Chapter 1
Tobias
I lay crumpled in the floor of our living room, arms wrapped around my head for protection. My Mother is unconscious behind the sofa I'm sure. If she was awake, she would have tried to intervene by now. But she hasn't. The next blows bring the taste of blood to my mouth and through my sobs I crack open my eyes. His face is red with anger; the belt is raised high over his head. I duck with a dry sob of dread, but this one takes longer to come.
My vision is blurry with dark spots in the corners. He almost made me pass out. My body throbs and stings from the beating, but another blow hasn't fallen yet. Maybe it's over; maybe he'll let me go to sleep now. I'm so tired, but that would be too easy. Even though I'm only four, I already know my father never goes easy on me, especially when a big day such as tomorrow, a day where I'll be alone with other people and his dark secrets will be at the highest risk, is right around the corner. He's beaten me like this every day for the past few weeks.
"Tell me again how you got that bruise." He demands. His voice is low and menacing. I know he still has the belt wrapped around his hand.
If I take too long, our Candor principal will know I'm lying, if I'm too fast, she'll know I'm lying. I force myself not to sob, force each muscle to relax, then fighting to keep a normal voice, say softly "I fell."
"How?" he continues. Lashing down with another strike. I yelp and quiver.
"A Dauntless boy pushed me down the stairs." I say as I fight back tears.
"Did you know him?"
"No."
"No ma'ma!" He barks lashing out again. I cry out again, and this time we both hear a low moan.
"Mommy help me!" I cry and receive a hard kick to the stomach in turn from my father.
"SAY IT!" he yells. I cover my ears and close my eyes tightly trying to pretend I'm not here.
"No ma'ma." I mutter.
This must satisfy him because he moves on, and in a calm voice says, bending down next to my ear, "What did he look like?"
I whimper and can see the smirk split across his face even with my eyes clinched shut. "He pushed me from behind, I never saw him." I say.
"Marcus stop. You'll kill him." I hear my mother say weakly from a few feet away. She's coming too. She's ok.
"Shut up Evelyn!" He barked back.
Please don't make me go through it again. I'm so tired and I hurt all over. Please don't make me… I think desperately.
"Are you sure Tobias?" He whispers.
"Yes Ma'ma." I whimper.
For a moment there is silence except for the sound of my whimpers and my heart pounding in my head. I said it all right, just like he told me too. Please let me have done it right…."
After a moment, he gets up, and I slowly crack open my eyes, tear blurred as they are.
"You're done. Clean this mess up and go to bed." He says, and relief rushes through my body.
"Yes sir." I croak.
I feel my mother's arms wrap gingerly around me as Marcus's footsteps become softer and softer. I'm shaking all over now and trying not to cry too loud, but it all hurts so much. It feels like he broke my rib cage and set the rest of me on fire.
My mother runs her thumb over my cheek bone and hushes me. "It'll be alright Sweet heart. Mommy's here. It'll be alright Tobias." She cooed, but it doesn't feel alright, it feels bad. This is the worst beating he's ever given me and I'm actually dizzy from the pain. My mother holds be to her side while she wipes my blood off the floor, then she carries me up stairs to the small bathroom to clean me off. As she cleaned my face up and puts a bandage over my eye where it split from being kicked, she hums softly and chats with me about how fun and exciting my first day of kindergarten will be. After she tucks me into bed, I watch her sneak out of my room, and then out of the house.
Where does she go when she leaves me here alone with him? She knows what he does to me when she isn't here to stop him. Doesn't she care? I thought as I fell asleep that night. I didn't know yet that it would be over a decade until I found out.
The next day went mostly as expected. I recited the story my father had beat into me perfectly, the woman had no idea I was lying, she just smiled and gave me a cookie, telling me I was free to go play and come see her if it happened again. Most kids would feel proud that they fooled a Canandor, but I felt kinda bad about it. I didn't like to lie back then, but if I didn't, Marcus would have killed me. No doubt about it.
