So here is a sort of ONE-shot I wrote last night, inspired by a great deal of things XD I hope you enjoy the story and please Review!
When the Last Rose Dies
I only had two months left to live. Two months to go through everything an eighteen year old boy should have been through. It's frustrating, really, to know that I only have sixty days left to know what true happiness feels like; to know what it means to have lived a plentiful life. I could not help but drown in self-pity in the empty room, where the only other sounds emanated from the lit fireplace across from where I sat, and the rain tapping against my window. I could only choose to either watch as the water shaped as tears fell from the face of the glass or to watch as the flames danced alluringly before me.
My father has abandoned me. His last words to me were his decision to leave my here with the servants until I die and they would have disposed of my body and possessions; only then would he return to the manor. It hurts to know that instead of sharing his time with the little I have left, he rather go abroad to drink and share his nights with strange women. Is that his way of grieving, I thought once. No. He only grieved when mother died. He only proved his humanity when she fell ill; only promised to mend his ways beside her deathbed. I remember he did not allow me or my brother to enter the room; I remember how servants could only go in to bring her medicine and food, I remember how the only person he would greet and treat accordingly was the doctor that came in every week to examine her, I remember how he cried and lamented himself to sleep every night; how my elder brother and I could hear is pain echoing down the hall. When mother died, he grieved for years; he locked himself away and slowly destroyed and lost himself in liquor. He drove us even further away, to a point where my elder brother, Itachi, left the house and departed to Scotland to further his studies in medicine as soon as he was of age.
I decided to stay behind; I decided to keep him company. Even though I would be living alone with a complete stranger who only shares my name, I decided to stay. I remember how I tried endlessly every day to win his praise; to earn his acknowledgement, for just a look of pride or a sign of love: anything that could have reassured me that he cared. I remember how I tolerated all the times he humiliated me; how he hit me, cut me and insult me every day, how he cursed me for looking like her. I remember how he cut my face to erase the similarity between us. I remember all my pain, my confusion and regret, my resentment and my growing hatred against my father.
I remember my guilt when I hated the man my mother loved. So I stood strong. Only for her. For the memory of her that lingered everywhere I looked. I tolerated every beating, every curse, every disappointment and pain he bestowed upon me for the mere fact that I will always love my mother. I knew my mother would have never wanted him to be in pain and fall ill, I knew she would have never wanted him to die alone. Instead, it is I who will end with such cruel fate. My eyes harden and my grip on the leather armchair tightens. No. My father is not grieving, he is rather pleased to finally be rid of the only thing that reminded him of his beloved, who was taken by the same illness. I was rather appalled by his blunt, easy to read gestures as he walked out the door sixteen months ago.
I did not want to be pitied, I did not want to hear the cries and condolences, I did not want to see the sad looks, so I sent all of my servants to their homes that they could rarely enjoy. I am alone. Yet, it matters not. It never mattered to him: I never mattered.
I could hear faint sounds from outside the study, as if I was not the only one inside this cold, depressing manor. I would not mind if it were a thief; father planned to remodel the house anyways. I could hear my name being called, though; someone was searching for me. I heard the door behind me creak open.
"Master Sasuke" said the low and timid voice of Elena, the eldest servant under our employment and the woman who raised me after mother passed.
"Go now, Elena. It is getting rather late" My word was final; my tone curt and unapologetic. I loved Elena, but I know how much she misses her real family, as I also know that my current condition is devastating for her to see. I do not want her to look at me, to see what is left of me. I could hear her cries as she gathered her things and left. I could see her slow trudge from the window. "Goodbye Elena and thank you for everything." I closed my eyes. I am so tired of this melancholy. This changes nothing. It will not help me survive, it will not make my mother return and it will not make my father care. I could only wait until my heart stops, or perhaps if He were to take pity on me, he could spare me. I rose from the armchair and left the study, closing the door behind me. I want to be able to use my legs before I am rendered motionless and weak. My footsteps echo through the house as I make my way to the garden on the west wing of the house.
I never minded the rain. Its cold drops hit me as I step into the middle of the garden. A bitter laugh escapes my lips as I recall Elena scolding me as a child. I had just entered the house, soaked in the cold November rain, shivering endlessly. You could die from pneumonia, she had said, hurrying me to a warm bath. Well, it doesn't matter much now, does it Elena? I watched the skies as the cold November rain consoled me. The cold brought numbness, and its numbness brought peace.
