Author: TekJounin

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, all the ninja men would be half-dressed. I'm not picky about which half, either.

Finally, after years of chasing him, Team 7 had managed to capture and return Uchiha Sasuke to Konoha. It was an epic battle, full of outrageous jutsus and heart-tugging flashbacks. Sasuke put up an incredible fight, what will all the power-ups he'd gotten for free from Orochimaru and Itachi.

At the end, he finally surrendered, saying "You know what, if I get any more powerful, I'll probably go super-nova. There is no way that a human body can contain any more awesome and smex without causing world-wide disruption. And being the most powerful creature in a rapidly-expanding ball of dust doesn't suit me. I need an audience to appreciate me. I might as well go back with you and live happily ever after. BTW, where'd you get that impressive crow, Naruto? It so reminded me of...never mind. Hn."

And then he promptly passed out from having said more words at one time than he had in the past 16 years. Or maybe the belated Rasengan to the crotch that Naruto had been unable to stop. Oops. His aim usually wasn't so off.

Now Kakashi, Naruto, Sai and Sakura sat in the otherwise-deserted Interrogator's Lounge, planning their next move. Sasuke would need to be interrogated and assigned punishment before he'd be reinstated as a proud Konoha shinobi and it was their job to make the arrangements. Something that would sufficiently wipe out the cost of the lives he'd taken or disrupted over the years.

Sakura, who was now the Supreme Commander of ANBU, sighed and twirled a lock of stunningly long, lustrous pink hair around one slender finger. She'd let it grow out again, longer than before (her hair, not her finger), with the top cut in a puffy mullet like David Bowie in "Labyrinth" but floor-length in the back. It was totally awesome and looked amazing when she was regularly caught in the shower by various male ninjas, enticingly twirled around her most private bits (her hair, not the men but didn't they just wish). Funny how often that happened and so accidentally, every time.

She had trained hard under Tsunade and regularly triumphed over Neji in a friendly spar, while still finding time to beat Shikamaru at shougi and becoming the most skilled and sought after medic nin in the universe. Now that she'd also shown more ruthlessness than Morino Ibiki, she ran the Interrogation Department and did so with an iron fist.

At this moment, she was debating how to approach the Uchiha. Torture, seduction or brute force? Hm. The amazingly petite woman had a calculating look in her vibrant verdant emerald eyes that were situated below her cotton candy roseate bubblegum pinkette hair. Maybe all three at once. Kinky.

Not that she thought of him like that anymore. She'd killed her heart and taken Rule 25 to the utmost. Even if she did spend 65% of an average day crying, it wasn't weakness. It was a strength to survive dehydration on a regular basis, wasn't it? And damned handy to have all that water available for her kick-ass suitons, too. Besides, her ability to drop off to sleep at a moment's notice for 16 hours at a time kept her topped off, right? The 12-tailed wolf that she secretly harbored inside herself did take a toll, after all.

Kakashi, the former slacker sensei (well, former sensei, as he was still a slacker), had his nose buried in his Icha Icha novel and his steel-colored hair was at slouching attention. He trusted his brilliant student to make the right decision without his input, regardless of his years of experience.

He looked briefly at Naruto, with his trademark brilliant golden blonde spiky hair atop his currently drooling face that contains cerulean sapphire sky blue eyes, who was zoned out and muttering "ramen" over and over. Although Naruto had become massively stronger and was totally respected by the village, he was still the same goofy prankster as he'd been in his youth. He would surely make a fine Hokage soon.

Looking at the newest member of the team, Sai, the pale Sasuke clone, Kakashi noticed the ever-present fake smile and n.n eyes. Kakashi peered into the scroll the former Root member was quickly painting in. Ah, more penises. The boy might need to be introduced to the Icha Icha series. Soon. And the concept of 'love tunnels,' 'heated cores' and 'hot, wet cauldrons.' Was it 'cauldrons?' No, a mouth was a 'cavern.' Right.

Returning his gaze to the most beautiful woman in the room, Kakashi contemplated her delicate visage. She'd certainly surpassed Tsunade, in skill, jutsu and boobage. Heck, he could admit that she'd surpassed himself in all three, as well. He let his eyes roam over her curves and imagined thrusting and groping and other hentai stuff, then realized he could get all that from his little orange book without even removing his mask, plus it would preserve his cool, laidback reputation!

Just as he was about to return to said novel, something in the air changed. Naruto hadn't farted so he looked to Sakura again. He could tell that her towering intellect had arrived at the perfect solution for the situation.

