The City, 10:00 AM
It was a peaceful, normal, and boring day for The Tick, Arthur was out sick so the Tick was on patrol alone today. He hadn't had fun all week after his encounter with the Ultimate Teacher, though he did bust a couple loiterers today. Yes all was right in the name of American Justice, but then that peaceful atmosphere was shattered like a vase on a rickety table by the sound of gunfire in the distance.
"My goodness! Gunfire on a Saturday, how will the people relax in a city filled with justice if there's gunfire going on, I must stop this!" The Tick yelled heroically as he began running towards the warehouse district where he heard the gunfire, he leaped from building to building, crushing the hard stone walls that blocked his path. "I apologize to the hard work of construction workers everywhere, but I must serve out a helping of justice!"
Meanwhile at the warehouse district
Deadpool shot a couple more bullets into the air while he ate a fresh chimichanga from the local shop.
White Box: Are you sure this is a good idea? This Tick guy sounded pretty strong.
Yellow Box: Lighten up buddy; if bug boy does show up we always have our secret weapon!
"Yellow Box has it all figured out, why can't be more like him White? But there's no real if, a classic justice hero parody like him won't stand for a red clad maniac like me just shooting my gun into the air." Deadpool spoke to the voices in his head, whilst finishing off both the clip of his gun, and his chimichanga.
Yellow: Yeah! Think of the people relaxing today!
White: sigh
Just then the Tick crashed down in front of Deadpool getting stuck in the hard concrete, "OW! I hate it when this happens!" The Tick shouted in displeasure as he climbed out of the ground, Deadpool just watched chuckling to himself.
White: Maybe I'm overestimating this just a bit
"You think?" Deadpool said to himself as the Tick scratched his head confused.
"Eh, who are you talking to my red clad rambunctious foe? " The Tick said scratching his head; he then snapped his fingers thinking he had the answer, "It must be one of those cool earphones! Do you know where I could get one of them?" The Tick asked with a smile on his face.
Deadpool has a bit of a grin on his face, "Uh yeah, ear phone, I'll actually give you mine if you do me one teensy weensy, little favor." Deadpool said his voice gaining a slightly higher and more emphasized tone as he spoke, the Ticks antenna tilted a bit as he looked on in confusion, "Stay down when I shoot ya" Deadpool said as he shot The Tick right between the eyes.
"YEOWCH! THAT HURTS YOU KNOW" Tick held his forehead as the bullet merely fell off of his head.
White: Did you really think that would work?
"Hm, guess they weren't lying when they were talking about this guy's durability." Deadpool said to himself audibly as he tapped his chin with his gun.
Yellow: B-but their pants were on fire!
White: Yes because we lit their station on fire.
Yellow: Oh yeah, hahah! I hope that helped them with the broken microwave
"You'll pay for this evil doer! You now face The Tick!" The Tick said as he pointed accusatorily at Deadpool.
"Hey I've been the hero of a couple comics! Though there was that one where I killed the entire Marvel Universe" Deadpool said casually as he spun his pistol around.
White: You also almost killed a bus of children by pissing off the Hulk
Yellow: Hey they didn't die! They were just traumatized for life no big deal!
FIGHT!
Deadpool made the first move pulling out an SMG and unloading the clip on Tick, however like before this only made The City's number one hero yell in pain as the bullets bounced off his chest. New plan! Deadpool pulled out a shotgun and unloaded that onto the Tick, this time it knocked him back as well as making him yell. However once again the Tick was unscathed, and now he was angry.
"You cad! It's time I taught you a lesson!" The Tick yelled out as he went in for an attack, he swung to the right only for Deadpool to duck, he kicked like a soccer player and Deadpool back flipped out of range.
The Merc sprung back into the fight this time brandishing two katanas, he maneuvered around Ticks fists and struck his blades against the Blue Bug, unfortunately for Deadpool they didn't seem to be scratching him. Tick sent his fist flying forward, not only snapping one of the katanas but also launching Deadpool away and through a brick wall.
Deadpool groaned as his fractured bones fixed themselves up in seconds, "This is not a good start."
White: Any ideas or do we just keep Tony Starking this?
Yellow: What if we tried blowing him up!
White: That won't wo-
"Genius!" Deadpool said as he sprung up with a new sword and dashed forward, "C'mon writer in the sky fudge this a bit just for me!" Deadpool said to the confusion of The Tick.
The Tick made a continuous effort to attack Deadpool again and again, however each punch was shrugged off or dodged, Deadpools hits were making contact however they still weren't doing squat. Deadpool back flipped out of the way and grinned under his mask, the Tick looked at his chest to see some C4 planted to him, Deadpool flipped the switch on a remote control setting off a huge explosion. The Tick flew through the air yelling the whole way.
"Did I get him? Sounds like I got him!" Deadpool said to the voices in his head.
White: Have you heard the KO yet?