When I got outside to go to the bus stop that day though, I stopped to watch some of the other kids play. I'd never really seen any other kids except fellow Abnegation kids, who I wasn't allowed to play with. I was fascinated with this one girl, about ten maybe eleven. She wore a black t-shirt and black pants with her long dark hair pulled back into a pony tail. She had just one streak of electric green in her hair, off on the side. She looked so cool. Her and her friends were climbing on the huge play structure, maybe ten stories high. She looks so familiar, but I couldn't have seen her before. Until today I've never met anyone from any other faction, I've never even been out of Abnegation sector before.
"Hey Scarlett! Bet you can't get to the top of that building!" A Dauntless boy, about fifteen shouts down from the top of the play structure as he points to the top of the building next to it, maybe another ten stories higher. The girl I've been watching turns on the name Scarlett and immediately her mouth splits into a wide grin.
She instantly starts climbing shouting when she passes the boy who challenged her, "Bet you're too scared to come with me!"
"Am not!" he calls back and starts climbing again.
Scarlett waits for him to catch up before jumping from the play structure to the building. She doesn't even scream though many of the kids who have now stopped to watch do. She catches hold of an old flag pole and then, climbs the bricks to the top ledge where she stands up tall and does a cartwheel across it. The Dauntless all cheer and pump their fists as she yells happily herself, laughing.
The boy still hasn't moved. He suddenly looks sick to his stomach but after a few minutes he too leaps out and climbs to the top. I feel dizzy just watching them. I hate heights. The girl greets him with a squeal and they both pump their fists triumphantly.
"Dauntless to the death! Dauntless to the death!" they cheer, and all the other Dauntless join in.
In the next few seconds, something horrific would alter the mood of this event. Suddenly there was a loud BANG as the building on which they stood crumpled in a cloud of brown. Huge parts of the broken building came flying down into the crowed, crushing a few cars, breaking apart the play structure with the Dauntless kids still on it. Someone screamed, a girl, with a high pitch caused only by terror. Teachers rushed out of the building, freezing in horror at the sight before them.
As the dust settled, you could see only the charred remains of that building. It was nothing more than a pile of rubble. The only thing still semi stable was that flag pole, stuck wedged between its hole and some fallen rubble. I doubt anyone noticed the pole its self though. There, holding on for her life, hung Scarlett.
More screams as the Abnegation who lived within walking distance from the school and the local Canandor joined the scene. My parents rush over to me, asking a million questions about what happened, but I'm too transfixed on the girl holding on to that flag pole. I've already spotted the boy who fell with her. He's dead. A few Abnegation women have moved his body out from under the rubble.
Minutes, what seem like hours tick by as the whole group watches helplessly as the girl clings to the pole, waiting for her to fall. A pipe broke open a few minutes ago drenching the girl and the pole making her slip further. She bites back a scream as the Dauntless officers, parents, and leaders arrive. She's been hanging there for thirty minutes in counting.
"SHIT!" one of the leaders swears loudly. Max, I think is his name.
"What?" Another man says turning around. The man looks younger than my dad, maybe late twenties. He has my father's hair though, and his same eyes. They could be brothers, but I didn't think my dad had a brother.
"Eaton, don't look!" Max says as both he and my father grab the other man by the arm.
"She's not worth it Jason, you'll be killed." My father says as the other man's eyes widen.
"SCARLETT! That's my daughter! That's my baby! Get off of me!" The man exclaimed slinging Max off of him, but my father just tightens his grip. The death grip.
"I promised mom I'd look out for you. You're not going up there traitor or not!" Marcus growls. I only hear because I'm right next to them.
"You may gamble with your son's life, Marcus, but don't you forget I know what you've done." Jason growls back shaking Marcus's hand off him while my father stairs angrily after him. He can't act out here. Not in front of everyone.
"Hold on Scarlett! I'm coming!" The man says as he starts skillfully climbing up the ruins of the play structure. He looks almost analytically at the ruins of the building. A very Erudite look. He then begins to climb the building ruble.
The girl's arms are shaking hard now. She can't hold on much longer. She's only hanging on my her fingertips now. "Daddy I'm slipping!" she says trying not to sound hysterical. I can see her face from where I'm standing. It's red, but she's not crying yet, though her eyes are blurry with tears just behind them.
