Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. It'd be an awesome Christmas present, but not even Santa can grant that wish.

Where are you Christmas?

Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

~Faith Hill

(Bella's POV)

It was a cool December morning here in Forks. A fresh blanket of white snow covered the ground and the wind was blowing wildly.

I was currently in my spot by the window with my cheek pressed against the cool glass. A nice warm cup of tea was in my hands as I observed our lawn. There was a deflated snowman in one corner of the yard and a deflated snow globe of Santa and Rudolph in the other. There was also light up reindeers all over the place. All of the decorations were curtsey of my elder brother.

I couldn't believe it wasChristmas already. Where did the time go? It seemed like yesterday we were handing out candy for Halloween and setting up the slip and slide for the yearly summer barbecue.

Part of me couldn't wait for the holidays to come already. I always loved everything about them. The decorations, the family get togethers, the snow (even though I hate the cold), and the warm fuzzy feelings you get from the holiday.

But for some reason this Christmas doesn't seem as special as the others. Maybe it's because my husband won't be here this year.

My husband, Sargent Edward Cullen, has been overseas for the past year and he won't be coming home for Christmas this year.

His time in the military is almost up though. He should be home for good in about three months. He tried to pull some strings to see if he could come home for the holidays, but it looks like they aren't allowing him this year.

I met Edward Cullen when we were in High School. Before him it seemed like my life was dark and miserable. I know it sounds very dramatic and slightly needy, but it's true. My life wasn't really perfect to begin with. He made it much more brighter.

My parents divorced when I was five, causing my big brother, Emmett, and I to take part in a huge custody battle. My mom won and ended up taking the two of us to Phoenix with her.

Even though I loved the warmth of the sunny state, nothing about it seemed like home. We barley saw our dad and our mom was always working. Plus Renee was going through a slight depression at the time. We had to move in with Grandma Marie and she took care of Emmett and I for most of our lives until her death when I was about twelve. After that we were pretty much on our own.

Renee was a great mother though and I did love her, but she just didn't act like a mother. She was more of a best friend and a sister. I didn't know what motherly affections were entirely like until I met Edward's mother, Esme.

But all in all, I loved Renee very much. She was my partner in crime and best friend.

I ended up losing my best friend when I was fourteen when she got into a car accident.

My mother died right on the spot. When I learned the news, I was devastated. I couldn't sleep or eat for weeks. Plus we had to move to Forks to be with our only living guardian, Charlie. I did miss Charlie and Forks, but the move wasn't a good idea since I was still depressed. Emmett was getting really worried about me and so was Charlie.

Then on the first day of high school things seemed to turn for the better. That's when Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale approached me in homeroom.

Alice Cullen is very small with spiky black hair and bright green eyes. She's a major fashionista and the most energetic girl you'll ever meet. When I first met her I thought she drank too much caffeine or something, but in reality she was just excited to meet me. Apparently she told Rose that day she had a 'feeling' they'd make a new friend.

Rosalie Hale is a tall blonde with violet blue eyes and is absolutely drop dead gorgeous. She's one fierce girl and if you insult her or her family and friends, she won't hesitate to rip you to shreds. She's one protective and loyal girl.

Alice and Rose would become the two sisters I never had. They would protect and stand by my side from then on, and I'd do the same.

They showed some form of kindness to me the day we met. Most of the other kids were getting on my nerves, trying to get buddy-buddy with me. But for some reason, these two girls didn't seem to annoy me.

From there they invited me to their lunch table where I met Rosalie's elder brother, Jasper, a blonde look alike of Rose with hazel eyes. He was in Emmett's grade, a year above us, and was a complete history geek. He loved everything about the Civil War and he slowly became another brother to me.

Then I met the Edward Cullen, Alice's twin brother.

Edward was the school's most wanted boy. Every single girl wanted to date him and every boy wanted to be him. He was nothing but pure perfection. He looked, and still does, like Adonis himself. His perfectly tousled bronze hair and emerald christmas green eyes made him the epiphany of perfection. He was also captain of the football team, baseball team, debate team, and the school's best musician; making him the perfect guy.

