Rachel and Jesse: Hello Again
Rachel Berry walked confidently through the college hallways that she was now familiar with. She was finally getting used to the college life, even if she was only a freshman. She didn't have many friends yet, only a few acquaintances, but she still felt as if she was on top. The only thing that bothered her was that she wasn't getting as much attention as she hoped she would. She was almost sure that everyone in college would've adored her, admiring her talent and charm, but that's not at all how it's been playing out. She doesn't hear gossip about her in the hallways, and heads don't turn when she urgently walks into the classroom. Those things were a given when she was in high school, but it never happens now. Not once has she been invited to a party, or sorority, and that's really starting to take a toll on her. She needs attention to live, which is what she has been reminding herself since her freshman year in high school. She needs somebody talking about her, even if it's about something humiliating or scandalous. No publicity is bad publicity, right? She just needed something that would get the school talking.
Rachel sat down in the back of the classroom and silently took her cellphone out, hoping that there were messages waiting for her. She turned her phone on and immediately opened the text that was sent from Finn.
Hey, How are things going? We haven't spoken in a while. Hope we can catch up. I miss you.
Rachel stared at the text for a moment then quickly turned it off. She's been avoiding him ever since he decided to join the army, leaving her to explore adulthood on her own. It may sound selfish, but she had everything planned out, and he had to go and change everything at the last second. In her eyes, it was Finn's fault that she was here. She's just been trying to distract herself, hoping that she would finally be able to forget about him.
Rachel sat through a typical class of long lecturing and notes, and was exhausted when the class finally ended. She packed her things up and slowly threw her bag over her shoulder. She was sick of living everyday on a boring college schedule, but she still has a few years left where she's forced to put it up with it. She just feels she needs a major change, and is trying to figure out a way to do that.
Rachel walked quickly out of the classroom and through the hall, when she noticed her friend, Nathan, standing by one of the windows and talking to someone unfamiliar to her. Nathan was a blonde hair, green eyed boy whom she had met in college. She probably would've been interested in dating him, if he hadn't been gay.
"Hey, Nate." Rachel approached him, smiling, and silently looked over the red-headed girl he was speaking to. Nathan smiled and leaned in for a hug, which Rachel quickly took. She slowly let go of him and sighed. "The day's not even close to being over, and I'm already exhausted."
"I hear ya," He laughed, noticing that Rachel was once again looking at his friend. "This is Sara." He said, motioning toward the red head Rachel had been curious about. "Sara, this is Rachel."
Rachel shook Sara's hand with a warm smile. "It's nice to meet you, Sara!"
"It's nice to meet you too." Sara nodded, pulling her hand away.
"I've never seen you around here before." Rachel said. "Are you a freshman as well?"
"No. I'm actually a Junior." Sara admitted, glancing at Nathan. "Nate and I met at one of the frat parties."
"What were you doing at a fraternity party?" Rachel asked, wondering if she'd be able to get into one.
"I just snuck in to mingle. The sororities and fraternities combine a lot, it's not unusual. Have you been to any of the parties yet?" Sara adjusted the strap on her book bag that hung over her shoulder.
Rachel watched and shook her head. "I haven't been invited to any. It's kind of hard to get noticed here."
"There's a party tonight." Sara said, pulling out a slip of paper and writing down, what Rachel assumed, was the address. "It's a unisex party. I think you'll have a lot of fun." She smiled and handed the paper to Rachel. "It starts at ten. Nathan's going, so if you need a ride I'm sure he'll be able to pick you up."
"Thanks," Rachel smiled graciously, folding the slip of paper and hiding it in her back pocket. "I don't have anything better to do, so I will definitely be there."
"Great!" Sara said, looking around the halls. "I better go, but I'll see you later tonight. It was nice meeting you." She was already walking away, tightly gripping the straps on her backpack.
"She's nice," Rachel grinned, silently going over scenarios in her head that could possibly occur during the party. "I can't wait for later tonight."
"Me either," Nathan said as he began walking down the hallway. Rachel followed beside him.
"What should I wear?" Rachel began wondering.
"Just wear what you have on," Nathan said, clearly not interested in helping her pick something out.
"No way. I have to actually look good tonight. There are people I need to make good impressions on." Rachel pressed her lips together, putting together outfits in her head. "I'm definitely going to wear a dress, I know that. No more skirts and frilly shirts, they make me look like I'm in kindergarten." Rachel remembered all of the hurtful things people had said about her clothes in high school. She didn't want to have a rerun of that in college. "Should I wear a black or red dress?" She asked, facing Nate. "Or should I choose a different color?"
