Three years today. Three years since I last saw him. Three years since his smile lit up my world; Three years since I last had a good nights sleep; Kurt had been my everything, and now he was gone. Gone just like that. I should have noticed something; I should have noticed that he was looking a bit off. His smile wasn't quite the same but I just thought the work at Dalton was getting to him.

I didn't think it was possible for the pain to get worse.

After we graduated Dalton we had made so many plans to travel and go to college in New York, but now they seem so distant. After he went missing I couldn't cope, my parents thought I should get out there; get a job, meet some new people, have a life but I just couldn't. I moved out of their house and I found I place of my own near the city, trying to get away from all the pitiful faces, glances and words.

I could hear my phone ringing, telling me Kurt was on the other end. Sighing I pick it up, hoping that everything was okay.

"Kurt? What's up?" I answered. There was silence on the other end of the line; I looked back down to the screen to see if he was still there. "Kurt?" I called again.

"Sorry," He chuckled stiffly. "Was working on… the computer you know checking up on the new fashions." He sounded very reserved, not how he usually would when talking about clothes.

"It's okay, what did you want to talk about?"

"Just wanted to hear your voice I guess." I laughed and lay down on my bed relaxing a bit. I talked to him for a few hours about anything and everything, quickly falling into our normal rhythm of midnight phone calls.

We talked about the next up coming competition, wondering who was going to get the next solo, both hoping it was the other. I talked about how Finn had finally stood up to Karofsky, only to have Kurt fall silent after that. I began to hum a distant song feeling the drossiness kick in.

"I love you Kurt." I murmured, nuzzling in to my pillow.

"Love you too Blaine, sleep tight." I could hear sadness in his voice; I didn't know why it was there. Before I could ask I heard a sob and I sprang up but couldn't get a word in before the phone hung up. I pressed redial as fast as I could only to get his voice mail. I tried this over and over again but to no avail.

The next day I drove to Kurt's house pounding on the door. Burt opened the door with a scorned look on his face still dressed in his pyjamas.

"Yes?" He asked bluntly. I swallowed hard and look him right in the eyes not caring how much trouble I got in, I just wanted to see Kurt.

"Is Kurt here sir?" I asked trying my best to be polite and stay calm. Burt stood there looking at me for a few seconds before turning around and shouting up the stairs.

"Kurt! Kurt! Get down here, there's someone here to see you!" We wait but no reply or body showed up. "Kurt!" Burt shouted one last time. "Wait here I'll be back in a second." He called back to me. I nodded turning and leaning against the door frame. I looked around me and noticed something missing from the front of the house. My throat got a bit tight, by now I could hear Burt coming down the stairs. As he got nearer to me I turned around.

"He's gone." I whispered before Burt could say it first. His face seemed to gain a few emotions never settling for just one.

"How do you know, boy?" He barked.

"His car is gone."

I tossed in my bed for what felt like the hundredth time. I sleep if I successfully ever get an hour at night, and when I do sleep it was either watching Kurt slip further away from me in my dreams or our special place that seems so distant. I can remember playing there with Kurt as a child running around this big open forest and field and feeling so free.

"Blaine! Wait up," Kurt yelled from behind me. "My legs are tiny!"

I let a laugh slip through my lips as I stopped and turned around, seeing just how far he really was behind me.

"Come on, you do this all the time, and it takes forever to get there." I whine, picking up a few strands of over grown grass that were just within reach, fiddling with the strands while he waited for the automatic sarcastic come back.

"Well I'm sorry but I like taking things slow and we have all day anyway…" He shot back. We were old enough to come here on our own, our parents saying that we knew this place like the back of our hands that we shouldn't get lost, but if something did happen we had to find a place to go to that we both knew just in case.

"Yes, I know that but I would like to spend the rest of our time there instead of wasting it trying to get there Kurt." I huff out as he catches up with me, dropping the grass and holding out my hand, smiling down at him hoping he knew I was only being mildly serious. Squeezing my hand in return and smiling back I knew there was no hard feelings.

We where headed towards the entrance of the clearing, the green leaves of the trees seemed to give off a very calming sense of peace. The trees have to be around seventy feet tall, tightly nit together while the trunks showed their tall dark bark. The sun broke through anything that seemed to be of a questionable nature.

Once we made it past the mile-and-a-half wide forest the clearing was something to be desired, showing its inner beauty to the sky above. With the noise of the river bouncing off the surrounding trees and the vast stretch of grass land as far as the eye could see. Wild flowers of different addortments scattered around the place as if painted in to blend with the background trees.

That was when I decide that I had to go there. In the back of my mind I had been telling myself to go but I never thought I could face it, but right now I felt like I could. I slipped out of bed, threw on my coat and shoes and raced down the stairs, grabbing my keys as I hurled out the front door towards my car. My chest felt like it was constricting around me as I sped up.

After an hour of driving, I slowed down pulling the car up on the side of the road and resting my head on the steering wheel, my chest beginning to heave knowing I was so close to the place we used to spend most of our time. Happy memories began to flood my mind, and I felt like the tears I was holding back would burst through. I tried to steady myself as I opened the car door, the fresh night air hitting off my face as I stepped out, bracing myself for what I was about to do. As I began to walk, I looked up at the surrounding trees that created a protective circle around what used to be paradise for Kurt and Iwhen we were younger.

