Author's note: A few of you expressed an interest in finding out how Ana and Christian cope with married life. Well, we know it's not going to be "normal", right? But it got me wondering the same thing, so this story will answer that question…hopefully without too much drama.

A reminder that, in my version of their tale, the lovers were apart for three weeks, then were married eight days after getting back together. And Madeline Brandt is Ana's therapist, recommended by John Flynn.

Fusion; part of the Affinity Color collection, by Benjamin Moore

Chapter one

With a wait before her next client, Madeline is going over their file when the phone rings. Her receptionist's voice says, "A 'Vincent' on line one, Dr. Brandt. He wouldn't give his last name."

Certain of who is calling, Madeline's heart is beating a little faster as she says, "That's fine, Bea, thank you." Taking a second to calm her nerves, she then pushes the button and says, "Good afternoon, Vincent. Before you proceed, I should tell you that precautions have been taken to ensure this line is secure, but there are no guarantees, so I'd advise caution."

There's a pause and then a man's too calm voice asks, "What precautions?"

"Uh, I'm afraid I don't have enough technical knowledge to give a precise answer. But it's monitored regularly by a reputable firm, and they ensure me it's secure."

Still that icy calm when he then asks, "And this level of security extends to other areas of your practice?"

Understanding that he's asking for his wife, Madeline says, "Yes, sir. My consulting room is effectively soundproof and routinely searched for listening devices. I have a permanent security officer at the door. Every file is assigned a number. Other than in my head, the only written confirmation of who corresponds to what number is secured separately."

"What about when you need to consult other professionals for advice?"

"Well, that rarely happens. But, in the past, I have referred only to symptoms, never names or other identifying facts." When there is no reply, Madeline takes a chance and says, "Though I don't think any of that will be relevant in this case."

"Oh?"

"Yes, sir. My new client is perhaps the sanest person who's ever been in this room, and I include myself in this."

The ice finally breaks and he chuckles before saying, "With one notable exception; she's crazy about me." With a sigh, he asks, "Why the fuck did you tell her my name?"

"Uh, the background information that your therapist shared with me - thank you, for that - proved that your past was known, so I knew that wasn't an issue. I used your name to ensure that you'd call me."

It seems as if the phone in her hand actually feels colder when he again says, "Oh?"

"Yes, sir. I have a favor to ask, and have had no luck contacting you directly, but I didn't want to ask that of my client."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't want to use her."

A seemingly long pause, during which Madeline patiently waits for the expected refusal, and then he says, "Go ahead."

"I have…accounts of your history and, though I believe them to be honest retellings, I cannot know for sure. To conclude my research, I'd very much like to hear your side of the story. Other men and women who share your interests have consented to this. Where they require it, I have done and will do what I can to maintain their anonymity."

After another interminable pause, the answer is, "No. I trust this won't influence your ability to function as her therapist?"

"Of course not. Though, as I said, I don't think that I'm necessary in this case. But that's up to my client. I'm available as long as she requires it."

"You should be, with the prices you charge."

With a quiet smile, Madeline says, "I'm sure you've done your own research. So you know that one of the reasons my fees are so steep is to fund my pro bono work."

There's another deafening silence and then he says, "Okay, she can keep seeing you."

Resisting the urge to laugh, Madeline says, "If you think she needs your permission, sir, then you haven't been paying very close attention."

Another chuckle and he says, "And if you think that I couldn't dissuade her, Dr. Brandt, you're the one who hasn't been paying attention."

Finally daring a laugh, Madeline says, "Yes, fair enough. Thank you, for speaking with me. I'm glad you're on the mend, and I truly hope it works out for the two of you."

"It will. I'll make fucking sure of it. Goodbye, Doctor."

As Madeline hangs up the phone, she's left with a somehow certain feeling that she'll never hear that voice again.

At his first opportunity, Christian calls Ana and she greets him with, "How's the Big Apple?"

"Lonely."

Ana laughs in the way that lifts his heart on hearing it and says, "Christian, you must have just landed. You can't be lonely already."