Man, after all his years as an elite shinobi, she had suddenly and inexplicably left him in her dust, even though she'd shown no signs of doing anything but crying buckets or smashing things. He was so very proud of her, even though he'd neglected her training in favor of the boys. Maybe he'd even pay for his own ramen today instead of sticking her with the bill. Who was he kidding; by now it was tradition. Hehe.

Sakura was thinking furiously. This was it! Sasuke was back and she planned to make him pay dearly for breaking her heart and causing her heartfoxtwinbrother such grief. It felt so empowering to be the one on top for once. She'd worked her whole life for this very moment, forget about wanting to reach her personal best or preserving the village.

Although she deplored Sasuke's life-long ambition of revenge, it was different when she sought it. And it reminded her of her favorite song, which was playing on her iPod right now! "YMCA, it's always fun at the YMCA!" Shannaro! She'd make it fun again, just watch her! Or she'd make the brooding avenger wear those butt-less chaps, like the guy in the video. Now, that sounded like fun. She'd webcam it on her cell phone and post it on YouTube! He was such a human ice cube. (Note: required allusion)

Sakura straightened up suddenly, bashing one closed fist into the tabletop. A table leg shattered and caused the table to list drunkenly to one side. Everyone was so used to this by now that they just shifted slightly to avoid shrapnel without commenting on it or even looking up. "I think it's time I paid the traitor a little visit," she declared forcefully.

Jumping to her tiny feet, she whipped off her tightly-belted black leather doctor's coat to reveal a lush figure clad in a short, tight, lacy, see-through, halter-necked pink dress (the new female Jounin uniform, designed by Genma). Making sure her fishnet stockings were straight and her tasteful, yet enormous, diamond and ruby cherry blossom necklace was secure, she stood in her thigh-high, 6" stiletto-heeled boots and strode swiftly to the room where Sasuke was being held.

The three Jounins looked through the one-way mirror into the holding cell and watched as Sakura walked in, all swaying hips and jiggling cleavage. Sasuke remained stone-faced as she came into view, even when she grabbed a metal chair that was bolted to the floor, spun it around backwards & straddled it, revealing her microscopic pink thong panties in the process. She, of course, had no idea that she looked magnificent. He took a moment to ponder if it was indeed panties or matching carpet before deciding that no one, not even Sakura, would have shimmering, hot-pink carpet.

Flipping through his file that she mysteriously produced out of thin air, Sakura concentrated on his long list of misdeeds. Surreptitiously, she looked at him from the corner of her eye, even though he was right in front of her. He was still devastatingly handsome, if a bit thin. She gnawed on her lips and firmed her resolve. She would not be a fangirl to an Uchiha ever again! She was strong and he would know it for sure this time.

"Tell me, Uchiha-sama, does revenge taste as sweet as you thought it would?," she purred. Yeah, she purred. It was dead sexy but she wasn't aware of that. Sakura's seafoam green eyes shyly looked at him from under a fringe of impossibly long, thick cerise eyelashes.

Sasuke merely stared at her, unblinking. He wasn't going to fall for any stupid girly tricks, not matter how much she frightened him. He was an expertly forged weapon, tempered in blood, sharp and deadly. He'd killed his loving brother, for kami-sama-llama-ding-dong's sake! Besides, if he answered her, surely he would lose his composure and cry like a baby. After all, no one in the world could understand his hate, his love, his aching need for tomatoes, his recent understanding of forehead pokes.

There would be no sharing of feelings or any of that personal crap for this uber-hot avenger! He had an angsty reputation to uphold. Besides, he only ever told those sorts of things to Mr. Roary, his stuffed green dinosaur. Mr. Roary never repeated a word, never told of the countless tears he'd absorbed, never judged, never seemed to mind an occasional awkward hump. His black button eyes just stared back, accepting it all. Sasuke sometimes thought those eyes were like his nii-san's but couldn't quite fathom the can of worms that thought would open.

"Sasuke-kuuun, please. Tell me that you're a changed man now. Tell me that you love Konoha and will defend it to your last breath. If you do, we'll give a few D-rank missions and then you can move back into the Uchiha district and start reviving your clan," Sakura begged prettily.

"Hn," he grunted, "Sure. What you said."

