Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Here's just a fun little story that a came up when CeeCee333 and I were having fun with. It's my second completely AU story. Just a bit of humor, a pinch of smut, and some CM pairings! This is sorta my first official Hotch/Prentiss story, too. I allude to them in my story, Silver Lining, but this one has a serious focus on them. Hope you enjoy :)

Hotch

If anyone would have asked Aaron Hotchner if he'd ever considered he would be a cook in a bar, he would have scoffed at them. It was a last resort for him to pay off his insane student loans from his undergraduate degree. He wanted to go to graduate school, but at this point he couldn't possibly afford it.

So here he was, cooking at a bar. Albeit it a successful bar. And his employer and fellow employees were like family to him. At least there was something positive about his experience.

As he set his messenger bag in his locker, he pulled his iPod out of one of the pockets and shoved the earbuds into his ears. No one had ordered food yet, even though the bar was buzzing slightly earlier than usual, the way it always did on the iconic karaoke night.

Sighing, he headed into his kitchen and turned on his stoves. At least he was going to be getting to do work to keep himself occupied that evening. It would keep him from commiserating in silence about his tiring life that consisted of nothing but work, no love life, and his special chicken wings everyone in town loved.

"Hey, Hotch," Derek Morgan called. "What's up, man?"

He looked up through the wide window where he had a marginal view of the bar and the activities going on in it. The joking bartender, Morgan, who Hotch had taken awhile to understand, was pouring a beer from the tap into a pitcher.

"Eh, not much," Hotch replied.

"Smile, Hotch! It's karaoke night!"

Hotch's attention was torn from Morgan to the other bartender, Emily Prentiss. She was pulling a liquor bottle up and adding it to a tumbler of ice to begin mixing a drink. Her perfectly white teeth sparkled. She was wearing skin-tight black slacks and a patterned halter top, wooden tribal-style earrings hanging from her ears.

The sight of her made Hotch's heart beat at a faster tempo.

Emily was the most beautiful girl in the world to him. She brought a certain air of delight to the room when she entered, and her biting wit made him crack a rare smile. Even when he didn't show a smile on his face, a smile entered his mind.

However, she had a relaitonship with the customers that he was envious of. They brought out the fun in her and made her throw back her head in laughter. He wanted that with her.

Unfortunately for him, he just wasn't that fun.

Emily

"There ya go, Handsome," Emily said to the customer whose drink she'd just finished mixing. She winked at him. "My specialty."

He winked right back. "Gorgeous, you are the light of my life right now," he said, raising his drink to salute her. He tossed a few dollar bills on the counter for her. "I'm gonna get as wasted as possible and get up there and sing a drunken ballad."

"Sing one for me," she laughed, sticking the bills in her smock.

As he walked off in the direction of the karaoke machine that Spencer Reid was firing up, Emily went to gather more clean glasses from the kitchen. "Morgan, handle the bar for me while I go get glasses," she called before disappearing into the kitchen. Briefly she heard her fellow bartender's response.

When she went to the dishwasher, the smell of spice and warm tangy barbecue sauce assaulted her nose in a pleasant way. She inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of Aaron Hotchner's famous wings. Sometimes she wondered if the only reason customers came in was for those chicken wings.

In fact, of that she was positive. Certain Yelp reviews raved about them, and only them.

Halting in the process of picking up mugs, she went around to the ovens where Hotch had his headphones in and was bobbing his head to the music. It was too loud, and the sounds of Bob Marley could be heard mixing with the sizzling of the pans. Her lips quirked into a smile, and she went to put her hand on his shoulder.

He jumped slightly and whirled his head to see who had touched him. She laughed and leaned agains the steel countertop beside the stove. "What's up?" she asked, punching his arm lightly. "You're unnaturally…grim today."

The expression on his face wasn't altered, even by her attempt at a joke. Even more concerning to her was the silence.

Nervously, she laughed. He wasn't very responsive to her in general, and it hurt her somewhat. She tried to tell herself it was the way he was with all people, but deep inside she knew it wasn't the same. There was a certain standoffish element to their interactions.

It was abundantly clear he didn't like her.

Which was too bad, considering she liked him. She liked him very much.

"Uh, hi," he mumbled, looking back at the wings in his pan.

When he didn't say more, she cleared her throat. "So….what's going on?" she asked.

"Um, not much," he said, flipping a wing over to cook the other side of it.

"Smells good," she said, trying to change the intonation of her voice from disappointed to conversational. "You, uh, you doing anything different to them?"

Lips twitching, he shook his head. "Nope," he answered. "Same old, same old." Scratching his head, he averted his eyes and coughed. "Did you need something?"

Downcast, Emily shook her head. "Oh," she said in a small voice. Plastering a grin on her face, she waved awkwardly. "Well, I guess I'll see you later. I'm just saying hi."

He waved back. "Okay."

She turned around and trotted off, going to get the glasses she needed to serve her valued customers their drinks.

Morgan

Derek Morgan was accustomed to women flirting with him. He was completely and totally aware of the effect he had on them. However most of them were one in the same to him. Although there was one lady in particular who was different than every single woman he ever encountered.

Flirting with women was fun, but flirting with Penelope Garcia was exhilarating.

