POKEBALL Z

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Not even Zarbon- yet ^_^

It was another disturbingly bright and sunny day in the Pokeworld. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing, and sharks were devouring random people off the coastline. The writers had gotten bored with the regular soundtrack, so they'd replaced all that jazzed up music from the game with Midnight Oil songs, and the occasional 'You're The Voice' by John Farnham. All in all, it was a sickly sweet kind of day, as was oh so common. And, just for kicks, Team Rocket have just stolen all of Team Twerp's Pokeballs except Pikachu and Vulpix, and is now in a stand off against Ash and co. But this time, they've got a trick up their sleeve

Ash: Get them, Pikachu!
Jessie: Not so fast, twerp! It's time for our secret weapon!
James: *tosses pokeball* Pokeball, go!
*A bright flash of light emits, and there in front of them stands*
Frieza: Friezaaaaa!
Ash: *pulls out his tremendously overused Pokedex* What's that?
Pokedex: Frieza in fourth form- the homocidal maniac Pokemon. This Pokemon can't kill, but can easily blast you into the next dimension. (insert random DBZ fans bashing FUNimation here)
James: Alright, Frieza, use your lipstick attack!
Frieza: Friezaaaa! *walks over to Pikachu, pulls out a handy-dandy tube of black lipstick, and gives it a makeover*
Pikachu: Pika chaaa! (Ahhh! Getitoffame, getitoffame!) *runs away to find some make up remover*
Frieza: *gives a 'Victory' sign*
Ash: Oh no, Pikachu!
Brock: I'll handle this one- go Vulpix! *throws Pokeball*
Vulpix: Vuuuuul!
Ash: But why didn't Team Rocket steal Vulpix when they stole the rest of our Pokemon?
Jessie: It's simple, really. We didn't take Vulpix because-

Voiceover: Who's that Pokemon? *silhouette of a Pokemon is shown, then the station cuts to a commercial*

Voiceover: *returning from commercial* It's Annoying Loser! *reveals silhouette, which is really Tracey*
Tracey: I resent that! But it's true

Back on the battle scene
Jessie: And THAT'S why we didn't take Vulpix!
Team Twerp: Ohhhhh!
Brock: Well, now that that's sorted out- Vulpix, use your flamethrower!
Vulpix: *does so, and succeeds in singing Frieza*
Frieza: *groans* Oh, for the love of Kame! This is the last time I make a bet with the Ginyu Force!
James: What was that, Frieza?
Frieza: *grumbles* I mean Frieza, Frieza.
James: That's better.
Frieza: *muttering something about blowing up the planet and how he's running low on lipstick*
James: Now, use girly voice!
Frieza: *in an even girlier voice than usual* If you wannabe my lover, you have got to give, taking is too easy, but that's the way it is!
Vulpix: Vulpix! (Argh, Spice Girls!!)
Brock: Hang in there, Vulpix! Tackle it!
Vulpix: *manages to summon up the energy required, and tackles Frieza with full force*
Frieza: You cannot defeat me! I am the most powerful being in the universe and could easily destroy you blindfolded and with my hands tied behind my back and-
Brock: Fire spin!
Vulpix: *obeys, and Frieza is burned to a crisp*
Frieza: *blinks* Dang! *feeling faint*
James: Uh oh! Frieza, use agility!
Frieza: *feeling a bit wonky, but manages to fly up several feet off the ground*
James: Good! Now, transform into your third form!
Frieza: *does so, and lands in front of Vulpix*
Vulpix: Vuuuuul! Vul, vulpix! (Ommigod, it's the thing from 'Aliens'! That's my absolute favourite favourite move ever- can I cave your autograph?!)
Brock: Vulpix, use-
Vulpix: Vul vul vul! (I mean, I know that loser blew you up at the end of the movie, but your memory lives on! I have all your action figures, even the bootleg ones!)
Misty: *whilst Vulpix continues ranting and raving* I don't think it's listening to you, Brock.
Brock: Vulpix, c'mon, we gotta battle to win here!
Vulpix: Vul! (Rack off! Can't you see I'm busy? So anyway)
Brock: *sigh* I give up. *pulls out Pokeball* Vulpix, return.