Yellow: Maybe it's just broken; I hear they get jammed in the summer heat!
Deadpool sighed as he teleported to the area where the Tick landed, the ground under him was cracked violently due to the impact. "Now where is that blue bugger . . . The lines they make me read" Deadpool said humiliated from saying that line as he threw away a script.
"First you disturb the peace and now you litter?! You truly are a monster!" The Tick said dramatically as he came out from under some rubble behind Deadpool and struck him down.
White: How did that rubble get there?
Yellow: Convenient writing magic!
Deadpool rolled away as his broken jaw snapped back into place, he teleported above The Tick and proceeded to shoot him from above with two pistols. The Tick yelped in pain as he tried to protect himself with his arms; however that didn't stop the agonizing pain. Deadpool then teleported in front of Tick and proceeded to perform the famous shuryuken launching his foe into the air.
Yellow: I love it when he does that
The Tick charged forward and proceeded to slam his fist into the Mercs face, caving it in. "AH, NOT MY FACE" Deadpool yelled as he was launched back into another wall. His face regenerated back into place as Deadpool had a new trick up his sleeve.
Deadpool then pulled a box out of seemingly nowhere and proceeded to dash towards the Tick, "Come at me you red rough houser!" The Tick yelled out.
White: I'm pretty sure he doesn't use this much alliteration
Yellow: Yeah! And we aren't rough! We're much more precise
White: That's a lie
Deadpool spun around and from the box termites were flung onto the Ticks face, more specifically the eyes. "MY EYES, THEY'RE BITING MY EYES" The Tick screamed out in pain as the termites did exactly that.
"HA, and they said it wouldn't work! Now let's see if you're durable enough for this!" Just then out of nowhere Deadpool swung out the Heavy's favorite minigun Sasha, "Thanks :icondimenson-dino:!" Deadpool spoke while he unleashed bullet after bullet upon The Tick, each bullet bouncing off of his abs, the Blue Bug continued screaming as the pain was unbearable.
The Tick shook off the termites and charged through the stream of bullets, grunting violently as they hit him continuously in the gut.
Yellow: Oh come on! How is this not working!
White: I'm more surprised you two thought this would work in the first place.
The Tick slammed his fist into the minigun breaking it past repair, Deadpool looked at the pile of wreckage as he reached into the text above and grabbed the Dimension Dino icon, "PROTECT ME DIMENSION DINO" Deadpool said as the Ticks fist smashed through the icon and grabbed his face, "Well someone's gonna need a new icon!" Deadpool said as he was tossed into the air.
Deadpool thought to himself as he flew through the air, it was then that he had a devilish idea, he reached past the boundaries of the white literature box and grabbed something from DA. Just as Deadpool was about to hit the ground he smacked Tick in the head, then he proceeded to break every bone upon impact with the concrete.
The Tick rubbed his forehead and felt something strange, a sticker of sorts, he then saw Deadpool standing perfectly fine in front of him, "HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY SUPPORTS THE CORE MEMBERSHIP!" The Merc with the Mouth said as loud as he possibly could, it was then that a mob of people latched onto the Tick and began beating him senselessly.
"No! Why are the citizens doing this to me?" The Tick yelled out as he thrashed around trying to get the people off of him.
White: Isn't this technically outside help?
"Nah it's just a distraction!" Deadpool said as he took a pizza from a delivery boy, he then walked up to The Tick who was dazed from the beatings of an angry mob, Deadpool put a domino's pizza in the Ticks hand and backed away.
Just then a zombified Noid with a giant hammer burst out of the ground and smashed the Tick with it, repeatedly. However the Domino's pizza still survived, the Tick on the other hand was in viciously beaten.
"Hello little rabbit man, is it Easter already?" The Tick said confused from the several blows to the cranium, the Tick stumbled around with a dazed smile on his face.
Deadpool shot the zombie Noid in the head and proceeded to take aim at the Tick, "Okay buddy I think it's about time I put you down!" Deadpool said as he shot the Tick right between the eyes and knocked him down.
White: I'm still not hearing a KO
"Okay so we can't just ware down his invulnerability," Deadpool said to himself while he paced around.
Yellow: We could light him on fire!
"No that won't work" Deadpool said to the voice in his head, he shot Tick again as he was trying to get back up.
White: Well we've already tried the usual stuff, maybe it's time to break out our secret weapon
Deadpool contemplated what the white box said, he scratched his chin and tapped his foot. "Nah it's too early to end the fight now." He said as the Tick regained his senses and got back into a fighting position. "Okay buddy let's see how you deal with some good old fashion carbonanium!" Deadpool said as he pulled from nowhere a blade that's been freshly sharpened.
"That blade will not cut me, for I am shielded by a shiny shield of might justice," The Tick said with confidence as he began to make a sprint for Deadpool.