"You might fall, but if you do I'll catch you. Please hold on baby I'm almost there." He says. What a time to be honest! She's about to plummet to her death! Just tell her she'll be fine so she can die in peace.
The crowd has gone silent now. Jason is the Dauntless head leader. If he dies, they have to vote in a new leader and vote which current leader takes his place. Dad talks about it all the time. Just as he gets to her, she loses her grip and falls. Her father snaps out an arm and catches her around the waist just before it's too late.
The next thing I remember is the crowd's cheers as they climb down and walk into the crowd, and then they are both gone. Marcus grabs me hard by the shoulder making me jump and whine a little as he mashes the welts he left on me last night. "Say goodbye to your uncle Jason. It's the last time you'll ever see him." He says in a hiss.
That night he took all his anger and frustration out on me and my mother, once he'd finished with me. I could hear her crying in their room from the small hall closet.
He left me in there all night, until maybe three when my mother came and unlocked the door for me. I ran into her arms for a hug, but she pushed me away and went quietly down the stairs and out the front door.
"What are you doing outta there?" Marcus bellowed from behind me. I close my eyes and whimper. Then he starts to hit me again….
Tobias' pastChapter 2
Tobias
The next morning was a Saturday, thank God because I don't think I could have made it through school without drawing attention. My father kept me locked up in that closet until he got up around ten. I hadn't been able to sleep in there and worse, every muscle in my body throbbed from the beating I took the day before. It was evident when I got home last night that my father had had to deal with someone he disliked all day. I didn't know anyone but me could make him that mad until then.
When he opened the door, I was still curled into a ball, trying hard not to sob anymore, but I kept imagining that there was a monster in there, or that something moved, creatures of the dark. Turned out the only monster was the one now raising an eye brow at me. I got up as quickly as I could, mind you that wasn't very fast given how sore and stiff I was, and started off towards my room.
"What did you say to the Canandor woman yesterday?" He asked coldly.
Please not now. Isn't twice enough for you? I can't do another round. I just can't! I thought as I closed my eyes momentarily contemplating running to my room. The only question then is what would I do once I got there?
"Tobias, what did you do?" He demanded harshly.
Please don't hit me. please don't hit me. "I didn't do anything. I just…um…" I hesitate, remembering the day before. That poor girl. My cousin I think.
"WELL?" he demands again, this time grabbing my shoulders and shaking me hard once.
I suppress a moan. My head is spinning and I just want to stretch out in my bed and have some peace. "Just what you told me to, that a Dauntless boy pushed me down and that I didn't see his face. I said it right and everything, promise." I stutter. I know he'll do worse than shake me if he thinks I told someone about our little secret.
"And what did she say to that?" He practically spits the words. He hates relying on me to be smart and keep up a good lie. A Marcus Eaton lie.
I see the rage building inside him. He's ready to get the belt… I shudder at the thought, my eyes wide with fear. "N-n-nothing." I say trying to take a step back.
He's about to say something else but there is a pound on the door. Not a knock, not exactly. Too heavy sounding for a knock. Like the sound of a pot being dropped on the table, except more stable. Deliberate.
"Stay." He orders before shifting before my eyes into Marcus Eaton, Abnegation Council leader. He heads down stairs and I listen from out of sight. My mother has already answered the door. I see a long, slender, black, cylinder appear just inside the house.
"Jason! What a lovely surprise. Please." My mother says gesturing towards the living room.
"Evelyn, as always, a pleasure to see you in one piece. Marcus around? Would hate to embarrass him at work you know. I'm not here on pleasure I'm afraid to say." Jason says as they move into the living room, where my father no doubt waits.
"Um, just through here. May I take your…gun?" She asks politely.
"Are Stiffs even aloud to touch them?" Someone else says. A woman it sounds like, but younger. Maybe late twenties.
"Wait in the car Hannah, I doubt I'll be shot by any of these people." Jason says, and someone leaves.
"Please sit. Would you care for something to…" My mother's voice trails off, no doubt catching a death glare from my father.
