Castiel:
He had looked everywhere.
On Earth, where the rumors had Him staying.
On the other, uninhabited planets, in other solar systems, even in other worlds and timelines.
Nothing.
Castiel had talked with shamans, priests, psychics and even pagent gods.
Nothing. As Dean would have said, The big kahounah was gone.
Castiel had one more place to look, but he had no idea of how to do that:
Some said that God was in his creations, since God had created the humans in his own image. Of cause, all angels knew that it wasn't litteraly, but Castiel was out of options. He had to search inside the humans. He wasn't sure if it was ment litterally or not, so he started with trying to figure out the human mind. He had tried the human way, reading up on what humans knew about their own minds, which didn't help him. It only gave him a headache. Well, if he did get headaches, this would defiantly had brought one on him. He tried talking to humans, interact with them. Obvius, that didn't work, eigther. His only options of a human study, would be the three hunters whom he knew best: The Winchesters and Bobby Singer. Bobby Singer's older mind had been the one whom he found it the most difficult to work with. The Winchesters younger minds were easier to work with. Castiel wouldn't invade their privat thoughts or minds, it would have only proved to infurriate them and that would do him no good. Sam Winchester had before hell, been very eager to talk to The Angel, to teach him things and to correct him when he failed to intact prober with other humans. After Hell and the loss of his soul, things between him and Sam had changed. Castiel didn't hear his prayers as strongly anymore, when he prayed, which was rarer then his brother. Castiel felt a strong urge to ignore his phone calls and he was at unease when the younger Winchester was around. It was then that Castiel turned to Dean, whom had shuned him for so long, only used him as his personal tool in the war between Heaven and Hell. Castiel had known all along what his own role was in the Apocalypse and he had done what he was told. Most of the times, it was the same as what Dean had told him to do. But now, the battle was over, God was missing and Dean was hunting again, with his soulless brother by his side. Castiel didn't know anymore, what the future held for any of them and it frustrated him. He had to find God, to get some answers and guidence from his Father. And Dean Winchester was his last hope. Again. Dean Winchester was...had been, the chosen one. Michaels vessel, chosen by God, a long time ago, before creation of man. It was his destiny. Dean Winchester had refused. Dean Winchester had rebeled. Dean Winchester had stood between Michael and Lucifer before the battle, taunting them both. Dean Winchester had in that moment, taught an Angel to rebel. Castiel would not, could not, forget that. That day, Castiel had felt the precense of God. God had brought the Angel back from oblivion, to stand by the humans. God had brought the soldier back as a Leader and a Guardian, to save Dean Winchester, to save the Heavens from the chaos that now would rule under Raphaels rule. The heavens had to remain strong. It was Gods will. It had to be. Castiel had long learned that Jimmy Novak was to no help. He had resented the Angel after posessing his daughter. It had been a mess and Jimmy had stayed quiet for years now. Not that Castiel had sought his compagny. They both keept to them self and eventhough it wouldt had been easy for Castiel to search for God inside Jimmy, he still respected the human too much to do that. Castiel wasn't sure if Jimmys mind would had survived the invasion if he had done it without permission and Castiel was not a murderer. Not yet, anyway. Sometimes, Castiel wondered what his role was now, after the Apocalypse. Was he to save the Heavens or to stay on Earth, with the Winchesters? Everything in his being, pulled him towards the Heavens, to do what he could, to save his Fathers kingdom from the corruptions that was Raphael and his minions. But there was also someting else inside him, that made him stop and listen everytime Dean Winchester called for him, everytime he prayed for him. At first, the Angel had used the staff of Moses as an excuse and when Sam Winchester, the boy without a soule, had tricked him into comming to Earth, he had almost killed the boy right there and then. But then the Angel saw something in the soulless man, something that sparked hope in the Angel: Even without soul, the man was capabel of feeling and showing affection, love even, towards his brother. Enough to threathen a Warrior of God with death. An impossible task and at first it had amused Castiel, that the man had threathened him. Was he really that stupid? But then he had seen it. In his eyes. Love. Sam Winchester did this for love of his brother. He lied to his brother, out of love. A confusing emotion for a soulless man, Castiel knew that, and he had to respect the man for that. He had played along, half assed yeah, but still, he had been there, and for a short moment, Castiel had felt like the Apocalypse had never happened. That the heavens was still under some sort of order under Micheals rule and that Cas was still part of the odd little hunting squad and that Dean, explaining the rules of watching human mating rituals on tv, was the most natural thing in the world. Then Samuel and the demon Meg had showed up and things had spun out of control in an instant.
Castiel had now stopped time in Heaven and had listened for Dean Winchester. He was safe, tucked into bed in a motel. Castiel didn't know where, but he could feel Deans heartbeat, feel his even breathing and his dreaming being restfull. For once. Castiel knew he should let the man get some much needed sleep, and that he him self should stay in the battle, but now was probably the best oppertunity he would get in a long time, to speak to Dean. So he left the battlefield and entered Deans subconsion.
