I hope you guys like my new story, Please review

Everyone is different. Some people thrive off of lust, some off of desire, and some off of fear. Is there a reason that when you stand on the edge of a high balcony that you take a step back? Is it because you're afraid of falling? Or is it that you're afraid you're going to want to jump?

Why are these things always in my head? These strange questions, these odd things I think up? Is that the reason I'm here? I look out the window, scratching my head. I don't remember… then someone interrupts my thoughts

"Edward, honey it's time to take your medication" a soft, almost caring voice said from behind me. "Here" she said, handing me a small white Dixie cup that contains a few little pills

"Thank you Angela" I said in a whisper, my voice dry from crying earlier

"Hey would you like some water?" she said placing a hand on my shoulder, and I nod

Angela is one of the only people in staff who don't treat me like I'm fucking crazy. Even though I am. I know it and everyone here knows it. She just makes me feel normal, which is a nice change

"Is your throat sore?" she asked, handing me a cup of water

I took a sip of the water she handed me and then put it down, looking back out the window. "No"

"Edward" she sighed, tilting her head to the side, studying me. "I know you've been feeling especially down lately, why?"

I looked at the ground. How could she be asking me this? Everyone here is crazy including me. I've been told so enough from the doctors. Clasped my eyes shut and tightened my fist. "You just don't get it do you? They treat us like we're worth nothing Angela, like we'll never get better. Like… like we really were better off dead."

I opened my eyes to see her tearing up and pulling me into her arms. "Edward you're not better off dead. Your family is so thankful that you're not! And I know you regret even trying…"

I cut her off this time. "Angela. I wanted to die. I still do. And nothing. I mean NOTHING. Will change that."

She wiped away her tears and looked up "That's fine, but don't expect me to sit around watching you like this" and then she was gone. The only one who didn't treat me like shit was gone

. . . . .

"Now Edward, did you have a relationship before the 'incident'?" I rolled my eyes at the fucking stupid psychiatrist, 'Dr. Black'

"No I didn't, now is that really relevant?" I asked squinting my eyes at him

"When was your last relationship?" he asked ignoring my question, as usual

"It was about two years ago I think" remembering back when things were so care free

"Your parents say different" he replied skeptically "Are you lying to me?"

You've got to be kidding me! "Yes" I started flatly, "I am lying about being with someone two years ago to impress you and the rest of the crazy nut cases in this dump! That's totally it!" I took a breath and calmed down a little. "I was in a relationship two years ago, my parents just didn't know about it"

"What was her name and why did you two depart from one another?" I roll my eyes, he makes it sound like we're talking about planes not people

"his, name was Jasper" I said in an amused tone. He thought I had a girlfriend? That's real funny!

He looked at me in shock, like I had two fucking heads. "A boyfriend?" he said confused

I nodded "Correct" I said to him like he was a five year old that just caught on

"So your gay?" he said still confused

"Yes?" I paused and then got why he was confused, "My parents don't know thought, and I'd prefer to tell them myself one day, not by a doctor"

He nodded, seeming to understand, "Do you think they would accept you?" he asked quickly

"No"

"Why do you feel that way?" he asked surprised. I wanted to kill him sometimes. It's not like any of this is his business!

"Look, I had a friend who came out, when I told my parents what team he played for they wanted me to stay away from him. They thought he would 'Corrupt" me. Make me a 'fag'" I said cringing at the words as they left my mouth

"I see" he said, writing all of it down

"How did you two split up?" he asked, still writing things down. "You know, you were found about two years ago, did the 'incident' have something to do with him? Your breakup?"

I cringed and looked down. "He told me he loved me, we only went out about 4 months, heck we didn't even have sex , his idea of course, he wanted to know everything about me first…" I paused thinking about him. He was so beautiful.

"What did he look like?" he asked writing like a mad man

A faint smile painted my mouth as my eyes rested into oblivion, "He had the most alluring dirty blonde hair and shining blue orb eyes to match, and an accent that just made everyone melt"

"What kind of accent son?" he said, setting his pen and paper down, flashing me a proud smile

"A southern accent" I sighed, "and he had glowing tanned skin" I looked up to find him almost in tears. What did I do this time?

"Are you alright?" I asked knitting my brows

He just smiled softly and sighed, "Son, I'm proud you've finally let us in a little"

"If I corporate, things will actually go a lot smoother… won't they? People always say that's the case, but I've never found it true until now.

"Yes, Edward if you tell us your story, even bits and pieces, you could get out for good. I'd like to see that happen my boy" he said with a pat on my back, "You can go now, see you tomorrow"

I hope you guys liked it! it just kind of came to me, new update VERY soon