Jessie: Hooray, two for two! Take that, twerps!
Misty: Don't speak to soon! It just so happens that *I* have a secret weapon that you didn't get!
Meowth: How come we missed that one?
Misty: *reaches up into her bra and pulls out a Pokeball*
Everyone: Ewwwww!
Meowth: Forget I asked!
Misty: Pokeball, go! *Tosses Pokeball. It opens to reveal*
Zarbon: Hey, what's the big idea? I was watching 'Passions'!
Misty: Zarbon, use strike a pose attack!
Zarbon: Yeah yeah, whatever.
Misty: Pardon?
Zarbon: *sigh* Zarbon, zar. *strikes a pose*
Frieza: *in fourth form again* Hah! Your pretty-boy antics won't affect me! I'm straight!
Everybody: WHAAAA?!!
Frieza: So there ^_^
Misty: Oh no! That means Zarbon's attack will have no effect
Friezaess: *is drawn like a magnet to the scene by Zarbon's posing* Hello, I'm the author! My my my, am I ever liking this! Hey Zarbon, do that thing where you flip your plait over your shoulder!
Zarbon: *sweatdrops*
Misty: Uh
Friezaess: Say, why don't you come with me for a little while? *Grabs Zarbon's hand and pulls him off-screen before he has a chance to reply*
Zarbon: Heeeeeelp!
Misty: O_o;
Meowth: Got anymore Pokemon to battle with?
Ash: Nope. You've stolen all of ours.
*An awkward silence passes between the two groups. A hoppit blows in the wind. A dust mite eats. Frieza files his nails. A large insect lands on Ash, tries to suck his brains out, but fails when it realizes he has no brain and flies off again.*
James: So that means we win?
Jessie: Looks like it.
James: Oh. Well, let's get these things to the boss then!
Jessie: Okay!
*Team Rocket and Frieza get into the Meowth balloon and set sail.*
Frieza: Hey, who's stepping on my tail?!
Meowth: Sorry.
Frieza: Grr oh well. I guess this beats being chopped up multiple times by steroid-enhanced blonde guys who use more hairspray than Jessie does. O_o

Ash: Looks like they stole all of our Pokemon.
Brock: Yeah. Damn shame 'bout that.
Team Twerp: *Sigh*
Misty: What I want to know is what happened to Zarbon?
Zarbon: *staggers back on screen, hair ruffled and covered in lipstick marks* *pants* Well this was a strange day!
Friezaess: *off-screen* Hey, come back here! I'm not finished with you yet, sexy!
Zarbon: *smiles and shrugs* Well, if you can't beat 'em! *goes back to Friezaess*

Thus Zarbon and Friezaess lived happily ever after.

THE END

Ash: Hey, that's not fair!
Brock: Yeah, this was supposed to be a fic about us and Team Rocket battling, not about you and pretty boy over there getting it off!
Tracey: Hi everyone! *a house falls out of the sky and lands on Tracey*
Friezaess: Oh, fine then! *starts typing again*

Jessie, James and Meowth presented the Pokemon they stole to the Boss, who was so pleased he forgot all their debts and gave them millions of dollars as a reward. They then retired from Team Rocket, and moved into a little house in the suburbs. Jessie and James got married, pleasing all of us Rocketshippers to no end. Team Twerp didn't know what to do after they lost their Pokemon, so they just stood around aimlessly until they died seventy years later. The occupants of the house that fell on Tracey pulled him out from under the house, and used the now flat-as-a-tack watcher as a nice throw rug. Thus everybody who deserved it lived happily ever after!

THE END! (For real this time! Now, where did Zarbon go)