Wade jumped into the air and started slashing wildly at the Ticks upper body, this did absolutely nothing but annoy the Tick, new plan, Deadpool spin kicked the Tick in the side of the head, still no real damage but it got Nick to grunt this time. The Tick grabbed Deadpool by the throat and slammed him into the ground. He proceeded to pick him up once more and throw him into a lamp post; Deadpool got up seconds later as his spine healed itself.
"You're pretty persistent" The Tick said as he kept his guard up.
"If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that, I'd go buy myself some lunch instead of fighting your sorry ass, but hey, Death Battle rules say I don't get a break," Deadpool said casually as he swung around his blade like a cane.
"Death Battle? My friend you're not really making sense," The Tick said confused, his guard started dropping.
White: We're not known for that
Yellow: Especially me!
Deadpool teleported in front of the Tick with a second katana in hand, he began spinning around and hitting his foe with a barrage of slashes, with no affect but boy did it look cool. "You got that right text!" Deadpool said to no one as he started shooting once again, this time it was back to the SMG's. "OH, I have a great idea!"
White: Hasn't using the text as a melee weapon been done already?
"Not that White, my idea includes a lot more collateral damage," said Deadpool as he threw a ball of C4 high into the air, so high in fact that it couldn't be seen, " Aaand . . . NOW!" Deadpool said as he flipped the switch for the bomb, an explosion was heard, however nothing was seen.
"What exactly was the point of that?" The Tick asked quizzically, his question was answered as the word OW fell on his head, it was small but that wasn't the whole thing.
Both the Tick and Deadpool looked up as entire broken up paragraphs fell from the sky, oh and they were on fire, can't forget that.
Yellow: Let's see the weather channel report this!
Deadpool teleported out of the way of several words as they crashed into the battle field, Tick on the other hand could barely dodge around the variously sized words destroying the terrain, he was also unable to avoid stepping on flames, The Tick cried out various words to express pain in comedic fashion. Then a giant letter A smashed over his head giving him a throbbing headache.
"Okay fine we'll grab the text and hit him with it, but only for the visual pun!" The Merc said as he grabbed the word headache and beat Nick over the head with it.
The Tick stumbled around the wreckage of the warehouse district, with Deadpool just watching casually. After he got bored of that he pulled out another shotgun and unleashed its fury upon the Tick. Like the last time it only knocked him back but didn't damage him.
"Okay fine let's just bring out the secret weapon" Deadpool said bored and annoyed, the fire had also stopped however there were still words embedded in the earth.
White: Oh so the writers finally run out of ideas?
Yellow: Aww, we didn't even get to use the electrically charged rubber chicken.
"There's always the next time someone uses us in a fight Yellow" Deadpool said as he reached into hammerspace and pulled out a small glowing purple gem.
The Tick had finally regained his senses and asked curiously, "What is that?" he pointed to the purple gem.
"The thing that's gonna win me this fight Mr. Invincible!" Deadpool said as cockily as possible.
White: And what's most likely going to ignite hell in the comments section.
Yellow: Oooh! I'll make popcorn
"This is my infinity stone, with one blast from this baby your powers are as good as gone, including your invulnerability!" Deadpool said with a smile under his mask, and at that moment a beam of energy shot from the stone, the Tick dodged it and weaved around the many giant words in order to avoid being hit.
"I won't allow you to take away my powers, I need them to fight crime!" The Tick said as he kicked a giant letter O making it roll towards Deadpool.
The Merc jumped on top of it and began using it to chase down Tick, continuously firing off blasts from the infinity stone. "Come on stop being a baby and let me blast you, I'll sign your chest!" Deadpool yelled to the still running Tick.
Yellow: Yeah! And totally not with a machete!
White: I don't think he wants an autograph
"Oh come on, EVERYONE wants an autograph from me! Hey where'd he go?" Deadpool said as he hopped off the giant O and looked around, then from behind the Tick grabbed Deadpool and snatched the Infinity Stone from his grip. "HEY THAT'S MINE!" Deadpool yelled angrily.
"Not anymore chum, now I'll use this to take away your powers so you can live a normal life!" The Tick said in a manner similar to that of the hero of an afterschool special.
Yellow: NO! I don't wanna stop kicking ass! If we do that all we'll ever be able to do is chew bubble gum!
White: Also we'll probably die of our cancer
Yellow: That too!
"Sorry buddy but there is no way I'm letting you do that!" Deadpool said as he pulled out his pistol and shot the stone out of the Blue Beacon of Justices' hand.
The Tick grunted from the pain and punched the stone away from Deadpool's grasp and into the distance. Wade's eyes widened as he began teleporting all around looking for the stone, then he saw it the stone was at the top of a tall light house, he teleported to the bottom of the building and shot out the lock.
Just then The Tick leaped in from the top of a warehouse and drop kicked the Merc, crushing his neck and shattering a bit of his spine. The Tick got in front of the entrance and waited for his foe to stand, and he did. Deadpool pulled out the carbonanium blade and began running for the Tick, then he teleported past the Tick and looked for the stairs.
