Akatsuki summer holiday!
The Akatsuki base echoed with the daily clatter of everyday noise; kitchen utensils banging together, kettles boiling, and Deidara screaming: "I AM A MAN!!!" Pein marched through the corridors in his pink, 'Hello Kitty' dressing gown, questing for a cup of coffee. Finally he managed to find his way into the kitchen, where he proceeded to pour himself a cup of (black) coffee. He put a slice of bread into the toaster. He waited for the toast to burn to a crisp. A dinging sound rang out as the toast catapulted from the toaster. Suddenly there was a huge crash as the wall next to the toaster exploded outwards. Through the hole burst Hidan and Deidara, locked together in mortal combat. Time seemed to slow as the pair looked up at Pein, standing directly in their flight path. Pein's eyes widened as Hidan's screaming face struck the burnt toast in mid air, searing hot bread melting the skin and burning through to the bone. With a sickening crunch, the three Akatsuki collided, ending up sprawled on the kitchen tiles. Pein sat up with a groan before his eyes suddenly snapped open as he realised what had happened.
"Oh my God!" He cried, "Are you OK?"
"Actually, I think my spine is broken…" moaned Deidara.
Pein glared at him. "Not you!" He shouted, "my toast!"
He peeled the blackened bread off Hidan's smouldering face. "My baby…" he whined, caressing the toast. "It's alright, I'm here now."
Without warning, Pein took a huge bite and tore the toast in half, gulping it down hungrily like a starving lion. The others looked on in disgust. When Pein had devoured the last of the toast, he licked his lips and grinned maliciously at a loaf of bread on the counter.
"You're next!" He hissed, pointing at the bread.
Hidan and Deidara shared a look. Hidan glanced down at Pein's bunny slippers, partially hidden under the girly dressing gown.
Morning's don't treat Pein well… he thought.
Pein turned his attention to Hidan and Deidara.
"I'm sorry you had to see that." He said. "Now what were you fighting about this time?"
They looked at each other. Deidara coughed, embarrassed.
"Whether a kangaroo would beat a panda in a knife fight or not…" he mumbled.
Pein blinked at them and rubbed his temples.
"I need a holiday…" he said under his breath.
It was a miniscule sound, but somebody heard it from the other side of the base. All through the building, members of the Akatsuki were puzzled by a rapid scuttling sound moving incredibly fast all the way through the base. Pein heard it and immediately realised what it meant.
"Oh no…" he gasped. He waved frantically at Hidan and Deidara. "Quick! Bar the door!"
They slammed it shut, moving a shelf in front of it so it couldn't be opened. Unfortunately, they forgot about the massive gaping hole they left in the wall. Before they could react, a blurred shape zoomed through it. Pein screamed as the shape clamped onto him, knocking the bunny slippers flying as he was flung across the kitchen.
"HOLIDAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!" shrieked Tobi, violently shaking Pein up and down.
The members of the Akatsuki sat together in the lounge, a pile of holiday brochures on the coffee table.
"OK…" sighed Konan. "We've narrowed it down to Orlando." She glared at Kakuzu. "Or the city morgue…"
"Hand's up for Orlando!" said Pein.
All but one hand went up.
"Hand's up for the morgue…"
Kakuzu's hand slowly rose.
Pein yawned. "Then it's decided: the Akatsuki are going to Orlando!"
Kakuzu sat on his bed, staring at the small suitcase.
"It's not going to fit." He commented, watching Hidan attempt to fit his enormous scythe inside. "And I don't think they'll let you take that on board anyway."
Meanwhile Itachi was fishing a pair of sunglasses out of the closet. Konan frowned at him.
"But you're blind," she said, "You don't need eye protection."
Itachi held up a white cane. "Yeah, but they give you a discount if you're disabled." He replied. "I want to make sure they believe I'm blind."
The other Akatsuki stopped and stared at each other as invisible light bulbs appeared above their heads.
"What the fuck?" exclaimed Pein.
The Akatsuki were standing beside a bus, suitcases at the ready. All of them expect Pein were wearing sunglasses and carrying white canes.
"This isn't going to work." He said. "Take them off and get on the freaking bus! NOW!"