The Cullen family in general was the most well known family in all of Forks. Carlisle Cullen, Edward and Alice's father, was the best doctor in the region and their mother, Esme Cullen, was a famous fashion designer in her day. Nowadays she has a small business for planning weddings, but she still dabbles in fashion when Alice needs help at her boutique.

Well, Edward Cullen took a liking to me and sooner than I knew, we would become best friends.

Edward and I became inseparable. We would always hang out with one another and spend any moment we had with each other.

I admit I had a small crush on him at first, but soon as the years past that silly little crush would begin to turn into love. He would become my whole world. The only problem was I didn't know if I could ever tell him. Girls in our school would do anything just to get a simple wave or hello from him. It was hopeless in my case. He could have any girl he wanted. Why would he want me? His lame old friend.

Everything changed for us in junior year. Rose and Emmett were a couple and so were Alice and Jasper, leaving Edward and I out of the loop. I ended up spending more time with him than ever since the rest of our friends were out on dates with each other.

Then came the winter dance, the night that would change everything.

I had gone alone, obviously, and didn't know that, that night would be the night I would tell Edward Cullen how I really felt about him.

It was the high school's annual winter dance, the dance that would kick off the holiday break. Everyone in the high school would be there. It was the last bash of the year that everyone wanted to take part in. It was almost as big as prom.

Alice had dressed me up that night in an emerald green dress with spaghetti straps and sliver ballet flats. She did a damn good job at dressing me for the dance. I normally didn't like it when she played 'dress up' with me, but tonight was an exception.

I was currently sitting at a table, alone, while I watched all my friends dance with their dates. My brother had Rose in his arms and Alice was in Jasper's, while I sat on the sidelines.

One reason why I was sitting alone at a table was because I didn't like dancing and the other was because had no date to the dance.

I turned my head to see Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley as they tried to get Edward to dance with one of them. They were clinging to him as if he was the last man on earth.

Desperate much? I thought to myself. They were the biggest whores in the school and my least favorite people.

"Hey, Bella," I heard the voice of Mike Newton pierce my ears.

Oh god, here we go again.

This boy has had a crush on me ever since I could remember. He was like an irritating fly that would never leave me alone. He has been trying to go on a date with me since I moved to Forks.

"I was wondering if you wanted to dance?" he asked as he approached me. Mike held out his clammy gross hand towards me, but I gently pushed it away.

"No thanks, Mike. I'm good."

"Why not? You think you're too good for me!" He huffed in annoyance.

"I just don't want to," I snapped at him, clearly irritated.

"Oh well, I'd think about it if I were you. You know where you can find me if you change your mind," he said, doing a little dance, which I rolled my eyes at. This boy had to be the most annoying person on this entire planet, right next to Jessica and Lauren.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I muttered sarcastically, glaring at him. He just huffed and stormed away from me.

I didn't take long for Mike to begin pestering another girl. He was such the man whore.

After watching the millionth dance of the night, I was getting tired. I didn't want to be here anymore. The rest of my friends were enjoying themselves and I had no clue where Edward was.

There weren't many dances left anyway. The dances ends in about an hour. I just had to survive until then, or maybe steal Em's car keys.

I was close to falling asleep on that table until Alice came bouncing over to me. She was in a sparkly ice blue dress and it looked like something the sugar plum fairy herself would wear. Alice even had specks of glitter in her spiky hair.

"Dance with him," Alice demanded, grabbing my hand.

"Who?" I questioned in confusion, raising my eyebrows.

"Edward, of course." she giggled.

Alice and Rosalie have known for a very long time I have had a crush on her brother. I confessed to them at a sleepover at Rose's house awhile back. I don't know what happened that night, but it just slipped.

"I don't know..."

"Oh, come on," Alice said, rolling her eyes. She pulled me up with a bunch of force, which sort of surprised me. I know Alice was a strong girl, but her strength sure did surprise me.

I was so close to killing Alice as she then dragged me all the way over to Edward. In the end though, I was so thankful that she did because I would have never had enough courage to do it myself.

Alice made sure to push Jessica and Lauren away from Edward when we reached him, shooting them daggers as she stood in front of the two of us.

Lauren and Jessica, both terrified of Alice and Rose, scurried away and went to look for another boy to gape at.