"Well black says classy and savvy, while red says sexy and sophisticated. It all depends on what kind of impression you're going for. And the style of the dress is really important too. Are they fitted, tight dresses, or do they flare out at the bottom? Are they short or long? I kind of need to know these things to help you decide." Nathan looked forward and continued walking.
"Well, they're both fitted and tight. And the black is just simple, while the red is lace." Rachel could imagine the dresses in her head, even though she'd never actually worn them out. They just sat in her closet because she'd never had an occasion to put them on.
"Go with the black. Save the red for a holiday party. It sounds very Christmas-y to me." Nathan looked around the hallways, almost as if he was searching for something. Rachel loved having Nate to help her. He reminded her of Kurt, which is why she loves hanging out with him. Nathan is like a glimpse of her life back in Ohio, which makes her remember some of the things she misses so much.
"I'm gonna go to my dorm and get ready then." Rachel kissed Nate's cheek and started walking ahead of him.
"You're going to get ready right now? The party's not going to start for, like, 4 hours," He reminded her, looking at one of the clocks.
"It's okay. It takes me about that long to decide on the shoes I wanna wear," Rachel laughed, continuing forward.
She finally reached her dorm room and unlocked the door. She sighed and slowly walked inside, looking around. She forgot that she'd left it a mess, but she's not in the mood to clean it up. It's not like she's going to invite anyone over. Rachel closed her eyes for a moment while she leaned against the door. She couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities that this party could have. She might meet someone that she could hook up with tonight, or become friends with. Maybe even have an actual romantic relationship with. All she knows is that she is determined to look her best. She has hopes of stunning everyone in the room, and having every guy want to come up and meet her. That'll be the attention she's been so desperately craving.
Rachel pulls away from the door and walks over to her closet, looking inside for the black dress. She finds it and pulls it out, looking it over. It's exactly the way she remembered. Walking over to the bed, she lays the dress out and slips her shirt over her head. She then pulls her pants off and throws the two articles of clothing into the laundry basket. She finally lifts the dress up from the bed and slips it on. Rachel walks over to the mirror and checks herself out, remembering the reason she bought it. It fit her perfectly, hugging her body in all the right places and highlighting her assets. She stared at herself for a while, observing the dress from all angles, then walked back over to the closet to pick out the shoes. She chooses a plain black pair of heels and steps into them, instantly giving her height an extra 4 inches. She then plopped herself down onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling, suddenly realizing how tired she is. College is exhausting, she thought to herself, while playing with her bracelet.. But I have to get ready for this party. If I look good, I might actually start getting more people to notice me, and of course I want that. I'm talented, and determined, and I've been told I'm attractive. I'm long overdue for some extra attention. She stood up and walked over to her dresser, pulling her curling iron out from one of the drawers. She plugged it into the wall by her nightstand and let it heat up. She then began curling her hair loosely, so it look like she put in effort, but not too much. She finished up her hair and then moved on to her makeup, which didn't take long since she kept it pretty simple. It was just a simple college party, and she didn't want to walk in looking too prissy.
She played on her phone for the last few hours until she got a text from Nathan letting her know that it was time for the party. Rachel quickly hopped up and walked outside of her dorm room. She locked the door then ran down flight of stairs to Nate's car, quickly sliding into the passenger seat.
"I'm so excited!" Rachel squealed, buckling up. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this to happen."
Nathan laughed and started driving. "You're right I don't. You look good, by the way."
"Thank you." Rachel smiled, looking out the car window. She was so eager to meet the people there and go to her first ever college party.
They soon arrived to their destination and Rachel was the first to hop out of the car. She took a deep breath and straightened out her dress, looking down at it. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, beginning to feel a bit nervous. Nathan noticed her awkward stance and walked over to her.
"You're gonna be fine. They're gonna love you." He said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Besides, they're college boys. They'll screw anything." He then laughed and walked into the party.
Rachel couldn't help but feel a bit relieved and followed him in. She kept close beside him and looked around the room. There were definitely more boys than girls, which was to be expected. A few guys came up to greet Nathan and offer him a beer. Rachel stood sheepishly beside him, hoping Nathan would introduce her, since they clearly knew him.
"Rachel, These are a few of my friends." He then began introducing them one by one to her. Rachel shook their hands and slyly checked all of them out. They all were good looking, but she had her eyes on the one on the far right of the group, whose name was Matt. She spent extra time getting to know him.
"So, how is the college life treating you?" Matt asked, speaking loudly over the blasting music.
"It's okay." She admitted. "There hasn't been much going on. I haven't really met anybody here."
