"Hazel. Honey. I really think we should go to the hospital-", my mom panicked, rubbing my back as I bent over the toilet bowl, trying my hardest not to throw up anymore.

"I'll be fine, mom!", I told her. I didn't mean to yell, but, I knew I'd be fine and I hated it when she worried like that. This had started two weeks ago and happened every morning since, it was just another thing to add to the long list of side effects of dying. I'd throw up for, like, ten or fifteen minutes and then I'd be okay. No big deal. But its weird. It didn't feel like throwing up should feel when you have cancer. It was like I'd eaten too much, but these days, I hardly ate at all. I wasn't intentionally trying to starve myself, or get attention, or worry people. I just wasn't hungry. I'd been like that ever since Augustus Waters left this world. The cocky, crooked smiled love of my life. God, I miss him. He's probably the only person that would believe me when I said "I'll be fine" rather than ignoring me and continuing to worry like my mom and dad. I know they have every right to worry, with a grenade for a daughter, but I wish they wouldn't. I hate seeing them worry. After I'd convinced my mom that I was fine, I grabbed Phillip and went back to my bedroom to get dressed and ready to visit Gus's grave. It was Saturday and I always visited him on a Saturday. On Wednesday's, I'd pick up Isaac and we'd go and see him together, but Saturday's were the days when I would just want to be alone with him for a while. Well, not him. More like the stone in the ground that bares his name, but I like to think he listens to me when I ramble on, wherever he is. After I had gotten dressed, I hauled Phillip down the stairs, grabbed my car keys and off I went. I stopped off at the gas station first. The same gas station I rushed to to find Augustus when an infection started to spread around his G-Tube. That's probably one of my worst memories of him. Not because he was covered in his own vomit or because he was crying, but because there was nothing I could do to help him. Nothing I could do to make it all go away for him. But I'd always come back to this gas station, I'd go anywhere Augustus and I had been together. I don't really know why. I guess its comforting in some sort of weird way. Anyway, I picked up a bunch of orange tulips and got back in my car and continued on my journey. I sat with him for a good few hours. Just telling him how I'd been doing at the hospital, how my parents were freaking out because I'd started throwing up, how I missed him more and more every day. I was completely and utterly honest with him as I always was. I told him the reason I was more annoyed than usual at my parents freaking out and the reason I knew I was alright was because I think I'm pregnant. I'd never really had what you'd call a normal period because of the cancer, but even though they weren't normal to begin with, there was definitely something irregular now, considering I wasn't having them at all. It all kind of fitted the more I thought about it. The issues with the condom in Amsterdam, the sudden vomiting and the absence of a period. So after I poured my heart out to Augustus, I decided to stop by at Isaac's place and consider telling him. I knew I needed to talk to someone who would actually be able to talk back, and I couldn't think of anyone else to talk to. Isaac's mom let me in. I found Isaac in his room with his headphones on. I tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Hazel from Support Group", he smiled.

"Wow, you're really getting good at this sniffing thing", I laughed as I sat beside him on his bed.

"You're wearing Gus's t-shirt, how could I not know that smell?", he smiled. I pretty much wore that t-shirt all the time. "So, what can I do for you? Game of Counterinsurgency? Rant? Advice?".

"Just your ears would be good right now", I sighed. Isaac shuffled closer to me, I guess he could sense the neediness in my voice.

"Fire away", he said. I had to get this over with quickly, it was so hard preparing to tell someone in the flesh. I had to do it just like ripping off a band-aid.

"I think I'm pregnant", I said, not even thinking about what his reaction would be. I just needed to say it.

"Gus?", he said quietly.

"Yeah"

"Have you taken a test?"

"No", I said quietly.

"Well, lets go to the pharmacy and get one", he said. I couldn't believe how mature he was being about the whole thing. Not that I didn't think he was mature. I just didn't expect this reaction.

"Okay", I said before helping Isaac down the stairs and leading him out to my car. The drive to the pharmacy felt like forever. Like each mile closer we got, another 5 miles would be added. That was when I realized I had been driving around the block.

"Hazel? We should be there by now?", Isaac said.

"Sorry", I sighed, finally driving in the right direction.

"Its gonna be okay", Isaac spoke softly.

I thought being stared at because of my cannula and Phillip was intense but the way the people in that store stared at me when I walked up to that counter with a pregnancy test was a whole new level of intense. As if a teenage girl in my "condition" shouldn't be allowed to have sex. After that, Isaac and I found some public toilets and he waited outside whilst I found a cubicle to take the test in. I must have sat on the top of that toilet seat for a good 10 minutes just staring at the box before I heard Isaac.

"Hazel? Are you done?", he asked. I opened the cubicle door and made my way out to Isaac, putting the pregnancy test in my bag.

"I- I cant", I told him honestly.

"You have to find out, Hazel", he told me seriously. I knew he was right but I needed time to think. That night I laid on the top of my bed, just staring at the ceiling as if some sort of answer from Augustus would begin to appear before me. Before I knew it I could feel myself slowly drifting off to sleep. He was there. Stood right by funky bones with that crooked smile plastered across his face as he looked at me. My cannula was gone and Phillip wasn't by my side, so I ran. I ran as fast as I could until I finally reached him. I could feel his touch and it felt incredible. My body trembled with complete elation. He ran his fingers through my hair as I looked up at him. "What do I do Augustus?", I asked, and I could feel myself beginning to cry. He simply smiled softly at me before taking his hand from my hair and placing it against my cheek. "Hazel Grace. You don't need me to tell you what to do. You already know. Okay?", he spoke softly. I reached up and kissed him, tenderly, placing my hand on the back of his head so that he couldn't slip away. "Okay.", I told him. I opened my eyes to find myself back in my room and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I grabbed my cell phone and began to dial Dr Maria's number and we arranged to meet that morning at the hospital.

"Hazel? Where are you going?", my mom asked as I reached for the front door.

"I'm just going to see Isaac", I told her, opening the door.

"Cant it wait? You haven't even had breakfast", she said. I sighed.

"I'm not hungry. But I wont be long. I'll have something when I get back", I smiled softly at her, trying to convince her I was okay. It never really worked but she let me go anyway.