Author's Ramblings:

Hey everyone! It's been a long time, I know. And I'm still alive and well (if anyone cares, lol). I wanted to apologize for being on hiatus for so long. I lost a lot of inspiration, and just could not find myself to finish my fics. But, with a lot of encouragement (and threats . lol) from so many people, I've decided to give another stab at it. Unfortunately, I have lost all my notes for Choosing Between Destinies (FF8 fic) and Arranged Love (DW fic). So until I find them, or come up with new plans, I've decided to write some one-shot quickies to get back into the flow of writing.

I want to thank everyone who's still checking if I'm writing any more fics every now and then, I really appreciate it! And it's so nice to have you msging me. Thanks again!

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Confessions of a Broken Heart

Seifer Almasy. Two words that I will never forget for the rest of my life. These two words would have more meaning to my life than I could ever imagine. What I didn't know, was that I would realize it too late.

The SeeD Graduation Ball is a time when young SeeDs gather with their fellow classmates one last time before they all depart on their own ways. As one of their many instructors, I was forced with the grueling job of supervision during the ball. These nights are the ones that I hate most. Standing off on the sides, watching happy couples share memorable kisses and young love begin to spark from a single dance. Take Squall Lionhart and Rinoa Heartilly for example. Their love affair began the night of Squall's graduation.

I have to admit though, as much as I say I hate all this lovey doveyness, deep down, I did enjoy it. It's nice to see other people happy, even if I couldn't be like them. Ever since I played my part in the Sorceress Wars, I had become bitter about life and the world around it. The satisfaction of knowing that other people weren't like me, was good enough.

"I can't believe they gave you your Instructor's License back. You know Trepe, you were a pretty lousy instructor for me."

"It's Instructor Trepe to you, Almasy." I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth. Of all the people to come talk to me, it had to be him.

"You know what else? I can't believe Cid let me back after all that." He spun in front of me and gave me his infamous smirk.

"It's Headmaster."

"I was never too keen with formalities. You of all people, should know that."

"You should be thankful Almasy. Not everyone gets a second chance in life."

He shrugged. "Not like I wanted it."

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any worse, you come back as an asshole. You have no remorse in what you did, do you?" I clenched my fist tightly. Of all the people, why did he get a second chance in life?

"I'll make it up to you then." He grabbed my hand suddenly and pulled me onto the dance floor. In a swift motion, he put my hands on his shoulders and placed his arms around my waist, pulling me fearfully close to him.

"I don't want to dance with you!" I tried to push away from him, but his arms tightened around me. For a brief second I felt as if he could easily crush me in half, and just the fear of that stopped me from fighting his strength. With much reluctance, I danced the rest of the song with him.

"Don't worry. You'll enjoy this." He gave me a playful wink before he placed his lips onto mine.

I stood there appalled with eyes wide open from shock. He pulled away shortly after and disappeared through the crowds of people. I continued to just stand there. I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. To me, it felt so surreal, as if it was merely a dream: a dream that I couldn't forget.

Seifer Almasy. It was a name I couldn't forget. For seven days, he was the one person I could not stop thinking about. As much as I told myself that it had been just a dream, I couldn't find myself to believe it. The more I thought about it, the more I began to believe that I must have enjoyed that dance with him more than I should have. Why else would I keep thinking about that man?

For seven days, there wasn't a single sight of him. It seemed like a dream that only lasted in your memory. At least, that's what I tried telling myself until that one groggy morning.

"Good morning Trepe." He smirked at me as he leaned on the doorway to my dorm room.

As surprised and happy I was to see him there, I hid it all. "Almasy, how did you get in?" It sounded more like a demand than a question.

"You're happy to see me. Just admit it." He winked. "Come on let's go!" Again, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my room.

"Let go of me! I'm still in my pajamas and I haven't even showered yet!"

He laughed. "You sound vain Trepe. Besides, you look fine."

I fell into a daze after that. It was as if my life was a movie with the fast forward button pressed down. He took me to a small but beautiful coastal town. Everything that happened was like a dream.

The first thing we did was get me a new outfit. At first I was very stiff and agitated. Why did he bring me to this place? Was he concocting some sort of plan? What did he want to do with me? But it wasn't long until I loosened up and decided to stop worrying myself. I wanted to have fun. And Seifer Almasy showed me how to have fun again. I began to see a side that I never knew existed in him.

"Why did you take me here?" I finally built enough courage to ask as we sat in the sand, watching the sunset slowly.

"Do you like it here?"

"Yes."

"Then it doesn't matter why I took you here." He said as he leaned back with his arms outstretched in the sand.

We sat there quietly watching the sun fall into the dark horizon with the sound of the waves soothing the cool air. I hugged my knees tightly thinking about my life; everything that had gone wrong in the past, every mistake that I had made, every incorrect judgment I made. Everything I thought Seifer Almasy was had been proven wrong to me in a single day. It was then, that I realized how much of my life I had given up because of my presumptuous judgments. When I was little, I gave up my childhood to act as a motherly figure in the orphanage: they needed me like that... or so I told myself. When I was older, I gave my teenage life to become an instructor. I gave up all other options because being an instructor was a respectful and prestigious position. At least, that's what I thought. I gave up on all my students except Squall because he was the only one capable of great things... or so, I assumed. I gave up so many things...