Surprised by how much it hurts that she seems unaffected by his absence, Christian complains, "You're not?"

"Oh, God. Darling, please don't pout. Yes, I'm always a little lonely when I'm not with you."

"Good. How's your first day back at work?"

"Mad. I had to give the entire editorial staff a severe talking to."

Immediately concerned, Christian asks, "Why? What the fuck have they done?"

"Relax, Grey. They were just…weird about me suddenly being the owner, despite David explaining it all in detail while I was away. So I called a meeting and permitted them one question each, promising no repercussions. It went surprisingly well once someone was brave enough to get the ball rolling. Things are a lot more relaxed now."

Incredibly proud of her for coming up with such a simple but effective solution, Christian asks, "What sort of questions?"

"Oh, as you'd expect, several about my current role and my relationship with you. Ben asked about your injuries."

"Who the fuck is Ben?"

"You met him that day you harassed me at work."

Christian laughs at the memory and says, "I'm afraid that you're all I saw that day." Suddenly, the pain of being without her is almost too much and he says, "God, I miss you."

Ana's voice is full of yearning when she softly says, "I miss you, too, baby. Are you wearing the safety glasses?"

"Yes, baby. I'll be careful. I promise." Taylor is pulling up to the front of the hotel, so Christian says, "And I have to go. I'll call you when I can. I love you, Ana."

"And I love you, Christian."

As he stows his phone, Christian asks Taylor, "Remind me again why the fuck I'm here instead of with that woman?"

With a flash of a grin, Taylor says, "No fucking idea, sir. But, if I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with your need to make sure Mrs. Grey never wants for anything."

"Yeah, that could be it. Ready to go swimming with sharks?"

Turning to face him for a moment, Taylor reassures Christian, "They don't stand a chance."

By the time they reach the front desk, his presence is known, so it's the work of only moments to check in. Impressed with the level of service, Christian bothers to use the visible nametag to thank the maître de. Clearly surprised, "Hector" stammers, "Uh, you're welcome, sir. I wish you an enjoyable and profitable stay."

With a genuine smile Christian says, "Well, that's all any of us can expect, isn't it?"

Up in their two-bedroom suite, Taylor reminds his boss, "Ninety minutes until Ros gets here to go over tactics. Run or gym?"

Smiling a little at how well Taylor knows him, Christian says, "Gym. I still can't see well enough to really put in some miles. And, if I'm not going to see my wife for three days, I'll need to fucking exhaust myself."

Christian is reminded that his bodyguard will also be abstaining from sex for the duration when the big man snorts a laugh and says, "Yeah, and a cold shower afterwards."

Despite agreeing to the interview, a nasty backlash of persuading Christian that a personal publicist is a good idea, Ana is a bundle of trembling, sweaty nerves as the finishing touches to her appearance are performed by Natalya. Suddenly, she realizes that Adam is saying something. Looking at the former Texan; six foot five inches of cowboy in a thousand dollar suit and snake-skin boots, Ana says, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Smiling, Adam Garth; publicist to the rich and famous, drawls, "I said that you'll be fine. Just relax and be yourself."

Ana laughs, a little worried at how shrill it sounds, and says, "Myself wants to run screaming for the hills. I'm not…I've never been a very outgoing person."

Portraying only confidence, Adam says, "And you won't need to be for this. That's why I persuaded Mattie to come here. It's just a conversation."

"With cameras and bright lights, and a nationally syndicated audience."

Suddenly, Sawyer holds out his cellphone, saying, "Mr. Grey for you, ma'am."

Surprised, because she hadn't heard a ringtone, Ana gratefully accepts and takes her first calm breath in hours when Christian's voice says, "Hey, baby. How are you holding up?"

Wondering how his timing could be so good, Ana guesses when she sees the hint of a grin on Sawyer's face and says, "Oh, Luke called you. We really should do something about our mutinous staff."

Christian laughs and says, "I agree. I'll probably have to give him a pay rise. You know that you don't have to do this, baby. I don't give a fuck what the public thinks of us."

