Title: Beginnings
Author: Marianne H. Stillie
Categories: Alternate Reality, Angst, Romance
Rating: Over 13 Guidance
Pairing: Jonas/Cassie
Series: Jonas and Cassandra: Their Story
Season: Season 7
Summary: In an unexpected alternate reality, Jonas Quinn and Cassandra Fraiser are given the opportunity to create a life together that they had been denied in countless other realities.
On Earth, a tragic, defining event begins their journey.
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. Previously unrecognized characters, places and this story are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Archive: Please do not archive anywhere without the author's permission.
Copyright 2005 Marianne H. Stillie
Author's Note: This is the first story in this series.
Beginnings
The house was so quiet. It was a condition that had rarely existed in the Fraiser home during the last seven years. Even the usually frolicking dog was silently standing guard outside Cassandra's bedroom.
Jonas Quinn took another sip of tepid tea from the oversized tie-dye glazed mug Janet had bought for him soon after he'd joined the SGC. She took it out each time he'd come for dinner or for one of the gang's informal get-togethers. She would smile and laugh and touch him in a friendly, affectionate way, and state that no self-respecting tea lover should have to drink his favorite beverage from an ordinary mug. Last summer's orange spice iced tea definitely tasted best in his special mug. His sigh at the happy memory ended in a choked sob.
There were so many memories of Janet all through his time with Stargate Command. She had been the first to accept him and help him believe that he'd found a new home. She had made sure he was always included in social events, holidays, birthdays, so that he was a complete part of their special world at Cheyenne Mountain.
Janet's nurturing soul, as a doctor and as a woman, had helped him through the worst experience of his life almost a year ago. Despite his outward bravado, he'd been petrified when the out of control tissue in his brain from Nirrti's genetic engineering had reached a critical stage, threatening to kill him. He hadn't been so much afraid of dying as being left a vegetable, robbed of his intellect and abilities to function as a creative, contributing human being. Janet had been there at each crisis point of his deterioration. What he remembered most was seeing her smiling face when he'd drifted back to wakefulness after the surgery. She'd held his hand and calmly assured him that he was going to be fine. The caring and support from both the Fraiser women was a special part of his life. He cherished the leather-bound volume of romantic-era poetry Cassie and Janet had given him as a get-well gift.
The heavy silence increased the sadness in his heart as the pall of Janet's sudden absence hit him even harder. He had come back to Earth to share in the happiness of Janet and Daniel's wedding. Instead he was here, keeping watch over Cassandra while Daniel was at Cheyenne Mountain for Janet's memorial service.
Snowflakes were slowly starting to cover the ground outside. The sight only made the chilling emptiness inside him hurt more. Tears pooled in the corner of each eye. "I want my dear friend back," he whispered, the loss threatening to break through his practiced composure.
"Are you my babysitter?" Cassandra Fraiser asked from the living room doorway.
Jonas turned away from the bank of windows overlooking the front porch. He put on a thin smile as he said, "College freshman usually don't require them."
"You don't know Tau'ri students at UCCS," she laughed harshly.
Noting how drawn his young friend's face looked and the heavy bags under her eyes, Jonas asked, "I made a pot of cinnamon green tea. Would you like some?"
Cassie nodded imperceptibly and followed Jonas into the kitchen, her dog close behind her. She pretended not to see the stacks of beautifully wrapped wedding gifts scattered around the dining room. She closed her eyes as she passed the armchair where her mother's bridal wreath of silk flowers lay perched, the pale lavender fingertip veil spread out across the back and arms. She had put the final touches of pearls and crystals on it just three days ago as she'd waited for her mother to come home from the SGC. Instead it had been Daniel who walked in the door. She knew, as soon as she saw his face, something horrible had happened.
A sob broke through as she recalled how proud Janet had always been of her artistic talent. She resisted the urge to scream and break down in a full flood of tears. Her throat was raw from last night's bout of nightmares. If Daniel hadn't been there to hold her and bring her out of the death-drenched dreams, she knew she would have been lost, her subconscious grief demanding that she be reunited with her adopted mother.
