A/N: Hiyo!!! This is my first PotC fic (obviously, since it just came out a week ago) and I hope y'all like it!
DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue!!!
FULL SUMMARY: Carmina has been stuck in Tortuga for 3 and a half years. It seems her luck may finally have turned, when the Black Pearl sails in, looking for new crewmembers? One slight problem. The new crewmembers must be male. But does that stop her? No! And so begins the ultimate game of subterfuge and disguise, as our desperate heroine embarks on the greatest adventure ever, under the command of the handsome and charismatic CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow (^.^) and watched over by Will Turner, who is on his way home to his wife and child (don't you worry, I'm a W/E shipper!). But Carmina's perfect plan has a few faults. Just a few things she didn't count on. Like being attacked. And falling in love…
It's centered mostly around Jack, cuz I like Will and Elizabeth too much to split them up… ;_; they're so cute!!!!! Anyways, please review when you're done reading, cuz I want to hear from you! Even if you don't like it. But flame at you own risk. Constructive criticism welcome. Arigato gozimasu!
"That is the last time I will ever trust you!" Carmina Ramirez slammed the door in a huff. Unfortunately, her sweeping skirt got slammed in there too, and she was forced to open the door again and yank it out, spoiling her air of dignified anger.
"Ah, that's what ya always say, Mina…" Richard called out, voice muffed by the thick slab of wood between them. "But then ya always come crawlin' back ta me t'ree days later!" he called, voice mocking.
"Yeah?!" Carmina shouted back. "Well this was the last time! See if I ever speak to you again!" she stormed off amid Richard's high pitched cauterwaulings of, "Oh Richie, won't you please get me out of here?! Oh Richie, I have the money this time! Oh Richie, Richie please!"
She strode down the dingy street, around two brawling men (at least she hoped they were male), past a drunken chorus, over the miscellaneous persons passed out, dead, or sleeping on the street, under the windows of the brothel, and into the dingy lodging house she had called 'home' for the past three and a half years.
An old man was sleeping on the desk inside, and instead of waking him, she laid a shilling on the desk in front of him, and proceeded up the stairs. "Oh Richie." She muttered. "Pish."
When she reached her dismal room, she unlocked the door, locked it behind her, and flopped down on her bed, burying her head in her threadbare pillow.
Why?! Why do I always trust him?! I should have learned my lesson after he double-crossed me the third time! She rested her chin on her pillow, and stared out the grimy window at the night sky. "I just want out of here!" she pleaded to the stars, "Is that really so much to ask?!"
Later that night, Carmina appeared in the 'Hook and Eye' tavern, in a mood black enough to bring a calm sea to storm. She grabbed the broom from Meg's unsuspecting hands and commenced to sweeping furiously in the corner.
The other barmaid took one look at Carmina's fiery glare, dark scowl, and wild sweeping, and sighed. "Richard again?"
Carmina growled. "I don't know why I ever trusted that blackguard." She slammed the broom down. "All he's ever done is play me the fool, and all I've ever done is run right back to him, skirts between m'legs!" she eyed the tavern. "But I swear, I'm getting out of here, and I don't need him ta do it!"
Meg smiled and nodded, but didn't look too convinced. After all, Carmina had been saying that for three years and five months! The girl had been one month in Tortuga when she announced that she couldn't take it anymore, and was leaving. No one had believed her then, and no one believed her now. Meg felt bad for the poor girl.
Carmina's mood brightened and she grinned. "Just you watch me, Meg! Just you watch me!"
Jack Sparrow, infamous pirate, and captain of the Black Pearl, pounded his forehead mutely on the thick wooden table. The bartender took one look at him and silently refilled his mug. Jack rubbed his sore head, and slowly fished out another shilling for the man. "Ugh. I guess Tortuga ain't the place ta look fer a crew anymore, eh?"
The bartender leaned forward. "Whadder ye mean? Tortuga's up to 'er skivvies in willin' an ablebodied crew!"