"Yes, but I do. I can't stand that you're in danger because people don't know how wonderful you are." With a grin, she adds, "And everyone agreed that putting a camera in your face was a bad idea."

Another laugh and Christian says, "True enough. It cost me quite a bit of money to clean up the mess last time that happened."

They're quiet for a second and then Ana pleads, "If you tell me I can do this, I'll probably believe you."

Without hesitation, Christian says, "Baby, I know you can do this. And, much as I don't like the idea, I'm still incredibly proud of you for doing something that scares you."

As if by magic, Ana's fears seem to have vanished, and she says, "Thank you, darling. I know you're busy."

"Never too busy for you, baby. Call me when you're done."

Confident that Adam won't suspect she's serious, and the other two won't care, Ana replies, "Yes, Sir."

Christian groans and says, "Fuck, baby, that's…two more days, and then I'll make you sorry for that."

"Promise?"

"Fuck, yes."

With their familiar teasing, it's almost as if Christian really is with her, and Ana says, "I'm okay now, thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Knock 'em dead."

Ana returns Sawyer's phone, saying, "He says you're fired."

Smiling, Sawyer says, "Yes, ma'am."

Having patiently waited while Ana drew courage from her spouse, Adam now says only, "Ready?"

As if she never had even a moment of doubt, Ana smiles and confirms, "Ready."

Ana is sitting up in bed, one manuscript on her lap and others cascading over the covers, when Christian calls, and she answers, "Did you see it?"

"Watching it now. Oh, wait; here comes my favorite part."

Ana guesses from the disapproving tone, but she listens anyway as she hears the reporter, Matilda, again ask, "And is it true that you and Mr. Grey broke up for a while before resuming your relationship and marrying only a week later?"

"Yes, it's true. Christian and I come from such different worlds that I thought we might be better off apart. But he persuaded me that I was wrong, and I'm eternally grateful he did, because I've never been happier, and I was miserable without him."

"And how did he persuade you?"

Ana listens, with remembered glee, how she'd known that Christian would be upset with her cheeky answer. "He turned up on my doorstep, on his knees, and didn't move until I took him back."

"Well, there you have it, bachelors of Seattle; if you want to win the woman of your dreams all you have to do is get down on your knees and beg."

Biting back the giggle rising within her, Ana says, "Well, it's the truth."

"Yes, but you did you have to actually tell the fucking world, Ana? I'm trying to broker a deal here, and you've made me look like a chump."

"Only you think that, Christian. Everyone else sees a man so enamored that he'd do anything for the woman he loves."

His tone a little softer, Christian says, "Well, that's the truth, too. But I'm still fucking pissed at you."

"If it makes you feel any better, Adam thought it went very well; said you came off sounding like a cross between Rudolph Valentino and a much better-looking Bill Gates."

Christian's chuckle proving his words a lie, he says, "No, it fucking doesn't. They stuck to the deal then; didn't ask any questions about my past?"

Wondering how to tell him without causing a vendetta against the reporter who was just doing her best to get a good story, Ana hesitates too long, because Christian growls, "She fucking did, didn't she?"

"Christian, please don't get upset. She would have been ordered to."

"That's not why she pressed you. She's a fucking reporter, Ana. What did she say?"

Ana knows by now that he won't let it go, so she sighs and says, "I'll tell you if you promise to leave it alone. You need to start trusting me to look after myself, Christian."

She can practically hear his teeth grinding before Christian says, "Fine. I promise. So long as you never use her again."

Relieved that it was so easy, Ana laughs and says, "Oh, I've already made that very clear." When he only waits in silence, she explains, "She asked if I was aware that there are certain rumors about you and some rather exclusive clubs in and around Seattle."

"Fuck. I take it you handled it okay? Because none of that made it to air."

A thrill of pride going through Ana at his confidence in her, she explains, "I was shocked at first, given that Adam had made the terms very clear, and with you being so careful. But then I tried to imagine how you'd handle it. I did my best impersonation of Agent Smith and said, 'Interesting career move.' She stared at me for several seconds, and I stared right back. Then she muttered an apology and moved on."