As I pushed past the overgrown trees, and I found the path where we used to run through hand in hand to reach our paradise, laughing as we tried to beat each other to the centre of our magical place. A place where no one could harm us.

The path ahead seemed to glow as I recalled these memories, making the dark haunting trees seem less aggressive as they leaned toward me. I began looking around for the tree that Kurt and I had named; we vowed that if one of us got lost we would stand there until we were found, or if we came to visit this place we would scratch the bark, with a 'B' or a 'K' As the tree came into view I could see the paradise out of the corner of my eye.

My emotions were beginning to overflow, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was seeing in front of me. I could see the old marks on the tree and I smiled wistfully at them and as I looked down I could see new lines. Tears springing to my eyes my knees began to tremble as I moved my hand over the carved letters. I pulled out my pen knife and made a profound 'B' under the last letter. I couldn't stop looking at his letters. He had been here. Kurt had been here.

I began to feel lighter as I turned around and headed toward the opening of the field. As I neared the edges I could hear the river flowing at the centre. I tensed up and began to feel adrenaline flow through my legs as I ran; I ran as fast as I could returning to the child like behaviour to get to the centre before Kurt could.

Flickers of memories began to assault my mind as I neared the river, and I automatically slowed down like I always did, just enough to let Kurt fly past me and squeal in delight as he beat me. I would smile and flop down beside him, asking him what he wishes to do on this fine morning. He would throw his head back and laugh, lying down to look up at the sky. Saying as long as it involves us being together he wouldn't care.

Shaking my head I began to lower myself down. Resting my head on the grass I looked into the water as it flowed by thinking of the times we had spent here. The sound of the river calmed me as I could feel myself begin to drift of to sleep, the peacefulness feeling wonderful.

"Blaine! STOP I…I can't. Stop it! I mean it!" Kurt giggles uncontrollably.

"Really? You want me to stop?" I whisper as I roll over stopping the tickle fight.

We lay there for a while the lull of the wind passing through the trees all around us. I began humming a meaningless tune and let my eyes wonder over the landscape. Kurt grabbed my hand and held tight, smilling as a solo bird flew above our heads and nesting into the evergreen trees. The land around us seemed to stay still as it always did making us feel that this green and flowering land was only ment for us. The trees looked glossy as the sun shown on them and the river sparkled beside us, crickets could be heard further down the field while the birds seemed to fit in with their tune.

"This will always be our place, wont it?" Kurt asks in a serious tone. Making me realize he meant it.

"Yes, always, its part of our puzzle." I sigh and I roll over again to look at him grinning as I do.

I gasped as I woke up. It felt so real, by now I could feel the unshed tears I had been holding in fall. I cried in earnestnow I couldn't stop them. Kurt had left and it felt like he was never going to come back.

I felt like I wanted to scream to the heavens asking where he was. I got up angrily and glared around the field. This place had held all of out secrets and our cherished moments and right now it only seemed to smile mockingly back at me. I feel like I'm alone in this world; like I'm ageing so fast with nothing to help ease the pain. I need something, someone to help me.

"Kurt," I whisper out just hoping he can hear me where ever he is. "I want you back; I want to be with you again. I can't fight against this world without you. My sleepless nights are making me so tired and I don't think I can cope anymore. You're my everything and you always have been. Kurt, if you can hear me, please come back to me; tell me where to find you, anything- please!" My voice crocus, my emotions beginning to overwhelm me as a mixure of emotions began to overwhelm me.

I fall to my knees, I can feel myself fall apart- like there is nothing else I can do. I can feel the salty tears flowing from my eyes unable to stop them.

The trees around me seem to be looking at me and it feels like Kurt is still here, looking at me though worried eyes wondering why I am so upset.

I could see the sun begin to rise as I settled down by a tree. Looking over the rest of the field, I could visualise myself running around in front of my eyes and Kurt sitting there laughing at my antics.

"Kurt…" Not even I could think of what I was going to say as he stopped to look at him with a questioning glance. "I love you" I spoke out.

The grin that appeared on his face was enough to make my heart beat faster and fill with more love than I though possible.

"I love you too Blaine, I always will."

Maybe I shouldn't have come here. My mind drifts back to our tree. Kurt had been here, so why had he not come back to see me? Had I done something wrong? Was he hurt? Did he even consider how hurt and alone I was?

Rubbing my fists against my eyes, I let out a frustrated groan. The last time I was here, Kurt and I were laughing and making jokes in the shining sun, without a care in the world, now the rising sun felt somewhat dull. When we used to watch the sun rise it felt so magical; so heart warming but now it feels so gut wrenching.

I knew this was a bad idea. I got up and began to walk back to the river, and as I looked in the water I thought I saw a flicker of red. I tried to see if it was a stray fish, walking on further down the bank, at a slow pace trying my best to see it again. When it appeared again, I realised it wasn't a fish. It was a reflection.

My heart began to beat uncontrollably and I froze.

"Blaine…"

Hope you enjoyed it!

A lot of this was also done with help from my friend Kitty! Helping with grammer and making it sound right and not all mixed up!

xox