Disclaimer: Psshttt, if I owned PoT, you would be really frightened. I do own what you haven't heard of though.
Author's Notes: I do not know when this is set. But do you all care? I don't think sooo! Let's presume it's somewhere after the Hyotei arc then. This would be some kind of filler episode if it existed. By the way, this fic doesn't have shounen ai (as much as I love it... *sob*), simply because I probably can't write PoT that way without mangling everyone. I dunno, it's just that I think for PoT, everyone would still act the same even if they *were* together. But... whatever, this isn't a shounen ai rant. XD
Please realize this isn't to be taken seriously! I don't even know if this is funny... I have a warped sense of humor. O.o gave me some gangster vocab. I still use some of my fake gangster vocab here though. What can I say? Improvising is good!
The Japanese will have ~ beside the quotations. Well, unless you count the OBVIOUS Japanese sayings. I'm not in the mood to write fangirl Japanese. It just seems awkward. X_X
/Mary Sue has come to Seigaku and it turns out she's Ryoma's 'homie'! 'Sup with that, my crew? Along with that, Ryoma is convinced that he is a Super Saiyan!/
[The theme song or something... Fast forward to Ryoma aiming for our faces with his racket.]
[Dun dun dun dun dun~! Episode title!]
Mary Sue
A WEIRD Prince of Tennis Fic
Written by Ayako
ENTER RYOMA
"WASSUP, MAN?!"
Ryoma was jolted awake by the strange pronunciation of English-that was, strangely enough, better sounding than when his peers tried to read their assigned lines. He didn't find it worth his attention though, and decided to go back to drifting off into sleep since he would never fail English anyway.
"Yo, foo'! Don't be trippin' on ur G!"
~"Echizen! She's talking to you!"~
It was Horio. Bah, Ryoma didn't care what Horio said anyway. "Mada mada dane..." he mumbled, snuggling into his notebook.
"Book 'em, teach! Dat foo' is dissin' me!"
"Erm... Miss Sue, what do you mean...?"
Hmm, that name sounded a bit familiar... Nah, it must be his imagination.
"Simple, teach! Dat biyatch used ta be phat!"
"... Echizen used to be overweight?"
"... Haha, yous a good guy! A regular daddy mac!"
"O...kay... Well, after you give an introduction of yourself, you may choose a seat and then we'll resume with our lessons."
"Sweet!"
The class was even more quiet than usual, Ryoma noted. Hmm, that was a pleasant change. He liked things to be quiet.
"Would you mind, well, speaking in more... proper English?"
"What'cha talkin' 'bout, teach?"
"Er, well..."
"People these days, not respectin' da ganstahs..."
There was the sound of something being taken out and the flipping of pages before the voice continued.
~"He...llo... I am... Sue Mary. Pleas...pleased to meet you. I... doooo...n't know mu..uch Japanese, bu...t I hope to learn."~
Mary Sue, huh? Ryoma decided that he would allow his mind to use less than 0.01% in order to remember who that was. It was kind of hard, since his mind was completely filled with tennis. That was one of the reasons why he always seemed to forget who everyone was-besides the regulars and his 'groupies'. No, he didn't really think of them as groupies, but seeing that they always praised him, he might as well.
Ryoma knew he was good, but he didn't need cheerleaders to prove it. His ears were still ringing from the calls of Ryoma-sama in the morning. Who knew that girl was so obsessed that she'd wake up extra early to cheer him on? That one girl was there too, and as usual, her face was looking a little red.
Ryoma wondered why she didn't see a doctor. She always looked like she had a fever.
"Today we will discuss blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah..."
Ryoma always drowned out the teacher's voice. He would just look at the board later if he asked him a question. The board always had the answers to just about everything. The only reason the students had problems with the material was because it would take them a long time to "decode" what was on the board. Now, back to his thinking.
... Hmm, nah, Ryoma preferred to think about tennis.
One of Ryoma's favorite daydreams was the one of him serving to his teammates, and having them trip everywhere trying to get the tennis ball. Afterwards, he would go with his customary saying and they would chibify, crying at their losses.
But noooo, Captain Tezuka wouldn't cry... the most he'd do was give a half pout.