Castiel quickly chosed a familiar setting for his conversation with Dean and suddently Dean looked up at him from the bench. This was one of Castiels favorite moments with Dean, and he often brought Dean back to this spot, whenever he needed to talk to the human. Dean didn't seem surpriced to see him. Quiet the oppersit. "Hey Cas." He half sighed and looked around the empty play ground."What's up this time?"
Castiel was still standing, suddently feeling strange feelings in his stomach, at hearing Deans voice. It wasn't a nice feeling, knowing Dean expected him to bring bad news. The Angel still haden't gotten used to the whole Guarding Angel thing. Castiel felt he was better suited as a soldier, but he also felt that he had to guard Dean Winchester and therefore he had had to be brought back as a Guardian Angel.
Right?
Castiel sighed. He really could use some divine guidiance right about now!?
Still nothing.
He sat down on the bench beside Dean, still feeling the urge to protect him, even in his own subconsions. "How are you feeling Dean?" he started, both because he felt the need to soften the situation, but also because he really wanted to know. That was also new for him, to inquire to humans emotions. He could feel Dean turn his head to look at him, but Castiel keept his stare at the swings. After so many millions of years, this still facinated the Angel. The human mind, consius or not. So many possibilities...
"Really?" Deans unbeliving voice cut through his thoughts.
The Angel turned his stare at him, confused. "Is that not the prober way of greating?" he asked, eventhough he knew what the human meant. He usually always did, except when he used strange references. Earlier, Sam Winchester had helped the Angel out, but lately, not so much.
Dean didn't buy his smoke and mirrors. "Cut the bull, Cas. Why are you here?"
Castiel looked him straight in the eyes: "I need your help, Dean."
Dean snorted, so what else was new? "Im sure you do, with what?" Eventhough the voice was irritated, Castiel could easilly tell that Dean was not. Actually, he was calm and collected, almost at peace. As much as a hunter could feel at peace. Castiel knew it was due to his precense, in this dream, this fictive version of the hunters subconsion. It made Castiel feel good, that he could bring this peace to the hunters mind, even though it was only temperarily.
"I can't find Him, Dean." that made the hunter lean forward on his knees, listing more intently to the Angel.
"God?" the Angel nodded. Dean sucked in the air his lungs needed after what must have felt like a sucker punch to him. Eventough Dean tried to deny it, he did belive. He had faith in Castiel to find God, to bring order in the universe again. This, of cause, he would never admit to, but Castiel knew him better then he thought. And he knew that this could destroy the man, if he didn't find something else to belive in.
"How can I help? I mean, you still got my amulet, right?" Castiel nodded again, then stood up and took a few steps from the bench. Dean remained seated and Castiel could feel the humans pulse starting to race. He felt bad for putting Dean in that situation so he turned to look at the human.
"I still have one place to look." Dean was looking like his patience was running thin, so Castiel continued."I need to get inside of you."
Dean paled and swallowed a lump, then said:"Excuse me? What does that mean? Please let that be angel-slang for...something other then what I'm thinking." Castiel didn't know what Dean was thinking, but he had a fairly good idea.
"Some say, that God is in his creations. I have searched every other places, besides inside the humans. I need you to let me enter your mind, body and soul, to search for him." Dean remained quiet so Castiel continued "I have already thought of using my own vessel, but Jimmy and I...my relations with Jimmy has been quiet for some time now. I cannot enter his soul without permission."
Dean looked sceptical at the Angel and stood up.
"So, you telling me, Jimmy is giving you the silent treatment?"
Castiel knew a joke was about to come on his expence, but he didn't mind, nor did he react. Dean was still digesting what Castiel had just said.
"Well, way to go Jimmy." It wasn't as big a punch line as Castiel had imagined, but Dean wasn't done. "Why do you think you'll find him inside me? You do remember who you are talking to, right? It's not like I have been one of Gods best children, so unless he is playing hookie in me, I really think you are barking up the wrong hell-reject!"
Castiel took a step closer to Dean, wanting to make sure the human understood what he meant. Dean didn't back down. He hadn't done so for some time now, Castiel realised. "No matter what you think of your self as a human being, you should show some respect. God created you like this for a reason, made you do those things you so judge your self by, for a reason. Whom are you to understand the divine power of man? So grow up and deal with it. You are here on this Earth for a reason Dean, weather you like it or not."
Deans eyes narrowed a bit at that and after a few moments of tense silence where neighter man nor angel backed down, he said: "So, your here to tell me to buck up and take it like a man? Sorry Cas, I don't bend over for anybody, especially not God. So no, go find your self another ass to creep up in, cause you sure as hell wont find anything in mine." With that said, Dean turned away from the Angel and went back to the bench and sat down. "Now, if you don't mind sending me back to my head? I was in the middle of something back there."
Castiel could feel the anger boil in him. Yet again, Dean Winchester turned out to be a dissapointment. Dean may feel he was loosing hope, but Castiel knew that if it werent for the humans and their faith in the Angels, none of them would be there. Dean had to get his act together.