"What the hell are you doing?" my eyes opened abruptly at the sound of a voice coming from behind me. When I turned, a girl with confused eyes was staring at me from under a broken, tattered and torn umbrella. As I looked at her, confusion took hold of me before I understood. She was barefoot, clothed in only an oversized, old and dirty shirt that ended under her knees, her hair was muddy and knotted, her skin stained and frame delicate and malnourished. But her eyes; God, her eyes. Out of her overall appearance, her eyes were unstained, clear to perfection, unclouded by any hatred or bitterness; they were pure. A pair of beautiful pools of emerald stared at me, bright and full of life, piercing and captivating like nothing I have ever seen before. I could stare at those eyes forever. Her eyes shying away from my probing look woke me from my reverie. I could tell she was from the streets. Why else would she wonder the streets of London in December without even a pair of shoes to protect her from the cold?
"What are you doing here?" I ask, making my way towards her slowly to show I mean no harm.
"Hey, you better go inside, you could get sick, you know?" she said. Why does that matter? She should worry more about herself, since she doesn't even have a pair of shoes. And I tell her so. She just smiles at me and walks closer to me, shielding me from the rain under her broken umbrella.
"Forgive me" she says "I know I should not be here, but I love the roses that bloom here. No matter what time of the year, there are always roses in this garden, and I had never seen one up close until I came across this place." She shyly glances at the rose bush near the entrance to the manor, a light rose tint coloring her pale cheeks. The girl walked me to the door and turned to leave. My breath caught in my throat, my stomach tightened and my mind whispered for her to stop. I watched silently as she walked away, only managing to say something when she was at the other side of the gates surrounding the manor.
"If you love roses so much" I said "I'll give you one every time you walk by." I could see her eyes widening, and she gave me a smile, showing me a row of pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. She waved enthusiastically as she walked away, shouting for me to keep that promise. I wondered when I would see her again.
Six days passed and I had not seen her. I waited patiently for the day she would come to claim a promised rose, but she did not. On the seventh day I sat in the rose garden, staring at them closely. Their crimson red was unlike any other red rose, their thorns unparalleled, their lifespan unmatched.
"I want one of those" I swiftly turned, both surprised and delighted to hear her voice. She stood a few steps behind me, with her hands behind her back and a sheepish grin on her lips in a shy yet playful manner. I rose from my position and faced her. She was just as underdressed as when we first met, her umbrella hanging from her shoulder by the hook-like handle. I gave her a smile and cut a rose for her. We sat in a bench under a nearby tree and talked for what seemed like minutes but were actually hours. I enjoyed her carefree mood and her stories about the townspeople, I enjoyed her one sided conversations to which I mainly nodded to, and I found her energetic company very pleasing to be around. I had not had such great company since my brother left. I looked at the darkening sky and back at her. She was standing now, about to excuse herself for the day. I nearly jumped to my feet and looked at her emerald eyes.
"You should stay, we could have an afternoon tea right about now" I say, hoping she will agree.
She looked surprise at my offer, her left eyebrow lifting slightly "are you not afraid I could be dangerous? What if I am a burglar pretending to be a street rat?"
"If you were, I would have noticed"
"How so?" her head tilts to the side in a questioning manner.
"Because if you were, you would have never returned to a place like this" I say as I gesture back to the house "where there is someone who is constantly waiting for you and can recognize you. If you were a thief, you would have feared I notified the police" I finish. I look at her strangely when a sly smile took over her lips. She gives me an amused look "you were waiting for me?" My blunt and unashamed affirmation startles and amuses her. Her clear, soft laugh breaks the silence in the garden and I notice something I should have since the day we met.
"I never asked for your name" I said
"Neither did I" she counters, the smile still on her face. "My name is Sasuke, of the Uchiha clan. Who are you?" She then looks down, embarrassment and an emotion I could not place written in her eyes. "I have many names" the girl said "you can choose from Street Rat, Filth, Peasant, Hindrance, Worthless thing and Vermin. Whichever you like is alright" tears were rimming her eyes, a blush was tinting her face and embarrassment was drowning her voice. This girl had no name. This girl had no home, no food, not even a pair of worn shoes to protect her feet or a decent coat to keep her warm. I looked up at the tree before behind us; it's a beautiful one my mother brought with me from her homeland in Japan. If I remember correctly, its name was…
"How about Sakura?" I say. She looks at me, confused for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"How about I call you Sakura?" I say "Sakura could be your name. Her emerald eyes widened and her tears of embarrassment fell, transforming into ones of joy, or so I hope. She nods her head excitedly and gives me a smile that made me forget myself for a moment.