"I fine, thanks. Do you mind if I speak with Marcus alone?" Just for a minute, it's really your son, I'm here to talk with. Tobias, was it?" Jason says kindly. I can't see him now, but he sounds like he's smirking. An evil smirk like when my father says 'this is for your own good' right before he hits me.
"Of course. Course. I'll leave you two to it." My mother says nervously. I hear her footsteps soften until they are gone.
"Good to see you Marcus. How's your work?" Jason says almost mockingly kind.
"What do you want with Tobias?" Marcus responds crossly.
"Haven't changed a bit I see. You have a lovely home. Very…quaint."
"I said what do you want with my son."
"Temper Marcus, I don't like shooting people but I could always close my eyes when I fire. Is it so suspicious that an uncle would want to talk with his nephew? Especially after what happened yesterday. Mm mm, poor little guy must be traumatized." Jason continued needling my father. I couldn't decide if this was him acting like a Dauntless, being brave, or if he just had a death wish.
"He's fine. Thank you for your concern, but it's really not necessary. Sorry you wasted a trip." Marcus replies in fake sincerity.
"Oh, nonsense. Besides, I'm here to find out more than just how he is handling our little…factionless dilemma. By the way, the factionless men and women responsible for that bomb are being tried today and executed at the Mercy-less mart tomorrow if you'd like to come." Jason added casually.
Maybe this guy is just dumb. I thought.
"Executed? You can't! They haven't even been tried yet! Who are you to determine their fates?" My father said raising his voice in a concerned leaderly way.
"I think, I'm the head of Dauntless, or did you forget. They killed one of our children yesterday and injured several more. Besides, you don't even care about your own son's life! Why should you about the trash of our city?"
"Don't you talk about them like that. And you leave my son out of this!"
"Ah but you see Marcus, he's the whole reason I'm here! Do you really think Dauntless is going to go on a house call to check on every child who was at school yesterday? I'm here because your son lied about how he got hurt yesterday. Now the only one thick enough to believe they could get away with lying to a Canandor, is you. Plus as your brother I know how violent you tend to be." Jason said ending in a cold growl.
Oh God! They know. THEY KNOW! Now I understood why that woman had been so nice. She felt sorry for me. She thought I was getting beat on at home by someone.
"I was good for you. Do you think you would have survived Dauntless initiation if it hadn't been for my toughening you up?" Marcus almost shouts now.
"I was fine without you. I've done well for myself no thanks to you. I know what you're doing to that boy. I know because it was once me. 'this is for your own good' 'our mother did not raise you to be a dare devil!' Did you really think I wouldn't know? Do you think I'm going to stand by and keep your little secret while you beat your son to death?"
"You will if you want me to keep yours!"
"Oh that's not going to work Marcus. My being a divergent is no secret any longer. Apparently, some anonymous caller told Max and the other leaders all about it. wonder who that could have been."
"You really did it to yourself when you went after the girl." Marcus says. I can hear the smile on his face.
"Well sorry to disappoint, but they don't believe you. You're not the only good liar of the family. Now, where's Tobias? Or should I place you under arrest for interfering in an investigation?" Jason sneered.
For a moment, there was silence, and then "Tobias, come here please."
I freeze. I have to pretend I didn't just hear any of that. I stand up slowly, making my body scream with pain, then I fix my shirt and go down stairs. Slowly I inch towards the living room. The man from yesterday, Jason, smiles at me, while my father just glares as if to say 'screw this up and I'll kill you.' Message received.
"Hey buddy. I'm Jason, you can call me Jase, everyone does." He says crouching down to my level. He bounces on his heals playfully while he looks me over. I just now notice the blue and green stripes in his hair, and the tattoos on his arms. The biggest, is an angle, holding a small book and a light, with the words Now and for Always written under it.
"Hi." I say.
Tobias' pastChapter 3
Tobias
When I got home from my talk with Jason, my father was in a particularly bad mood. My mother was waiting outside for me, and she ushered me in through the back door.
"What are you two doing sneaking around the house like that? Are you trying to keep something from me?" Marcus asked when we came in. he must have been waiting for me to.