"This isn't over." Castiel informed Dean before returning him to his own mind.
Dean:
He woke up with a gasp, starring up in the dark celing, still seing Cas' disapointed blue eyes bore in to his own. Dean sighed and looked over at Sams empty bed. Cas' last words still rang in his ears, the warning clear as a bell. Dean knew that if Cas really wanted, he could kick his ass from here to eternaty. Been there, done that, last time, Dean had been sure the Angel would had killed him. Actually, Dean had begged the furrius angel to do it. He hadn't. He had apparently still seen hope for him. And now Dean refused to do this for him. To help him searsh for God. Inside of him. If, and it was a big IF, God was still out there, there was no where in hell he would be inside Dean. It would be the worse hidding place ever! Every week, something new is trying to kill him and if it isn't some unknown weird assed creature from beyond, it's his own brother, just because he doesn't know better! One would think that if the devine spirite of GOD was over you, you would have a little more sence then Dean Winchester, who ate, drank and fucked when ever he wanted, with whom ever he wanted. Not likely to be the resting place of the Creator of all. No, Cas had it all wrong, and now he was off somewhere sulking because Dean didn't play nicely. Well, not this time Cas, find somebody else to be your Allanis Morisette! He knew it was a futile job to fall back to sleep now. It always were after a nightly visit from Cas, so he got up and looked at the clock. 3:23. Great, he groaned, just great. He grabed his boots and jacket and went in search of Sam.
Castiel:
Dean Winchester had refused. Castiel didn't have any other options then to find what he was looking for, somewhere else. He would not give up this easilly.
The mans name was Gary...something. Castiel didn't care, he had granted him acces and The Angel and sought in his body, mind and soul.
Nothing.
He left the man shortly after that.
Castiel felt defeted. Empty. Beaten. He suddently understod how Dean had felt just before going to the praying man on the street, accepting to be Michaels vessel. There was no other way for things to go down.
Castiel could eigther accept defeat and let Raphael control the Heavens and let Paradise spread to Earth, wiping the humans of the surface of the planet.
It would be the easy thing, the smart thing. The humans had turned out to be a destructive race, a race that didn't live up to its full potential. A hatefull, spitefull and petty race that always started wars, fought, killed and destroyed everything in its path. Very much like the Angels.
Castiel did see the irony in that.
Suddently, he heard his name being called from somewhere far far away. He reconiced the need, sorrow and defeat in the voice, it was a voice of prayer. It was not the usual hymen or rhythmic prayer humans had passed down through generations, from father to son, from mother to daughter. No, this was different, but the underlying note of total surrender and strenght was there.
It was unmistakenly a prayer and it was from Dean.
Castiel could do nothing but obay and appear on the field just out of Wyoming where his charge was standing.
Dean :
The unmistakenly flutter of wings and the slight warm breeze made Dean look up at the Angel. Castiel looked...different. Angry and empty all at the same time. The pircing look in his eyes, made Dean swallow a lump in his throath, remembering who, what, his friend was. He sometimes forgot...
Dean should let him do this...he had his doubts about it all, but maybe he could finally do something good with this miserable life of his. And making Castiel, a soldier of Heaven, happy or just, letting him have this, would be worth it, no matter how unpleasent it may be.
But, what would he do, once Cas found out what Dean had known all the time? That God was nowhere to be found, and especially not in Dean Winchester. How would Cas handle that? What could Dean do to lessen the blow?
One thing first, Winchester, he reminded himself once Castiel had arrived. The Angel didn't say anything, just stared at him with those ice blue eyes that gave Dean the creeps. He cleared his throath and stepped closer to the man...Angel...whatever.
"Cas, I'm ehh, I'm sorry, about earlier you know, but you can't just spring that on a guy, asking him to roam around his being like that, it's creepy!"
Castiel didn't as much as twitch, at Deans ramble, and that was probably even worse that the icy stare. Usually, Castiel made a tilt of the head or moved a little around, but this deadly still stare, with those empty eyes...
"Hey, man, are you okay?" he stepped closer to the Angel and could now smell that unmistakenly smell of Castiel which he never could pinpoint. Softener and...summer, perhabs? Does summer smell? Dean didn't know.
"What did you want, Dean?" Cas didn't sound angry, he didn't even sound upset. He was calm and emotionless. Dean didn't really know what to do or say, this was not what he had expected. "Oh yeah right, uh...well, I've thought about it and ehh, you can use me. If you want." He added when Cas straightned his back.
"I can use you?" he said. " I can use you?! You've suddently decided to chip in on the search on the divine power of the universe, and I CAN USE YOU?!" suddently, the anger flared in the eyes of the soldier and as he took a few fast steps toward Dean, the human couldn't help but flinch and step back. Castiels face was now only inches from his own and Dean could feel the heat radiate from the Angel. It wasn't a pleasent heat.
