Last Rick and Testament

by JackHabbit

If Rick and Morty fouled something up so badly they had to travel together in space indefinitely, what would Rick want to tell Morty concerning the possibility of his own mortality catching up to them?

Morty.

Some day you're gonna come out of the shower and find me on one of these motel beds, staring into space and dying. My liver won't hold out forever Morty. My fingers have already taken on a yellow tone in these last two years since Earth was destroyed. Don't kid yourself; you've noticed. But you better remember this letter and read it, because I'm not gonna be there to remind you or tell you myself. And when you read this, if you don't mind Morty, don't come over to my dying corpse to scream "What the hell Rick, how could you say this, you mean so much to me blah blah blah." I don't want my last memory to be filled with a horrible pain in my ass Morty.

They won't be coming after you Morty. C-137's Morty is about as valuable as a potato if C-137 Rick is dead. So don't portal us to a hospital. I'm not keen on going quietly into that good night Morty, but my liver is more vital to me than my heart, so if it goes, that's pretty much- that's the end of my quality of life Morty; I'm not gonna go to fucking AA meetings. And you'll have the portal gun to yourself. The only Morty in the universe with his own portal gun - it's illegal, Morty, to give a Morty a portal gun, so no other Ricks do it, and Mortys are too cowardly to take one themselves, too dumb to build one. You'll be the only one.

Before you ignore me and beam us to the nearest ER, think about this Morty. Nobody will be after you. Get it? You could dump my body into federation space and drive off and this would all be just a bad dream you could finally wake up from. You could ask around, see if our Summer and Jerry are still around, or hell, maybe just Summer, and not worry that someone would bomb the ground you two were standing on to get to me.

So when it happens Morty, and I'm binding you to this like a fuckin last will- watch that door close. Let me go. Watch our only way out together disappear and find a new way out alone. Oh but be sure you do it within twenty minutes after I die, otherwise my stomach will explode cause I won't be drinking the medication in my flask that keeps the alien booze from turning my body into a living bomb. Maybe evacuate the building - I don't Morty, whatever you think is best. Just get outta the blast radius.

Love Grandpa