"You're thinking too much." He said to me, as if reading me mind. "You need to relax more." He pulled me back so that my head rested on his chest. I could hear the steady beating of his heart, which caused mine to race. I suddenly felt embarrassed as my cheeks flushed red.

"You're so tense. You need to loosen up, Trepe." He rubbed my arm as if it would relax me.

The more he did that, the more embarrassed I was. I quickly blurted out something random to calm my nerves. "It's so beautiful!" The words rushed out of my mouth sounding stale and fake. I could only hope that he thought I was referring to the stars in the sky.

"I know."

I courageously tilted my head upwards to look at him, but to my surprise, I found him staring at me. I quickly looked back down, feeling my face warm up even more.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"I thought that's what we were talking about." Although his playful tone was meant for a joke, I still found myself embarrassed. I sat up and turned my head away from him, hoping that the darkness would hide my rosy cheeks.

"Oh come on. I was just joking. Here, I'll let you hit me." He took my arm and lightly swung my hand at his chest. "Ow. See, all better!"

I frowned slightly before I began flailing my hands at him playfully. But before I could hit him anymore, he grabbed me into his arms and pulled me down again. "Let's stay here for the rest of the night." He whispered into my ear.

"What?" I shouted a bit too loudly, but he took no heed to that.

"It's nice here." He paused slightly. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." His soft whispers made me tremble with pleasure.

Seifer Almasy. A person I never want to forget. He showed me how to live life, how to have fun, and most importantly, how to love someone. In a short time, he taught me how to love. I never imagined that was possible. I wasn't one who believed in love because I deemed it to be fickle. If 'love' came so shortly after getting to know someone, it couldn't possibly be true. But I was wrong, very wrong. I fell in love with Seifer Almasy, but I would never admit it.

"Quistis, do you like Seifer?" What began as a normal 'Girls Day Out' was anything BUT normal.

"What?" I don't know why I was so shocked about it. I knew people were clueing in that I was spending more time with Seifer, but I guess I was hoping no one would bring it up. Maybe I was embarrassed being with him, or maybe I was afraid people wouldn't like me if they knew the truth.

"Well," Rinoa continued. "You seem to be spending a lot of time with him lately. Rumours are going around that you're going out with him, Quistis! Of course whenever I hear that, I have to set them straight. I mean, why would you ever go out with THAT guy? You have better taste than that! And besides, you deserve a lot better, Quistis."

"You think so huh..." I mumbled, feeling guilty about spending time with Seifer.

"No, I KNOW so. Trust me Quistis, I know from experience. He's not worth it."

I swallowed, as if hiding my secret into the pit of my stomach. I really enjoyed spending time with Seifer, and I really did like him. But being scorned by my friends? I don't know if I was willing to risk that. I felt a lot of guilt. But I didn't know why.

"Hey Trepe." A familiar voice called to me.

Rinoa and I turned around to see Seifer approaching us. He grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards him. "Let's go." He always did that whenever we went out. He would never tell me where we're going or when. He would just suddenly appear, take my hand and lead me somewhere. I had never questioned him whenever he did that, in fact, I enjoyed the surprise, but today, it was different.

"Let go of me." I pulled my hand away roughly. "Why do you hold my hand like that? We're not even going out. I don't even want to go out with you Seifer. I don't even like you. The reason I was spending so much time with you was because I felt so sorry for you. But now, it's gone too far." The words just came out so quickly, I didn't even have time to think about what I said. But I knew immediately after, those weren't the words I wanted to say. I wanted to take them all back. I wanted to go along with him. I wanted to tell Rinoa that I didn't like him, I loved him. Most importantly, I wanted him to know that I loved him. But I didn't. No matter how horrible I felt after saying all those lies, I didn't take them back. I didn't even show my guilt.

He stood there silently. I could tell from the look of his eyes that he was hurt.

"Fine." His voice was so cold. But it felt like a hundred knives were stabbed into my heart. I wanted to apologize. I wanted so much to beg for forgiveness, but all I did was watch him walk away.

"Good job Quistis." Rinoa whispered to me. "You have to be brutally honest with these kind of guys. They won't take 'no' for an answer until you're really mean about it."

I desperately wanted to cry. I wasn't being honest to him at all. And now, the worse was yet to happen.

Seifer Almasy. Two words. A name. The one person I will never forget. The one I have so many things to say, but never did. He's the one who's about to walk away from my life because I pushed him out the door. Seifer Almasy.

"So you're leaving?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes." His voice was like acid that burned my soul.

I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I wanted to beg him to stay. I wanted him to be with me, to take care of me, to protect me. I wanted to stay by his side. I wanted him. But couldn't find myself to do it. Maybe he was right. I am vain.

"Is there anything else you wanted to say to me before I leave?" He asked, his back faced towards me. Now was my chance. Now was the time to let him know the truth.

"No."

He took a few steps forward before he stopped. A part of me was hoping that he would drop his stuff and hug me and tell me that he forgave me. Another part of me was hoping that I'd run up to him to hug and beg him to stay.

"You know, you were wrong Trepe. You're the one who has no remorse in what you did."

As I watched Seifer Almasy walk away from my life forever, I remembered all the mistakes I had made in my life. But the one thing I never made a mistake in was falling in love with Seifer Almasy.

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Author's Ramblings Continued:

I have to admit, my writing touch has deteriorated. It's not one of my better stories, but I'm working on it. So bear with me some more if you can )