Anakin is lounging in his Starfighter covered in engine oil, eating lunch while browsing the HoloNet. He had been working hard to fix the intake manifold and needed a food brake. Whist flicking through some recent posts on Holofacer, he finds a quote that catches his attention. "Friends help you move, Best Friends help you move bodies".
Anakin sits up straighter in his fighter. He knows he and Obi-Wan are best friends… but he cannot help but wonder if Obi-Wan would help him with a dead body. He and Obi-Wan are best friends…
Anakin ponders the thought for a moment before relaxing back into his seat. What would it matter anyway? It is not as if there is some way for him to find out if Obi-Wan would go as far as to bury the dead for him
It is not as if he would kill anyone to find out, ether. Anakin pauses in his eating. Or could he… hypothetically. He could go up to Obi-Wan and tell him that he killed someone and needs help with the body.
He will say that he killed Master Windu, they were often at odds enough for it to be believable. He would say he pushed him down the stairs to the level 36 west observatory.
Anakin quickly scoffs down his lunch and heads for the hanger door but pauses. He needs to make it seem believable. He grins and does a few laps around the hanger to work up a sweat.
Obi-Wan takes a long draw of his tea before returning to his leisurely reading. It was not often, that he and Anakin get down time, due to the clone wars. He intends to spend his time immersed in good literature, tea and meditation. A much welcome respite from fighting a war.
Obi-Wan nearly jumps out of his skin when Anakin all but flies though the door to their quarters. "Master, I need help" Anakin cries out.
"Anakin what in th-" He is interrupted shortly.
"I killed Master Windu" Anakin screams at him and for a second he nearly thinks he gave his master a heart attack.
Eyes wide, all the blood has drained from his face, Obi-Wan seems to have given up breathing entirely.
When it becomes obvious that Obi-Wan is not going to say anything he continues "I know this look bad, Hells, it is bad… It was an accident. I didn't mean to send him down the stairs like that, it was only meant to be a little shove with the force… Obi-Wan please! You have to help me, it was an accident, please. I need your help with the body"
This seems to have sprung Obi-Wan into action. He jumps out of his chair quickly "Where is the body?"
"At the bottom of the stairs of the level 36 west observatory" He supplies easily.
"YOU LEFT THE BODY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS? WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO LEAVE THE BODY THERE? Please tell me you at least hid the body"
"YOU THINK I COULD JUST DRAG WINDU'S BODY AROUND THE TEMPLE LIKE A KRIFFING TRAINING MAT? I needed help, so I left him there. Are you going to help or not?" Anakin defends aggressively.
Obi-Wan groans, covering his face with his hands "Yes Anakin. I will help you." He quickly gets his cloak and lightsaber. Anakin breathes a sigh of relief. There would be no way he would get anywhere without his Master's help.
Obi-Wan and Anakin set off to dispose of Master Windu's body, Anakin having forgotten in all his emotion that this was all a test.
They run down the stairs as fast as their safety would allow. Obi-Wan following behind Anakin. They take the steps by threes. When they reach the stairway landing they look for the body.
After a long frantic search it is clear the body is not here.
Obi-Wan looks to Anakin "Well?" He voice wavers under the strain of his panic.
"Windu's body is meant to be right here" Anakin responds frustrated, looking under the stairs.
"Oh, this is not good, Anakin. Where is it?" Obi-Wan moans.
"I don't know!" Anakin yells at him.
Obi-Wan stops his search and glares at him hard. "What do you mean you don't know?!" He yells back just as loud. "How do you just forget where you left the body of someone YOU JUST KILLED?"
"Look, I assumed when you leave a dead body lying around it wouldn't just go missing!" Anakin makes a wide sweeping gesture of the stairwell landing.
Obi-Wan gave him a sour look in response and starts pacing. Anakin watches him warily, trying to work out what would have happened to the body.
