Ever since Peeta's confession in the interviews, I had blocked a thought from my mind. That I could feel the same way for him. It seemed too dangerous to ponder on. If I did have the same feelings, I couldn't become the victor if we were the only two remaining. Only one tribute survives. I didn't need any guilt if I won.
I tried to avoid Peeta completely, only occasionally spending time with him to make the romance seem more realistic. It was a way to get sponsors. All my actions were for my own survival in the Games. The one time I was around him without pretending to be in love, was when he told me that he wanted to die as himself, to not be a piece of their games. I couldn't understand his revelation until Rue's death.
The enemy wasn't the tributes, it was the Capitol itself. The Capitol didn't deserve a victor, another piece of their games. When the announcement was made about two victors, I knew there was a chance I could get Peeta home safely.
I didn't trust Peeta at first. He joined the Careers. His confession was most likely false, a way to survive. The day I ambushed the Careers by dropping the tracker jacker nest, he possibly saved me. Or it could have been a hallucination from the venom.
All this time, I believed the kisses; the times in the cave were just for the camera. Since the day he tossed the burnt bread at me, I had been in love with him. I had buried my feelings under thoughts of survival, and they slowly rose to the surface after I learned of the rule change.
Peeta asked me if I loved him. Feelings from the day in the rain spilled out of my mouth. I told him the truth; I said real. A handful of berries hadn't started the rebellion, my love for Peeta had. After all this time, my love for him was real.