My mother frowns, "No, why would we be?"
He ignores her and starts on me. "You're late."
"I'm sorry Daddy." I say shyly.
"Where were you?" he demands.
Jason and I were forced to take the bus because non-Dauntless members weren't allowed on the train, assuming I could get on it anyway. I didn't remember that at the time. I was too scared to think, so I lied.
"I missed the buss. I let an older lady get on ahead of me." I lied. we had missed the buss, but only because I kept giving up my seat and getting pushed around which ticked Uncle Jason off.
"How thoughtful! Wasn't that thoughtful Marcus?" my mother praised. I waited for Marcus' response nervously.
"Very thoughtful, in fact, too thoughtful." Just like that he had hoisted me up by my shirt and slammed me against the wall making the whole wall shake. Some things fell from their shelves, I think a pot hit me, but Marcus didn't even flinch. He grabbed a knife with the other hand and slammed it into the wall next to my head making me flinch and whimper if fear.
"STOP IT! Leave him alone!" My mother cried grabbing Marcus's wrist trying to plead with him. He slapped her hard and she fell over dazed. My eyes darted from her to the knife, landing a finally on Marcus.
"Don't lie to me." he growled. I closed my eyes but still flinched as he slammed the knife down. I didn't hear the door open, all I heard was the click of the bullet. I flinched again, crying now a little, waiting for the cold metal to press into my skin.
"Let him go." Jason said. His voice cold and low, like my father's when he's mad. I open my eyes to see my father's eyes wide with fear as my uncle pressed that black cylinder to his temple.
Slowly, Marcus lowered me until my feet were on the floor again. As soon as his hand left my shirt, I ran over to my mom who scooped me up in her arms. I was shaking, still coming off the adrenaline rush I get whenever my father hurts me, whenever he tries to kill me.
"Tobias, Evelyn, I think it's time I showed the both of you my house. Tobias had such a good time at my office today, maybe you should sleep over. Give my brother here a chance to cool off." Uncle Jason said without changing his voice. It was more a threat to Marcus. It would look unexplainably bad if we stayed over with a Dauntless.
"They will stay here. I'll go for a walk… now get lost Jason, and never come back here again." Marcus' voice was cold, and Jason almost twitched.
"Have a nice day." He said without a glance at anyone as he left.
No sooner than the front door slammed shut did my beating begin, but this time, Uncle Jason didn't come to save me. No on did.
The next day when I got home from school I sat out on the front steps until the throbbing in my back subsided some. I had been limping all day getting several suspicious looks from my teachers, but no one said anything. I got lost in myself for a while, until I felt a shadow come over me. I looked up into my father's face. He looked sad, but that was probably just an act. The Abnegation had been giving me their condolences all day, but I still had no idea what had happened, or who had died. I guessed I was about to find out.
Marcus picked me up, the way some fathers pick up their children sometimes and kissed my cheek. Then he carried me into the house and shut the door. After unceremoniously dropping me he walked over to the sofa and sat down, a smug smile on his face. He just sat there for a moment, laughing to himself, until he noticed I was there.
"Come here Tobias." He says coldly. I instinctively take a step backwards as he pushes himself out of the chair. As he advances on me I back up until my back is to the wall, literally. I put my hands up in front of my face as he reaches for me. He scoffs, and pulls my hands down. "I'm not going to hit you, you insolent twit. Not until after Andrew leaves later tonight." He says dragging me by me dislocated shoulder over to the sofa.
"Who?" I ask through my clinched teeth. I try not to whimper in front of my father, as it provokes him, but I'm not very good at pain management yet.
His eyes are like daggers. "Andrew Prior, is a friend and co-worker of mine. He will be coming to dinner tonight to console us over the loss of your uncle. You are not to speak unless spoken to and are to excuse yourself to your room immediately after diner. Understood?" He said, not really asking so much as commanding.
"What happened to Uncle Jason? What about my cousin Scarlett?" I asked without thinking. The one person who had tried to protect me, take care of me…what had happened to him?