"Oh no you don't!" The Tick said as he grabbed Deadpool by his teleportation belt and flung him out of the building.
White: Damn it! He broke the teleportation belt
Yellow: Wait, why didn't we just teleport to the top of the lighthouse?
White: Why are you the one asking the intelligent question here?
"Stop bickering we have to work together for this!" Deadpool said as he kicked the Tick in the face and started running up the stairs.
The Tick was in hot pursuit; he slammed Deadpool into the wall and went past him. Deadpool took out a chainsaw and cut the supports holding up the stairs, the stairs under the Tick and Deadpool collapsed with a loud echoing clang. The Tick held onto the rest of the stairs for dear life while the Merc merely ran on the walls and started scaling the building again. As soon as the Tick got back onto the stairs he ran as fast as he could, he got to the top just as Deadpool was reaching for the Infinity Stone.
Nick grabbed his foe by the leg and pulled him down; he proceeded to run over him and began making his own reach for the stone. Wade had other plans as he tossed a land mine in front of him, of course the Tick steps on it setting off a massive explosion, collapsing the lighthouse and sending The Tick, Deadpool, and the Infinity Stone flying in random directions.
Deadpool made impact with the concrete and skid across it for a couple seconds, when he stood up his skull was already in the process of regenerating. "Okay, now that I have some time away from that guy, where the hell is the stone?" Deadpool said to himself as he looked around.
White: It probably went far, it was launched by an explosion, that and it's about time the setting of the fight changed.
Yellow: Yeah we've been fighting in this warehouse district for a long ass time now.
"Good point Yellow! Now if I were a teenager writing a fight between me and a guy in a bug suit, where would I move the fight next?" Deadpool said as he scratched his chin, a dinging sound occurred as Deadpool figured it out, "I know where he sent the stone!"
White: The City?
Yellow: SPACE?!
"Good guess my yellow box friend, but nope, he sent it to that giant ass boat over there!" Deadpool said as he pointed to a giant ass ship, and wouldn't you know it, just barely in view was the glint of the Infinity Stone.
White: Better grab your swim trunks Deadpool
"Already on it!" Deadpool said as he was in a pair of swim trunks on, even an inflatable dolphin in his arm, he even had a matching snorkeling mask one.
Yellow: Woohoo! The babes are going to be all over us!
Just then the Tick tackled through a wall and made a quick stop in front of the Merc, "I'm sorry to say but an evil doer such as yourself won't be enjoying the pleasantries of the summer sun!" The Tick said winding his fist back.
Deadpool raised the inflatable dolphin in front of himself and braced for the fist about to hit him, "Protect me squeaky dolphin toy!" he said in fear of the fist targeting his face.
White: We already used that joke
Yellow: But that time it was a fourth wall joke!
The Ticks might fist stopped just barely in front of the toy dolphin, he grit his teeth and pulled back slowly, "Can't … Harm … Joyous icon of the ocean!" he said sweat dripping down his face, struggling with his own morals.
Deadpool saw this as a perfect opportunity to escape as he sneakily pulled out a pistol, and from behind the dolphin toy he pulled the trigger. Blasting the dolphin apart and hitting the Tick right between the eyes, knocking him down like a plank of wood.
"And now for my fantastic escape!" Deadpool then rode off on a motorcycle towards the ship with fantastical rock music playing loudly in the background.
The Tick got up in a daze as he saw Deadpool riding off towards the Infinity Stones location; he held what remained of the inflatable dolphin and cried out to the heavens. After about five minutes of that The Tick ran towards the ship as fast as he could.
Meanwhile Deadpool was waiting aggravatingly in a line of people to get onto the ship, when it was finally his turn the security guard held his hand out and spoke, "Ticket?"
Deadpool immediately pulled out a rocket launcher and put it right up to the guards face, "Here's my ticket jackass, now let me on!" Deadpool said with a grin under his mask
The guard stepped away with set dripping down his bald head, Deadpool walked forward and made his way onto the giant ass boat.
"Okay guys looks for anything shiny looking!" Deadpool said to the voices in his head as he started walking around the ship.
White: I think it was near the captain's quarters
Yellow: Oooh! An infinity stone, AND money
"TOO THE CAPTAINS QUARTERS!" Deadpool said loudly as he began running around the ship and up a couple stair cases, only stopping to try and get the phone numbers of a couple babes.
Little did Deadpool know the Tick was also on the ship and he was in hot pursuit, only stopping to get a glass of lemonade, it was hot out today after all. When the Tick got to the captains quarters Deadpool was sitting in the Captain's chair wearing the proper clothes, in his hands were a gun, and the infinity stone.
"Okay buddy it was fun but this is the end of the line!" Deadpool said cockily as he held out both the gun and Infinity Stone at the same time, firing both off at the same time directly at the Tick.