That one woman was standing across the room, leaning on a table as she listened to a table of men's drink orders. Her ruby red lips were spread into a grin, her brown eyes glittering as she jotted down the drinks. The sight of her was completely arousing; her usual attire to work was a low cut shirt paired with a miniskirt, fishnets, and high heels. Large flowers often adorned her honey blonde waves, whether they were up out of her way or cascading down her back.

Not only was it arousing, but it caused other men to look at her, and that made him jealous. In some ways that made her even more desirable.

He could hardly wait to squeeze the soft flesh of her breasts in his hands when last call was yelled out.

It wasn't as if their relationship was anything serious; it was anything but that. Penelope called him her "fuck buddy." He had no idea if she was sleeping with anyone else — he thought about sleeping with another woman sometimes just to see her reaction, but he couldn't get past the fact none of them were her — but he knew if he found another man she was sleeping with, he might "accidentally" slip rat poison in his drink.

As she turned around with a laugh from the table, she swished her hips seductively. The men at the table whistled and gazed at her retreating ass with ravenous eyes. Their eyes made rage boil within Derek, and he felt the fierce desire to punch each and everyone of them in both eyes until they were swollen like eggplants to the point they wouldn't be able to see any part of Penelope.

Penelope reached the bar and leaned against it right in front of Derek. Her breasts that were on display were fully within his view, and his mouth started watering.

However, he was so jealous he merely glared at her. She simply smiled and blinked innocently, batting her soft lashes. "Problem, Morgan?" she chirped in a sing-song voice.

Gritting his teeth, he shook his head. "Nothing at all," he growled, not taking his eyes from hers. He continued staring at her, not blinking once.

Penelope smirked. "Gonna take my drink orders? Time's a wastin'."

Seething with the green snake of jealousy, Derek hissed, "Absolutely."

Penelope

When Derek's Morgan's eyes lit up with a fiery rage, Penelope knew she would never feel more sexy. His gaze lit a fire in her, raising her nipples to the point it showed through her shirt and made other men stare at her breasts as she served their drinks or food. And when it fueled his jealousy, it fueled her arousal.

She wasn't interested in any other man's gaze, but their flirting and her reciprocated teases made Derek near rabid. It was as if he would start foaming at the mouth, solely because of the jealousy.

It wasn't as if he didn't flirt with other women, either. And it wasn't as if she became jealous right back. The fawning women who touched him, whose hands tried to travel up his sculpted chest when he came around the bar. Penelope didn't take particularly kind to it.

In the end she knew she was the special one, though. He may have only been her lover, the location they had their voracious sex in may have consisted (almost) exclusively may have been a bathroom where anyone might find out, but she knew for a fact he wasn't sleeping with anyone but her. His appetite for her was insatiable.

But what truly gave her confirmation of her status as the most important woman in his life was what he told her. When they were wrestling with each other for who was in control, he would lean close to her face, his breath hot against her cheeks, and whisper, "I'm gonna marry you someday."

Each and every time he told her, she would throw her head back and give a hearty laugh, deep and husky in her throat. "Not a chance," she would reply before demanding he fuck her. Still, despite her answer each time, it felt good to hear the words from his lips. It made her feel like she was hypnotizing him, keeping him within her grasp at all times.

As Derek got the drinks for her that the large party of men had ordered, he stared at her, his obsidian eyes boring into her and threatening to melt her to a puddle. She smiled coyly.

"Something wrong, Chocolate Thunder?" she purred. "You're looking a little…tense." She laughed at the expression that flashed across his face. "You look like you need a way to cool off and relax."

He didn't respond. He just placed the beers on the counter where she proceeded to put them on her tray. "Oh, don't pout, you beautiful man," she said, sticking out her lower lip. "You'll find a way of loosening up those stiff muscles. I know you will."

And with that, she walked off, fully intent on turning up the heat of his jealousy.

Her relationship with Derek Morgan may have consisted of nothing but being fuck buddies, but one thing she was certain of was jealousy led to fiery, passionate, rough sex that she couldn't get enough of.

Dave

David Rossi prided himself on having a good business repertoire: he had a loyal staff who felt like family, a great location, and a cook who made the best damn chicken wings in town. It was safe to say he had one of the better jobs in the world.

He loved Bella Erin's. It was the perfect bar.

Just like his star-crossed lover for which it was named after.

He stared at his bar, filled with customers who were there for his famous monthly karaoke night. With hands in his pockets, he observed all his staff doing their jobs. Hotch was jamming away at the grill to fill out orders, JJ and Penelope were pleasing the customers, and Derek and Emily were getting out the drinks at an efficient pace. He smiled with pride.

As he sat at his bar, quietly observing, Emily slid over to him. "You wanna hand me that glass so I can refill your scotch?" she asked, arching a brow.

He turned to his bartender and nodded appreciatively. "Sure thing, bella," he said, handing the tumbler over.

Emily filled his glass, and as the amber liquid was flowing into the glass, she asked, "So…is the Missus dropping by tonight?"

He stared at his drink as it was handed back to him. "Nah," he said. "I don't see it happening."

When he thought about it, he didn't mind so much. Erin Strauss operated on Erin Strauss' time. It wasn't his place to try and change that.