Kaizoku 9/2
I own neither Ranma ½ nor One Piece, I do however own my renditions of God, Fate, and Chaos.
"I'M BORED!" whined Luffy as he leaned over the railing of the Thousand Sunny. The weather was surprisingly calm for the New World and nothing had happened for nearly 5 minutes leading to Luffy's current predicament. The rest of the crew were off doing various things themselves. Nami was tending to her tangerines, Sanji was preparing lunch, Franky was steering, Usopp was on lookout, Zoro was asleep, Robin was reading, Chopper was mixing Rumble balls, and Brook was working on a new song, thus leaving no one to amuse Luffy.
"Shut up Luffy!" Nami yelled at him. "Why don't you just go sit at your perch or something until lunch is done?"
"But I don't wanna…" Luffy whined.
"OI, Luffy stop bothering Nami-san!" Sanji shouted at his bored captain.
"Urusai* Ero-Cook, you're too loud." Zoro told Sanji.
(*Urusai = Shut up)
"What was that Marimo*?" Sanji
(*Marimo = moss ball,moss-head)
"I said Shut up, what are you deaf?" Zoro said as he stood up preparing to fight.
The two of them then began one of their trade mark brawls, while Franky yelled at them for endangering the ship, and Luffy just laughed at the whole thing, finally amused.
Meanwhile in Heaven…
The Heavenly Tiger, or Heaven's Omnipotent Beastly Benefactor and Eternal Savior as he had taken to calling himself, was enjoying a nice walk through the yard looking for a nice sunbeam to curl up and take a nap in, when he saw something terrible. He hid in a bush as he watched Chaos putting a squirrel in a cage, locking it up, surely against its will, for no reason at all. This was something that as the self proclaimed 'Savior of the animal kingdom', he could not allow. So shortly after Chaos left, he snuck up to the cage and released the squirrel.
"Go my furry friend! Be free and return to your rightful place on earth!" He yelled. With that said, he teleported the squirrel to said planet.
"ACK! Hobbes what are you doing?!" Chaos Shouted at the tiger.
"Who are you talking to? Me?" the tiger asked him.
"Of course I am you stupid Fleabag, There's no one else here! I thought I'd start calling you Hobbes." Chaos said.
"Why Hobbes?" asked the Heavenly Tiger.
"Because Heaven's Omnipotent Beastly Benefactor and Eternal Savior is too hard to say in conversation; besides it's an acronym." replied Chaos.
The Heavenly Tiger pondered a moment before replying, "Then shouldn't it be HOBBES?"
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Chaos yelled.
"No you said Hobbes, if it's an acronym it should be capitalized." said the tiger sticking his tongue out at Chaos.
"Oh shut up we don't have time to be breaking the fourth wall here, we need to catch that squirrel before it's too late!" Chaos spat at Hobbes.
"NO! I will not allow you to capture my fellow creatures and hold them against their will!" Hobbes proclaimed.
"THAT'S NOT A REAL SQUIRREL! IT'S AN INCOMPLETE CHAOS GENERATOR!" Chaos screamed.
"Don't yell at me! How was I supposed to know that?" Hobbes yelled back.
Chaos, at that point nearly fuming simply pointed at a sign underneath the cage. On it was written: Chaos Generator, DO NOT RELEASE.
"What? I don't have time to read boring things like signs, I have a VERY busy schedule, with napping, eating tuna fish sandwiches, pranking your sister with you, oh and then there are the comic books…" Hobbes continued listing the various ways that he goofed off during the day.
"Aho* baka*," Chaos muttered under his breath. "Anyway we need to find that Generator before it gathers too much magical energy, I didn't add the stabilizers yet. Follow me."
(*Aho = Stupid, Idiot; *Baka = Stupid, Idiot)
"Fine, but where are we going?" asked Hobbes.
"I built a tracker into it, as well as a magic detector so I can track its movements and find any nearby magical reservoirs."
"What will happen if it adsorbs too much magic right now?" Hobbes asked.
"For all I Know it could explode and destroy the entire world, it depends on just how much magic it adsorbs." Chaos then went on to explain the finer points of his creation, while Hobbes pretended to understand what he was saying.
Meanwhile on a beach in Japan…
The Tendos and Ranma-chan (his girl form) were enjoying a nice day at the beach. Then Kuno showed up. He was about to ask Ranma to go on a date with him when a squirrel ran by being chased by a cat. Upon seeing the cat, Ranma freaked.
"EEYAAAAA! He screamed before fainting.
Seeing this Kuno leapt into action to punish the 'Foul creature that dares to ruin Tatewaki Kuno's date with the lovely Pigtailed Goddess.' And He thus began to chase the cat.