The Tick responded by flipping a nearby table in front of him, guarding him from the infinity blast, however the bullet went straight through the table and bounced off of the Ticks shoulder getting an audible yelp of pain.
Yellow: How the hell did the infinity beam not work!?
White: That table must be made of mahogany
The Tick charged forward and smashed Deadpool through the window using the table, he then leapt out the window himself and landed on Deadpool's gut, crushing it violently. Deadpool's grip on the stone broke as it flew out of his hand and into the ships pool, the Tick jumped into the pool leaving the Merc with a Mouth to regenerate his insides.
Deadpool then climbed the highest diving board he could find, and with grace he jumped off and in his descent into the water he performed several summersaults and spins, ending it in a picture perfect swan dive into the water, getting all tens from the judges. However Wade was unfortunately planted head first into the bottom of the pool.
The Tick swam around under the pool looking for the stone, and just as he saw the shining glint of that all-powerful rock, Deadpool swam up and punched Tick in the gut. The Tick grabbed his stomach in pain as it was starting to cramp painfully, Deadpool took this opportunity and performed an underwater roundhouse kick to The Ticks gut sending him flying out of the pool.
Deadpool climbed out of the pool with the Infinity Stone in hand, he held it in front of him and aimed for the still cramping Tick. But then, as if by some kind of miracle a rolled up piece of paper smacked Deadpool in the side of the head.
"OW! What the hell?!" Deadpool said as he picked up the rolled up paper, it was the script of the fight.
Yellow: Oh no! Not the script!
White: Must be something important if he's important if he's interrupting the fight for this
"Okay let's see" Deadpool said as he flipped open the script and skimmed along the pages, he looked in horror at what he saw, "We have to go there!? But that'll take hours!"
White: At this rate the fights going to be 7 parts!
Yellow: I don't wanna fight this guy anymore!
"Wait shutup . . ." Deadpool said as he looked at the infinity stone, and then a lightbulb dinged above his head. "I GOT IT, Okay Infinity Stone, WORK YOUR MAGIC!" Deadpool shouted as the stone flashed brightly, completely obscuring the surroundings in a bright light.
Hours Later, Stark Towers 2:50 PM
Tony Stark and Hank Pym were just having a pleasant conversation at the top of the tower.
"So did you ever pick up anything left of that Lex guy's suit?" Hank casually asked Tony while he sipped his drink.
"Of course, what else would I do when some chrome dome tries to kill me in a fancy alien mechsuit? Been working on recreating its material, I bet when I'm done with it I could one shot Superman!" Tony said confidently as he got up to go refill his drink.
"Don't act so cocky, remember what that guy did to Thor? And Hulk? And that one guy in the orange parachute pants?" Hank said about to take another sip, however before Tony could reply Deadpool and The Tick burst into the room in dresses with fruit hats on their heads.
"MR. PYM YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HE-," The Ticks worried yells were cut off as Victor Von Doom smashed in through the window and proceeded to unleash a flurry of beam attacks in the room. Tony couldn't react in time as a blast smashed him into a wall with a massive burn on his chest, Pym was unfortunate to take a shot directly to the head killing him instantly.
"NOOOOO!" The Tick screamed, he grit his teeth and tackled Doom through the window and tanking all the down into the streets.
Deadpool walked over to Pym's corpse as he searched around for a bit, and he was happy to find Pym's shrinking helmet, with a grin he put it in his hammerspace pockets. "I'm sure he won't mind if I take this!"
White: Hurry Deadpool, we need to stop Dooms plans to take over the multiverse!
Yellow: If he does that people won't be able to use us in kickass fights anymore!
"You're right, I need to help the Tick!" Deadpool said as he jumped from the window and dived, preparing to make a hard impact into the concrete.
The Tick was being repeatedly blasted by , and boy did it sting! Just then something smashed into the pavement getting the attention of Victor, and who else could it be but Deadpool himself.
The Merc Stood up as he healed up his broken bones, and from his hammer space he pulled out the BFG 9000, "Thanks :iconcyberagent369: for your contribution to the Deadpool Kicks Ass Association!" he said to the confusion of both the Tick and Doom.
Deadpool proceeded to pull the trigger and blast Dr. Doom through a building, Deadpool made chase as he prepared to shoot another massive green bolt of destruction. However Doom had other plans, he first destroyed the BFG 9000 with little effort, he then proceeded to charge his energy and prepared on massive blast to annihilate Deadpool once and for all.
Deadpool smirked and grabbed Cyberagent's icon and held it out in front of him.
White: Are we really using this joke again, it didn't even work last time!
