loved you too'. Chase didn't believe him, even when Wilson pointed out what should have been obvious. Wilson gave up; like Chase wished he had so long ago.