"Oh, baby, you're brilliant. I wish I'd fucking been there to see my tigress with her claws out."

Ana giggles at the image and says, "Darling, if you're been there, I wouldn't have had a chance to reply, and you'd be dodging an assault charge."

"True." And then they're both quiet for a few seconds and Christian says, "Soon, my love."

Gasping at the promised contained in those few words, Ana recovers and says, "Oh, I like that title."

His voice suddenly very gentle, Christian says, "You are, you know? My Eurydice."

Of course, Ana knows the story and, almost in tears at the longing in his voice, says, "And would you travel to the realm of the dead for me?"

"Of course, baby. I even know the way."

"What? Oh, you mean your birth mother."

"No, I…Mom says I was in a pretty bad way when they found me."

The heart dropping out of Ana's world, she meekly asks, "You died?"

"Just for a few seconds. Clearly, I came back."

"Why haven't you ever mentioned this?"

"I don't remember it. Well, I have a vague memory of a white-hot light, but that could be anything; an EMT shining a torch in my eyes. Why are you so upset?"

Wondering how such a smart man can be so obtuse, Ana says, "Why am I so upset? You died, Christian!"

"But I'm alive now."

"And how would you feel if the same thing had happened to me?"

After a moment, Christian says, "Oh. Yeah, I wouldn't like that." They're both quiet again for a few seconds and then he ponders out loud, "It really is incredible that we found each other, isn't it?"

Determined to lift the mood, Ana teases, "Yes. And you owe it all to Kate."

Christian groans and says, "That was cruel, baby."

A glance at the alarm clock and a quick calculation of time zones, and then Ana says, "You'd better go. Not even Christian Grey can run on no sleep at all." When he says nothing, she offers, "Want me to stay on the line?"

With a harsh laugh, Christian wearily says, "I want you to fucking crawl through it and be in my arms. But, since we can't do that, I'd love to fall asleep listening to you breathing, thank you."

"I'm actually reading a manuscript. It's not bad. How about I read you to sleep?"

"It feels like I shouldn't want that, but I do. Thanks, Mom."

Glaring, though he can't see it, Ana says, "I don't like that title so much."

This time a relaxed, throaty chuckle and Christian amends, "Thank you, my love."

Putting the phone on Speaker and resting it in her lap, Ana begins, "Born and raised in the foothills of northwest Georgia, Jeremiah's father taught him all kinds of survival techniques, though his overriding lesson was simply this: You could trust nature but not man…"

Ana's first real session with her therapist has been going well. After catching up, Madeline asks, "So, you don't regret your decision to try Domestic Discipline?"

"Oh, all the time, but never for very long. It's not been easy to accept that side of me. But I can see…no, it's more profound than that…I can feel that it's good for me. I'm stronger, more focused." With a laugh, Ana adds, "I'm even less clumsy. It's as if I finally fit in my skin."

"And your husband?"

"Why do you call him that or 'Mr. Grey', never 'Christian'?"

Taken aback, Madeline says, "Uh, it's courteous, I guess. I've never actually met him, so it seems appropriate." When this is met by only an enigmatic smile, she adds, "Why do I feel like we've suddenly swapped roles?"

With an easy laugh, Ana says, "Seems I'm not the only one with a submissive nature. Relax, I know; you won't discuss details of your personal life. Where were we? Oh, Christian; yes, it's working out well for him, too. This is who he is, just as it's who I am. He's much more relaxed nowadays. When I met him, I was forcing myself to be what everyone needed or expected of me. But it's like stretching an elastic band; you can only go so far before it springs back or breaks. Christian was like that for a while…I told you that we broke up for a while before we got married?" At Madeline's nod, Ana continues, "The heartache of worrying that it might happen again made him…well, by choice, put aside his needs to focus on mine. Oh, it was wonderful, don't get me wrong. And I think we could have gone on for years with me only submitting during play or sex. But the band would have snapped back eventually, and someone would have been hurt. Or, worse, it would have broken, and been incapable of repair."