"Dance," Alice ordered with a giggle as she pushed me right into Edward's chest. I almost fell down if Edward didn't catch me in time.

"Alice!" I hissed at her.

My best friend just simply giggled as she pranced away to Jasper.

I groaned as I then turned around to face Edward. His emerald green eyes seemed to sparkle even more than they normally do that night.

Edward looked absolutely handsome in his tux. His hair was perfectly tousled as well. Esme wanted him to put his hair back, but I mentioned he shouldn't keep it tame. It looked better messy. It looks like he took my advice.

"May I have this dance Miss Swan?" he asked me. I blushed furiously.

"Edward, I don't know how to," I admitted to him.

"It's easy. Come on, I'll help you," he said, holding his hand out towards me. I hesitated as he looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please, Bella."

"Alright," I finally replied. "Only for you, Mr. Cullen."

That made him chuckle. He then took my hands in his and pulled me closer to him. I blushed as he then began to sway with me back and forth to the melody of the music. The song was Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, sung by Frank Sinatra. Kind of ironic since Edward and I were both pretty big fans of him.

"Bella, you look so beautiful tonight," Edward whispered in my ear. I could feel the hairs on my neck stand up as his warm breath hit my skin. A smile started to make it's way on my face and my heart rate began to quicken.

"Thanks, you look very handsome yourself," I teased with him. He chuckled as he then twirled me around.

"Thanks, but I think you're much more attractive," He said softly. I felt myself flush as I looked up at him. From there we couldn't stop staring at one another. His green orbs just bore into my brown.

"Bella, there is something I should tell you," Edward told me after a few moments of silence.

"What?" I asked, getting nervous. What if he didn't want to be friends anymore? What if this is the end of us?

So many questions raced through my head.

Edward took a deep breath before taking my hands in his and held them close to his chest, close to his thundering heart.

"Isabella Swan...I am in love with you."

When I heard those words, I didn't know what to say. I felt like time itself had stopped. My heart began to pound my ears as I looked up to him. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream.

"I am sorry if it was quick and sudden but-"

"I love you too," I whispered right away. "I always have."

Edward sighed in relief as he then picked me up in his arms and held me tight. I felt the tears of joy leak out of my eyes as I gripped onto him with all the force I had in my body.

"God, I love you. I love you so much," He said over and over again.

"I know. I love you too." I made out through a bunch of tears.

When we pulled away it wasn't long before our lips met. They seemed to mold perfectly together. His hands holding tight to my waist and my hands gripping to his messy hair.

We both had pulled away breathlessly, smiling. From there Edward took me in his arms and I rested my head on his chest, swaying to the melody of the music. For the rest of the night we danced with one another until we couldn't dance anymore.

And to this day I'm pretty sure Alice was cheering in the background when we kissed.

We both stayed with one another after High School. In fact we both got married young, twenty years old to be exact. It was slightly surprising, but I think I knew Edward was going to propose once he had the chance.

He ended up proposing on the Forth of July. It was pretty creative since he got a bunch of fireworks to spell out Will You Marry Me Bella? With the sound of the lullaby he wrote for me in the background.

We were all having a barbecue at the Cullen's at the time and all of our family and friends were there.

The moment I saw what the fireworks in the sky said, I turned to Edward, who was down on one knee with a large sparkling ring that once belonged to his great-grandmother, Elizabeth.

From there, I think it's pretty obvious what happened.

Our wedding took place in December, on the same day the dance was. It was outside and it happened to snow that day. We didn't care and we made sure the wedding went on, rain or shine. Alice was my maid of honor and Emmett was Edward's best man.

We honeymooned in Brazil and from there moved back to Washington where we began to start out lives together.

About two years later I got pregnant. I told Edward on Christmas morning. I had found out a a week before and made sure to confirm that I truly was pregnant.

The only person who knew was Rose since she helped me out find out if I was 100% sure I was pregnant.

I could still clearly remember Edward's reaction to finding out he was going to be a daddy.

I was nervously tapping my fingers on my knee. The whole family was gathered around in our living room, ready to begin the holiday with the exchanging of presents. Edward and I had taken the responsibility that year to host the family Christmas party.