"Mada mada daneeee... zzz..."
Exactly! Mada mada dane!
... WAIT A SECOND!
Did someone just steal Ryoma's catch phrase?!
...
THEY DID!
Hellllll noooo! Ryoma was gonna lay da smack down on dat punk!
He could feel his energy rising to its peak and his hair defy gravity. Now all he had to do was scream to bring it out to its fullest. "AHHHHHH!" It was time... he was finally...
Yes, Ryoma had accomplished his third goal in life. His first was to be the best Tennis player in the world of course (he still wanted to beat his Dad, but it was a part of his plan to aim even higher), the second, to make sure Karupin didn't get too overweight, and yes, his last was to be a Super Saiyan.
Horio stared at him with THE LOOK. It was the same look Ryoma gave him when he bragged about his two years of experience in tennis.
... Oh no, he didn't!
Well, Ryoma knew that Horio DID, but... yeah. In his mind, what he said (well, thought) was logical. So now he had to punish Horio first. He started to get in position, gathering up the energy in the palm of his hand. "Kame... hame..." Yes, it was expanding, threatening to explode in the palm of his hand. But, Ryoma the Super Saiyan could handle it. "HA!"
With that, Horio was destroyed and now Ryoma's LOOK was forever his own.
~"Echizen! No throwing tennis balls at your classmates!"~
Huh? Ryoma blinked. Tennis balls? Didn't the teacher see him perform a Kamahameha? Didn't they ever watch Dragon Ball Z? He frowned and sat down, mumbling about how Goku wouldn't have gotten treated like this.
After class was over, Ryoma mused on how to do a Kamehameha in tennis. He was sure that it would be a legal move, but how would his opponent react to him becoming Super Saiyan? Hmm, maybe he should use a Kamehameha without turning Super Saiyan... After all, he would have too great an advantage. He wanted to save his Super Saiyan transformation for the Nationals.
BAM!
Ryoma saw colors, lots of colors. No, make that... He saw lots of *pretty* colors. His body was hurting too.
Oh, someone was sitting on him. His vision began to clear and he made more sense on that. Now he knew that a female someone was sitting on him.
"Ryoma, you jerk! How could you forget about ME?! Me, MARY SUE! I can't believe I ever let you play Sega Professional Tennis: Power Smash with me! I even bought Karupin a new toy! Well, I'M GOING TO RETURN IT IF YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME! I... I have the RECEIPT!"
A receipt?! English that didn't have a Japanese accent?! That could only mean... Ryoma gaped, vision finally unclouded. He saw the girl in question and abruptly sat up. "Mary Sue!"
Mary rolled her eyes. "Well, duh! That's what I've been saying the past few minutes!"
Ryoma blinked. "Past few minutes? You were here before?"
Mary gaped. "You... You didn't know I was here?"
Ryoma shook his head.
"Ta make up fo' dat, we'll have ta chill at the sevn-leven!"
Ryoma raised a brow at her language. "Since when did you speak in gangster language?"
"Since it scared old folks into giving me free stuff!" Mary gave him a stupid grin, waving cheerfully.
Ryoma nodded, unconvinced. "Mmm hmm... Sure."
"Your Kamehameha has improved! I'm so psyched!"
Ryoma snorted, "Yeah... Okay... I haven't been able to find a 7-11 around here. Maybe we can improvise and hang out some other time."
"What?! You don't want to go afterschool today to play? I thought you loved tennis!"
"Well, I did get into the Tennis team as a regular. I'm sure that the real thing is much more exciting."
Mary sparkled. "Ryoma... You... you got in?! I'm so proud!"
"You doubted me? Hmmph." Ryoma remembered something. " Oh right. Can you get off of me?"
Mary Sue did so.
"Ryoma-sama!"
"Ry-Ryoma-kun!"
Mary took a look at the two girls and gaped. "Ryoma, you have groupies?!"
Hmm, what were their names again? Eh, Ryoma wasn't in the mood to think about it. He knew that one girl was related to Ryuzaki... but his "fan club president's" name never made it into his brain. Ah well, they wouldn't notice that he never called them by their names anyway. "Hn." He would just dub them in his head as... hmm... "Wrong Directions Girl" and "Ryoma-sama Girl". Those were the best his brilliant mind could think about at the moment.