His nose flared and his eyes had turned a dark blue that wasn't normal for the angel. Dean swore he could see specks of silver in them and hadn't his brain frosen, he would had guessed it was Grace in Castiels eyes. But his brain did freeze and he could only look down at the angel and wait for it to catch up. It didn't. But Castiel wasn't done:
"Well, isn't THAT just great! We're saved, Dean Winchester "ALLOWES" the "ANGEL" to "USE" his "body"!" Dean didn't understand why Cas was so angry, it wasn't his idea and it was Cas who had called his dream in the first place! Dean would had told him all that, if his brain and mouth would cooporate.
But they wouldn't.
Cas moved even closer to his face, eventhough Dean would had sworn that that wasn't even possible.
"Well, as usual, Dean,"he spat, "it's too little, too late!" that seemed to snap Dean back to life and with a horse voice he asked:
"What do you mean by that, Cas?" He didn't want to know, he really didn't. But he already knew. Cas just stood there, starring, flarring, heating.
Suddently a change came over the angel. It was as if someone called his name, and his head turned to stare out in the darkness.
"What is it?" Dean knew something was wrong, he had seen that look on Castiels face to many times NOT to know. Suddently, Cas pounded Dean to the ground, covering as much of his body with his own smaller one, shielding him from a blinding light from above. The brightness of the light bore into Deans eyes and had it not been for Castiels hand covering his mouth, he would had screamed in agony. Suddently, everything turned black and cold and quiet.
Castiel:
He knew he couldn't cover the bigger body of the human underneath his oven, but he also knew that Dean would be found and taken, had he not reacted. The light and the voice of Raphael was to much for the humans frail ears and mind. It would be destroyed by the sounds alone. Castiel let his wings unfold and covered Dean Winchester, leaving himself vulnerable for the onslaught of Raphael. He could feel the Archangels power from above pircing through him. He had to act, now, for his ovn sake, and for Deans sake. Castiel pushed back at the powers from above.
"Not this time Raphael!" he thought, and heard the stronger angel laugh at his efforts. Suddently, he was gone, and the night was quiet again. Castiel fell gasping to the ground, the battle taking more from him then he had expected. He looked over at Dean whom was passed out, but was safe.
Dean Winchester was safe.
Castiel folded his wings back in his vessel and placed his hand on the humans chest and he thought of the Impala. He could't find Sam anymore, but he could still zoom in on the car. It was just as important as the brothers themself.
Sam:
He heard it before he saw it. The two figures on the hood of his brothers beloved car and Sam knew that Dean would flip if somebody as much as scratched his car, and a flipping Dean was so not what he needed right now, it would not help him at all.
So he hurried up and went to the car. "Hey! Punk! Get away from the..." then he saw who it was and he started running.
Castiel and Dean both lay deadly quiet on the hood, none of them moving. He rushed to his brothers side, checking his pulse. Steady as a beating drum.
He didn't touch the angel. He was a dickbag and Sam didn't need him. But he did need his brother.
"Dean. Hey, Dean!" he shook him and slapped his face, waking his brother up. When Dean finally woke up, his hands instantly flew to his eyes, as if shielding them. He groaned.
"Hey, you okay?" Sam insisted, giving him a once over. He wasn't bleading or anything so, he probably was. A few seconds later, Dean still lay with his eyes covered up. Sam got tirred of waiting, and tapped his forehead."Hey dude, you okay? What happened?" suddently the hands flew from his eyes and Dean looked up in the starcoverred sky.
"Cas!" he sat up, feeling the hand now in his lap. He looked down and followed it to the unconcius angel by his side. "Shit, Cas! Hey Cas man, wake up!" Nothing.
Dean slipped from the hood and hurried to the angels side. "Hey Sam, help me get him inside, will ya?"
Sam straightned up."Why?"
Dean stared at his brother, cursing the soulless body that only looked like his caring brother, but really weren't.
"Remember, me compass? Just do as I say!" Sam sighed and eventhough he really couldn't see what good an unconsius angel could do them now, he did as he was told. Castiel was heavier then he looked, in that scrawney little vessel of his. Sam quickly carried the angel in a fireman grip, into the hotel and placed him on the bed. Dean was at his side in a flash with a wet cloth.
"Dean, what the hell happened?" he demanded to know. Dean finally looked up from his nurse Nightengale position on the edge of the bed.
"I'm not sure. Raphael, I think." Sams eyes buldged. They sooo didn't need an angry archangel on their heels right now.
"The Archangel, Raphael?!" he couldn't belive this, they were so close to finding his soul and making Dean happy again, and then this freakkin' angel comes waltzing by, with his pissed off brother right behind him.
"No the ninja turtle, of cause it was the angel!" Sam was speachless for a second, boiling with anger.
"We do not need this right now, Dean!" he finally exploded as his brother keept weating the angels brow. "We need to get away right now, dumbing our gps signal here!" That got Deans full attention."You talking about bailing on Cas now? Your kidding right?" Sam started to pull their crap together and stuff it into a sportsbag.