Emmett and Rose just got married the previous year and Rose recently gave birth to twins, a boy and girl, Henry Charles and Danielle Renee.

Henry had Rose's blonde hair like his mother, but he had brown eyes like his father. Danielle had the curly Swan hair, but it was blonde like her mother's. Danielle also had brown eyes as well.

They were the first children born into the Swan-Cullen family, and everyone adored them. Little did they know they were going to have a playmate in a few months.

Alice and Jasper also had news as well that year. During Thanksgiving Jasper had gotten down on one knee and proposed to Alice in front of the whole family. We were all shocked, Alice especially, since we thought the two wouldn't get married for a long time.

The whole family was currently gathered around the tree, passing their presents around. I was just anxiously waiting for Edward to come across my present.

Finally, Edward picked up the green gift I wrapped with the big old red ribbon tying it all together.

"I hope you like it," I told him, my voice slightly shaky.

"I'm sure whatever it is, I'll love it." Edward smiled as he went to carefully tear the paper.

Rose looked at me with a huge grin on her face and gave me a thumbs up. I chuckled nervously as I looked at Edward.

When he opened it up, he starred at the gift for a few minutes. I began to get even more nervous as he held it up to the light.

I was so close to crying, thinking he was about to get angry. That was until I saw the sparkle in his eyes.

"Bella, is this for real?" He asked slowly, holding up the framed photo of our peanut.

"Yeah. Merry Christmas," I said, my eyes pricking with tears.

"Oh, Bella." Edward breathed. He dashed over to me and picked me up in his arms, spinning me around. "This is wonderful."

"So you're happy?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Of course I am," He said. "How can I not be happy." He then gave me a fierce kiss, holding me close to him.

"What is it?" Alice asked. "Bella, why did you give him a..."

"Give him a what?" Emmett questioned, raising an eyebrow as he bounced Danielle on his lap.

"A sonogram. I'm pregnant!" I exclaimed.

"I'm going to be a GRANDMA!" Esme cried out, hugging Edward and I with a bunch of force. We chuckled as everyone in the family cheered and ran over to hug us.

That night we laid in bed together, snuggling with one another. Then all of a sudden Edward bent down to my flat stomach and started to whisper loving words to the baby.

I knew from that moment he was going to be the world's best daddy.

Nine months later I went into labor. I was in there for a good couple of hours until our little bundle of joy was born.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen was born two days before my birthday and weighed seven pounds, three ounces. She was pure perfection.

I remember the moment she was placed in my arms and looked at her, I saw the face of an angel. She had my brown eyes and Edward's bronze hair, but the Swan curls. She was the most beautiful thing I ever saw in my life.

I remember when Edward was handed her he was so scared he'd drop her. But the moment she was placed in his arms he vowed he'd never let anything hurt her.

Renesmee, five years later, is still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Of course she's not a baby anymore, but she'll always be my baby. She's in kindergarten now and likes to be called 'Nessie' much to my dismay. Her best friend, Jacob Black, gave her the nickname. The two met in preschool and he thought her name was a mouthful, so he began to call her Nessie. It was cute at first, but personally I didn't like the thought of my daughter being nicknamed after the loch ness monster. Next thing you know the whole family was calling Renesmee 'Ness' or 'Nessie'. Even I've let it slip a few times.

Renesmee is pretty 50/50 when it comes to who she's the most like personality wise. She's stubborn and shy like me, and has my love of books. But, she inherited her father's love for the piano and music. When she was just two years old it didn't take long for her to start playing things on the piano. Edward even wrote Renesmee a lullaby like he did for me. It's something that has helped both of us go to sleep. His humming was always something that could calm the both of us down right away.

When Renesmee was a baby the only way to get her to go to sleep was Edward's humming. She's always been a big Daddy's girl. After all, I was one too when it came to my dad.

I smiled at the memory and looked at my wedding ring. Edward was everything to me, and when he told me he was joining the military, I was pretty upset.

I knew he wanted to join it for a long time, but I just wish sometimes he choose a different path. I am so proud of him, don't get me wrong. What he does is something very brave. He is risking his life for our country. It's just, I miss him...a lot. Him and Renesmee are my world, my life. If I lose him, everything will fall to pieces.