She sat at the butcher-block kitchen table with her hands clenched tightly in front of her. The dog sprawled quietly beside her chair. When Jonas placed the steaming mug of tea in front of her she looked up at him. Despite her pain, she noticed the empathetic emotions that were so clear in his warm brown eyes and gentle smile. "Thank you," she managed to croak through parched lips. She took a slow sip then looked directly at Jonas again. "Mom told me about Kiana. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
The Kelownan flinched at the reminder of the other recent loss in his life. "It wasn't meant to be," he said philosophically. He refilled his mug and sat across the table from Cassie.
"Mom planned to do her big sister routine and give you a shoulder to cry on this weekend. She's always thought of you as the kid brother she never had," Cassie smiled wanly.
Remembering the conversation he'd had with Janet on the one-year anniversary of Daniel's death, he said, "She never blamed me for Daniel. Not like the others."
"There's a certain part of Daniel's spirit that my mother knows best. They are…were soul mates," and she took a long swallow of the tea.
Laughing softly, Jonas said, "Your mother was also very good at taking care of strays, especially orphaned and displaced aliens." His voice taking on a slight tremor, he continued, "That loving heart is what made her so outstanding at her chosen profession. Not everyone who goes into medicine is capable of that part."
Cassie lowered her eyes, staring at the mug she was gripping tightly. "I hope to be as good as she was."
Jonas could see tears threatening in Cassie's eyes. He surrounded her small hands with his. "You will be the best doctor ever. Do you know why? Because for seven years Janet Fraiser loved you, cared for you and showed you what it takes to be a good mother, a good woman and a good doctor. You are her child in every way that counts."
Cassie felt Jonas protectively increase his hold on her hands. She intertwined her fingers with his. "I'm so glad you're here." She controlled the strong urge to let the tears flow. Instead she said, "I can't keep leaning on Daniel the way I've been. It would be like bleeding him dry. He has his own grief to deal with, for Mom and for the baby."
"He loves you. He'll do whatever's needed to see you through this," he said with an intense assurance.
"I know but I can't let him." She took a deep breath and slowly pulled her hands from his. "This place is going to be packed with people on Saturday. I could use some help in getting all the wedding clutter out of sight so Daniel doesn't have to worry about it."
"At your service, my lady," Jonas said gallantly. "What would you like for breakfast?"
Smiling shyly as she stood up, Cassie asked, "Our usual favorite?"
As he opened the refrigerator door, Jonas answered, "Banana pancakes with coconut ginger syrup. They'll be ready by the time you're finished showering and dressing, Miss Fraiser."
"Thank you, Mr. Quinn." As she started to leave the kitchen the dog got up to follow her. "You stay here, Boomer, in case the chef needs some help," and a small laugh escaped.
The dog barked and licked her hand then stood beside Jonas at the counter. "I've always wondered why you named him Boomer."
She giggled in that little girl way Jonas recognized from happier times. "Soon after I moved in, I overheard a conversation between Mom and Aunt Sam about Uncle Jack. They said that he was one of those early baby boomers who never wanted to grow up. I didn't want my dog to ever grow up, so I named him Boomer."
Jonas laughed lightly at the twelve-year old alien logic and affectionately ran his fingers through the dog's fur. "Boomer is the perfect name for you."
Cassie stopped in the doorway and turned back to the kitchen. "Jonas?"
"Yeah?" he said in between breaking eggs into a bowl.
"Thanks, again."
"You're very welcome, Cass."
The look that passed between them said much more than the simple words each was able to utter at that moment.
This place of sadness and endings had a poignant similarity to others across the galaxy, as if a long-forgotten genetic memory had survived in the human generations who had been stolen from their true home.
For Jonas Quinn it brought back memories of the sudden loss of his parents the summer before he started at university. Despite the presence of his loving, supportive grandparents and all the relatives and friends who had gathered to pay their respects, he was overwhelmed by the agony of the first major loss in his young life. This fresh, and so unexpected loss brought back the array of conflicting emotions that had pummeled his soul so turbulently then. He'd shared them with Cassie, hoping that she would feel secure enough with him to let him comfort her. She had listened, but still held back.