"Hey Sam you look at me when I'm talking to you!" Deans voice flared across the room to Sams bag. Sam spun around, not beliving his brother.
"You want to know if I'M kidding? Your are the one who brought the bait right to our doorsteps and the hounddogs are howling right outside our door! What the hell is the matter with you?!"
Sam had seen his brother move before, quick and fluid in a fight, on a hunt, hell even around the dinnertable, but this charging against him like a bull on steorids, that was a new move. Sam didn't move a muscle though.
"We are NOT leaving him behind, you hear me?" Dean sneered up in his face. Sam didn't answer, he didn't agree. "I SAID, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" he yelled, reminding Sam way to much of their father then he enjoyed. He was worked up and his nose was flaring, but eventually he accepted. Castiel was apparently a part of the family, though he was not blood. Sam didn't understand, it was not logical and his brain couldn't comprehend why his brother was so persistent.
He didn't answer, just turned around, leaving the bag and his brother alone with the angel. He needed to get out of there, before he did something stupid, like strangeling Dean. Or the Angel.
Right now, eighter would be stupid, and still leave him soulless. A monster. A monster who felt good about him self, who didn't care. The perfect hunter. The only thing that keept him going in his hunt for his soul, was Dean. He had proved helpfull and insisted he would help Sam become a better human being.
Right now though, Dean could go to hell for all Sam cared. He went to a local bar, drinking and hooking up with the redhead whom served him cold beer.
Castiel:
He still couldn't move his vessel, it was too damaged, but he could leave it. He could move around the room, out of reach to Dean or any humanbeing. He had witnessed the exchange between the brothers and he had felt the rage comming from Dean as he had confronted his brother. Castiel didn't know how to react to that, so he had turned his attention to his vessel. Jimmy was badly hurt, what was left of him. Jimmy still hadn't asked Castiel to let him go, but if he ever did, the angel wouldn't hesitate for a second. He knew how he was suffering, but Jimmy Novak was, beside his daughter, the last Living person with the bloodline that matched Castiels being. He was to important to let go. That was why Castiel keept comming back in the same vessel. It suited him, it was compfterbal. It was a match made in Heaven, so to speak. And now, it was suffering from the attack. Castiel inspected the body. Something wasn't right. This was not the wounds made by another angel, nor any deamons Castiel had ever seen. This was something...new. He wasn't sure how to fix this. He tried to heal the body, but got a whole bunch of mixed signals he couldn't comprehend. He knew who he had to talk to, whom might have answers, but he couldn't leave his vessel. It was voulnerable to attack from other deamons and angels alike. He turned to Dean who still stood with his back to the bed, trying to calm down after Sam had left. Castiel went to him, standing behind him close enough to interfere with his mind. "Dean. Can you hear me?" he asked the human, hoping for a connection. And boy did he get one.
Dean:
As soon as Sam had left, Dean could feel a shift in the room and a calm presence took over. Dean could feel his heartbeat slow down and his anger subside. Suddently, he could hear it, as clear as a bell inside his head. "Dean. Can you hear me?" Dean spun around but saw nothing but the unconsius form of the angel on the bed. "Cas?" he asked, with more then a little worry in his voice. Worry for the angel or him self, Dean wasn't sure, but something was wrong.
"Dean, listen to me. My vessel is damaged beyond my powers. I need your help." Dean had no trouble in reconising the voice of the angel but where was he? He spun around again, searching the room."Cas, where the hell are you?!" he asked irritated.
There was no sign of the angel. Finally he found the EMF and turned it on. It went nuts, beeping like crazy the closer he had it to his own body.
"Oh no you didn't!" he shuddered. Was Cas already roaming around inside of him? Again, the voice, as clear as day:
"Dean, I am not inside of you. I am communicating with you via telepathy." Dean started to sweat:
"You telling me you are inside my brain?!" he could almost feel the angel roll its eyes at him.
" I can not read your mind if that's what you are thinking. I can't, unless you let me. You can hear me in your head but I can't hear you think. You have to talk to me to being abel to comunicate with me in any way. Jimmys body is damaged, and I can't get it to coorporate."
Dean thought that over for a second."So I got you yapping around my brain all the time, but I can't bug you? That's not fair!" again, the eyerolling. "And stop rolling your eyes at me! I thought you couldn't do the out-of-body-talking with me without my head exploded?" he looked at the unmoving body, poking it a bit, making sure Cas wasn't pulling his leg.
'Cause Castiel usually did such things, an eternal bucket of fun, he was. "I can't talk to you directly, in my true form, your right, your head would probably explode. But this, this seem to work." Dean had expected more, but the Angel was silent. Huh. "Okay." He said after a few seconds."so, uhh what's going on?"
Castiel:
What's going on? Castiel wasn't sure how to answer that, he wasn't even sure he knew himself. He hesitated before answering:
"Im not sure." What else could he say? He knew Dean wanted more from him, but he couldn't give it to him. "We need to contact the prophet. He will probably know by now." Dean froze up. He didn't enjoy the company of the Prophet Chuck, whom had published his visions.