I thought back to the last time I saw him. It was almost a year ago. He was on leave for a week. Edward, Renesmee, and I spent every single last waking moment with one another, but time goes by so fast. Soon we were dropping him off at the airport, watching in agony as he left on that plane.

I held my breath and my pain in as I saw my husband say goodbye to Renesmee. He cradled her close to him as he buried his face in her big bronze curls. She was crying in his arms and gripping onto Edward as if her life depended on it. I knew she was going to miss her Daddy.

Once he was done saying goodbye to Renesmee he placed her in Esme's arms painfully before coming over to me. I had tears streaming down my face and I could feel myself beginning to tremble. I didn't want him to go. He needed to be home with Renesmee and I, not miles and miles away from us.

"Shhh love, don't cry." he went to cup my face, wiping the tears with his thumbs.

"I'm going to miss you." I sobbed violently.

"Me too baby, but look I'll be back before you know it."

"I'm scared though, you're going to be in danger all the time-"

"Bella, you will not lose me," he told me firmly, cradling my face in his gentle hands. "I'm going to fight. You and Renesmee are my reasons to fight. I won't give up and I'll come home to you baby. I promise."

"Just remember that I love you, never forget that," I told him through a sob. He simply nodded as he brushed my hair with one hand.

"I love you too Bella, forever." he leaned down to kiss me passionately. It was our last kiss before he made his way onto the plane.

I just stayed there for the longest time with Renesmee curled up in my arms, staring at the door he left through.

I sighed at that memory. I will always have the thought of him in trouble floating around in my head. I am just worried; worried of the unknown. I fear Edward will never return to me. I worry he'll never be in my arms again. I fear that his warm arms will never warp around me or I'll never hear the sound of his heart beating again. Or I will never hear his velvet voice telling me that he loves me.

I turned to look at our tree in the living room. It was beautifully decorated by Renesmee and I. There was one ornament that stood out the most. It's a red, white, and blue striped ornament with a photo in it. The photo was of Edward and I with Renesmee right before he was shipped off. He was in his uniform with the Renesmee and I hugging tight to him. You could tell by our faces we didn't want him to leave.

I just hope Edward comes home soon. I just want him to fulfill his promise.

I sighed as I tried to concentrate on other things. I had the big Christmas party to think about.

Edward and I still host the family Christmas party every year. I'm doing it alone all this year, and so far everything is going smoothly. Everyone is brining what they told me they were and I had all the food and presents ready. It should be a really good Christmas, too bad Edward won't be here.

"Momma!" I heard Renesmee cry out. I smiled hearing her musical little voice echo throughout the home.

My little daughter came moments later, waddling in. I noticed she was having trouble getting her head through her shirt.

"Momma, I need help." Renesmee pouted, motioning to her problem. I chuckled as I go down to help her slip on the shirt.

"Momma, I sent my letter to Santa at Aunt Rosie and Unca Emmy's yesterday!" she exclaimed as I went to put her winter coat and brown boats on as well.

Since I'm basically a single parents while Edward is gone I am going back and forth with my job at Port Angeles. I'm an editor for the newspaper and I really do love my job there. It's just I don't get out of work until an hour after she gets out of school. So, normally either my brother, or whatever relative that is a available, will take her.

Renesmee loves to go over her Aunt and Uncle's houses. Danielle and Henry, who are now six, are like elder siblings to Renesmee. Danielle or 'Dani' has taken Renesmee under her wing while Henry loves to goof around with his little cousin.

Dani is very much like Rose, fierce and protective, with soft teddy bear center she gets from her father. Henry on the other hand is like Emmett in the silly department. When Henry plans a prank, we're all doomed.

Rose, who use to model, is now retired and stays home with the kids, but she also has a part time job helping Esme with her wedding planning. Emmett on the other hand is working at the fire department, putting out fires when he can.

Alice and Jasper also had a daughter who's a year younger than Renesmee. Alyssa Rose or Lissy is the spitting image of her parents. Lissy is in love with anything girly, but she is like her father when it comes to her love of history. She has Jasper's blonde hair, but Alice's green eyes. Alice also owns a boutique now while Jasper became a lawyer. The kids love to hang around Alice's boutique or Jasper's office when they can.