"That's because I wasn't using it the right way last time!" Deadpool said smiling as he tapped the center of the icon, it began to glow as rubble and dust began flying into it, it was becoming a massive vacuum portal! "You're gonna need some serious virus software for this guy!" Deadpool shouted as Dr. Doom was resisting the pull of the icon, pieces of his armor tearing off and entering the portal. Soon Dr. Doom could no longer fight back as he was pulled into the portal, Deadpool smiled as he snapped the icon on his knee and broke it in half, stopping the portal from sucking up the world any further.
White: Well that's one way to solve a problem
Yellow: Poor guy, well Dooms his problem now, HAHA!
"Okay now that we're out of that situation, back to the task at hand!" Deadpool said as he turned around to see the Tick standing several feet across from him.
Back in their usual outfits rather than dresses and fruit hats, they glared at each other, a western movie vibe spread across the area. Deadpool was the first to attack as he pulled out an old style revolver, unloading every bullet from it in only a few seconds.
The Tick ran through the bullets grunting in pain, he pulled his fist back and made a hard swing for Wade, however it missed flying right over the Merc giving him the perfect to knock Nick off balance with a swift leg sweep. The Tick, although tripped up and about to fall to the ground, grabbed Deadpool by the head and smashed it into the ground with him.
White: What's the count for face shots in this fight right now?
Yellow: Counting the off screen adventure earlier? 62!
White: Ah! I don't even think our healing factors gonna heal that up
"Thanks for the support guys!" Deadpool said aggravated as he proceeded to roll away from the now standing Tick.
Deadpool pulled out an SMG and began holding back the Tick with a powerful stream of tiny led filled death; he used his free hand to rummage around his hammer space pockets. The Tick struggled past the bullets bouncing off his body, and proceeded to grab Deadpool by the collar of his shirt and held him up. From his hammerspace pocket Deadpool pulled out Ant-Mans very own helmet.
"Hope you packed your bags because it's time for a trip to the microverse!" Deadpool said as he activated the helmet shrinking down both Wade and Nick to such a point that they could see the atoms making up the surrounding area.
White: Can Ant-Mans helmet even canonically do this?
Yellow: Screw the canon this is gonna be awesome!
Deadpool and the Tick stood across from each other atop atoms floating among the void of the micro verse. Deadpool narrowed his eyes as black bars closed around him; the same happens for Tick, except it compacts The Tick and crushes him. As it turns out Deadpool was using giant black bars to try and squish the Tick. However Nick won't go down like that as he pushes against the crushing force of the weaponized cinematic effect, he breaks them in to pieces and glares at Deadpool.
"You're really starting to get on my nerves!" The Tick said as he got into a fighting position, ready to go into another grapple with the Merc.
"Hey just feel lucky I'm not the Disney Deadpool from Amazing Spiderman! Then I'd literally be on your nerves!" Deadpool said hopping in place in order to hype himself up for the fight about to take place, he pulled out a pair of daggers to mix things up for once.
The Tick made a dash as he flew through the void and into Deadpool, the Merc hopped off of his atom and proceeded to throw his daggers at the Tick. However they did little to even annoy the Tick, who at the time used his momentum to launch himself off of another atom and towards Wade. Deadpool pulled out Deathstroke's very own broad sword and used it to block The Ticks oncoming fist of justice.
The Block was successful, however Deadpool was launched into an atom, the atom proceeded to fly into the distance of the vast void of the microverse. The Tick was still coming towards Deadpool, his fists swinging and keeping his body in constant motion. Deadpool used his blade to counter the attacks; along with this he also made several attempts to throw the Tick off course in order to make him vulnerable.
The Tick grabbed the sword and pulled Deadpool in for an attack; the Merc prepared himself and kicked the Tick in the gut. The Ticks fist just barely flew past the Mercs face, however he used this miss to his advantage and wrapped his arm around Deadpool's neck and got him in a tight headlock. As Deadpool struggled and choked his sword floated away from his reach, The Tick tightened his grip on Deadpool's throat.
The Merc with a Mouth flung his leg up and smashed it into the Ticks face, releasing Wade from the headlock. Deadpool kicked off of the Tick and grabbed his blade; he spun around and kicked off of an atom sending him flying back towards the Tick. Nick caught the blade once again and use the momentum to toss Deadpool over him and into another atom.
The Tick held the blade in his hand and proceeded to toss the blade at Wade, unfortunately it missed and stabbed into the atom.
Yellow: Oooh! It's gonna be like that one nickelodeon cartoon!
White: This is going to hurt . . . a lot
Just as he said that the atom exploded, causing a chain reaction and wiping out the city, Deadpool and the Tick launched miles into the air, and were conveniently back to their regular sizes. Both of them were screaming on fire, Deadpool especially.
"HEY!" Deadpool yelled at the writer, even though it's true, he's totally screaming like a bitch "BULLSHIT I AM!" Deadpool shouted once more.
"Who are you talking to? How strong is that communicator!?" The Tick asked with extreme curiosity.
Deadpool only facepalmed, he would make a move to attack but unfortunately they were falling in the air and were very incapable of combat.