Castiel didn't see the problem, that was how the prophets worked, spread the word of the Lord. "Chuck?!"
Castiel cringed at the raised voice. "He will know what attack us and what protected us from it."
Deans eyes bulged out at that. "Protected us? I got knocked out and you got fried, extra crispy! How the the hell is that protecting us?!" that was as clear as day for the Soldier, but not for the hunter, apparently.
"We are still alive."
"ish" Dean added and Castiel concured. There was something wrong. He only hoped that, once he got Dean talked into contacting the Prophet, that the telephathy line would stay intact. Deans sigh told Castiel that he had won the human over."Okay fine. We'll call Chuck."
Chuck:
The blinding pain had subsided and Chuck had crawled over to his computer, typing away. He was shaking after what he had seen, after what had happened to the Angel and to Dean Winchester. This was not something the writer had seen coming, and apparently, neigther had anybody else. There was a first time for everything, he guesed. Including, being told from above, to censur his visions. Or rather, to get his visions censured. He had felt something more was going on then what he had been showned, but he didn't get the usual glance behing the curtain. Somebody was witholding informations from him. It was very weird and the nervous writer, not for the first time, wished he hadn't been chosen for thos burden as a Profet. As he wrote down the last line ~"okay, fine. We'll call Chuck."Dean said in a gravelly voice,~ his cellphone rang. He shouldn't had been caught by surprice, but he did. He jumped in his seat, knocking the cup of old orange juice over, hitting his keyboard. He cursed, tipping the keyboard so the juice could drain from it, while looking for his cell. Spotting it on the kitchen table, he streached for it, still holding the keyboard, and with a last effort, he caught it and switched it open.
"Dean?" he asked, knowing who and why he called. Before the hunter got a chance to answer, he proceeded "You okay? Is Castiel okay?!" he went back to his computer, hitting Safe and making a online backup, as he always did.
"Chuck! so you know?!" the nervous writer dapped his keyboard with his old robe and cringed at the angry voice on the other end of the line.
"Yeah. I mean, I know what happened, but I don't know what happened."
Dean:
Dean rubbed his forhead. An angel was litterally perching on his shoulder, a prophet was babbling along in his ear and his soulless brother was sulking somewhere god only knew. A headache was forming somewhere behind his eyes.
"Listen to me, Chuck!" he cut through the rambling man at the end of the line. It went quiet."Do you know what attacked us, or don't you?!" Castiel started yabbing again, he knew who had attacked them, they needed to know who had saved them. Yeah, stuff it, wingman, Dean thought as Chuck on the other end of the line nervously cleared his throath.
"Yeah, eh that,that, was, eh one of the angels. Raphael, I think." Cas was getting impatient.
"Ask him what saved us Dean, we know who attacked us!"
Dean snapped. "Will you shut up for one second?!" Everybody got quiet for a second, although, knowing the angel as Dean did, he was sure he would pay for that later.
Even Chuck had stopped his nervous yabbing. "Im sorry."he whispered through the line.
" Not you Chuck! God!"
Dean was really starting to get frustrated and took a deep breath again, turning to the unconsius form of the angel.
"Cas, will you please stop talking when I'm on the phone? It's confusing enough as it is, not having you running at 1000 miles in my head." silence, then:
"Of cause." Though he didn't sound like he ment it, he did give Dean a few moments of silence.
Dean sighed." Chuck," he said, turning his attention to the man on the phone "do you know what kept a hand over us, durring the angel attack?" he could hear the writer shuffel around on the other line, then a few clicking on what sounded like a keyboard.
"No, sorry Dean. I was cut of from that tidbit." Dean straightend at that. "They can do that?" again he looked at the unmoving body on the bed. Son of a bitch." Apparently. I've never tried that before, though..." the prophet sounded defeted. "I'm sorry I wasn't to more help, Dean." Dean nodded and turned his attention towards the doore when he heard something outside of it.
"Yeah, that's fine Chuck. I'll call you back." he snapped his phone shut and grabbed his gun from the small of his back and tip toed to the door. God, he hoped it was Sam.
Castiel:
Something was wrong. Castiel could feel it, a calming precense took over despite Deans reaction.
What ever was outside the door, it wasn't...bad.
He was still hurt over Dean snapping at him, but this was important.
"Dean, be carefull. Somethings wrong here." Dean looked one last time over towards the bed where the vessel lay.
"No shit Sherlock." In a fluid motion, he threw open the door and pointed his weapon straight at...a woman, who stood smiling on the doorstep. She didn't say anything, she just smiled and with crossed eyes, she looked at the weapon that was inches from her face. Then she looked at Dean and then, straight at Castiel, whom was standing at Deans left side. Castiel swallowed a lump suddently forming in his throath.
Realization hit him like a freight train, and he fell to his knees, bowing in front of the being on the doorstep.