After a while Obi-Wan stops, his jaw clenched to the point of pain, hands balled tightly against his chest. He groans lowly rocking back and forth on his heals
"Master, what's wrong? Are you alright?" Anakin inquires frantically.
"Am I alright? AM I ALRIGHT? Karking Hells Anakin. I don't know how it has somehow slipped your notice but YOU HAVE JUST KRIFFING KILLED A JED MASTER. Furthermore THE BODY IS GONE. Oh hells. What are we going to do?" He starts pulling on his hair.
That is when it accrued to Anakin, in his joy that Obi-Wan would in fact help him dispose of a body he had forgotten that there was no body. He didn't kill Master Windu, he is very much alive. How was he to brake this to Obi-Wan?
"Hey… Obi-Wan" Anakin ventures cautiously, trying to find an appropriate way to tell him.
"WHAT?" Obi-Wan snaps at him, eyes wild with very real fear. Anakin can see from where he is standing that Obi-Wan is shacking.
Anakin looks away "… I think maybe that we should… check some of the other observatory stair wells" At Obi-Wan's expression of utter disbelief and horror he continues, clawing wildly for some excuse to give him time to work out how to tell him. "… Just in case I got the place wrong, it was stressful… you forget things when you are stressed"
Obi-Wan's face loses all expression "How could you possibly forget where you murdered a leading member of the Jedi Oder?" he replies levelly. When Anakin looks at his feet he tries again. "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY FORGET WHERE YOU KILLED MASTER WINDU? SHAVIT! HOW DOES THAT JUST ESCAPE YOUR MIND, ANAKIN? E CHU TA! CHUBA HO-TAH"
Anakin shrinks back into himself, he has never seen Obi-Wan this mad. How was he ever going to tell him?
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" Obi-Wan exclaims as he rushes for the stair well exit "Where else could you possibly have been? Oh, forget it. We will try the next nearest one". Anakin is left to catch up with his frantic master as he rushes into one of the main halls of the temple.
Anakin stops in his tracks when he spots none other than Master Windu walking further down the temple halls. He didn't even get a chance to tell Obi-Wan this was all a joke. He knows this cannot end well.
Obi-Wan notices Anakin had stopped and gone ridged. He looks to Anakin's face that currently holds such intense overbearing horror. Felling his heart rate increase to new levels, he looks around frantically to what could have caused such a reaction.
Anakin turns to Obi-Wan and takes hold of his shoulder in an attempt to turn him away. "Master I think we should g-"
"Master Kenobi, Skywalker. A word if I may?" Master Windu calls to them, walking over at a brisk pace. "I have been trying to comm you both for a while now. There is a matter on Dgelmez IX that demands your attention. If the separatists are allowed to take hold of this sector than it would leave trade routs vulnerable to attack"
Obi-Wan looks up at Master Windu weakly, looking for the life of him as if he is about to collapse right there. Windu frowns in concern grasping Obi-Wan shoulder for support he question carefully "Are you feeling alright, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan blinks slowly at him without saying a word. Master Windu looks over to Anakin who looks as if he has just aged 70 odd years.
"Windu, you are not dead" Anakin weakly laughs but his humour comes out flat. "Would you look at that Obi-Wan"
Master Windu's face shows raw confusion, yet none of the frustration he feels at having yet again to deal with the Kenobi-Skywalker antics "And why shouldn't I be alive, Skyw-?".
Master Windu's questioning is cut short when Obi-Wan pulls out of his concerned grasp, draws back his right hand and solidly cuffs Anakin in the face, hard. As Anakin hits the floor, Obi-Wan quickly storms off mumbling about needing some tea.
Master Windu pulls out his comm and calls for the healers to come pick Anakin of the floor.
THE END
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Translations- (All are curse words)
KRIFF = another form of F**K
SHAVIT = another form of S**T
E CHU TA = meaning is not defined but it is a cruse word in Huttese
CHUBA = rude form of saying 'You' (Huttese)
HO-TAH = a foolish being (Huttese)