He had understood all too well. Time passes differently in grief. Everyone around you is in real time but you're stuck in all the yesterdays, wanting the hurt to go away, wanting the reality to be different. As he stood with his former teammates around Janet's gravesite, he felt more a part of them than ever before. There was a mutual grief but also a powerful empathy for the personal losses each had experienced in their lives.
At the gravesite, Cassandra Fraiser listened to the minister's closing words. He'd recited all her mother's favorite bible verses, the comforting ones she'd clung to when Daniel had left them two years ago and the joyous ones when he came back, to this world and, at last, to her. At Daniel's request, the verse that was supposed to be a part of the wedding vows they should have exchanged today ended the internment service.
From their respective vantage points, Jonas and Cassandra each watched Daniel, willing their love and strength to ease his tightly hidden grief. After hours of steady work, all the wedding reminders had been deposited in the partially decorated nursery upstairs. Daniel had come home very late after picking up Janet's mother and brothers and settling them at their hotel. He'd eaten very little and made only minimal conversation about the memorial service at the mountain. His exhaustion finally took over and he'd excused himself. He'd locked himself in the bedroom he had shared with Janet the last weeks of their time together. Cassie had listened to the poorly muffled sounds of his grief from across the hall. Even from his place on the couch downstairs, Jonas had heard Daniel's anguish.
The next morning Daniel was up and out of the house before either of them was awake. He had things to do he'd scrawled in a note he'd put under a magnet on the refrigerator.
"Jonas?" Major Samantha Carter said shaking his shoulder.
He blinked rapidly, bringing his mind back to the here and now of this real time. "Uh, sorry, Sam. My mind was elsewhere."
"That's okay. The colonel, Teal'c and I are heading right to the house to get everything ready. I'll drive you there."
"Thanks, but I'll be going in the limo with Cassie. Mrs. Fraiser is still in bad shape. Gordon and Matt asked Daniel to stay with them until this is over. He asked me to accompany Cassie back to the house."
Sam kissed his cheek. "Thanks for being such a good friend. See you there." She walked across the snow-covered grass to where the huge crowd of SGC mourners was congregated.
As Jonas approached the flower-draped casket, Janet's two bothers were helping their sobbing mother away from the gravesite. Only Daniel and Cassie remained beside the coffin.
Cassie stood very close to Daniel, not knowing what to say or what he would do in these last minutes. He reached out to the casket. His hand began stroking the dark wood. "I don't want to leave her here, Cassie. It's so cold and lonely."
Moving closer, Cassie said softly, "Mom's not alone, Dad. Baby Danny is with her. They'll always be together."
Her words were the final reality that broke through Daniel's armor. His body shaking in hard sobs, he allowed Cassie to take him in her arms.
The minutes went by, still too few to encompass all their pain, until Daniel finally pulled away. He touched the casket one last time, took one of the roses and kissed Cassie. "Thank you," and he hurried toward the waiting limousine.
"That's the first time he's allowed anyone to comfort him since Mom died. I'm so afraid for him, Jonas," Cassie said, her voice trembling. "He's lost so much in his life. This could finally break him."
Jonas took Daniel's place beside Cassie. "You're an amazing woman, Cass. You give so much love."
"I was raised with an abundance of it, from Mom, Daniel, Aunt Sam, Uncle Jack, Teal'c. All of them taught me well." She turned toward the casket and removed one of the purple roses from the blanket of flowers. "I feel so lost without you, Mom. Who's going to teach me about the rest of my life?"
There were no words he could think of that would be an adequate response to Cassie's question. Instead Jonas held out his hand to her. She looked into his eyes for several moments then grabbed his hand tightly.
In the limousine, Cassie slipped both her hands inside Jonas' overcoat and tightly curled them under his suit jacket. He felt the iciness from her fingers through his shirt. He hoped his body heat was strong enough to ease some of her grief and pain. He wrapped both his arms around her upper body and pulled her close. She burrowed deep into his chest and her petite body began shaking in heavy sobs. His arms tightened again. "If you ever need me, for anything, just dial up the Stargate and I'll be here."
Cassie's tears came even harder, freely, cathartically and gratefully. Jonas kissed the top of her head and allowed his own tears to find release at last.
To be continued in
"Hunted"