Dean:
Suddently, Castiel gasped and went quiet. Dean didn't dare to turn around, but keept his weapon still, pointing at the woman standing in front of him, wearing a goofy smile. She was tall, and had pitch black hair with a wift of blue in it. The big brown eyes were kind and marked with a thick black line in the sides. She was wearing blue jeans and a orange tank top, with a big scarf around her neck. She looked like an emo or something, Dean wasn't sure, but something wasn't right.
"Who the hell are you?!" Dean demanded, not lowering the gun. The woman didn't say anything, just smiled and shrugged, then skiped past Dean, into the room. Dean would normally had put a bullit in anybody who would just barge into his motelroom like that, but there was something about the woman. She went in a beeline over to the bed which held Cas' body, and stod at the end, looking down at the vessel. She sighed sadly and then looked at Dean and smiled a little smile. Then she looked beside him. Dean wondered for a second if she could see Cas. She probably could. Something made him lower his weapon to his leg, not letting it go, still weary about her every move. She tilted her head in a familiar manner, and a consentrated look fell over her face.
Then she smiled and looked back at Dean again. She waved him over to the bed, smiling, and Dean who at first hesitated, went to her side. She was easilly as tall as him, and when she smiled and looked at him, a warm calm crached over him and he felt almost sleepy. She then went to the side of the bed, and for a short second, she looked at the body, then back to Dean's side.
"Can you fix him?" Dean asked the woman who smiled again and then touched the forhead of the body, just like Dean had seen Cas do pleanty of times, sometimes to heal, sometimes to transport and again, sometimes to smite. Dean gasped and his weapon flew up, his finger sqweesing the trigger. Just before he gave it that last pull, a gasp came from the bed and Cas sat straight up in bed. Dean was stunned into immobility. Was Cas back where he belonged? "Cas?"
Sam:
He'd soon realized that stomping away in anger, didn't help him. He'd give Dean 10 minutes to cool of, then go back, try and convince him to leave the broken angel behind and get their asses out of Dodge. If it didn't work, Sam was leaving alone, heading out by himself. As Sam turned the corner, he saw the door into their motel room close. Sam straightend up in an instant and grapped his weapon, creeping closer to the closed door. He tried to listen through the thin door, but the silence in there was only cut through by Deans low bas. There was no way Sam would be abel to hear what went on in there. Just as Sam put his hand on the doorknob, he heard a loude gasp from inside. Like somebody suddently breaking through wather after a too long a dive. Then Deans voice, a little higher this time. "Cas?" that's when Sam decided to open the door and step inside.
Castiel:
It had felt like lightning shooting through him. He had been told he had a choise and what the consequences of each choise had been. It hadn't been easy, suddently to have a choice. No matter what, there would still be love and hate, war and peace... He hadn't dared to refuse to make the decision, but he didn't know what She would prefere. In the end, he'd let his Grace guide him. That was when She had smiled and he had felt a tug in his being and suddently, everything had turned black. When he woke up again, his lungs were burning, his eyes hurt and his vessel ached in every joint, like it never had before under his care. He felt a moment of panick. Had he fallen? What had happened? He looked up at the sound of his name being whispered. Dean. Dean was there, only a few feet away, looking worried. She was there as well. He gasped afain, pulling him self up the wall, schocked and in awe. He scuttled out of bed, just as the door was opened. He knew it was Sam, but right now, he didn't care. He went down on one knee, bowing his head, showing his utmost respect and obedience, as he should. This was it.
Sam:
The sight that greeted him was not what he had imagined: Castiel was awake, bowing like some sort of knight on the floor infront of a blue haird woman who just smiled a goofy smile. Dean was standing with his side to Sam, looking utterly dumbfund and confused.
What the hell was going on?
"Dean?" he asked wearily, not getting a reaction from his brother. A few seconds later, Dean lifted his hand in a shusshing motion, almost in trance. Then waving him towards him, slowely, like approching a mad dog. Sudently the woman shrugged and looked from the bowing Castiel, to Sam.
Her brown eyes pirced straight in to his soulless being. Sam suddently felt an intense pain in his chest, back and head. He felt to his knees, only hearing Deans call as a faint whisper over the loude screaming noice that threthend to explode his head. Suddently everything went black and silent.
Sam felt to the floor.
Dean:
When Sam suddently felt to his knees, screaming in agony, Dean kinda snapped out of it. He rushed to his side, but just as soon as Sam had started screaming and clutching his head, the screaming stopped, and he went limp. Dean cheked his puls. It was racing like a bullit train, but it was there. Passed out, not dead. Dean looked up at the still bowing Cas and then at the woman who just stood there with a lifted eyebrow and small smile on her lips. What the hell was going on here?!
"You did this, didn't you?!" he demanded, clutching the bigger shape of his soulless brother. His responsebility, his fault... The same old mantra keept repeating it self over and over, again and again, in his head. Suddently, Cas stood up in a fluid motion and in a stone face and with eyes glittring like a mad mans, he went to Sams other side, lifting him up like he was a child.