Jack shook his head, grimaced, and rubbed his forehead. "Not fer me. Rumor's blown the incident wiv' the Black Pearl and Barbossa way out of proportion. People seem ta think that I'm gonna turn inta a skeleton every few minutes." He wiggled his tongue and waved his arms at the bartender, who backed away. "See? Like that!" With a sigh, Jack dropped his chin to his fist and shrugged. "I'll stay here fer another day er so, see if someone desprit' don't come crawlin' outta the woodwork…"
Carmina was getting ready to close up the tavern, shooing out conscious patrons, and throwing out those passed out on the floor. She noticed one man still sitting in a secluded corner, nursing a mug of ale. He had wild dark hair, arrayed with a horrendous clash of beads and miscellaneous baubles, and a beaten leather tricorn hat pulled low over his eyes. He looked suspiciously like he was… moping.
Cautiously, she approached him. "Sir, it's closing time. You need ta get out." She poked him lightly with the broom. "Sir?"
He seized the broom, and glared at her with kohl-rimmed eyes. "That's Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow."
Quite unnerved, Carmina shrank back, futilely pulling at her broom. "Si-I mean, uh, Captain Sparrow, I have to ask you to leave now. Just give me your mug, and I'll help you outside…" she watched his eyes, trying to see how drunk he was.
The man sighed and let go of her broom. "Sorry. Pet peeve of mine. I'm jist getting antsy, stuck here on land…" he continued to ramble a bit, but allowed Carmina to pry the mug from his fingers and haul him to his feet. She nodded and made noncommittal noises while he babbled, focusing on getting him out of the tavern. But suddenly, she was VERY interested in what he was saying.
"-need a few replacements in me crew. Came ta Tortuga looking for a few new crewmembers. But everyone in this place is ascared a me. Skeleton Sparrow. Captain Bones. Bunch a bleedin' pansies, I say." He paused and looked up at her. "Ay, wench, ye wouldn't happen ta know anybody desprit' enough ta sail under me flag? Boys, mind you. Had too many bad experiences with women on me ship. Not bad luck per say, they jist have this way of makin' me look bad."
Carmina's heart, which had been steadily rising upwards, plummeted. "I um…Boys, Captain?"
He nodded. "Flat of chest, an' heavy of pants, if ya know what I mean!" he cackled drunkenly.
An idea began to worm it's way into Carmina's mind, and she smiled devilishly. "Boys? Why sure I do! A very nice one in fact! 'Is name's…Nicolas. Nicholas Sharpe. He's my brother in fact, and just aching to get off Tortuga. Shall I send him to you tomorrow, Captain?"
Jack grinned and enthusiastically wrapped Carmina in a bear hug. "Wonderful! Why don't we go meet the chap now?"
Carmina choked, partly because she was being crushed to death, but the other part had nothing to do with the hug. "Now?!" she squeaked. "Uh… We can't! He uh… he works the night shift in the shop. He's apprenticed to a baker, you see. Has to make the goods for tomorrow!"
Jack laughed. "Wonderful! Even more wonderful! He can help with the cooking! The bloke I've got cooking now doesn't know a ladle from a jib sail!" he (fortunately) released Carmina, and strode towards the door, jamming his hat low over his eyes. He swung open the door, and turned back to Carmina. "Send him to me at precisely 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I shall be awake by then, and I will meet him in the common room of the 'Fox and Hound'." He named an inn a few minutes from Carmina's lodging house. With a flourished bow, he stepped into the night.
Carmina leaned her back against the closed door, and sank to the floor. What have I gotten myself into? With a sigh, she hauled herself to her feet. Exactly what you wanted…another part of her brain responded. You're going to get out of this miserable place, for good!
She smiled. "Meg!" she yelled, running into the kitchen. "Oh, Meg! You'll never guess what's happened!"
A/N: Well? Like it? Hate it? Tell me!