Elsewhere on the beach Cologne was in a small room at a beach house preparing a ritual that would help make Ranma fall in love with Shampoo. Happosai was reading the instructions for some magical doodad to get revenge on Ranma for ruining his 'Fun' last week and, Gosunkugi was also preparing a magical ritual to defeat Ranma, while Ukyo was outside selling okonomiyaki*. All in all a rather average turn of events for Nerima. Then a squirrel ran into the building, followed by a cat, followed by Kuno who was wildly swinging his sword yelling at the cat for ruining his date with the pigtailed goddess. Kuno then managed to destroy the building's walls, (luckily the building was insured against Martial Artist attacks, being on the beach that Ranma had visited every year after coming to the Tendo's) however he still missed the cat. As luck would have it Cologne, Happosai, and Gosonkugi were all using different rooms of the same building. The squirrel, which was actually the incomplete Chaos Generator, then absorbed all of the magic from the rituals and the magic item.
(*Okonomiyaki = A pancake/pizza like food)
The 'Squirrel' then started glowing and 'said', "WARNING! MAGICAL BATTERIES OVERLOADED. STABILITY CRITICAL! DESTRUCTION IMMINENT!" the message was then repeated every five seconds.
By then Kuno had caught the offending cat and was sternly lecturing it. The cat was listening intently because when someone is crazy enough to lecture a cat, you damn well ought to listen, plus its instincts were telling it that if it DIDN'T listen, it would regret it. The IMPORTANT people meanwhile were discussing how to get the 'Squirrel' as far away as possible as quickly as possible. Cologne then hurled it towards the ocean at Chestnut speed after about 20 seconds the 'squirrel' exploded with a big 'DOOOOOOM' sound, leaving behind a giant portal, however it was far enough away that it was barely visible.
Meanwhile in heaven…
Chaos and Hobbes got to the Tracking room just in time to see the signal from the incomplete chaos generator disappear to be replaced by an immense inter dimensional fluctuation.
"Awww crapbaskets." Chaos said as he saw this. Sighing he began to look at the data from the fluctuation so he could show it to his siblings when they met up so they would yell at him a bit less when he told them of the mess that Hobbes had caused.
Meanwhile in the New World…
Zoro and Sanji were STILL fighting after they started about 15 miniatures ago when Usopp suddenly shouted from the lookout area over the loud speaker.
"O-OI! What's that thing over there? It looks like a big dark oval." Usopp observed before joining the rest of the crew on deck.
"Ngh? What the hell is Usopp blabbing about now?" Zoro asked, both him and Sanji temporarily forgetting about their fight.
"What is that thing?" Nami somewhat shakily asked.
"SUGOI! OI, ROBIN, what is that thing?" Luffy asked with sparkles around his face.
"It appears to be some kind of portal. I've read about these. It is said that great treasures lie within them, however, no one who has entered one has ever been seen again. It's probably full of hideous monsters that will rip our limbs off." Robin calmly said.
"Oi, Don't say that so calmly," Usopp said.
"WHAAAA! I DON'T WANT MY LIMBS RIPPED OFF! Z-ZORO! TASUKE TE*!" Chopper cried and he latched onto Zoro's head.
(Tasuke te = Help me, Save me)
"OI! CHOPPER! Get off my head!"
"Ah?" Luffy said looking quite confused, "so then, it's a Mystery Hole full of treasure?"
Robin giggled at Luffy's antics before replying with a sunny smile, "Hai*, Luffy-san."
(*Hai = Yes)
"AHHHHH!" Nami screamed suddenly.
"Nami-swan, are you okay?" Sanji asked her.
"U-uso*. Why me? No, no, no," Nami stammered looking at the Log Pose on her wrist.
(*Uso = Lies, Liar)
"What's wrong Nami-swan?" Sanji asked concerned.
Nami held up her wrist and showed them all the Log Pose. All three needles were pointing at the portal, and shaking, violently. Everyone but Luffy was stunned, with Usopp and Chopper cowering in fear together.
"Shee hee hee," Luffy laughed, "YOSH*! It looks like we're going to the mystery hole! IKUZO*!"
(*Yosh = an expletive such as Yeah or yes; *Ikuzo = Let's go)
"LUFFY, matte, didn't you hear Robin say how dangerous it is?" Usopp said trying to coax Luffy out of wanting to go into the portal.
"Hontoni*?" Luffy asked now even MORE excited about entering the 'mystery hole'. "YOSH! Ikuzo! TO THE MYSTERY HOLE!"
(*Hontoni = Really)
"But Luffy…" Nami began only to be cut off.
"Captain's orders" Luffy proclaimed with his signature grin.
"Hai." Usopp, Nami, and Chopper said hanging their heads in defeat, depression lines surrounding them.
And so the Straw hats set off towards the portal to discover where it would take them.