Castiel:
The order was clear and precise and clear as a bell in his head, in his being:
"Help him, Castiel." The old familiar feeling of compleat obediance and love had sweept over him and he was feeling better then he had in hundred of years. He got up, and went to Sams side, picking him up and carring him to the bed. He was recharged, his battery full of Grace. There was nothing he couldn't do. He was following orders and it felt good, it felt right. He didn't think, just did. Carefully, he layed the human on the bed, stepping aside, standing at attention, starring straight out, waiting for his next order. He hardly heard Deans insisting voice, demanding an answer. Castiel keept quiet.
"Thank you, Castiel." She said and he felt another charge flew through him. He knew the humans would call it pride, but he was compleatly drained of any human emotions and knew he was incapable of feeling anything but obediance and divine love.
"Watch, Castiel." came the new order, and he did what he was told. She stepped over to Sam who was unconsius on the bed. As she laid her hand on his chest, Castiel felt, rather then saw, Dean flew at her. He knew Dean was trying to protect his brother aginst something he had no chance in understanding.
Before Dean even reached the bed, Castiel was smack infront of him, starring him straight in his eyes. Dean stopped his charge, mesmorized at Castiels starring eyes. Dean had seen this look in his eyes before, the first time they had meet. Then Castiel said, in a calm voice:
"Stand down, Dean. Have faith." Dean didn't move. Castiel turned around slowly, looking at the bed as he had been told. She had a consentrated look on Her face, but still she smiled. Castiel understood what She was doing and She was teaching him. This would help Sam.
Dean:
He didn't feel calm with having crazy emo lady putting her dirty paws on Sam, but Cas...Cas was different, calm, full of grace (and not in the purely elegant way) and apparently the crazies. Dean could see it in his eyes and it nailed Dean to the floor. Suddently, the woman straightned up and with a smile, turned to Dean.
"Sam is fine." Castiel said. "How are you?" he asked with no emotions in his monotone voice and suddently, Dean got the distinct impression that it wasn't Cas who was talking. He was just a meatpuppet, speaking for the woman.
"Why doesn't she speak for her self? Who the hell is she?!" he demanded to know which only resulted in being pinned to the wall, with a furrius Cas straight up in his face.
"Watch your mouth, human!"
Dean didn't know what took him more by surprice:the fact that again, Cas got one over him or his verbal reaction. This was so not the Castiel Dean had gotten to know and respect and, maybe, even admire. This was a bag of dick, just like the rest of the angels. Something broke inside of Dean at the insanity in Castiels eyes. He had gotten the wind knocked out of him and when he spoke, it was in a small, breathless voice.
"Who are you, man? What did she do to you?" Suddently, Castiel released him and stepped away. The woman lay her hand on his shoulder, calming him down. She stepped in front of Dean, obvius the only consius person in the room that respected Deans private space. She looked at him with kind eyes, then gently took his face in her hands. Then she bend in and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Dean felt an electrick jolt through his being and his body hummed in a calm he hadn't experienced before. This was deffiantly different. Suddently the world zoomed in on the woman and he felt like he knew her, he just couldn't put a finger on her idendity.
"Is that you, God?" he whispered, like a little child, not sure if it really was Santa who was climbing down the chimney or just grandpa, stumbling around in a drunken haze. She stepped back with an amuzed smile on her lips. Then she looked at Castiel, who stepped forward, to stand by her side. She looked back at Dean and shrugged and made a Smack! sound with her lips. Then, with a "Boop!" Like another clown, she touched Deans nose.
That was the last thing he remembered before everything turned black.
Castiel:
Castiel reached out and caught Dean Winchester and layed him down gingerly on the bed, as he had been told. He turned around and waited for Her next order. This, this felt right. This was right. The Angel had hope again: now things in Heaven would be sorted out, Sam could get his soul back and the two Winchester hunters would be abel to live a normal life, like they both wanted. And Castiel could return to Heaven.
"Castiel. My Angel. You, I will miss the most." Her divine voice boomed in his mind and he couldn't help his head in snapping around and look straight at Her. What did that mean? Usually, Her orders were clear and precise, not strange and...human, like this. But Castiel couldn't say anything, he wasn't worthy.
"Castiel, speak to me. You have always served me well, and will continue to do so. What do you wish for yourself?" suddently, Castiel was terrified. This was blasphemy, but when it was God her self who spoke the words...what could he answer? What did he want for him self? Nobody had ever asked him that before, not even Dean... As the thoughts flew through his brain, She smiled and nodded.
"You have always been very bright, Castiel. That is a good choice. It will be granted. Now, lay down on the bed."
For a second, he hesitated, not sure what She meant. It didn't matter what She ment, She had a plan and he would follow Her blindy. He did as he was told to, and lay down beside the unconsius hunter.
She bowed over him.
"Now relax. This wil not hurt one bit." and she stroked his hair and kissed his forhead. "This is right."
Then everything went black.