"WAIT, I have an idea!" Deadpool said as he pulled a grenade out of his pocket, he pulled the pin and let it fly into the air and leaving their view.
A loud explosion was heard and within seconds giant letters and words fell past them, the Tick gained his footing on a giant letter B, while Deadpool kept his movement going as he continuously jumped from letter to letter, occasionally landing on a word that wasn't destroyed by the explosion.
The Tick kept his guard up, trying to keep his eyes on Deadpool's whereabouts; it became increasingly more difficult as falling letter either gave Deadpool a new path to follow, or obscured the Ticks vision. Finally after Deadpool was at a vantage point he came down upon the Tick and drop kicked him, the Tick grunted at stumbled back, Deadpool charged forward and kicked his foe in the gut. The Tick once again stumbled back and was nearing the edge of the large letter, before Deadpool could take another shot the Tick grabbed his leg and threw him off of the letter and back into the air.
Deadpool grabbed onto the nearest thing to him, luckily enough he grabbed the letter O, he swung himself on top of it and started moving it forward through the air.
White: I'm fairly certain this is impossible
"And I'm fairly certain that the writer stopped giving a shit about logic in the second paragraph of part one!" Deadpool said as he rolled the O off of a letter Z and into the Ticks direction.
The Tick jumped off of his current position and latched onto a letter T, just as Deadpool was about to squish the Tick the letter flipped over due to a new imbalance in weight. The long end of the letter slammed into the O launching downwards, Deadpool barely grabbed the end of the letter as it continued spinning. The Tick held tight until he could regain some kind of footing, then just as balance was restoring Deadpool flew up into the air from the other end of the T, his blades swung out and aiming at the blue beacon of justice.
However just as Deadpool was almost at his target the weight of the T was shifting again, Deadpool flew past the Tick and faceplanted into his own name. The Tick, sensing the danger of his current position, jumped and kicked Deadpool THROUGH his own name, subsequentially splitting Deadpool's spine in half.
They both impacted onto a letter E, Deadpool rolled away to the edge as his body was regenerating at a quick rate. The Tick groaned and popped his shoulder.
"This fight certainly escalated quickly" The Tick said stretching his back.
"Yep," Deadpool said slowly standing up and cracking his knuckles, "I think we're both a little sick of this fight so why don't you just let me blast you so I can cut your head off!" Deadpool said as he pulled out the stone from his hammer space pockets.
"No can do chum! I am the Tick, a beacon of justice, and you're going to pay for your crimes!" The Tick said in a booming voice as he readied himself to continue the fight.
"Suit yourself then" Deadpool said as he shot a blast of energy from the stone, it missed as The Tick backed off of the letter and caught himself on a letter G.
The Tick jumped off the side of the G and caught himself on the hook of a J, using that to swing himself to the top of a letter F.
White: With the amount of letters in this fight you'd think it was a very special episode of Sesame Street
Yellow: Minus all of the cutesy shit!
"Dammit now I have the theme song stuck in my head" Deadpool said sighing as he began humming the song to himself. He pulled out a rocket launcher and started taking shots at the Tick, every now and then he had to reload his weapon.
The Tick dodged around and under the incoming projectiles, jumping around the surrounding vocabulary as explosions littered the air. Just as Deadpool saw the perfect opportunity to shoot the infinity stone the storm of letters and words began impacting on the wasteland, knocking both the Tick and Deadpool lose balance and fall to the ground. As for the infinity stone, well due to the sudden stop in movement the stone was launched out of the Merc's grip and was lost amongst the battlefield.
"Oh just great, do you know how long it's going to take me to find that damn thing?!" Deadpool said angrily as he got up and dusted himself off.
White: As long as the writer wants to keep dragging this fight out?
"EXACTLY!" Deadpool shouted, not noticing the Tick charging at him.
"SPOOOOOOOOON!" The Tick shouted getting the attention of Deadpool
White: I was wondering when he would say that
Yellow: WE GOT A BATTER BATTLECRY
"CHIMICHANGAAAAAA" Deadpool shouted as he charged forward wielding a flamethrower.
White: When has that ever been our battlecry?!
Yellow: When the writer thought it would be funny!
Deadpool flailed the flamethrower around attempting to both force The Tick away, AND still attempting to set him ablaze. However the Tick fears no form of fire, so he charged forward and punched the weapon out of Wade's hand, he then proceeded to shoulder tackle Deadpool into a letter R. Nick backed way and prepared to make another charge; however Deadpool had other plans as he pulled out a pair of hatchets.
Deadpool spun them around in his hands as he lunged at the Tick swinging the hatchets making an attempt to daze his blue clad foe. However the Tick only grit his teeth and punched Wade away with one might swing. The Merc was quick to get up, trading his hatches for a battle axe, he charged forward ready to slam the axes edge into the Tick's head, until suddenly a letter T falls in between the two. The axe breaks on contact and Deadpool growls.