My father's face fell into a stone cold rage. I didn't have time to react before he had punched me, hard. I saw spots, tasted blood, as he shouted, "Nothing he didn't have coming to him!" He then stomped out. I could hear him yelling at my mother, though everything sounded muffled. "That must be what Andrew was wanting to talk to me about! He promised the Dauntless I'd take care of that wretched little brat of Jason's!"
"Marcus…we could just say no if you want. What would we do with.." my mother stuttered.
CRASH! "DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THAT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK? Of course we have to take her! We have to take her, and you can bet the Dauntless won't want her acting like one of us even if she lives here. Dame!"
I run up to my room when I hear two more plates shatter and more cursing from my father. I stay there until five-thirty when I hear the door bell ring. I go down the hall and stop at the top of the stairs.
"…and I knew you'd want her given how close you were to your brother. Why wouldn't you want her after all? She's family." The man, Mr. Prior I presume, says with a laugh. My father chuckles along. He's being his good "Abnegation Leader" now.
"Don't be ridiculous, of course we want her." My mother says giving the girl standing next to Mr. Prior side hug.
Scarlett looks so different from that day when she hung from the falling building. She looks tired, older, and altogether worn. She wears a knee length black dress, embellished with little black roses along the waist line and she has her hair pulled back in a lose braid. Even now she looks far better than most Abnegation girls her age, prettier, happier, more comfortable with herself, even if she is a bit muscular.
"Let me help you with your bags, dear." My father offers reaching for one of the huge suitcases. Both my father and Mr. Prior see those suitcases as self indulgent, but, it's all she has left.
"Thanks but I can manage on my own." She replies crossly snatching both bags before Marcus can even touch them.
"Don't be cross with me young lady." Marcus says calmly, as if she hadn't just practically spit in his face.
"My father is dead. I'll be cross with whomever I like." She retorted plainly. She gets as far as the bottom of the stairs then stops. "I don't know where to go." She says in the same manner. I catch my father's eye and rush towards her on cue.
"I'll show you." I say timidly. My father says the Dauntless are cold, cruel people. I don't know what she'll do to me.
She smiles at me a little. "Thank you that would be great." She says. I lead her down the hall to the room across from mine, the room for any girl children. She stops when we walk in, and then, slowly runs her hand over every surface, taking it all in by memory. After a moment she sits on the edge of the bed and stairs out the window. I just now notice the black shawl draped around her shoulders.
"Diner should be ready by now. Do you want me to go get you something?" I ask timidly.
Her shoulders buckle, and she buries her face in that shawl. "I'm not hungry." She says heart brokenly through her gulps of air. She's trying so hard not to cry, but who wouldn't cry if they had a dad like hers and he died leaving them all alone in an unforgiving world. If we hadn't taken her, and her mother's family hadn't taken her, she'd have been at the mercy of the Dauntless, probably factionless by now if she had no friends willing to take her in.
"Is there, um…anything I can do?" I ask. I want to help her. I hate it when other people cry, I always have. I just wanted her to stop crying.
"I just want to be alone right now. Ok?" she says wiping her eyes. I nod and leave closing the door behind me.
When I get down stairs, they've already started. Mr. Prior is the first to notice me. "How is she?"
My father stops mid-bite and suddenly all eyes are on me. I shrug, but that doesn't seem good enough. "She's up set. She said she's not hungry. I think she's tired." I say softly.
"Poor girl. I feel so bad for her." My mother says.
Everyone nods in agreement.
The rest of the night goes on like that until Mr. Prior leaves, then my father turns on me, beating me with that belt for lying until I'm horse from yelling. When I look up, I see her. Mortified looking down at me and at him, belt raised to hit me again.
"Go to your room girl!" Marcus yells and for a second I think she will. But then, she straightens and storms down the stairs snatching the belt from him.
"My father told me all about you. I know what you are, and I have a friend at Erudite who would love nothing more than the story. If you, ever hit him again…" She threatens coldly. The threat scares both me and my father into silence even after she's stormed back up stairs.
"Go to bed." He mumbles to me as he stalks off up stairs. I sink into myself.