"But didn't you already send one?" I questioned, looking at my daughter in confusion when I heard about her second letter to Santa. Renesmee wrote one during the beginning of December, and I was pretty sure I had all the presents ready. I hope she doesn't want something else.

"It's just one thing, really not a big deal. I just hope that Santa will make it come true," She said as I placed her 101 Dalmatians backpack onto her back.

"So it's a wish?" I asked her as I go to take her hand, ready to bring her to school.

"I guess...I asked him for Daddy," She whispered. I bit my lip as I looked at my innocent five year old daughter with her hair in pigtails. She was in a white winter coat and was clutching to her raggedy old snoopy stuff animal as she looked up at me with her big brown eyes.

"Oh, you know Santa might not be able to make that wish come true," I said.

"But, why?" Renesmee asked, her chin wobbling a bit. "He's Santa! He can do anything!"

"Yes...but Daddy coming home...it's not um up to Santa. Daddy still needs to help people out in that country. We talked about this, Renesmee. Daddy is saving people," I told her. She sighed as I placed her into her car seat.

"But I want my daddy!" she pouted, her lip quivering.

"I know you do baby, and he's going to be home soon. I promise," I told her.

"Pinky?" She asked, sticking her tiny pinky finger at me.

"Pinky," I repeated as I went to hook mine onto hers. She giggled as I then go to kiss both of her cheeks.

"I love you, Momma," she said.

"Me too sweet girl," I said as I go to stroke her face gently. She had so much of her father in her.

I am glad I have Renesmee with me. I don't know what I would have done if it was just me in this big old house without Edward. I'd be pretty lonely, that's for sure.

"Momma can we watch Snoopy and the walnuts for Christmas this year?" Renesmee asked as I entered the driver's seat of the car. I chuckled as I went to back out my mini van.

"You mean the Peanuts?" I corrected her.

"Yeah, them! I wanna watch Snoopy!" Renesmee exclaimed hugging tight to the little snoopy stuff animal Edward had given her for her first Christmas.

Renesmee has this love for Snoopy because she use to watch the specials all the time with Edward. It was their thing besides playing the piano. Before Edward left he had promised Renesmee he'd teach her how to play the theme song on the piano.

"S'not gonna be the same without Daddy though," She mumbled as we passed by the white covered trees of Forks. I sighed as I turned into her elementary school.

"I know baby, but Christmas will be special this year. It will be baby, don't worry. You'll see, and Daddy will be home soon," I told her.

"Okay, Momma." She smiled as I went to go help her out of the car and hug tight to her.

"I love you, you know that? Right?" I asked her. She giggled as I kissed the top of her head.

"I know, Momma. I love you too."

"I love you so so so much. Now have a fun day. Remember, only three more days till Christmas!" I called to her as she ran over to the school door and I watched her from afar.

I smiled seeing she's safely in before heading into the car again. I'm glad the school cleared the place of ice. Renesmee didn't see it once and accidentally slipped. Thank god she was okay, but she did have a few bumps and bruises. I think sadly, it's safe to say, she inherited my clumsiness.

From there I drove an hour to Port Angels. When I reached my office building I head straight inside and right into my cozy little office. Last year I got a promotion so instead of working in a crummy little cubicle I had my very own office.

As I sit down, ready to start working, I spot my photo of Edward, Renesmee, and I at the last Christmas we spent with each other.

I sighed automatically. This was hard. I just wish time would go quicker for once. I just wanted him home with me already.

A/N: Okay so this is the first chapter of this story. This is probably going to be a 4-5 chapter story, not very long. It's a little something for the holidays. Also, in the future, I do not have the greatest knowledge about the military. If I screw something up like rankings or how leaves work, please tell me so I can change it. I don't like screwing stuff up like that. Anyway, this story did come to me after watching some videos of surprise homecomings. I think they're so heart warming so I wanted to write a nice little Christmas story about a Twilight one. I hope you all will enjoy this and let the Christmas festivities begin :D

In the meantime, please review and be on the lookout for the next chapter :)