"I hate you letter T" Deadpool said leering at the giant member of the alphabet, he then yelped as The Ticks fist smashed through the letter T, grabbed Wade's head, and yanked him through it.
The Tick then gave a powerful uppercut to Deadpool and launched him into the top of the T, he backed away as Deadpool hit the ground. The now structurally unstable T then fell on top of Deadpool which crushed his spine. Deadpool was able to climb out from under the destroyed letter, and just as he regenerated The Tick grabbed him by the head and tossed him across the battlefield.
Deadpool regained his senses as he flew through the air like a bullet, and just as he did Wade's eyes widened as he saw the letter O from before still spinning intensely and about to make contact with his face.
"LETTER O WHY DO YOU BETRAY ME!? AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH!" Deadpool said dramatically as he flashbacked to every memory he had of the letter O.
Just as the montage ended the letter O smashed Deadpool into the ground, shattering and grinding his entire upper torso into a bloody stain on the ground.
White: What did we do to the writer to deserve this?
Yellow: Well there was that one time back in 86'
White: The writer wasn't even born back then!
Deadpool groaned and tried to ignore the arguing voices as his body slowly regenerated, unfortunately the Tick was far from tired as he picked up a letter S and flung it at the Merc like a Frisbee. Deadpool rolled out of the way and got up only for the Tick to clothesline Wade back to the ground. The Tick got on top of Deadpool and held him down like an officer of the law.
"Mister Deadpool I put you under arrest for destruction of property, public disturbance, mass murder, resisting arrest, and stealing croutons from a salad bar back in Hawaii!" The Tick said with authority in his voice.
"Oh come on this is how he ends the fight?! Me getting arrested? No explosions or anything?!" Deadpool shouted as he struggled against the Ticks strength.
"Oh and don't worry about your stone, I already found it" The Tick said as he pulled out the stone from somewhere on his suit.
White: Oh I see where this is going
Deadpool smirked as he used all of his strength to slam the back of his head into the Ticks mouth, the Blue Beacon of Justice dropped the stone for Deadpool to grab and let out a huge blast of its energy, separating the two.
"GAH, what did … you do?" The Tick said as he stood up and dusted off his suit.
"Well I had to take drastic measures in this situation, so I had to remove BOTH our powers, or else this might have just kept going and going." Deadpool said panting as he pulled out a pair of katana's and stared down the Tick.
"So you've taken away my mightiness huh? Well no matter, the power of justice will give me strength in this battle!" The Tick began making a charge for the Merc with a Mouth "SPOOOOOOOOOON!"
White: This is gonna hurt a lot
Yellow: Oh come on, we were atomized by the Hulk this'll be nothing!
Deadpool spun his swords around as he dashed forward ready to slice up the Tick, they both clashed. The Tick caught one of the blades however it cut into his skin slightly drawing blood. Deadpool braced himself as he couldn't block a hard fist to his ribs, he could feel a few breaking out of place. The Merc kicked the Tick in the head putting him off balance, it was the perfect opportunity, he swung his blades down to make an attempt for cutting off Nicks head.
The Tick used the momentum of his imbalance and punched the blades off path and even knocked one of them out of Deadpools grip. Nick punched Deadpool directly in the head causing blood to seep through the mask.
White: Wait how do we still have out outfit, I'm certain it should be destroyed at this point
Yellow: Details details!
Deadpool slashed one of The Ticks legs deep and attempted to stab the Tick who was writhing in agony. The Tick backed away to keep the blade from going through him, however he had trouble keeping balance due to the extreme pain in his leg. Deadpool slashed his blade again, once again it was dodged, Deadpool lunged forward about to swing. The Tick grit his teeth as he caught the blade in his hand again, letting it cut into his skin and snapped the blade in half.
Wade's eyes widened as the Tick threw his fist forward, collapsing several organs inside Deadpool, launching him several feet away from the Tick. The Merc pulled off his mask and coughed blood out violently from his mouth.
The Tick walked forward and stood only a few feet away from Deadpool.
"I'm sorry about this, maybe in a world where you didn't turn to crime we could have been great partners in justice." The Tick said, seeming a bit less bombastic then he usually is.
"If it compensates there's probably some gay slash fic about us online" Deadpool said chuckling.
"Your banter will never cease to confuse me chum." The Tick said as he slung Deadpool over his shoulder.
"Wait what are you doing?" Deadpool asked
"I'm taking you to a hospital! Then you'll be going to The City jail!" The Tick said with a wide smile.
"OH COME ON, WE REALLY ARE ENDING IT WITH AN ARREST?!" Deadpool shouted angrily as he struggled against the Ticks grip.
The Tick then ran into the distance towards the nearest hospital, where the best doctors and scientists would treat Deadpool.
K.O.
"BULLSHIT" Deadpool said to both the writer and the audience.