"Well then, Sakura, I would like for you to accompany me for a moment" I ignore her questioning look and lead her inside the manor. I silently tour the house, slow enough for her to look at her surroundings but fast enough for her to keep going. We stop and enter to my study and I tell her to sit. She does so in one of the two red chairs in front of a mahogany desk at the end of the room, as I take my place facing her and away from the fireplace behind me.
"I understand that you have no place to go" I start, minding my words so as to not offend her " I know that you must be in need of a warm place to stay and food to keep yourself healthy" I look over at her, waiting for any denial or confirmation of my assumptions. She stays silent, looking at her hands folded in her lap. "That is why I show you my home. As you can see, there is more than enough room here, and I invite you to stay here for as long as you like." She gasps and snaps her head in my direction, looking at me incredulously. She says nothing, and her silence begins to worry me. Have I offended her? Have I said something wrong?
"Can I really? She breaks the silence, her voice disbelieving and amazed. Her eyes search my face for an answer, and she receives a nod as confirmation. Sakura stood up abruptly and ran out of the room before I could even call her name. I stood and followed as quickly as I could, only to catch a brief glimpse of her back disappearing through the front door. She left without a word, and now I am left alone in this empty house. Again. I sit back in my armchair and try to pretend this never happened. I am already dying. I do not need this feeling of rejection to hurt me further than I am hurting now. I close my eyes, not bothering to either eat or go to my bedchamber to rest the day away.
I wake up to the sound of a sharp knock echoing through the house. I stand abruptly from my uncomfortable position in the armchair, slightly wincing at the pain in my neck. I walk out the study and look to my left; a knock is coming from the front door. Puzzled and slightly disoriented, I walked to the door and open it. The sight of Sakura greeted me when I opened the door, smiling excitedly at me.
"Sorry I took so long! I live far away from this part of the city and it would take some time before I could get my things" she said. When I demanded an explanation for yesterday's odd behavior, she apologized and explained she lived in the other side of London, very near the border between London and Essex, and it would take her a long time to walk all the way from here to her little niche under one of the main bridges. As I look down at her, she was holding an old tin box in her arms.
"I have everything I've ever owned in here, and even though there is nothing of value, I hold each of these dear." I couldn't possibly care about what she had in that box right now. I was too preoccupied with these feelings of happiness and relief and excitement of having her here. To think I would spend the rest of my days with someone who would not take pity on me was thrilling. She did not know of my sickness; she did not have to know. I walked her to her new chambers, instructed her where her bathroom was and where she could find clothes, and I then left her to wash herself.
"I will meet you downstairs. There will be a meal ready for us in the dining room" and with that, I walked downstairs to quickly prepare said meal in the kitchen, silently praying she decided to take a long bath.
I hear her descending the stairs just as I finish serving the recently made dinner into two fine china plates. I set them down in the table and reach for the cutlery as I hear Sakura clear her throat.
"So? How do I look?" she jumps at the clanking and chinking sounds the cutlery makes as it hits the wooden floor. My eyes are wide, mouth slightly agape. Who is this person and what has she done with Sakura? I can barely recognize the girl in front of me. Now, with all the dirt and grime gone from her skin, I realize how beautiful she is. Her delicate frame, although malnourished, possesses a feminine curvature accentuated by the white sundress she wore. Her skin is as fair as porcelain, her facial features aristocratic and alluring; from her round eyes, sharp nose and full lips. But most of all, what shocked me was her hair. Her now unknotted, straight and damp hair is free of dirt, and I am able to see her hair was never an ashen brown color. Her hair was the color of corals from the Caribbean reefs, a pink so soft and beautiful and unique that made her emerald eyes even more intense. Sakura, I can definitely see the resemblance between your person and your name; you are the epitome of spring incarnated. I wake from my daydream and she takes her place across from me on the mahogany table. We trade smiles and for a moment, everything is perfect. Her company is delightful; it brings a certain life back into this old, somewhat abandoned manor, and sometimes I do not know if the manor is this house, or if it is me. She brings light into both of us, I guess. But time, please stop. Do not divide her and I, for it is her that has brought me life, and it is I who wants to protect her. Please, let me stay with her. Let the sands of time stop for us, let us live here eternally in this home we have created, just her and I.
