I wrote this in response to AndromedaWrites story Bullet Proof Love. It's probably best to read that story first.
Another night and another nightmare within a nightmare. Cress started awake, the smell of blood seeming to cling to her even all these years after his death. It had really seemed like he was with her just then, her captain. It always seemed like he was with her in the nightmares. Until the bloody iron stench that permeated all her memories of Thorne wound its way into her illusion and shattered it.
As she always did Cress slid one arm to the other side of the bed. She half expected it to still be empty, like it had for so many years. Instead she found Cinder's arm and with the assurance of her presence Cress allowed herself to roll over and look at the woman she had grown to love. Cinder was blinking awake, roused by Cress' touch.
"The nightmare?" Cinder asked groggily, pushing her long hair out of her face.
Cress nodded through her tears and Cinder scooped her into her arms.
"It's okay." Cinder murmured into Cress hair and stroked her back. "It'll be okay."
Cress tried to believe her. To believe that she might one day make it through a night without dreaming of his death and how she had been unable to save him.
Sometimes just lying in Cinder's arms was enough for Cress to fall back asleep, but others –like tonight –she couldn't seem to find any peace. Her tears stilled under Cinder's touch but her mind was still racing from the memories.
Like always, Cinder noticed. "Bad one tonight, huh?" She said gently.
Cinder kissed Cress' forehead and then pulled away to grab the mugs she kept next to her side of the bed, her metal hand clinking against the ceramic. She handed the mugs to Cress and then the cocoa tin. Cress filled the mugs with the powder absently while Cinder started their electric kettle. Cinder took the mugs back from Cress and gave her face a searching look.
"I'm going to add… lavender tonight." Cinder said. "Sound okay?"
Cress nodded and tried to smile. Cinder held the mugs in one hand and pushed Cress' hair behind her ear with her other. "I love you." She whispered and this time Cress did smile.
"Love you too." Cress whispered back.
Cinder gave her a quick kiss and then finished making the cocoa. Cress pulled the comforter up around her shoulders and snuggled into Cinder's side as she settled back into bed. Cinder wrapped her arm around Cress' shoulders and they sipped the cocoa in the blue haze of the nightlight. Cinder had picked it out and she always made sure it was on before they went to bed.
"Cinder, do you miss him too?" Cress asked.
Cinder took a deep breath. "Of course I do. Everyday." She said.
Cress rested her head on Cinder's shoulder and Cinder played with Cress' hair.
She would never be over Thorne. In these warm moments with Cinder though, Cress was at least able to grasp happiness. That was more than she had hoped for in a long time. Who knew what she might gain in the future.