Title: Boxers Or Briefs?
Summary: It was a simple question. Too bad Vincent would rather not answer him.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warnings: Underpants talk, swears, smoking, general embarrassment... VERY short one-shot.
"Come on, Val!" the blonde pilot called out from the front of the Highwind, lips curled into a smirk around his cigarette. "It's a simple fuckin' question! Do ya wear boxers 'r briefs?"
"...That is none of your business," the leather-wearing man replied as red eyes glanced around the deck. Not only was the majority of Avalanche in the room; Yuffie having left so she would not witness the ground speeding past them; but a few members of the pilot's crew were also around. They at least had the decency to look like they were not eagerly listening in on the loud and mostly one-sided conversation, unlike his companions. The blonde's smirk grew as his blue eyes flicked over to the glaring brunette who appeared to be contemplating jumping off of the airship or killing everyone in the room.
"It's briefs," Cid commented as he continued to steer the airship, eyes looking back out at the roving landscape. "Got to be with all of the fuckin' leather yer wearin'."
"It's boxers," Cait Sith chimed in, furthering Vincent's embarrassment and amusement. He wondered how in the hell they had even gotten onto the topic of his choice of underwear. "Lad dinnu' want everything bound up! Look at his groin; the leatha' is all bunched and loose!" Blinking, the brunette refrained from looking down at his own crotch at the statement. Unfortunately for himself, he noticed that everyone else in the room did not have the same amount of retraint.
"Means fuckin' nothin'!" Cid snapped with a grin as he flew through the sky, smoke billowing out of his nostrils. "The man clearly likes wearin' clingy thin's an' his underpants ain't going to be any different!"
"His cape isn't tight an' bindin', lad!"
"...It's a cloak, not a cape," Vincent corrected, his comment going unnoticed as the pilot and robotic moogle continued to argue their points on the topic. Eventually the other people in the room decided to categorize themselves with either Cid or Cait Sith's sides, leaving Vincent the only one knowing the truth of the matter. Much to his dismay, most of his comrades, if he could call them such without being reminded of his own choice of undergarments from here on out, had sided with the blonde Captain. He did make rather interesting points and quickly swayed people to his side, unlike the moogle who, even though he had been around himself longer than the pilot had, made very little assumptions based upon his appearance and mannerisms. It was as if the robotic feline was either not as attentive as the blonde was or simply did not want to make such bold leaps in assuming things about someone that he was unsure of.
Rolling his eyes, the brunette stalked out of the room as everyone continued to bicker amongst themselves. Honestly, the world had a great chance of ending due to the large meteor barreling towards the planet and the group that was working to stop Sephiroth and Meteor was more interested in what he was wearing underneath his leather pants. Heading back into the room that the pilot had assigned to him, the brunette sat down on the lush bed before leaning back against the wall and relaxing, one of his legs pulled up while the other lied straight.
He could have simply answered Cid's deeply personal question, but that would make the both of them wrong and he did not have the heart to crush them when the pilot was obviously very astute. Besides, it would be difficult explaining all of the prying questions about why he chooses not to wear undergarments and what he does about zippers.
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