~"Who are you? I didn't give you permission to speak, or to stand close to Ryoma-sama!"~ Ryoma-sama Girl looked at Mary with vehemence.
Mary blinked, pointing at herself. "Me?"
~"You think you're so worthy just because you know a little English? Well, I won't have it!!"~ Ryoma-sama Girl breathed flames.
Wrong Directions Girl tapped Ryoma-sama Girl on the shoulder, trying to get her attention. "Tomoka-chan!"
Tomoka? Oh. So that was her name. Well... He wasn't in the mood to remember it anyway.
Mary squeaked. "Ryoma! Who is sheee?"
Ryoma-sama Girl wagged a finger in Mary's face to bring the girl's attention back to her. ~"What did I say about talking to Ryoma-sama without my permission? I'm the president of the Ryoma Fanclub, and I may just let you speak to him IF you pay the membership fee!"~
~"Tomoko-chan! A member ship fee?"~
~"Hoho! Anything for my Ryoma-sama!"~
Ryoma twitched. All these annoying people were getting on his nerves. Yes, Mary included. He didn't want to be bothered today, so he just decided to leave gracefully.
~"Echizen! Where are you going?"~
~"Eh, toliet."~ With that, Ryoma ran away.
EXIT RYOMA
~"I, Horio, with two years of Tennis experience, will explain!"~ Horio posed, to show off his coolness. He *was* a celebrity after all.
~"That has nothing to do with this!"~ Osakada growled, pulling her fist up to threaten him.
Horio sputtered. These people were dense! Of course it did! He didn't have to explain himself to the likes of mortals. ~"This is Sue Mary, our new transfer student. She doesn't know much Japanese. She seems to know Echizen."~
Osakada gasped. ~"Sh-she dared to speak more than a word to Ryoma-sama?!"~
Ryuzaki gave a nervous giggle. ~"Tomoka-chan, she wouldn't know about Ryoma-kun's fanclub."~
Osakada appeared to be thinking about this. Horio was surprised, he wasn't aware she knew how to think.
~"All right! I'll allow it this time. But we've got to tell her about the fanclub!"~
Horio wondered why there weren't any intelligent girls in their school.
~"W-what?! She's gone!"~
Horio looked in the direction the new student was at, only to see it empty. Being able to disappear without the mighty Horio noticing... How did that sound familiar? Hmm, Mary Sue... Mary Sue... Where had he heard that name before?
Kachiro and Katsuo made their way into the room. ~"Is Ryoma-kun here?"~
~"Oh no! Echizen is in trouble!"~
The four looked at Horio with confusion.
Horio shuddered. They just did not know what was going on. ~"I've heard about this Mary Sue! She goes around the world bringing destruction! She weaves men under her spell and they just... They go nuts!"~
The four did a synchronized gasp.
[Cue uh, commercial break thing]
TO BE CONTINUED...
Why Ryoma Does Whatever in this Fic: Isn't it strange how Ryoma doesn't notice Sakuno's affection for him (come on, it's obvious he doesn't!) while he can sort of see other things related to that sort of thing? I think it's because she doesn't outright say it like everyone else seems to? Tomoka is obvious, cheering him on all the time. Shiba and him don't really talk, but I'm sure he'd notice because she practically squeals. Then there's that lady in episode seventy-six that, according to Ryoma, was "hitting on him". First time she met the guy, and she makes an offer! Ryoma needs things besides tennis to be shoved in his face, or else he won't really notice. Like, Ann kind of made it obvious it was some kind of "date", even if the... event wasn't... date-ish. ^^ At least, that's what I'm thinking about our darling tennis player. And really! I never see Ryoma address his classmates by their names, only his fellow regulars. He never really calls Horio, Horio, I think. He may pretend to be him sometimes, but... yeah. Either way, since you aren't supposed to take this seriously, we can ignore my dumb notes!
Uh, and about the Dragon Ball Z thing, uh… I dunno. X_X;