Madeline nods and says, "The first time we met…actually, even speaking to you on the phone, I wondered why you were seeking professional help when you seemed so…well, sane. Whether they know it or not, most people seek me out because they have problems that cannot be fixed by solitary introspection. And you seemed so relaxed and content. I wondered why Dr. Flynn had referred you to me. But I can see now that you still had a way to go before you worked out who you are. Though I honestly think you would have sorted this out by yourself; you and…" With a grin, she concludes, "Christian."

Ana smiles and says, "Yes, I've told John that Christian is my cause and my cure. Oh, I have an example; for your research?"

"Please."

"As I said, we commenced the trial run immediately after I saw you last. Turns out it was even directly helpful for Christian. He was still struggling with the emasculating loss of vision, so being able to discipline me, as he had done with women in the past, was better therapy than anything John could have come up with. Anyway, at first it was pretty much just foreplay, because we were both quite literally excited by our prospective roles. And I was enjoying being able to flick that switch in him. I call his dominant side Playful/Angry Christian and I love him perhaps more than any other persona. The person he is in that moment speaks to me on such a profound level that I could never hope to explain how or why." Smiling, Ana says, "I'm sorry. Even when he's on the other side of the country, I find him distracting."

"It's okay. You've no idea how refreshing it is, in my line of business, to hear a wife talking about her husband with only love and respect."

Ana laughs and says, "Yeah, I see what you mean. Well, Christian…one of his symptoms, I guess, is a tendency towards neatness and order. No doubt one of the reasons he's become so successful. Whereas, I…well, I'm clean, but I'm something of a slob compared to him. One morning…"

As she sets the scene for Madeline, Ana recalls every detail of the first time Christian punished her for real…

That evening, Ana was discussing the week's menu with Gail when Christian suddenly entered and thumped an empty coffee mug on counter, saying, "Ana, I've told you before; Gail has enough to do without having to pick up after you in every room in the house."

"It's all right, Mr. Grey, I really don't mind." All it took was a glance from Christian and Gail shot Ana an apologetic grimace before leaving.

Genuinely contrite, because she truly appreciates all that their hardworking housekeeper does for them, Ana watched the understandably retreating woman and said, "You're right. It's not fair to Gail. I'll try and remember."

Christian waited for the click of the door gently shutting and then coolly said, "Not quite good enough, I'm afraid."

Comprehending that he was talking about punishment, Ana said, "For a cup? I don't think so."

His manner becoming calmer by the second, Christian's voice was deceptively soothing when he said, "As you've given your consent, and I've warned you about his behavior more than once, it's past the point where you get a say in the matter. Go, get ready."

On realizing that he was serious, Ana couldn't stop herself backing away as she said, "No, Christian, you promised to never punish me when you're angry."

His voice almost a caress, Christian asked, "Do I seem angry to you?"

"I can't tell. You're all Agent Smith again, and you're scaring me."

"Good. Maybe you'll remember to pick up after yourself from now on."

Looking around for a way past him, Ana bargained, "Well, what if we get an assistant for Gail? Then we wouldn't have to worry about this."

With a slight nod of ascent, Christian said, "If you're honestly too lazy to return your cup to the kitchen, we can talk about it…after your punishment. This is the second time I'm telling you; get ready, or I'll be forced to break our rule about punishments only taking place in the playroom."

Her heart pounding, Ana's mouth was so dry with fear that she almost couldn't swallow, and she said, "Please, Christian, I don't want this."

With a knowing smile, Christian said, "Baby, your body is practically begging me. Look at your tits."

Ana, of course, couldn't stop her eyes from reflexively glancing down, even though she could feel that her nipples were hard points of arousal. In that moment, Christian closed the distance between them and pinned her against the wall, forcing her hands behind her back as he purred, "Now, the question becomes, which position?"

"No, please, Christian; Gail might come back."

"Then you shouldn't have argued, especially in front of Mrs. Jones." Suddenly releasing her, he commanded, "Lean over and grab the counter."

The tears falling even as she performed his bidding, Ana sobbed, "Christian, please; not like this."