Just like that, the days came and went with Sakura by my side. Every day was wonderful, every day was new and filled with happiness embedded into the most trivial things. We read in the study, we tended to the roses, we cooked and enjoyed an afternoon tea, we walked around town; we fell in love. All the while, Sakura knows nothing of my illness, and I am afraid every time I feel a bit more of my life leave my body, more of my energy abandon me, and more of my despair fill me. I do not want to die, I do not want to leave her. It feels too soon; too soon to fade away, too soon to fall into a sickbed, too soon for her to discover how my time is fading away. But she does, and still so very soon into our life together. She was in the garden one evening, I was bringing us tea, I remember. I felt my breath leave me, I felt the world spin and my vision darken; I felt myself falling. I felt myself hit the ground and being touched by gentle hands. I saw myself reflected in pools of teary emerald. I could faintly hear her screams as the world faded to black.
I remember I woke to the sound of voices, one which I could distinguish as Sakura's. I opened my eyes to see her talking to a tall man, a doctor. Their voices where almost whispers, and only stopped when they noticed I was staring at them. I slowly sat up, fighting the nausea and the pain coursing through my head. Sakura walked the doctor out the door, and when she came back, a thunderous storm was raging in her eyes as she looked at me with anger and hurt.
"When were you planning to tell me, Sasuke?" she said in a low voice, avoiding my gaze and trying to control the anger running through her shaking body.
"I'm sorry, Sakura. I did not want to burden you with such knowledge" she looks at me then with a hurt look painted on her pretty face. "Burden me? How could you say that Sasuke? You could never burden me, if anything; you would have only encouraged me to be a doctor! To find remedies! Anything! But never burden me" sobs were racking her body and tears streamed from her eyes as she demanded to know the truth. She knew of my sickness now, but she wanted to hear it from me, she wanted the truth, and I will give it to her. I gesture her to sit beside me when I make room for her in the spacious bed. As she sits, I tell her everything. I tell her about my ill mother, my abusive father, my smart brother and the fate that awaited me at the end of these few weeks. She was silent the whole time, listening attentively and I could hear her heart break at the unavoidable end of this story.
"Sakura" she looks up at me, tears still rimming her eyes "do not pity me, for I have never lived better than before I met you. Just, continue to smile at me the way you always do, continue to share your time with what I have left. Please just stay with me as you are, I need nothing else."
She fell asleep while crying that night. That is all that she has been doing for the past few days. We laugh, we read and walk and have fun all day, and by night, I am kept awake by the sobs that echo once more through these empty halls. Tonight is no different. I trudge to her room, slightly out of breath from the effort my legs are making to carry my weight, and find her sound asleep in her bed, her face tearstained and showing her pain, is she having nightmares, I wonder. I crawl into bed beside her, and stroke her face, I remove the coral locks that stop me from admiring her beautiful face, and I whisper "How many times has it been? You often fall asleep while crying, do not deny this. I close my eyes and remember her words from last night. "Hey Sasuke, I had a dream" I am hurting, I am hurting for her right now. I lower my head and embrace her gently "I beg you, Sakura," I whisper "A dream where our beloved roses wither and fall, as if they were fading away, forever." "Don't cry like that when I'm gone"
Right now, she is sleeping beside me as I watch the moonlight pool around her frame. I take a moment to admire the sheer beauty of this moment, of the feeling her of having her close to me, to know her heart is mine and mine is hers. I had always lived lethargically, but I finally found the first thing I did not want to let go of. After all this time I came across someone dear to me, more than anyone or anything, yet I will not last enough to cherish her. I will not be here long enough to reach old age with her, and I will abandon her when her life has barely begun. She accompanied me and banished my solitude, she has understood and known me like nobody ever will; we had laughed together, cried together and lived together. If only I could leave something for her to hold on to in loving memory. I stand without waking her and leave the room. I lean on the walls and finally, after much pain and struggle, I reach my study. I sit in my desk and with pen, ink and paper in hand, I write. When finally satisfied, I return to her side. She is crying again, I notice as I lay beside her. She looks at me and says "I'll be with you Sasuke, until the last rose dies" sobs rake her small frame, tears run freely through her porcelain skin as she clutched my hand. "Until the last rose dies, Sakura" I hope that when she wakes, she will find my letter in her hand. I lean to her and kiss her. The most tender, honest and heartbreaking kiss. This is a kiss that is both sorrowful and all consuming; a kiss that is the essence of love itself, a kiss that is intertwined with goodbye. Finally, I have lived.
"You, who has forgotten everything; I, who remembers it all: all of your secrets, your pains, flaws and virtues. I, who loved you, cannot help but wonder. If I were to also die, would all of this disappear?"
FIN
I hope I was able to portray this story as good as it looked in my head XD I also hope you enjoyed the little one-shot. please review and see you next time! If you are reading my other story, Finding Solace, I will also be updating that one very soon!
-Aiiro Hart