"So, well, where do you think they are?', Kate asked trying to gauge how concerned Caroline actually was.
"I've got no idea! Nobody does, that's…" Caroline caught herself and soften her tone. "I'm sorry, Kate. I'm just wound up?"
"Course, it's all right," Kate realized she had adopted the conciliatory tone of hostage negotiator but she felt herself on uncertain ground in this very new relationship. Should she insist on driving out to be with her? Should she offer to watch the boys?
"I'm sure she's absolutely...She doesn't go out after dark, as a rule, though, that's the eyes aren't what they 'll be an explanation." Caroline said more to herself than Kate as she struggled to keep panic at bay.
"Listen, ring me if there's anything I can do. Or if you just want to talk to someone." That's the balance Kate thought, inviting, comforting, available but not pushy.
"What were you ringing me for?" Caroline asked suddenly aware she hadn't let Kate say more than hello before launching into a monologue about Gillian's overreacting.
"Oh! It doesn't seem so important. You said we should go away. For the weekend...together...somewhere...possibly," In for a penny, in for a pound thought Kate and plunged forward into the uncertainty. "And I wanted to know if you meant it, and if you did, if I should fix something up."
The pause seemed excruciatingly long and Kate only realized she was holding her breath when Caroline finally ask "Can we talk about it later?"
"Yeah, of course." Kate tried to keep tone light, not needy as she closed the computer on the Barcelona hotel she'd imagined them having their first trip away together."Listen, ring me if there's anything I can do. Or if you just want to talk to someone."
Why didn't I say me. If you want to talk to me.
Clearly with her mum and Alan missing Caroline was swinging rather wildly between her take-charge, everything-will-be-all-right mode and full-on, total panic. Best to give her room but Kate brought the phone to bed, made sure it was well-charged and hoped she'd hear from Caroline with good news soon. Or if you just want to talk..to someone.
Every since the late night visit from an apologetic but still reserved Celia, Kate and Caroline had begun, well you'd have to call it courting. Lunches three times a week. Dinner dates on as many nights. And they'd spend at least three nights a week together, usually at Kate's half the week with an occasional stay in Caroline's.
Kate's home was a refuge and this trip away felt like a moment that the final walls Caroline kept carefully in place might be breached.
The further from Caroline's house they were the better as far as Kate was concerned. John was a constant mopey presence and Lawrence didn't bother to hide his contempt.
Despite a certain tentativeness, a lingering at the closet door, Caroline was to Kate's mind surprisingly adventurous in bed. She flushed with the memory of Caroline slipping a scarf over Kate's eyes and pinning her hands over her head. "You aren't allowed to touch me. Just let me thoroughly enjoy your gorgeous body." The tenderness, the devotion, the teasing and the ecstasy of it all overwhelmed her anew. But now, in the stillness of the house Kate wondered if that had been a kind of closet too.
It was sometime after 3:47am - the last time she remembered checking the time - that Kate finally drifted off to sleep. The worry and growing annoyance no longer producing enough adrenaline to keep her awake.
She jerked upright with a gasp of panic as her alarm blared the phone died in the night? Had she missed Caroline's desperate or relieved news?
She fumbled beneath her pillow and felt relief and despair surge through her when the screen indicated no missed calls and no text messages at all.
The news couldn't be good, perhaps I should call, thought Kate as she brushed her teeth.
No, Caroline had been a bit sharp last night. Kate had invited her call and she hadn't. No need to come off as needy...again. No, she'd wait.
At least til half 10 before she hit number one on speed dial.