His voice husky, apparently oblivious to Ana's real distress, Christian had said, "Oh, trust me, baby; you will like this."

Her skirt was up over her hips and his hands on the waistband of her panties when Ana sobbed, "Yellow."

Frozen for a second, Christian tapped her twice on the shoulder as he said, "Hey, what's going on. Talk to me."

This simple reminder that she's also in control gave Ana some peace, but her heaving, sobbing breaths made it difficult when she'd stood and faced him, saying, "Mom…she thought I…"

Snapping out of her reverie, Ana offers Madeline a wan smile and continues, "I was in ninth grade when a handful of students, as the bus left the school grounds, had mooned the principal out the back window. He was furious and hunted down all the offenders…or thought he had. Someone said I was one of them and Mom was called the school. She had to leave work to do so and was furious with me. I understand now that it was because she wouldn't have been paid for those hours and was worried about whether she'd make rent that month. But all I saw was the fury. She…God, it's still not easy after all this time, but at least I can talk about it now. Mom listened to the details, becoming angrier by the second and refusing to hear my side. Then she made me lean over and grab the desk, with my back towards the window."

"Oh, you poor kid."

"Yes. She lifted my skirt up and my panties down and made me stand like that while she finished talking to the principal. I was already shy. Listening to the whistles and cat-calls outside while I stood there for what seemed like forever pretty much ensured that I had no social life well into college."

"And how did your hus…how did Christian take this?"

"I was too upset to tell him at first. So he carried me to the nearest chair and just held me until I calmed down. When I was done, he said, 'I suppose hurting Carla is out of the question?' Oh, that's my Mom. We've talked about it now. She still didn't know that I was innocent. But she confessed to feeling just awful about putting me through that, and thanked me for mentioning it." With a laugh, Ana adds, "She apologized for most of the phone call even after I said that she was forgiven."

"So what started as a punishment session ended as therapy, instead?"

Smiling, Ana says, "In a way, though it still ended as punishment." At Madeline's confusion, Ana explains, "When I was all cried out and had thanked Christian, he said, 'You're welcome, baby. Now, go get ready.' I was, I think it's fair to say, shocked and appalled at his apparent insensitivity. When I expressed my horror that he was proceeding, he said, 'You need it now more than ever, baby. I'll never punish you unfairly. But I'll always follow through. You can trust me.'"

"And?"

With a shrug, Ana says, "And he was right. He annoyingly often is. As he spanked me, I've never felt so safe, so loved. Afterwards we had possibly the best sex ever, and fell asleep in each other's arms. Ever since then I feel…well, I won't say that I want to moon everyone. But I don't feel that same terror at the idea." Giggling at the thought, she concludes, "Christian is the one who would be terrified of that."

Shaking her head a little, Madeline says, "I almost feel guilty billing you for these couple of sessions. It seems as if I've got so much more from them than you have. I'm sorry, Ana."

Offering her best smile, Ana says, "Oh, no. Don't be. This progress was only possible because of you. Christian didn't have…I'm not going to share details that belong only to him, but his start to kink meant that he, for years, thought it something more abhorrent than aberrant. He still struggles with that and lives in constant fear that his secret might one day explode, harming his family. But your clinical approach to this supposedly rare but somehow prevalent aspect of so many peoples' lives meant that I don't share that fear. It's just who I am."

"Thank you, for saying that. But I honestly think this might as well be our last session, though I'm always available if you ever need me."

Considering for a second, Ana then says, "Yes, I think you're right." Standing, she offers her hand and says, "Thank you, Doctor. I wish you luck finding out who you are."

Madeline actually blushes a little as she says, "Thank you. I'm working on it. Bye, Ana."

Author's other note: Would you mind now scanning back over the flashback scene and let me know if it worked or not? It's something new for me; comments, questions or concerns all welcome, thank you.

Where credit's due: The excerpt Ana reads is from "Tell No One", by Harlan Coben; the book I had nearby when I needed a paragraph. It's quite good if, like me, you enjoy murder mysteries.

The ancient Greeks, for the story of Orpheus and Eurydice; the more romantic version.