"Oh, gee, Sasuke-kun!" she cried happily, clapping her hands, her eyes huge, quivering and shiny. "I just knew you were under some twisted Sharingan hoodoo from Madara! Or emotional trauma from the Massacre, which Madara also orchestrated! It was all Madara and you were the vulnerable pawn, with absolutely no free will or choice in the matter. Now we can put all this unpleasantness behind us and everything will go back to the way it was before!" Sakura's face lit up like the sun and she smiled that happy, vapid smile he remembered so well from their early years, her eyes welling with tears.

"Tch. Whatever," grunted Sasuke. He secretly marveled at how intuitive Sakura had become but dismissed the thought immediately. After all, she was just a weak girl. With boobs that only an anime character could move around with. He pondered whether she used chakra supports or an anti-gravity device to keep them so perky looking. Not that he cared. He needed to remember that.

Sakura jumped to her feet & skipped over to the avenger. Using her chakra scalpels and her monstrous strength, she had him released from his bonds in no time. Forget about keys and stuff, she wanted him to know freedom after his ordeal! He was almost impressed with her skills but quickly dismissed the feeling. After all, she could smash mountains and heal fatal (fatal!) wounds with those little hands but it wasn't like she could do chidori or anything cool.

Sasuke stood up and towered over Sakura, even in her heels. She was so delicate, he could crush her with one hand. Her head only came up to his belt, which could come in handy for, ahem, other activities. How she'd gotten smaller than she was at age 12, he couldn't understand but that was all right, since he didn't really care anyway. Remember? Even if he now realized that he suddenly found himself undeniably attracted to her.

She was thin, incredibly thin, and so very fragile, it was a wonder she could bear the weight of that astounding rack. He realized that he was getting uncomfortable down there, just thinking about her pre-pubescent, but fully developed, form. It didn't make him a pedophile, did it? He didn't care at the moment, he was just glad to know that "Mr. Hebi" hadn't been seriously damaged from that awkward blow Naruto had landed in the epic battle. He had a clan to revive, even if he didn't have the faintest idea how to go about it. He had a vague idea that fruit was involved.

Feeling very self-conscious, Sasuke bowed to Sakura and thanked her for freeing him from his torment over abandoning his home and friends. (A/N: Cuz he just would, you know? So like him. idk) And it didn't hurt that he had an excellent view of her cleavage while he did it.

Wait, she was a medic nin, right? Maybe he'd tell her he'd pulled a groin muscle and get her to check it out. Maybe he'd let her pull his groin muscle when he got her back to his enormous, marble-floored, leather furniture-furnished, fully-modern mansion that still had maids and butlers roaming the place. It would be an honor any woman (and many of the men) in the village would jump at. He made a mental note to stop at the market on the way home to stock up on lemons. Yeah. Lemons.

Sakura took his enormous hand with her frail little appendage and looked so far up to see his beautiful face, framed with those gorgeous chicken-butt raven locks. Some days she missed having that school-girl crush on him, especially when he looked so hott, like OMG.

Forget that he hadn't bathed after the battle or that he was still wearing that fashion disaster skirt-and-rope outfit. Despite all of that, she could still smell the unique scent of him: kunai oil, lightly chewed fresh spearmint gum and possibly a bit of cat poo.

Wait, what? Could she be falling in love with him again? No, it couldn't be. She was so over him. Oh, but why not, she thought. I'm the most powerful kunoichi in the world; he'll respect me for that, right? Cuz that would so be like him. 'And if he doesn't return my feelings, whatever they might be, I'll just stuff myself with ice cream and KFC and watch chick flicks on DVD while Ino tries to set me up with her rejects', she thought. 'And cry. Maybe I'll get incredibly drunk, cuz a ninja who's pretty much on duty 24/7 would get totally plastered if their heart was broken. Again. And cry. Or whatever. idk, lalala.'

Having acted as far out of character as he thought he possibly could and still remain him, Sasuke demanded that he be allowed to leave. Sakura timidly allowed him to sweep past her, his elbow brushing against her highly sensitive and increasingly large bosom. He wrenched the door open and in two powerful strides was in the hall.

Pausing, he slanted a look at her over his shoulder with his smoldering onyx eyes. Sakura felt a growing ache in her loins but decided to hum to distract herself. No one else in the world makes a conscience decision to hum but Sakura was not your average rosy-pink-haired, apple-green-eyed little girl.

"Are you coming?" he asked. Sakura squealed and ran to catch up to him. He was polite! He asked her to accompany him! It was like she'd always dreamed. Sigh.