"College is awesome!" He disagreed. "Is this your first party or something?"
"Yeah, actually. I haven't been invited to any until now." Rachel felt like a loser for saying that, since clearly everyone here partied daily.
"Well you can definitely come to any we throw. You're always welcome here," He smiled, taking a sip from his red plastic cup. "Would you like a drink?" He asked, offering his beverage to her.
"No thank you," She said, furrowing her brows. "I don't drink."
"What?" He asked, not convinced. "Why?"
"Well, I'm not 21 yet." She suddenly realized she wasn't meant for the college party lifestyle.
"Neither am I, but you don't see that stopping me," He laughed, chugging the rest of his drink and throwing it over his shoulder. "How about I introduce you to some of my other friends?" Matt asked, taking her hand and leading her to a group of people. She followed behind him and sighed, not really in the mood to party anymore.
"Okay, so there's Zach, Emma," He began slowly listing off his friends, pointing to each individual as he did so.
"Then there's Alex, Joe, and my man, Jesse." He finished, patting Jesse on the shoulder.
Rachel's eyes widened with disbelief. "Jesse St. James?" She asked, slowly walking closer to him, not sure what she was expecting.
"Rachel?" Jesse smiled, putting his cup down and pulling her into a hug. Rachel was shocked and hugged him back, tightly. This whole reunion happened so quickly, Rachel couldn't even get her emotions straight. She quickly pulled away from Jesse and remembered how he had left her in high school; with a cracked egg on her forehead. She couldn't find a way to put her emotions and words together, so she stood there, speechless, which was something that didn't happen often.
"Rachel, How have you been?" He continued smiling and grabbed both of her arms, looking her up and down. "You look gorgeous!"
"I've been okay," Rachel said, quickly pulling her arms away. She didn't want much to do with him.
"Wow, you've changed a lot since we were together." He said, still taking in her new appearance.
"Well, I've grown up." She folded her arms and looked up at him.
"So have I," He said. "I really have. I'm more mature now, I promise."
"None of the college boys are mature," She scoffed, looking at the party animals around her.
"But I'm an older college boy," Jesse reminded her. She'd forgotten that he had always been two grades ahead of her.
Rachel felt the need to keep this confrontation very short. She had to get away from him. "Well, it was nice seeing you again Jesse," She lied. "Have a good rest of the night," She finished, then quickly shuffled away to find Nate.
"Wait, Rach, hold up," He said, following behind her. He caught up to her and grabbed her hands. "Don't you wanna catch up? It's been a while since we've seen eachother." He was still silently checking her out as he spoke, but she chose to ignore it.
"No it's okay, we really don't need to do that," She insisted, slipping her hands out of his. "I should really find my friend and get going."
She honestly felt like crying. Seeing Jesse not only reminded her of home, but of the heartbreak he'd left her with in high school. For a girl as young as she was, she had loved him, but he had never been capable of loving her back. Every emotion he had during their relationship was all an act. He really should've won an Emmy.
"Rachel, do you want to talk? If there's something you want to say to me, just say it." It became clear that he wasn't going to let her leave without an explanation.
"Honestly Jesse, I just do not want to see or speak to you ever again." She angrily pushed past the crowd of people as quickly as she could to get away from him. She found Nate and stood beside him, beginning to tear up. Rachel dabbed the inner corners of her eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn't continue forming. She couldn't have anyone notice how upset she was, especially Jesse.
She frantically looked to make sure he wasn't anywhere near her. He was there, however, standing in front of her, looking confused and hurt. He doesn't have the right to feel upset, Rachel thought.
Jesse threw his arms up, almost as if he were saying he gives up. "Rachel, I am really sorry about what happened back in high school. I know that's what you're upset about," He sighed for a moment, thinking about what to say. "If I could go back in time to change how I treated you, I would. Believe me, I would." He seemed genuine when he spoke, something Rachel didn't really see back in high school. "What's done is done though, Rach. I can't change what's already happened. I wish I could, but it's not possible. I just hope we can move on from that and start over." He looked at her sadly, which Rachel felt bad about. He really did seem to regret what he'd done. She was still cautious, however. He has had a reputation of being an extremely convincing actor.
"I can't forgive you," Rachel finally managed, pulling her hair over to one side. "I can be an adult and move on, though."
Jesse smiled, relieved that she had finally agreed to forget his regretful situation in the past. It felt like the closure that he's needed. "I'm glad, Rachel. You don't know how guilty I've felt over the past few years. That's the one burden that's never managed to go away."
Rachel did begin to feel better knowing that he actually felt really sorry. She only wondered where they were going to go from here.